Why Bother?

keithwiggins

Well-known Member
I joined this esteem forum many years ago , but have started to become a regular contributor only really in the last 12 months. In the days of my misspent youth i worked as a manager in a high end hifi retailer and then went onto to work for several, non related electronics companies in several different managerial capacity's.

So in summary i know a bit about electronics and have kept up with both hifi and specifically my real interest AV.

Now i dont know about other regular contributors, but as a point of irritation i do find that more and more people are asking questions on this forum. I and others then try to give worthy answers, with no agenda and motivation other than to assist another forum member struggling with a conundrum.

So they ask we answer, they then do pretty much the complete bloody opposite to what we recommend. Or dont even bother to tell you what they have done/resolved etc. I must admit i have had it with family members also, so am beginning to realise it must be a facet of how we, or some are hard wired?

Ask a question seeking attention, get people on board to try and assist, ignore all the good knowledgeable advice and do the complete opposite. So why ask the question, i understand some people need affirmation, but to then do the opposite, to me make makes no sense.

Maybe thats it, most people dont have an ounce of it.

Ok beef over.
 

Derek S-H

Distinguished Member
Morning, I'm just off to bed!

I think you make some good and relevant points, but I also think that it's a case of offering something without necessarily expecting anything back?

I agree, it can be annoying when you make an effort to research something extensively, write up all your findings and then.....silence. It does seem rude and ungracious not to at least acknowledge a helpful response.

But I suspect that is the general nature of the Internet - people are thinking about getting their needs met and not thinking about the effort involved from others to meet those needs. And why should they? We are strangers and it's all a bit disconnected anyway.

I've been very grateful for your help with my B&O Stage - thank you!:)
 

Derek S-H

Distinguished Member
Perhaps we should all follow the legendary @BlueWizard - have you ever seen the length of his posts? The detail is staggering, but I think he enjoys doing all this work for people regardless of whether they follow his advice or not.
 

keithwiggins

Well-known Member
Morning, I'm just off to bed!

I think you make some good and relevant points, but I also think that it's a case of offering something without necessarily expecting anything back?

I agree, it can be annoying when you make an effort to research something extensively, write up all your findings and then.....silence. It does seem rude and ungracious not to at least acknowledge a helpful response.

But I suspect that is the general nature of the Internet - people are thinking about getting their needs met and not thinking about the effort involved from others to meet those needs. And why should they? We are strangers and it's all a bit disconnected anyway.

I've been very grateful for your help with my B&O Stage - thank you!:)
Your probably right.
 

ssbib

Distinguished Member
I find the opposite to be true at times: I ask a question and receive no answer whatsoever, or even an acknowledgement. Certain sections are more renowned for this than others in my opinion.
 

keithwiggins

Well-known Member
I find the opposite to be true at times: I ask a question and receive no answer whatsoever, or even an acknowledgement. Certain sections are more renowned for this than others in my opinion.
Must admit, not had that myself, most time folks have been great.
 

ssbib

Distinguished Member
Must admit, not had that myself, most time folks have been great.
Most times peeps are great with me too. This truly is the best forum I’ve ever been on. Every now and again though I’ll create a topic in a sub forum I don’t usually frequent, to ask for some advice or recommendations, and it gets a lot of views but not a single reply.
 

MaryWhitehouse

Active Member
It’s advice. Just because you offer it doesn’t mean it’s either right or right for the OP. If you’re here or on any forum for thanks then you’re definitely in the wrong place.
 

Flynch191

Active Member
Like you say. ‘ Beef over’
Now that’s off your chest.. I hope you’re feeling better.
I think what you are experiencing may not be what others are.
Are you expecting too much from what you are offerIng others?? Maybe don’t worry so much...

Remember as time and the world changes...people change to and the experience on this website and the internet in general will change. Not everyone shares the same views (See Covid posts🤪) so to expect a thank you (I know that’s common curtesy) might be too much in today’s world for some.
I’ve always found this forum to be nearly full (98%) of interesting and nice people. There’s always the odd few... maybe you have just been unlucky?
 

ssbib

Distinguished Member
It’s advice. Just because you offer it doesn’t mean it’s either right or right for the OP. If you’re here or on any forum for thanks then you’re definitely in the wrong place.
Manners cost nothing, even on the internet.
 

MaryWhitehouse

Active Member

ssbib

Distinguished Member
Very true but if you expect them you’ll be disappointed.
Why should I not expect a thank you from someone online if I’ve taken time out of my day to answer a question they’ve got? Just because you’re not sat in front of me doesn’t mean social niceties have to be abandoned.
 

MaryWhitehouse

Active Member
Because it’s unrealistic and produces a bad day only for you.
 

keithwiggins

Well-known Member
It’s advice. Just because you offer it doesn’t mean it’s either right or right for the OP. If you’re here or on any forum for thanks then you’re definitely in the wrong place.
I think you are wrong, i always thank anyone who has helped me on any level, so do actually expect peeps to do the same, its common courtesy, if the world has changed to the extent that people are too ignorant to give a thanks then there is something wrong with the world, not me.
 
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MaryWhitehouse

Active Member
I think you are wrong, i always thank anyone who has helped me on any level, so do actually expect peeps to do the same, its common courtesy, if the world has changed to the extent that people are too ignorant to give a thanks then there is something wrong with the world, not me. i
Then you will continue to be disappointed and not enjoy your time here.
What you’re suffering from is Golden Age Syndrome. We all develop it to some extent as we age. When we were younger our parents said exactly the same thing about us.
 

keithwiggins

Well-known Member
Then you will continue to be disappointed and not enjoy your time here.
What you’re suffering from is Golden Age Syndrome. We all develop it to some extent as we age. When we were younger our parents said exactly the same thing about us.
i fully enjoy my time here, thats not the the issue moreover it rarely ever bothers me, im just pointing out that people should be more courteous to people who help them.
 

DPinBucks

Distinguished Member
i fully enjoy my time here, thats not the the issue moreover it rarely ever bothers me, im just pointing out that people should be more courteous to people who help them.
Of course that's true, but it's not really what you were complaining about. Your beef was with people seeking your advice then not taking it.

But why should they? They're asking for advice, not instructions. How do you know that what you're advising is actually suitable for them? Maybe their circumstances have changed. Or (shock, horror) that they've been prudent, asked elsewhere for a second opinion and received different advice?

Admittedly, it would be courteous to reply and explain what they actually did and why, but simply doing "the complete bloody opposite" does not in my opinion justify a rant.
 

Ono

Well-known Member
Yeah, it's advice only. Like buying a car.

I try and help on the PC and gaming side of things but always know that, in this day and age, there is no real right or wrong as long as people get the end product that works.

It may not be the "best" option but if it suits the need then fair enough.
 

Sloppy Bob

Distinguished Member
Some of them don't even read the replies as you can see when they continue to ask questions that are already answered or they don't provide the information you've asked for multiple times to help them with their issue.

What annoys me is when they drip-feed information, treating it like some kind of secret that you only get the answers to if you ask exactly the right question and they're the ones looking for help. It's usually as they're so excited to be buying something new and shiny and getting involved in all the tech or whatever they blindly barge one.

It's just the nature of both people and social media in general.

Also, people are quite often looking for justification for what they've done or bought or confirmation of what they already know.

For the latter, have a look at any thread titled "Is this a scam?/Have I been scammed?"
The answer is always yes and it's completely obvious.
 

keithwiggins

Well-known Member
Some of them don't even read the replies as you can see when they continue to ask questions that are already answered or they don't provide the information you've asked for multiple times to help them with their issue.

What annoys me is when they drip-feed information, treating it like some kind of secret that you only get the answers to if you ask exactly the right question and they're the ones looking for help. It's usually as they're so excited to be buying something new and shiny and getting involved in all the tech or whatever they blindly barge one.

It's just the nature of both people and social media in general.

Also, people are quite often looking for justification for what they've done or bought or confirmation of what they already know.

For the latter, have a look at any thread titled "Is this a scam?/Have I been scammed?"
The answer is always yes and it's completely obvious.
lol yes read the have i been scammed, post.
 

keithwiggins

Well-known Member
Of course that's true, but it's not really what you were complaining about. Your beef was with people seeking your advice then not taking it.

But why should they? They're asking for advice, not instructions. How do you know that what you're advising is actually suitable for them? Maybe their circumstances have changed. Or (shock, horror) that they've been prudent, asked elsewhere for a second opinion and received different advice?

Admittedly, it would be courteous to reply and explain what they actually did and why, but simply doing "the complete bloody opposite" does not in my opinion justify a rant.
get that, peeps seem t
Yeah, it's advice only. Like buying a car.

I try and help on the PC and gaming side of things but always know that, in this day and age, there is no real right or wrong as long as people get the end product that works.

It may not be the "best" option but if it suits the need then fair enough.
get that, but why ask the question, and illicit answers if you have already decided to go a rather than b, its just wasting peoples time?
as an example the other day someone was asking should i get better speakers for my 5.1 system or get a soundbar, which is best, myself and about 5 other people advised get better speakers for a better soundsystem as a soundbar will not be as good ( given the budget) outcome after all the advice, great will get the soundbar. No problems with that, but why ask, it makes no sense, if thats your plan why involve others and ask the questions.
I suppose i should retitle it timewasters to be far more accurate.
 

MaryWhitehouse

Active Member
I suppose i should retitle it timewasters to be far more accurate.
How are they time wasters? You choose to spend time answering questions and giving an opinion.
 

keithwiggins

Well-known Member
How are they time wasters? You choose to spend time answering questions and giving an opinion.
i am trying to help them, when really they dont probably need techical help more likely phycological, they are timewasting, yes i choose to help them, so i can either do so or not, not is looking the hot favourite.
 

MaryWhitehouse

Active Member
i am trying to help them, when really they dont probably need techical help more likely phycological,
Goodness we do have a high opinion of ourselves don’t we!
 

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