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Who looks more humiliated?

NeverEden

Distinguished Member
So lets say there's someone on the train who's bag keeps bumping into someone else's face.
The person then politely requests that he minds himself and your face. But the man does not react well to this and is either rude or loud or aggressive, or all 3 !


Who would you think looks more humiliated or who would you think looks worse off?

See I'd say the person who tried to be polite but got shot down looked like the weakling, whereas others maybe say the guy is the one with the problem.

As someone who works with therapy its interesting to see the different perspectives and self esteem issues people may have and reasons they may choose to get knocked by the bag rather than potentially albeit politely confront the situation due to the humiliation they may feel if it doesn't work out
 

Iccz

Distinguished Member
So lets say there's someone on the train who's bag keeps bumping into someone else's face.
The person then politely requests that he minds himself and your face. But the man does not react well to this and is either rude or loud or aggressive, or all 3 !


Who would you think looks more humiliated or who would you think looks worse off?

See I'd say the person who tried to be polite but got shot down looked like the weakling, whereas others maybe say the guy is the one with the problem.

As someone who works with therapy its interesting to see the different perspectives and self esteem issues people may have and reasons they may choose to get knocked by the bag rather than potentially albeit politely confront the situation due to the humiliation they may feel if it doesn't work out

It depends on the individual, the state of humiliation is entirely subjective and some people might be humiliated in certain situations more than others. By the sounds of it the quiet individual who was being knocked in the face was probably more humiliated by the obnoxious loud individual who probably enjoyed creating a scene.

On the other hand, the quiet person may have thought it was hilarious how much of a scene the other person made about something they were at fault with and feels no humiliation at all.

It's hard to judge the scenario based on descriptions though. But the obnoxious person sounds more embarrassing to me.
 

Phil57

Well-known Member
The person being knocked in the face would look worse off surly, ...............bruising or scratches perhaps!:devil:
 

W0LFIE

Well-known Member
So lets say there's someone on the train who's bag keeps bumping into someone else's face.
The person then politely requests that he minds himself and your face. But the man does not react well to this and is either rude or loud or aggressive, or all 3 !


Who would you think looks more humiliated or who would you think looks worse off?

See I'd say the person who tried to be polite but got shot down looked like the weakling, whereas others maybe say the guy is the one with the problem.

As someone who works with therapy its interesting to see the different perspectives and self esteem issues people may have and reasons they may choose to get knocked by the bag rather than potentially albeit politely confront the situation due to the humiliation they may feel if it doesn't work out

It was you wasn't it...it's ok...you can tell us.....we understand:love::love:
 

NeverEden

Distinguished Member
It has happened to me in the past but I remember staying quiet only because it was a packed train and the person wasnt English speaking so may have not understood and I was about to get off in a few stops!
 
D

Deleted member 51156

Guest
The bag guy looks like a plank, I have in the past asked people to shift bags off the spare seat so I could sit down..

I once removed my rucksack from the overhead luggage storage on a train, in doing so I dislodged an umbrella which then fell and smacked a very attractive young lady in the face....:blush::laugh:
 

captainarchive

Distinguished Member
It has happened to me in the past but I remember staying quiet only because it was a packed train and the person wasnt English speaking so may have not understood and I was about to get off in a few stops!
I think you've done your country a dis-service. You should have piped up and pointed out to the non English speaker their wrong doing; otherwise they might think it's an acceptable form of behaviour to bash bags in peoples faces.
 

baldrick

Well-known Member
I think you've done your country a dis-service. You should have piped up and pointed out to the non English speaker their wrong doing; otherwise they might think it's an acceptable form of behaviour to bash bags in peoples faces.
If they failed to understand you would simply have increased the loudness of your voice and used more animated hand movements!
 

baldrick

Well-known Member
So lets say there's someone on the train who's bag keeps bumping into someone else's face.
The person then politely requests that he minds himself and your face. But the man does not react well to this and is either rude or loud or aggressive, or all 3 !


Who would you think looks more humiliated or who would you think looks worse off?

See I'd say the person who tried to be polite but got shot down looked like the weakling, whereas others maybe say the guy is the one with the problem.

As someone who works with therapy its interesting to see the different perspectives and self esteem issues people may have and reasons they may choose to get knocked by the bag rather than potentially albeit politely confront the situation due to the humiliation they may feel if it doesn't work out

Why would they look/feel humiliated? The bag owner might look like a right **** and the person who actually commented would have my respect because many would have just tolerated it and said nothing.

Now as someone who always likes to have an anecdote I worked with an individual who was quite a large lady ie 6' something tall and a good 17+ stone. She was on a train and some guy hopped on with his rucksack on and kept knocking into her. Not one to let such an instance pass without comment she turned to the bag owner and said "I'm 6'2 and 17 stone how can you not see me standing here". In another instance she was sitting on a train and the person opposite had their headphones in but running at a volume where all around can hear. She calmly leaned over, plucked out his headphones, said "it's called a personal stereo for a ****ing reason" and popped the headphones back in....
 

Desmo

Distinguished Member
Probably a mix of both. Bag guy looks a muppet and face guy looks a pussy :)
 

BomoLad

Well-known Member
So lets say there's someone on the train who's bag keeps bumping into someone else's face.
The person then politely requests that he minds himself and your face. But the man does not react well to this and is either rude or loud or aggressive, or all 3 !

Both
 

wolverine73

Active Member
The guy on the receiving end is the one who in that situation is humiliated - first the bag in the face, then when he tries to sort the issue out he gets shouted at.
Any onlookers would judge that the same too on the spur of the moment.

However,when the dust settles the victim is safe in the knowledge that he is a decent person and the other guy is just an a**eh***.

Given time and on reflection all onlookers will see this too.

As for the a**eh*** - will probably never grow up so loses at life :lesson:
 

kevykat

Distinguished Member
i was at a Thin Lizzy gig a few years back. place was dead, naturally, anyway we were at the front. hardly anyone around us. One guy just HAD to start jumping about like a prick right behind me, kept bashing into me, scuffing my ankles with his feet. A few folk were getting ****** off with him. I first politely asked him to back off a bit, he ignored, said it a bit louder. Still nothing. my dad even said to they guy, look back of or he will smack you. That didn't work. he continued, so I ended up turning round grabbing him by the scruff and launched him across the floor. needless to say he buggered off and didnt bug anyone again.

Some times an aggressive approach is the only way some of the scum in todays society actually understands.
I have wasted years trying to talk to our Prick of a neighbour to sort things. I dare say if she got a good kickin the problem would possibly have stopped.

Not saying violence resolves every problem. But if a member of public is causing a nuisance and they ignore or belittle you in a disrespectful manner I usually go for the humorous approach to humiliate them in public if they have tried to on me already
 

alphaomega16

Distinguished Member
The bloke asked politely nobody should think nothing of him but how the bloke reacts is a different story, if he wants to be a dick then so be it.

The bloke could have done a number of different things like getting up in his face about the bag hitting him or just went and knifed him one (You never know these days) and to request someone to do something politely rather than giving attitude or just shouting to get the bag out of his face has my respect as most people I know would probably go off on one.
 

NeverEden

Distinguished Member
The guy on the receiving end is the one who in that situation is humiliated - first the bag in the face, then when he tries to sort the issue out he gets shouted at.
Any onlookers would judge that the same too on the spur of the moment.

However,when the dust settles the victim is safe in the knowledge that he is a decent person and the other guy is just an a**eh***.

Given time and on reflection all onlookers will see this too.

As for the a**eh*** - will probably never grow up so loses at life :lesson:

I think you are on the same lines as me, as the thing here is people may not say anything not because theyre scared of the person but the initial embarassment that may happen as a consequence
 

Ste7en

Distinguished Member
Now as someone who always likes to have an anecdote I worked with an individual who was quite a large lady ie 6' something tall and a good 17+ stone. She was on a train and some guy hopped on with his rucksack on and kept knocking into her. Not one to let such an instance pass without comment she turned to the bag owner and said "I'm 6'2 and 17 stone how can you not see me standing here". In another instance she was sitting on a train and the person opposite had their headphones in but running at a volume where all around can hear. She calmly leaned over, plucked out his headphones, said "it's called a personal stereo for a ****ing reason" and popped the headphones back in....

... then he chopped the Kingslayer's right hand off :)

I think the guy with the bag looked like the pratt. But that is wrong with society these days. Be polite and respectful and you are a pussy. Be a knob = hero!

Mind, if it was a ballbag I'd have shived him :)
 

Desmo

Distinguished Member
But that is wrong with society these days. Be polite and respectful and you are a pussy.
If you're referring to my comment, that's not what I said.

Being polite is always the first option but when that gets ignored, what do you do? If you stand there and continue to get smacked in the head with a bag and take it you're going to look a bit of a wet lettuce :rolleyes:
 

Desmo

Distinguished Member
Cool, just that I think I'm the only one to use the word pussy so thought you were picking up on my comment :)
 

baldrick

Well-known Member

baldrick

Well-known Member
Being polite is always the first option but when that gets ignored, what do you do? If you stand there and continue to get smacked in the head with a bag and take it you're going to look a bit of a wet lettuce :rolleyes:
What do you do though? Ask nicely then hit him and risk being arrested for assault? Keeping asking/get more assertive and get a good kicking/killed because they guy is unhinged and/or carrying a weapon of some sort?

As an extension of the OP question, you witness this and it starts to turn nasty, what do you do? Sink down in your seat, open your paper a little wider and pretend you're not there or jump up and help. Go a step further would your (re)action be different based on sex?

Guy on girl?
Girl on guy?
Girl on girl? (yes please, cat fight :devil:)

Would it be different based on who else was around? Attractive girl you sit near everyday who you could impress with an act of chivalry etc..?

Young red-blooded single guy vs father of a young family - different reactions maybe.

The more you think about it the more interesting a case study it becomes!
 

captainarchive

Distinguished Member
Keeping asking/get more assertive and get a good kicking/killed because they guy is unhinged and/or carrying a weapon of some sort?!
People need to grow a backbone and not live in fear. I straighten people out all the time. I got on a train yesterday from Leicester and these two lads were sitting with their feet up on the seats opposite, the only seats available and 3 people were standing in the carriage, I assume too frightened to say anything to the lads. I went up to them and asked them, politely, to put their feet down so I could sit down and they complied without fuss. Today I was walking home and noticed a woman walk up to a car at traffic lights where the driver had thrown out an empty packet of fags. She picked up the packet and threw it back through the open drivers side window and told the driver to take his litter with him. Both of us lived to tell the tale.
 

Desmo

Distinguished Member
He'll, even my wife, at under 5ft asks people to stand up on the tube old people or pregnant women. Far too much fear about what might happen these days.

As for the other questions above, yes, I'd be polite and get progressively firmer as the situation needed. I wouldn't let a bag continue to hit me in the face.
 

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