woodchipper funeral

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by jimmypsychotic, Jan 12, 2019.

  1. jimmypsychotic

    jimmypsychotic
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    Hi,
    I'm going through a bout of illness at the moment with this and reading peter laws The frightners book I've been contemplating my own morality and how I'd like to be buried etc.I was wondering if it was legal to be put through a woodchipper as it cuts out the expense of a funeral and it is instant manure for the earth.
     
  2. Foster

    Foster
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    your name is certainly appropriate :laugh:
     
  3. jimmypsychotic

    jimmypsychotic
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    Why thank you
     
  4. busterbenny2001

    busterbenny2001
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    This is more like a 3am Saturday posting #scary
     
  5. IronGiant

    IronGiant
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    Google it and see how many hits you get to people offering the service. Hint: you won't find any.
     
  6. busterbenny2001

    busterbenny2001
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    What’s that? You spotted a gap in the market !
     
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  7. jimmypsychotic

    jimmypsychotic
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    In all seriousness guys I want to go out the same way I lived my life on my own terms.without all the bullisH*t and expense to my family.I'd rather have my remains returned the earth to be used as manure to help a tree grow than line somebody's pocket at my family's expense.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2019
  8. Foster

    Foster
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    You could just get cremated then taken away in a box?
     
  9. The Dreamer

    The Dreamer
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    You could do what my dad did, and donate your body to medical science.

    When they've finished with you, they carry out your wishes at no expense to the family.
     
  10. hippy240980

    hippy240980
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    You could have a natural funeral. No chemicals etc.
    And this website gives information on how to keep costs down
    Natural Death Centre .org - Keeping costs down

    The best way to make sure your relatives are not bearing the cost of your funeral is for you to plan it and make sure someone knows about those plans and your wishes before the day comes.
     
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  11. jimmypsychotic

    jimmypsychotic
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    I've already donated my body to be harvested with the government's organ donor program.Which I think everyone should sign up to.
     
  12. MrSossidge

    MrSossidge
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    I don't think funerals are for the deceased. They are for everyone else. A chance for them to come together and say goodbye. You can have a service at a crem without all the pomp and ceremony. If you don't want the expense to be a burden on the family then plan for it yourself. Plenty of places offer it. Or have yourself buried in your back garden.

    Ultimately, no matter what you decide, the family you leave behind will still have to organise and arrange things on your behalf. So let them decide.
     
  13. DPinBucks

    DPinBucks
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    Have a read of this, which puts it into perspective:

    https://www.lastingpost.com/burial-on-private-land/

    You have to remember that a human body is highly dangerous to other humans, because it harbours all the disease oragnisms we are subject to. It most certainly could not simply be used as fertilizer. A dog or cat, say, does not, so is relatively safe.

    No way would you be allowed to simply chop up or shred a body in the way you suggest, and rightly so. In any case, a simple shredder would not handle it (despite Fargo), and what would you do with it afterwards?
     
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  14. aVdub

    aVdub
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    Woodchipper...

    This is a true story.
    is a true story.
    a true story.
    true story.
    story.
     
  15. davidjohnson

    davidjohnson
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    CUcchnGU8AAC3iU.jpg
     
  16. bodoman

    bodoman
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    If your going through the chipper the government is going to need a combine harvester to collect your body :eek:
     
  17. noiseboy72

    noiseboy72
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    As the human body can't be used as manure - in the same way that animal carcasses can't, how about turning them into bi-fuel? We've got this machine at work that takes in food waste from aircraft - which as it has come in from overseas has to be treated as low grade hazardous and turns it into a substance a little like Christmas cake, which is them compressed into bricks ready to be burnt.

    The same could be done with a body. We'd need to mince you up, compress the mince to remove excess fluids and then put you through what is essentially a large tumble dryer. The cycle takes about 2 hours for 500Kgs, so a body won't take long.

    We've got a bio-fuel generation plant on site, so we can use you to generate the heat and power to prepare the meals for the next flight. Anywhere you would like to go??

    Sorry, I know this is a bit tongue in cheek and gruesome, but it's perfectly feasible to do. We are looking at the technique for clinical waste, as it's much more energy efficient than just incineration.
     
  18. MrFraggle

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    Which is what I am doing, cost £4,600 fort my late partners funeral which her son thought was the best way so spend her small estate.
     
  19. Trollslayer

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    There are some crematoriums that use the heat, there is one that uses it to heat a nearby swimming pool!
     
  20. Cord Cutter

    Cord Cutter
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    Wood chipper? That's a new one
     
  21. John

    John
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    You're using the wrong search engine
     
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  22. Trollslayer

    Trollslayer
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    It was in an episode of Bones.
     
  23. bigjb

    bigjb
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    Knowing this government they would charge an air tax for the short time your flying through the air.
     
  24. Trollslayer

    Trollslayer
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    And Ryanair would charge you to land.
     
  25. McVicar

    McVicar
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    Are you assuming his sexuality?
     
  26. Trollslayer

    Trollslayer
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    No, he runs on petrol AND diesel.
     
  27. McVicar

    McVicar
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    It's funny you should ask that...
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    Inspector.jpg
     
  28. McVicar

    McVicar
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    It's funny you should ask that...
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    I think that should be by default.
     
  29. McVicar

    McVicar
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    It's funny you should ask that...
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    To the OP: Given the subject matter you still sound quite chipper

    On that note I'm Retiring* from the world of comedy. Yes I did say "Retiring", indicating I was funny up until that point. No backsies. :p



























    *for 10 minutes approx
     
  30. McVicar

    McVicar
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    Bach has a lot to answer for.jpeg.jpg
     

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