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your thoughts on chavs

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by oxygenuk, Aug 30, 2005.

?
  1. Waste of life

    35 vote(s)
    43.8%
  2. If murdering was legal they would be dead

    32 vote(s)
    40.0%
  3. Im a chav!

    1 vote(s)
    1.3%
  4. I like them

    3 vote(s)
    3.8%
  5. i dont mind them

    9 vote(s)
    11.3%
  1. oxygenuk

    oxygenuk
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    heres an interesting one for ya guys.

    i live in essex so theres enough of the ****ers around here and i simply think there a waste of life and should all die to make way for decent human beings.

    what do you all think :D
     
  2. Kopite4Ever

    Kopite4Ever
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    bit harsh to have them die but IMO if you leave school and dont go on to further education or Employment then these people should have national service.
     
  3. stevegreen

    stevegreen
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    It's a bit of a generalisation :suicide:
     
  4. themoid

    themoid
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    they make me laugh with their dress sense and Kev'd up cars :D
     
  5. BDCSTENG GARETH

    BDCSTENG GARETH
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    I live in Sutton , Surrey.

    Chav central!

    I live on a main road (just off A217), and I'm amaized that there are not more deaths due to Chav driving!

    Nevermind the cars, but motorbikers...

    I waas passed by a bike (while I was on my 750cc) and this bloke pulled a weelie, with a 600cc bandit, wearing t-shirt and shorts... overcooked it and ended up the other side of the road! He started laughing (assumed through the way his head and sholders were moving) and F'd off! :eek:

    Burbery shorts... Hmmm lots of protection there! :suicide:

    I personally think that its survival of the fittest, and I'll be around alot longer than them! :hiya:
     
  6. Mr Cat

    Mr Cat
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    shame tho - as a lot of them do come from poor backgrounds and have to dress up as they do, but with some it is an image thing tho...

    anyway, here's a guide to charvers - the northern counterpart...

    How to be a charver


    Lesson 1: Borrowing A Tab

    WITHIN MINUTES of arriving in Newcastle you will encounter the legendary Geordie hospitality, when a complete stranger approaches you with his right hand extended. "Lenz a tab," he’ll say.
    You have made a pal, and he is suggesting you cement the friendship with the long-term loan of a cigarette. You, in turn, are obliged to lend him one.
    This routine will happen every time you venture out in Newcastle. So if you don’t smoke, now’s a good time to start.
    The ‘friendliest’ types are young lads wearing colourful sportswear and a "nippa" behind their ear, who sound as though they’re talking through their left nostril.
    When he says "Lenz a tab," you will reply "nee bother, charver." He’ll be sure to look out for you in future.
    He may have a female with him. She’ll also be wearing sportswear, dripping with gold-coloured jewellery. The fringe of her yellow hair will have been carefully sprayed over a coke tin until it’s twice the size of her head. She is known as a Kappa Slapper – or "me bewer."
    In this case you will offer two cigarettes. And if you’re feeling particularly gregarious, add the words "bet she gans like the clappaz." Your wit will be noted.
    Now that you understand this easy piece of etiquette, why not try it yourself?
    Simply walk up to a stranger in a bar or on a bus, lean close to their face, and say the words:
    "Lenz a tab."
    Better still, try it on everyone you pass in the street – you’ll be surprised at the interesting situations this can lead to.
    And you’ll know when you’ve met a true kindred spirit, when they reply "Ah was ganna ask yee."

    Lesson 2: Getting Drunk

    The twin vices of the Charver are drink and drugs – although the peeve1 I slightly harder to obtain than tack2. This is because charvers are too young to get into pubs, which means hanging around outside the offie until someone can be ‘persuaded’ to go in and buy their bottles.
    So first of all, choose your shop and position yourself by the doorway, but out sight of the owner. If spotted you’ll have to nash3, because he’ll assume you’re on the chaw4.
    You could be there for some time, so why not while away the hours with a bit hockling?
    All charver’s hockle5 – it’s as natural as breathing. It also enables them to find their friends, by simply following the trail of phlegm from the shop to the bus shelter, and back.
    You should have a decent-sized pool at your feet before some dafty6 agrees to make your purchase.
    Charvers have a varied palate, in that they’re not fussy what they drink. But most aim to get monged7 for less than three bar8; so it’s got to be cheap.
    Fortunately, this market is well catered for. Many favour speccy9, a bottle of which will rip your wires out for a couple of bar. Similar tipples include White Lightning, Zodiac and Storm. The names hint at the damage they’ll inflict on your brain.
    Wine is popular with the Bella10 Boys, who have seen the state of imbecility tramps manage to achieve, on a couple of bottles. Basically, any white wine with a name ending in ‘brusco’ is considered too nasty for general consumption, and is knocked out to alkies and charvers at around a quid a bottle. Double cush11.
    You’ll need somewhere to do your drinking, and a bus shelter is just the job.





    TRANSLATOR
    1 PEEVE Alcoholic. Also, to drink: "I was proper peeved-up."
    2 TACK Hashish, usually of a very poor quality
    3 NASH To move swiftly: “He proper did a nash when me fatha came home”
    4 CHAW To steal
    5 HOCKLE Spit
    6 DAFTY Thick or gullible person
    7 MONGED Off one’s head
    8 BAR An English pound: "Me fine was only fowty-bar."
    9 SPECCY Spectrum cider, cheap and nasty
    10 BELLA Bella Brusco, a vile white wine
    11 DOUBLE CUSH Very good. Also ‘pure cush’, or simply ‘cush’
    12 CRIB Where a charver sleeps: "Am gan yairm to me crib."



    NAME: Danielle


    AGE: 16
    LIVES: With mam and her boyfriend in flat in Elswick
    WEARS: Kappa top, Kappa pants and Reebok trainers,
    ACCESSORIES: Hair piled up with gold ruffle, several kilos of gold chains around neck, sovereign rings, loads of orange makeup and a tab.
    CAR: Boyfriend Darren’s Y-reg Fiesta (the ‘Shaggin’ Wagon’)
    HOBBIES: Making sure "me fringe" is always perfect, chewing gum (even when eating chips), going to me mates, going nowhere
    MUSIC: Happy Hardcore. Hates Indie music
    TELLY: Big Breakfast, Home & Away and Emmerdale
    FILMS: Action movies ‘cos Darren likes them
    SPORT: I forge a sick note to get off games at school
    FOOD: Chips & gravy from the Chinkies, me mam’s dinners, Burger King burgers
    HOLIDAYS: Going to Ibiza next year if I get a job
    DRINK & DRUGS: Castaway & Diamond White (with a straw), Embassy Regal and some tack if Darren’s got any



    NAME: Greavesy



    AGE: 15
    LIVES: With mam and girlfriend Kelly-Marie, on Harms Way, Bensham
    WEARS: Nike top (XL), tracky bottoms tucked into white socks, Air Jordan sneeks, checky cloth cap, nippa behind left ear
    CAR: Can take owt you want from one
    HABITS & HOBBIES: Filling bus shelters with spit and tab-ends, setting pet Staffy on students and Goths, The Toon
    MUSIC: Not fussed – them Steps are worth a shag
    TELLY: The Bill, Toon on Sky Sports
    FILMS: Nah, prefer vids
    SPORT: Pool, fighting, The Toon
    FOOD: McCain’s Micro Chips, instant mash & baked beans, pickled onion crisps
    HOLIDAYS: School one (Jan – Dec), occasional day trips to MetroCentre on the thieve
    DRINK & DRUGS: Bit of tack, big bottle of Tango (for bong), Bella Brusco with White Lightning, pack of Drum a day

    NAME: Tiffany (girl mates call her Tiff, boy mates call here Fanny)



    AGE: 20
    WORK: Mother and homemaker
    LIVES: In council house with daughter Chantelle and boyfriend Wayne. Wayne’s other daughter, Tamara, lives with his ex-wife. House has leaded windows, Austrian blinds, outside lights front and back, satellite dish, supermarket trolley and old carpet in garden
    DAY WEAR: Naff Naff T-shirt, Sweater Shop cardigan, leggings and flip-flops. A Berghaus coat for when it’s less than seventy-degrees
    EVENING WEAR: Anything tight and short and easy to get off
    CAR: Benwell Taxis
    HABITS & HOBBIES: Benson & Hedges, Wrigleys, sitting on dining chair on front step, talking to Sharon next door. Friday nights, Bigg Market
    TELEVISION: Anything on Sky
    FILMS: Anything on Sky Movie
    SPORTS: Toon on Sky Sports, W.W.F.
    FOOD: Something from Netto after collecting Chantelle from nursery.
    HOLIDAYS: Spain next year with Wayne
    DRINK & DRUGS: Bottle of white wine before going out, some tack and a few trebs. Cushty.
     
  7. Nobber22

    Nobber22
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    The couple pushing their twins through Woolworths yesterday were not too bad.......wish he was wearing a shirt and she more than a bikini, but hey! :rolleyes:
     
  8. Jase

    Jase
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  9. oxygenuk

    oxygenuk
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    thats a class test LOL :D

    im 18% chav apparently, some weird questions on there that dont relate to chav IMO too lol
     
  10. The Dude

    The Dude
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    national service would probably work.... just chav up the uniform with some burberry 'body armour' and 'helmet'.... tanks drive about the same speed as chavmobiles, and make the same noise... so maybe just add fake tracks and let them use their Nova SRs..

    they'd make a good, cost effective way of clearing the abandoned minefields in Iraq and Bosnia.... just put up some 20mph signs at the start of the minefield, get some 13 year old girls to hang around at the far end, and watch them go..!!! :thumbsup:

    and you could always revert to using pigs/goats if chavs are out of season...?
     
  11. Kopite4Ever

    Kopite4Ever
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    Wannabe chav

    You are 8 % chav


    You clearly know you are not, nor will you ever be anything even closely resembling a bonafide chav but that doesn't stop you from jumping on the bling bandwagon every now and then. There's nothing wrong with a bit of pretending though you'll never be able to hold your own with the true Burberry brigade.
     
  12. stealther

    stealther
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    Waste of life. they should be charged for the oxygen they use up!
     
  13. Razor

    Razor
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    Mr Cat

    That has to be the best post I have read in ages. LMFAO [​IMG]

    Brilliant :thumbsup:
     
  14. Ed Selley

    Ed Selley
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    8% Chav. I have eaten a Pot Noodle and I am prone to taking little bottles of Shampoo out of Hotel Rooms.

    Otherwise not too bothered by "Chavs." One thing that I think is important is to note that actually most "working class" (not my favourite descriptive phrase) are not Chavs and by the same token not all (many in fact) chavs are working class. As a movement it is hard to pigeonhole on by any means other than that of whether you have had a taste bypass or not.
     
  15. PoochJD

    PoochJD
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    Ha,

    Nice test! :rotfl:

    One or two odd questions - like the about entering a Happy Eater or Little Chef (other than to use their toilets) - but other than that, class! :clap:

    FWIW, I'm a measly 8% chav! :eek: :rotfl:


    Pooch
     
  16. SanPedro

    SanPedro
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    Should we vote that anybody more than 20% chav be banned from these here forums?



    ;)


    (I was 15%, phew)
     
  17. Seth Gecko

    Seth Gecko
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    I'm with Pooch on the "Happy Chef" thing - sometimes you need to buy a coffee and drain the lizard ......

    Still only 5% ....... :)
     
  18. GalacticaActual

    GalacticaActual
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    You are 3% chav



    Ha. only 3% thank the lords for that.

    kill em all , let god sort em out :D

    sorry, that coment may have been a bit strong? :eek: but when you have had your shop robbed by them, been assaulted by them and deal with them on a daily basis, you would forgive me for entering into this frame of mind :devil:
     
  19. mcfarfs

    mcfarfs
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    A lot of them are quite primitive....
     
  20. seany

    seany
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    I'd have voted for "Media driven rubbish" if it was up there
     
  21. The Dude

    The Dude
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    looks like a big fat zero for both "i'm a chav" and "i like them"..... :rotfl:
     
  22. Razor

    Razor
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    10% for me. :rolleyes:
     
  23. stealther

    stealther
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    How can buying a bunch of flowers from a petrol station be chavish? :eek:

    Its 11pm at night and your on your way to the airport to pick up your fiancee and whilst your filling up you spot a nice bunch of flowers that you think will be a nice welcome home present. :smashin:

    The Little chef, never met a chav who could afford to eat at the little chef they all go to macdonalds on the other side of the motorway :)

    Chunters about stupidly high chav test score (21%) and gos off to sulk in corner of office blabbering about not being remotely chavish :suicide: :D
     
  24. Nobber22

    Nobber22
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    I was chatting to two couples who came over for dinner last night and we were all talking about our local "chavs". There are plenty in our town and surrounding area, but I thought they didn't really bother me. I had almost nothing to do with them and vice-versa. Bit like trannies: they're out there, but so what??

    However the other two couples had plenty to say: one pair has an 11 year old daughter and they are tearing their hair out at the chav friends/classmates she has at school. There is almost nothing they can do (besides changing to an expensive private school) to avoid the chav influence on their kid. :thumbsdow Chavs are a big issue in their lives.

    The other couple have a 1 year old and are considering moving to New Zealand, specifically to prevent their son growing up in Chav Britain. The husband in particular, is all for "murdering the little buggers enmass". :rolleyes:

    My wife and I don't have kids (and are not in a hurry either), so chavs are just something we have to put up with in the high street & Tesco - hence why I now shop at Waitrose. :D

    So I guess it depends on two things:

    1) where you live

    2) how much they REALLY influence your life
     
  25. la gran siete

    la gran siete
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    Thats a bit of an understatement.

    The way i see it they are just a youth cult much as existed in my youth exept then they were called skinheads or greasers and dressed differently.They are trying to assert an identity setting themsleve apart form the general population. Like the aforementioned skins they come from a working class background quite possibly deprived in one sense or another and fined strength in numbers.If they shock a few because of their dress or manner this will not bother them as they want to leave their mark.My guess is that the vast majority are harmless and will eventiually settle down and lead normal lives.My suggestion is dont generalise, treat everyone as an individual and dont be phased by their appearance.Obvioulsy if you see a group behaving in a loud and boisterous ( possibly drunk)manner avoid them. :)
     
  26. Mr Cat

    Mr Cat
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    thing is tho - you'll never see a true chav work... ;)
     
  27. Ed Selley

    Ed Selley
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    As I said earlier this is not entirely true. I agree with your sentiment but unlike many previous iterations of youth culture, "chavism" is not the preserve of the working class. It is also far, far less about a single ideal than Punks or Skinheads. It is also very consumer orientated in basic contrast to older movements.
     
  28. oxygenuk

    oxygenuk
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    we have 1 chav on here so far then according to the results.

    omg their everywhere :lol:
     
  29. Ian J

    Ian J
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    I'm 5% chav and seem to have got that for knowing someone that has an outdoor hot tub. As he is a member of this forum I hope that he is happy now that I am part chav through association. :mad:
     
  30. oxygenuk

    oxygenuk
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    Lol i thought the hot tub bit was stupid.

    1000's of celebritys have them including rockstars, so i guess all them celebs and rockstars are chavs eh :rotfl:
     

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