Simon and Melanie had only been married for two weeks.
Simon, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and
party with his old buddies. So, he said to Mel,
"Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, coochycooh?" asked Mel.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."
Mel said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the
refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
Simon didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of
saying was, "Yes, lollypop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen
glasses..."
He didn't get to finish the sentence, because Mel interrupted him by
saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug
out
of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
Simon, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they
have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long,
I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5
dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets,
mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty
words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, D*ckhead? Drink your f***ing beer in your goddamn
frozen mug and eat your motherf***ing snacks, because you are married now,and you aren't going anywhere! Got it, ***hole?"
Good luck mate