People, what's wrong with their wiring?

So..... when the Mrs goes out and buys clothes in sales for her and the two minors, buys other womanly products like lipstick and other face shite plus other things the darling sponges seemingly require, she is saving us money when its in the sale.... i never hear how much is spent just that I saved £500...!!!

What a lucky sod I am....

However when I drop £2,000 on the new TV and suggest that an accompanying soundbar would compliment the set up... i am wasting money.

I took the opportunity to point out that on release this TV was £5,000+ and I got it for just over 2 and the sound bar would come in at an other grand meaning we have still saved in the region of £2,000 in total..... using her methodology of money saved = cash in our pocket.

Needless to say i now have to endure the never ending journey of man, to discover what I have done wrong, why I should change my ways and grovel eternally for my inconsiderate attitude and moronic stupidity....
 
A marriage made in Richer Sounds :rotfl:
 
I thought coalminers were small? So they could get into the smaller gaps at the coal face?

i had an ex-colleague (from an ex pit village in county durham) who said back in the day that it was a mark of a success if you were short as you'd get the best jobs in the mines and earned more...personally i think he was trying to justify the fact he was short.. :D
 
i had an ex-colleague (from an ex pit village in county durham) who said back in the day that it was a mark of a success if you were short as you'd get the best jobs in the mines and earned more...personally i think he was trying to justify the fact he was short.. :D
happy-dwarf-miner-2AFR94A.jpg
 
Seaham?
 
I remember that place vaguely.
 
My wife has many lovely traits. Her mood on being woken is not one of them. But of course, this morning she's off to the gym, so was up at 07:00, setting up her one-man-band in the kitchen, crashing about like a fudging maniac...with the kitchen door wide open :mad:

If this wouldn't be bad enough anyway, we're decorating (which she knows, as she's helping me), so our bedroom door can't be closed at the moment.

I snapped awake this morning, as it sounded almost exactly like some riot police had entered my house by bashing the kitchen door open and then decided to repeatedly ram the drawers in the dishwasher open and closed.

I stomped downstairs in a (justifiable imo) grump and said to my wife 'see that wide open door? Why not try shutting the fudger?'
She replied 'Good morning to you too!', so I reminded her that when she's woken up, she's always been unbearable. I then apologised for my outburst and she apologised for being inconsiderate.

Silver cloud though, I've told her that I get to watch her stretch off when she comes back from the gym (pervy face emoji)
 
i have this in my head :D
 
My wife told me yesterday that she thought she had a virus which was affecting her vocal cords. How I managed not to say that it hadn't stopped her rabbiting, I just don't know.

BTW, she ended up having to scoop out the foam from the dishwasher. It was like watching someone transporting candy floss.
 
I'm not going to read through 432 pages to see if this has already been mentioned...

Does anyone else have a missus that absolutely has to "win" when it comes to being the most tired? Whenever I've busted my balls all day on a million different tasks and then, come evening time, I dare mention how tired I'm feeling, it's like I've sounded the 4-minute warning. If she's also wrecked, she makes it sound like I've just arisen from a 12-hour power nap by comparison.

FML.
 
. If she's also wrecked,
Pro tip - This isn’t required for women to be more tired than you regardless of actual physical work done by each of you. Source - about 34 years living with three different women for at least 7 years each :rotfl:
 
Pro tip - This isn’t required for women to be more tired than you regardless of actual physical work done by each of you. Source - about 34 years living with three different women for at least 7 years each :rotfl:

Ahh, that’s why they call it the seven year itch. :laugh:
 
Me telling the Mrs about that explosion in Beirut "Apparently it was 2,700 tonnes of ammonium nitrate set off by someone welding"
Her reply "Why did they put it all beside someone welding?"
 
Came home last night with her in doors. She opens up, walks through the living room opens the patio doors, grabs the keys to the conservatory doors, opens those doors, walks into the garden and picks up two watering cans. Stood at the sink filling the cans I asked her if she'd washed her hands.
"No"she says "but it's alright cos I haven't touched anything"

:rolleyes:
 
Complicated Facts About Women:

1. They believe in saving.
2. Believe in saving but buy expensive clothes.
3. Buy expensive clothes but never have anything to wear.
4. Never have anything to wear, but often dressed beautifully.
5. Often dressed beautifully, but never satisfied.
6. Never satisfied, but still expect men to compliment them.
7. Expect men to compliment them, but don't believe them if complemented.
 
Would you have it any other way? :rotfl:
 
Nipped off to the loo last night, whilst gone she turns the bedroom light off, walks back into the room, completely pitch black, me blind as bat with no specs on. She bloody jumps out at me in the dark, scaring me half to death. :rotfl:
 
Nipped off to the loo last night, whilst gone she turns the bedroom light off, walks back into the room, completely pitch black, me blind as bat with no specs on. She bloody jumps out at me in the dark, scaring me half to death. :rotfl:

Any recent life insurance policies by any chance?
 
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My OH once squirted a big dose of fairy liquid into the washing machine.

I thought it was going to pop and took about 12-15 rinse cycles to get rid of it.

My wife for some unknown reason decided to put washing up liquid into the dishwasher with the tablet because apparently it would help with the clean. Had to wait a couple of days until the bubbles died down before we could use it again.
 
Complicated Facts About Women:

1. They believe in saving.
2. Believe in saving but buy expensive clothes.
3. Buy expensive clothes but never have anything to wear.
4. Never have anything to wear, but often dressed beautifully.
5. Often dressed beautifully, but never satisfied.
6. Never satisfied, but still expect men to compliment them.
7. Expect men to compliment them, but don't believe them if complemented.

Tru dat
 

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