People, what's wrong with their wiring?

Nipped off to the loo last night, whilst gone she turns the bedroom light off, walks back into the room, completely pitch black, me blind as bat with no specs on. She bloody jumps out at me in the dark, scaring me half to death. :rotfl:
She calls these pranks spicing my head.

Other pranks include
Telling me she was actually 25 and not 35, so the age gap was actually 22 yrs and not 12 yrs. I then went off on a rant how we had no future because she was too young. This went on for a good hr.

Moving the toilet roll out of the toilet so i have no way of cleansing myself.


Although i mention the word Ginger (Ex girlfriend was ginger/blonde still harassing me as well) and she immediately reacts.
 
She calls these pranks spicing my head.

Other pranks include
Telling me she was actually 25 and not 35, so the age gap was actually 22 yrs and not 12 yrs. I then went off on a rant how we had no future because she was too young. This went on for a good hr.

Moving the toilet roll out of the toilet so i have no way of cleansing myself.


Although i mention the word Ginger (Ex girlfriend was ginger/blonde still harassing me as well) and she immediately reacts.
Yeah, but, can you take it, at your age? 😁
 
Last ex GF kept telling me that she had attached the documents she was sending me via email and that I would soon be in possession of it. So far, so good. A week later, with the email nowhere in sight, I asked her for it, reminding her of its significance. Her reply was "its in an email". This went on for a further week, and was really trying my patience. Finally, I told her that I had had enough, having searched through all email correspondence and finding nothing. Still she maintained it was in an email. Notice in 'an' email not 'the' email. When I finally blew a fuse, she told me that the document was in an email, but she had not yet sent it.

What is it that goes through the mind of a woman who has two degrees, one in medicine the other in computer science, that she simply cannot bring herself to simply tell me instantly, what took two weeks to tell me.

I am now blissfully single and have remained that way for some considerable time.
 
Defibrillator next to the bed, just in case. 😂

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I'd double dip for sure.
 
Said to the wife 'Would you like some Armagnac?' (Very good and expensive bottle given to us as present). 'No thank you' was the reply. I said I thought I would have some. Response was ' I only didn't want any if you weren't having any'. AAARRRRGGGGHHH
 

She strongly resembles one of my neighbours daughters. The gal ain't bad looking and has a killer bod. She also has a great sense of humour. Not terribly swift, though. We were talking a couple of years ago, about a feature in my back garden. I jokingly said, you can see it from space. She believed me. Watching her walk away was compensation enough. 😁
 
The next time we met, the first thing she did was punch me on the upper left arm saying as she did so "you, you, you fibber, it can't be seen from space!" I took this to mean she loves me, really. Fitted white blouse, skin tight, faded blue jeans, which she must have been poured into to get them on, and a pair of calf-length brown boots.😍 Quite made my day. 😊
 
The next time we met, the first thing she did was punch me on the upper left arm saying as she did so "you, you, you fibber, it can't be seen from space!" I took this to mean she loves me, really. Fitted white blouse, skin tight, faded blue jeans, which she must have been poured into to get them on, and a pair of calf-length brown boots.😍 Quite made my day. 😊

Made my day too! :laugh:
 
It's the wrong type of rain. Lol

That's Network Rail surely. :rotfl:

Anyhow, something that came to my attention last week on a bus was when an old Australian who was rather loud (surprising as that may seem) was saying to a friend in the seat next to him...

"And you know, ten years ago, on the beaches here, all the women would be topless but NOW, nothing"

It was one of those things you hear when you end up thinking "d'you know, you're quite right".

These days, very few ladies bare chests at the beach compared to the noughties when it was so commonplace you'd think you were in the south of France.

In contrast, what is commonplace now, particularly with the younger set, is the minimal clothing worn down south which on occasions is so minuscule they may as well have not bothered.

On a hot day on a walk along the promenade it's very distracting and I imagine if you were riding a cycle you might well fall off.

But it's an interesting dichotomy. No longer boldly exposing the bare flesh on the top deck but far more liberal downstairs.

So I wonder what has contributed to this seismic shift in behaviour: something somewhere must have triggered this cultural change - thoughts anyone?
 
That's Network Rail surely. :rotfl:

Anyhow, something that came to my attention last week on a bus was when an old Australian who was rather loud (surprising as that may seem) was saying to a friend in the seat next to him...



It was one of those things you hear when you end up thinking "d'you know, you're quite right".

These days, very few ladies bare chests at the beach compared to the noughties when it was so commonplace you'd think you were in the south of France.

In contrast, what is commonplace now, particularly with the younger set, is the minimal clothing worn down south which on occasions is so minuscule they may as well have not bothered.

On a hot day on a walk along the promenade it's very distracting and I imagine if you were riding a cycle you might well fall off.

But it's an interesting dichotomy. No longer boldly exposing the bare flesh on the top deck but far more liberal downstairs.

So I wonder what has contributed to this seismic shift in behaviour: something somewhere must have triggered this cultural change - thoughts anyone?

I still remember going to the South of France for the first time. I must have been 12 / 13 and upon walking on to the beach, didn’t know where to look! It was just boobs in every direction :laugh:
 
That's Network Rail surely. :rotfl:

Anyhow, something that came to my attention last week on a bus was when an old Australian who was rather loud (surprising as that may seem) was saying to a friend in the seat next to him...



It was one of those things you hear when you end up thinking "d'you know, you're quite right".

These days, very few ladies bare chests at the beach compared to the noughties when it was so commonplace you'd think you were in the south of France.

In contrast, what is commonplace now, particularly with the younger set, is the minimal clothing worn down south which on occasions is so minuscule they may as well have not bothered.

On a hot day on a walk along the promenade it's very distracting and I imagine if you were riding a cycle you might well fall off.

But it's an interesting dichotomy. No longer boldly exposing the bare flesh on the top deck but far more liberal downstairs.

So I wonder what has contributed to this seismic shift in behaviour: something somewhere must have triggered this cultural change - thoughts anyone?

Girlfriend still takes her top off. She even does it on our decking. And when we're out walking if she has a tight top on, you can see guys staring. They just say hello to her chest. :rotfl:

The problem with these fashions is, if the everything isn't tight and firm, the outfits look daft.
I always feel the Europeans do sexiness better than the Brits.
It's the same with men, pot belly, moobs, twig legs, stumpy legs, skinny arms, big feet, some clothes just look daft.
 
It's the same with men, pot belly, moobs, twig legs, stumpy legs, skinny arms, big feet, some clothes just look daft.
Sounds like you are spending too much time hanging around the circus.... 🤣🤣🤣
 
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I feel sorry for the Co-op staff, who decided that bell bottoms on female staff look OK. There's a couple of pretty girls work in my local co-op. But the uniforms are dire.
Who picks this stuff.
Head of purchasing uniforms is drab and munterish, Let's make all the staff look the same. :rotfl:

I have to say at the last plumbing company i managed at, I banned the hoodie and the awful fitting polo shirts. The staff looked either like tramps or muggers.
 
I still remember going to the South of France for the first time. I must have been 12 / 13 and upon walking on to the beach, didn’t know where to look! It was just boobs in every direction :laugh:

yeah, when i was in germany for my placement (late 90s) - i went to see my mate (little town near the danish border) and we went to an outdoor pool, and this absolute stunner just took her top off in front of me and was topless...!
 
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Going by some of the quotes I've had from plumbers, they are muggers :D
I do it in broad daylight.
With a nice clean uniform on, mind.


This remind me of a argument me and a friend had about costings and price. Him and his wife are perennial moaners when it comes to trades. They seem to think, the money exchanged is equivalent to a wage. I said it wasn't, it's a business and as such, I personally monetise all aspects of it.
 
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That's Network Rail surely. :rotfl:

Anyhow, something that came to my attention last week on a bus was when an old Australian who was rather loud (surprising as that may seem) was saying to a friend in the seat next to him...



It was one of those things you hear when you end up thinking "d'you know, you're quite right".

These days, very few ladies bare chests at the beach compared to the noughties when it was so commonplace you'd think you were in the south of France.

In contrast, what is commonplace now, particularly with the younger set, is the minimal clothing worn down south which on occasions is so minuscule they may as well have not bothered.

On a hot day on a walk along the promenade it's very distracting and I imagine if you were riding a cycle you might well fall off.

But it's an interesting dichotomy. No longer boldly exposing the bare flesh on the top deck but far more liberal downstairs.

So I wonder what has contributed to this seismic shift in behaviour: something somewhere must have triggered this cultural change - thoughts anyone?

We were on the beach nearly every day for the last two weeks at Studland Bay. Only once did anyone mention seeing a topless lady. Agree that the young ladies bikinis do leave little to the imagination. Saw a few Cruise ships sitting out in the bay and the RAF parachuted a few troops in to be rescued by the SBS I think. Just added the last parts in case anyone thought I was being sexist. :laugh:
 
I still remember going to the South of France for the first time. I must have been 12 / 13 and upon walking on to the beach, didn’t know where to look! It was just boobs in every direction :laugh:

I suffered the same on an exchange trip but it was much worse because there was full nudity everywhere.

Disgusting.

A few days after getting back from the South of France I was eager to find out if there would be further exchange trips.
 
Stupid head spice girlfriend.

Big mahooosive spider on the ceiling.
I went to rescue spider after she asked me to.
Said spider dropped off somewhere, old spice head said oh my god it's on your shoulder.

Cue me jerking and leaping around hitting my shoulder.😂😂
 

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