Why?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by GaryB19722010, Jun 21, 2015.

  1. GaryB19722010

    GaryB19722010
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    Sorry all for starting a pointless thread, but I lost my dad at 04.40 this morning and I have no words on what to do next. I have two young kids, 8 and 4 who loved him to bits and trying to break the news today was torture, now I have to "man up" and try and move on, that's it really!!! Love the forum but may need to take some time out....
     
  2. PSM1

    PSM1
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    Sorry to hear your sad news. I assume it was sudden and I suspect he was not that old either given the age of your kids. This can make it harder to come to terms with. We may feel we need to 'man up' but no one would blame you for a little cry I am sure. Use your family to help support you through this difficult time as I am sure you will try to support them.
     
  3. Naaktgeboren

    Naaktgeboren
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    Not pointless at all @GaryB19722010 , if it was important enough for you to type then it has purpose. Sorry to hear about this terrible news, I understand why you posted, its good to let it out, we are all here for you :)
     
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  4. BB3Lions

    BB3Lions
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    Never pointless on AVF.

    Sincerely condolences on your loss.

    Time to mourn is critical.
     
  5. GaryB19722010

    GaryB19722010
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    Thanks and I have read through your thread and right now respect to you I hope you and your family get through it but for me today it's been traumatic, but thanks all time to sign out for some peace...
     
  6. arenaman

    arenaman
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    I feel for you fella, our family had 3 losses in a few months in 2013, you just have to look after the family, take whatever support and help you get can get from friends and family and get through it in your own way. Good luck and try to be strong.
     
  7. kav

    kav
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    Condolences on your dad's passing Gary. My wife had her first father's day without her dad today, she and the kids gave me a lovely day but it was bittersweet for her. We know how you feel about having to break the news, our three loved their grandpa to bits and even today, almost two months later, were crying because he wasn't around.
     
  8. Trollslayer

    Trollslayer
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    Not pointless, we all need to reach out at some point.
    We will be here when you need us.
    Condolences to you and your family. :(
     
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  9. HouseTonyStark

    HouseTonyStark
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    condolences to you Gary, but if i might say: 'manning up' and moving on, is total bull plop. You need to grieve the way that works best for you, you want to cry, then cry. If anything the ability to emote has been somewhat lost the last few years, and real strength comes from being able to show those around you that you can work through your pain.

    obviously i understand the need to be strong for the little ones, but don't let that cause you to neglect yourself. I think everyone on AVF has made it clear that they are 100% here for you, and i include myself in that.
     
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  10. Suave

    Suave
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    Hi,

    My sincere condolences to you & your family Gary - it must be a very painful & difficult thing you are going through but as others have stated, please take the time to grieve in your way - do not bottle things up or try to stay stoic all the time - grieving is part of the process & I would not want you to neglect your health by keeping everything inside.

    You Dad sounds like he was a wonderful Father & Grandfather - if you can & are able to and if/when the grieving might subside a little from time to time, that you can also celebrate his life & what a great guy he was.

    Suave.
     
  11. DrPhil

    DrPhil
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    Sorry for your loss Gary.

    We lost my wife's uncle a few months back. That doesn't sound very close, but he essentially raised her when her parents didn't.

    2 months later we still miss him and are constantly reminded of him.

    Remember all the good times, we found comfort in the fond memories we have.
     
  12. paulyoung666

    paulyoung666
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    Sorry to hear this :( , give me a shout if you want to talk ....
     
  13. Mr_Wistles

    Mr_Wistles
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    Sorry to hear this Sir, talking is the best remedy. We are all here.
     
  14. addyb

    addyb
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    Sorry for your loss. I lost my mum close to 2 years ago and I'm only just starting to get my life back together. Its an experience I wouldn't wish on anyone. Don't worry about being a wreck right now. You will be ok but it takes time.
     
  15. GaryB19722010

    GaryB19722010
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    Thanks to all that replied, I'm now glad I posted. I lost my mam to a brain aneurysm 4 years ago and now my dad which looks to be a heart attack I'll find out more today when he's had his post mortem, again a big thanks to all, this is one great forum
     
  16. GaryB19722010

    GaryB19722010
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    I'm genuinely thankful to all
     
  17. blue max

    blue max
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    Again, adding my condolences Gary,
    Whatever you do, don't lose touch with the forum. There are some great people on here and the support is truly amazing.
    It genuinely is helpful to just get stuff down in writing.
    Losing a loved one is incredible hard and painful, especially in your situation. But kids are remarkably resilient. I remember losing my grandfather and although I loved him, barely shed a tear. Strange really.
    Hope the days get easier for you.
     
  18. GaryB19722010

    GaryB19722010
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    The pain was watching him sat in his chair, gone but seemingly asleep, I'll get there, thanks again
     
  19. The Dude

    The Dude
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    Sorry for your sad news Gary. I've been there with the 'sitting in his chair' moment and while it all cuts to the bone right now (why?!?), in a short time you'll start to come to peace with things.

    When me and my brothers got around to talking about 'the end' we all agreed that sitting at home in his favourite chair would have been Dad's perfect ending. :)
     
  20. Insanity202

    Insanity202
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    Sorry for your loss Gary.
    We are all here for you if you need to talk.
     
  21. Kailash

    Kailash
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    sorry to hear about this, take care, we're with you
     
  22. wilbanat

    wilbanat
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    Truly sorry for your loss, just hope that the coming days and weeks go as smoothly as they can for you and your family.
    My only advise is to keep busy, get stuff done and don't forget to cry, scream and shout when you need to.
    Hope your kids are okay, they are normally stronger than us when it comes to things like this.

    Hope you stick around the forums, it does help to talk ;)
     
  23. k17chy

    k17chy
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    Sorry for your loss. It will be tough, I know as we are going through it now with the recent loss of our lasses mother. My thoughts are with you and your family.
     
  24. GaryB19722010

    GaryB19722010
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    Wow blown away, none of you know me personally and still your kind replies are helping me, just found out he had a acute heart failure due to an undiagnosed heart condition, now for the admin side cheers all really do appreciate your supper hats of to you all..
     
  25. Derkster

    Derkster
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    Just sat here in a suit and black tie as I am on my way to my wife's nans funeral whom she was very very close too

    I feel for you, I really do. Have a cry, go and have your own time, and believe it or not your kids will get you through it. They are truly resilient.
     
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  26. Donnacha

    Donnacha
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    My condolences to you and your family Gary, it will be tough no doubt for you all! No "manning up" required, you should mourn and grieve as you need to....support and be strong for each other. AVF folks will always help you through as well!!
     
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  27. bodoman

    bodoman
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    My condolences to you and your family, like many others on here i have lost too many family members long before their time, so we all know what you are going through, and if it helps to unload on here, you will find everyone will understand your grief.
     
  28. gibbsy

    gibbsy
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    I echo every thing that has been said along with offering my own condolences. I lost my father several years ago at the good age of 91. Still miss him and his funny little ways but I have great memories which no doubt you also have. Think of those to help you get through this horrible time.
     
  29. WeegyAVLover

    WeegyAVLover
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    Really sorry to hear your news. As you can see people on AVF are here to share your burden in any small way we can.
     
  30. Rorifett

    Rorifett
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    Sorry to read this today Gary, take care of yourselves, don't worry about being upset, nothing wrong with it at all and it's much better to get things out than bottle things up. You only have to read about Harry's thread to see there are many of us here welling up over things, you've no need to man up whatsoever.
     
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