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Why do some people make it horrible for you when you work with them ?

bosque

Distinguished Member
It's even worse when they're your manager. Where I worked virtually everyone was a manager apart from the clerical staff and nearly everyone had someone who was their manager. A long time ago when I was a junior manager I had a horrible bloke for a manager called Barry. He was even shorter than me which seemed to upset him but not as short as his manager who was not only the shortest person in the department but was also almost comically horrible.

Barry's manager was Portugese and was called the "malignant midget" by people who hated him, which was everybody including even his boss who hated him more than anyone else. People hated him because working for him was like having a horrible disease. The malignant midget's very senior boss was well over six foot and very friendly to nearly everyone apart from the people who thought he was useless at his job.

Naturally the malignant midget has done very well for himself and I notice he appears on TV during emergency situations, speaking as the expert the TV stations have to go to for a comment.

Anyway, as I say my boss was Barry. He was an ex-buddhist monk who was gay. Nobody cared that he was gay and there were loads of other gay guys in the building. There were so many gay guys on one floor, people used to say you had to be gay to get a job there or at least pretend to be one. I don't know how that worked and didn't want to know. I never worked on that floor anyway.

What a lot of people didn't like about Barry was he could be horrible but only to people of a lower grade than him.

Even though I lived the furthest from the office, I used to arrive early so I could leave early. One day about 8 am a fax was coming through on the machine. I didn't bother looking at it because it wasn't my job to fetch and carry peoples' faxes. Barry came in and was obviously in a bad mood, it was probably too early for him because he usually turned up after 10 o'clock. He noticed the fax and said, "Well how long has that fax been there ?"

I said, "I wouldn't know, mate." He said, well it's for me. I shrugged and looked away. Leaving the fax in the machine, he came over and said, "Why have you left it in the machine ?" I couldn't be bothered to answer and stood up to walk away. He stepped in front of me and looking up at me he said, "I'm your manager." I just looked at him and tried to stop smiling. I said, "Yeah, I know."

There was nobody else in the room. He said, "Is the reason you won't bring me the fax because I'm gay ?" I said, no it's because I don't have to, if I had to I would. I couldn't care what he did in his private life so long as he didn't frighten the horses (an old joke). He was going very red in the face which was unusual because he usually looked as white as a corpse. He said he was going to have a word with Ferdinand (the malignant midget).

Nothing happened of course although he continued to be horrible to work with. A few weeks after he moved to another office, I was at a party and talking to a friend. He said, "Do you know Barry ?" I said, "Yeah, he was horrible to work with because he could be a right - " I said a rude word with a heavy emphasis on the first letter. I said he also had a scraggly beard which made him even more horrible, if that was possible. My friend gestured with his chin and I looked round. Barry was standing right behind me. He said, "Oh, isn't that music noisy, you can't hear yourself think." Then he quickly moved away to talk to someone else, looking upset. I laughed.

I say all this because a lot of people make it awful to work with them. When they leave they are often replaced by someone who is a much nicer person, I don't know why it works out like that but it very often does. They make it much harder to do the job properly because you spend a lot of time hating having to work with them. With nicer people I find I am much better at my job because I don't spend any time thinking about then and can get on with the job and am nearly always happy.

In my last few years I worked with very senior people who were nearly always very good to work with because they were rarely horrible to people. But even though I liked the work a lot and was very busy indeed at times, I have never once regretted not working there because you never knew when you would get somebody who would decide to be horrible to everyone below their grade.

I much preferred working on the roads for the local council but I got ill and had to leave and get a job in an office.
 

bosque

Distinguished Member
How do you find the time to write all of those annual reports ? Do they all come round at the same time of the year.
 

shodan

Distinguished Member
I think whining gossips are pretty horrible to work with, and I'd rather have one as one of my managers than one of my staff...
 

bosque

Distinguished Member
Normal people don't walk past fax machines and then sprint across 50 feet of office space to ask you why you haven't picked up an unimportant piece of paper and brought it to them. Especially when they know it's a job you don't have to do because management pays another guy much less money to do it. A crazy person is someone who does that. He now has a very important job.
 

bosque

Distinguished Member
I think whining gossips are pretty horrible to work with, and I'd rather have one as one of my managers than one of my staff...

They can do far more damage to other people's careers if they're managers. And usually they only whine if they are not kept busy.
 

[email protected]

Prominent Member
Got to say that I read that and actually surprised that you find other people horrible.

"Even though I lived the furthest from the office, I used to arrive early so I could leave early."

So the company and the bosses allowed you that flexibility? - Barstewards the lot of them

" One day about 8 am a fax was coming through on the machine. I didn't bother looking at it because it wasn't my job to fetch and carry peoples' faxes."

How did you not know it wasn't for you. Personally if I had seen it I would have picked it up and passed it on - how much work is that? How did you know it wasn't important?

"Barry came in and was obviously in a bad mood, it was probably too early for him because he usually turned up after 10 o'clock."

Did Barry have any meetings with senior management prior to turning up? Did you run his diary? Maybe the flexibility that the company offered you in work times also applied to him

" He noticed the fax and said, "Well how long has that fax been there ?"

To be honest he could have checked the receipt time but still to a point a valid comment

I said, "I wouldn't know, mate." He said, well it's for me. I shrugged and looked away. Leaving the fax in the machine, he came over and said, "Why have you left it in the machine ?" I couldn't be bothered to answer and stood up to walk away. He stepped in front of me and looking up at me he said, "I'm your manager." I just looked at him and tried to stop smiling. I said, "Yeah, I know."

No idea, where to start with how much is wrong with this. You shrugged and looked away. You couldn't be bothered? Smug response?

"There was nobody else in the room. He said, "Is the reason you won't bring me the fax because I'm gay ?" I said, no it's because I don't have to, if I had to I would. I couldn't care what he did in his private life so long as he didn't frighten the horses (an old joke). "

I had to look up that 'old joke' and to be honest its bloody offensive and actually shows to me that you do have a problem. I would say that you are right and that people can be horrible to work with but you are part of the problem and not in any way the solution.
 

ROBIN50N

Prominent Member
Got to say that I read that and actually surprised that you find other people horrible.

"Even though I lived the furthest from the office, I used to arrive early so I could leave early."

So the company and the bosses allowed you that flexibility? - Barstewards the lot of them

" One day about 8 am a fax was coming through on the machine. I didn't bother looking at it because it wasn't my job to fetch and carry peoples' faxes."

How did you not know it wasn't for you. Personally if I had seen it I would have picked it up and passed it on - how much work is that? How did you know it wasn't important?

"Barry came in and was obviously in a bad mood, it was probably too early for him because he usually turned up after 10 o'clock."

Did Barry have any meetings with senior management prior to turning up? Did you run his diary? Maybe the flexibility that the company offered you in work times also applied to him

" He noticed the fax and said, "Well how long has that fax been there ?"

To be honest he could have checked the receipt time but still to a point a valid comment

I said, "I wouldn't know, mate." He said, well it's for me. I shrugged and looked away. Leaving the fax in the machine, he came over and said, "Why have you left it in the machine ?" I couldn't be bothered to answer and stood up to walk away. He stepped in front of me and looking up at me he said, "I'm your manager." I just looked at him and tried to stop smiling. I said, "Yeah, I know."

No idea, where to start with how much is wrong with this. You shrugged and looked away. You couldn't be bothered? Smug response?

"There was nobody else in the room. He said, "Is the reason you won't bring me the fax because I'm gay ?" I said, no it's because I don't have to, if I had to I would. I couldn't care what he did in his private life so long as he didn't frighten the horses (an old joke). "

I had to look up that 'old joke' and to be honest its bloody offensive and actually shows to me that you do have a problem. I would say that you are right and that people can be horrible to work with but you are part of the problem and not in any way the solution.

You alrite barry?
 

AnimalOfAnarchy

Established Member
Some people can be a nightmare to work with. In my last workplace (which doesn't exist now, thank God), I had these horrible bosses who really thought they were the dog's ********, they absolutely loved doing their job of sweet F.A. and staying in the cafè downing so much coffee. Every single day, they just went there and just talked about absolutely nothing but crap. They must have stayed there for quite a few hours a day, no exaggeration, whilst everybody cleaned up after them and then they'd go up for two or three hours and do work.

Anyway, the reason why they were so horrible to work for were because 80% of people in this place were temporary wanting a permanent job and they used to dangle permanent contracts over everybody. Originally, I was told that after three months, they would put me on a permanent contract which was fine by me. However, three months came by and they just extended my temporary contract because I couldn't get enough people to sign up to their credit card scheme (ignoring the fact I could sell the most expensive chandeliers which is their priciest stuff in their store). So I signed the contract, wanting the permanent position so I tried harder. At this time, I found out most of the people were temporary and I also found out that a lot of people 'left' too so I should have seen it coming then but I didn't. Another three months came by and I knew I got more people to sign up for their stupid credit card but they found another excuse and extended my temporary contract. Three months came along and they extended my contract again only this time, they told me they'd make me permanent in the next contract. At this stage, needless to say, I didn't like the job anymore but I found it hard looking for other jobs at the time because I hardly had any experience so I worked at it but at the end of that contract, they said they'd let me go because they couldn't afford to keep me on (which is bulls**t) and said that I wasn't useful to them because I couldn't dish out their credit cards to customers. Surprise surprise, they've now shut down and shockingly, the people who lost their jobs there are much happier now with better jobs, me included so really, the place did me a favour in a strange way because if they didn't let me go when they did, I wouldn't have found this job I'm in now and I'm happier than ever now.

I've been working in this place for nine months now and I'm doing great. Working in this current place is brilliant, the managers and the supervisors treat you as equals and you can have a laugh with them. No crappy pressure to try and get people to sign up for credit cards and they actually praise you when you deserve it. One of the supervisors actually said to me that my last place made a mistake letting me go because "their loss is our gain", which was awesome to hear. All I really ask for in a workplace is to be treated with respect and kindness and I get both with everybody. Obviously you have the rough days where you just distance yourself a little because they're busy but other than that, I love where I am now.

Anyway, that's my life story done and dusted! :p but Bosque, is there more to the story than just that? Why was he so hated?
 

Trollslayer

Distinguished Member
Someone new at work has started playing stupid little power games.
Unfortunately people are comparing notes and raising it with the manager well before the end of his probationary period so hopefully he will get kicked out.
 

bosque

Distinguished Member
I had to look up that 'old joke' and to be honest its bloody offensive and actually shows to me that you do have a problem. I would say that you are right and that people can be horrible to work with but you are part of the problem and not in any way the solution.

I am grateful you have gone to a lot of trouble to reply but most of your points can be answered in one sentence.

Before I do so I will just say even Barry didn't find that old joke offensive although it was some time ago we were working together so even he might have found his views have matured now and like you he now finds childish jokes unfunny. He used to crack up when I dragged that one out of the closet, as it were.

This was all few years ago when it was the job of clerical staff to fetch and carry faxes even when the clericals were housed in another room far away three floors up. The fax machine was kept in the the higher management room and some of the higher management could stretch their arm to pick up a fax with their name on it. But to do that, they would have to look round and do something instead of staring out the window all day.

This is why I say they were horrible to work with although you appear to find that soft of behaviour perfectly acceptable :nono:. Good luck with that attitude.
 
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bosque

Distinguished Member
You alrite barry?

It could only be Barry if he has learned how to spell even simple words since I last had to put up with his appalling manner of dealing with his fellow human beings.

And the grammar is of a quality way above Barry's skill-set :).
 

Steve McQueef

Distinguished Member
I work for The Home Office.

Petty little power struggles and dealing with closet tyrants, is a day to day thing for me. Been off work for the last week, housesitting for my parents and I'm dreading going back tomorrow, as I know there'll be the usual condescending emails and other crap, that I pretend not to care about, but erodes at your soul over time.
 

bosque

Distinguished Member
I work for The Home Office.

Petty little power struggles and dealing with closet tyrants, is a day to day thing for me. Been off work for the last week, housesitting for my parents and I'm dreading going back tomorrow, as I know there'll be the usual condescending emails and other crap, that I pretend not to care about, but erodes at your soul over time.

I know you would not be one of the horrible managers because your comments on The Master were of an intelligence the horrible ones would find impossible to "emulate".

That's supposed to be a compliment by the way, which I add only because it is possible to read sarcasm in any forum reply !
 

bosque

Distinguished Member
I'm reminded by a friend who worked with Barry that he was a very poor speller. My friend got most of his draft reports returned with red pen underlinings all the way through, most of it comically inaccurate "corrections" to the spelling.

I remember once sitting with him and objecting to having my spelling corrected by an illiterate. For example, Barry had somehow got it into his head the correct spelling of "rights" in "human rights legislation" should be spelled "rites". He fumed in silence, not saying a single word in reply and didn't talk to me for days, finally finding the time to make a joke about my then slight stutter. Something about "That's easy to for you to say !" shouted across a crowded room, which he found side-splitting.

I'm probably being unfair because by now he has almost certainly taught himself the correct spelling of very difficult words.
 
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Steve McQueef

Distinguished Member
I know you would not be one of the horrible managers because your comments on The Master were of an intelligence the horrible ones would find impossible to "emulate".

That's supposed to be a compliment by the way, which I add only because it is possible to read sarcasm in any forum reply !
Thanks, lol

I would never want to be a manager at my current job. Glorified administration assistants, micro-managed themselves, to within an inch of their lives. I actually like my boss, so feel bad when he has to tell me off for some meaningless nonsense, that people in the real world would laugh at.

How I've managed almost ten years, I'll never know.
 

Godric

Standard Member
Sometimes its just difficult to work with people, but just because you don't like someone doesn't/shouldn't stop you and others working with each other..

with regards to the fax, I am not being funny but why didn't you take it to him? I'm sorry saying 'its not my job' is a poor excuse and shows a lack of respect for the manger, It takes what 5 minutes of your time to hand it to him?..
 

bosque

Distinguished Member
Sometimes its just difficult to work with people, but just because you don't like someone doesn't/shouldn't stop you and others working with each other..

with regards to the fax, I am not being funny but why didn't you take it to him? I'm sorry saying 'its not my job' is a poor excuse and shows a lack of respect for the manger, It takes what 5 minutes of your time to hand it to him?..

I can see your point but one of the things Barry's manager made clear to me when I started the job was they were paying me quite a lot of money and that it was somebody else's job to deliver faxes. That person didn't get a very high salary because you don't need to pay someone a lot of money to fetch and carry a fax, particularly when they often have to leave their office three floors up, come down to a room where the higher management are and hand them a fax.

I always thought that was a good principle to go by when working.
 

bosque

Distinguished Member
Thanks, lol

I would never want to be a manager at my current job. Glorified administration assistants, micro-managed themselves, to within an inch of their lives. I actually like my boss, so feel bad when he has to tell me off for some meaningless nonsense, that people in the real world would laugh at.

How I've managed almost ten years, I'll never know.

But a lot of people on here seem to feel it is important to obey your manager when he asks you to hand him a fax from a fax machine he has walked past. Even if it was in my job description to fetch and carry faxes, which it wasn't, I would have found that behaviour annoying. Im astonished a lot of people seem to find me rude in deciding to ignore Barry's request.
 

bosque

Distinguished Member
Sometimes its just difficult to work with people, but just because you don't like someone doesn't/shouldn't stop you and others working with each other..

with regards to the fax, I am not being funny but why didn't you take it to him? I'm sorry saying 'its not my job' is a poor excuse and shows a lack of respect for the manger, It takes what 5 minutes of your time to hand it to him?..

I hoped you would see my response to your comment, though please don't feel you need to respond.
 

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