When you don't like your job ...

BB3Lions

Distinguished Member
I've worked myself into a well earned position that allows me to take my son to school, work from home, collect him in the afternoon. I get paid very well, I can do an hour or 100 hours a week, no one cares, & that is demotivating.

At my age (46) I'm at a pivot point & I need to push myself to keep motivated before I become unemployable due to my age. I've had a great selection of jobs, made some difficult decisions that impacted my career but my mental wellbeing has always been more important.

Now more than ever I'm so afraid about the future.
 

DPinBucks

Distinguished Member
Back to the original post & question:

Try putting yourself in the position of the people interviewing you for your next job. They will ask you about your employment history; why you want to move now after just 3 months, and why you left your previous employer.

I'm afraid you're not going to sound very convincing as to staying power. Your own reasons may be perfectly sensible, and you may well be able to communicate that to your interviewer, but if it were me I'd have to ask whether you really know your own mind. Your statement about going back to your previous employer is revealing in that regard (and don't assume they'd necessarily be glad to have you back, either, for the same reasons).

Unless you really are very unhappy at the moment, I suggest you stick it out for at least a year before considering moving on.
 

Derek S-H

Distinguished Member
I've worked myself into a well earned position that allows me to take my son to school, work from home, collect him in the afternoon. I get paid very well, I can do an hour or 100 hours a week, no one cares, & that is demotivating.

At my age (46) I'm at a pivot point & I need to push myself to keep motivated before I become unemployable due to my age. I've had a great selection of jobs, made some difficult decisions that impacted my career but my mental wellbeing has always been more important.

Now more than ever I'm so afraid about the future.
Awww, BB, don't be afraid!

At least you're not 16 with the threat of knife crime, automation, Higher Education debt, climate change and the potential to be stuck with your parents for the rest of your life because of housing unaffordability hanging over you.

I just had to fill out an online survey about nuclear attacks - whether I'm prepared, what I would do, how I'd like to be informed and whether it would actually happen. It was all rather surreal because it's something I have no control over, so why worry about it?

I admit that it is very easy to slip through the safety net in this culture and fall out of mainstream society, but as I've got older I've really stopped worrying about the future. I am older than you (54) so that may be a factor, or it could be that I feel closer to the end than the beginning so I'm just making the most of actually being alive.

I think that's one of many reasons why I feel so resentful about having to work because I don't know how much longer I've got left and I really don't want to waste it on crap I hate.
 

BB3Lions

Distinguished Member
Same here.
Martin Luther King Jr said it well;

"If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward"

"Age is but just a number", unless you've kids, mortgage, debts then it's crippling.
 

Ruperts slippers

Distinguished Member
I'm just about to relaunch my business. Post divorce I took a job for steady income reasons, now I feel ready to go it alone again. I'm effectively a single parent, on the one hand I have 2 children who I have to provide for both physically and mentally, on the other I have a job which like most employed positions does not provide the flexibility I need to be a parent. Nor indeed have a life, there's always a conflict of interest.

Working for my-self for over a decade, gave me freedom, working for a company the employer has a sense of ownership, I don't like it, its driving me mad. I have very little autonomy to make decisions. I don't want to listen to a lecture because I'm 10mins late after dropping my kids off at school club or because I'd like to finish on time.
The time has come to leave.

One of my biggest life regrets is working in construction, never enjoyed being employed, self employment was better, away from the inane "Bants-hyper masculinity-general oafishness of your average construction worker", that includes management.
 

Ruperts slippers

Distinguished Member
@Ruperts slippers best of luck, i wish i had kept mine instead of selling it on.

What's the line of business?
It will be Plumbing and Heating, from tap washers-bathrooms-heating.
Bathrooms I mainly project manage, the heating, I quite like the larger systems with underfloor and eco technologies etc. Although a run of tiny calls out can soon bring the money in. Two days of call outs is equivalent to a weekly employed rate.

Plus if the girlfriend- friends wants to do something off the cuff or if I want to surprise the kids or have them an extra day, I can. I live with a wealthy race horse owner, she often asks me to go racing, Vip treatment etc, etc, I cant go, I'm tied to 8-5, god forbid I ask for a day off.
I had a serious bout of Pneumonia a few yrs ago, this means every yr I generally struggle with really bad chest infections once or twice a yr, after time off I receive a 60 min back to work lecture..
Ten people left my company last yr out of 15 staff, the director just says they weren't good enough. That's funny they seem to be doing ok now they're away from here, so stifling.

Most of all I can represent my company and make the relationships with people, I can control and make decisions with customers, I'm not a third party.
 

Basinguy

Active Member
Unless you really are very unhappy at the moment, I suggest you stick it out for at least a year before considering moving on.
I think you've got it spot on there, i'm sure im not the first nor will i be the last person in the world to realise their change in jobs wasn't such a smart move.

My issue with my current job isn't that its horrible, its a nice place to work, the people are a bit miserable but i'm not there to make bestest buddies. My main issue is that its a fairly big jump from where i came from and i'm not sure i can handle it. I was completely honest during interviews that i wasn't the cleverest person in the world, but i have some good experience and a keen attitude to learn, that seemed important to them hence they offered me the job. Since i've been there i've been handed a huge amount of responsibility for a product and an industry i am not familiar with, and being asked to make decisions i'm not comfortable making, has me worked up.
 

BB3Lions

Distinguished Member
@Nerox i'd suggest speaking to your recruiter/HR, whomever interviewed you where you explained your concerns & say your not getting the support you require/need a mentor to be able to achieve what is expected of you. Empowerment is key to taking on new responsibilities, but remember, if they didn't think you could do it, they would not have employed you.
 

Cobb

Distinguished Member
I hate my job. But I like the majority of my colleagues. I’ve been here 10yrs and in May I face redundancy for the 3rd time in 4yrs, I think this time it will be my time to go. I have enough savings to pay the bills for a year but redundancy does scare me, even though I hate the job. Institutionalised maybe.

I’ve never been career-minded and I have no idea what I want to do for future employment. I’ve been far too complacent, it’s been a job that pays the bills and is only 1.5miles away from home, I’ve gotten comfortable with being unhappy here which is actually quite sad.

I’m both excited and terrified about the whole thing really.
 
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One of my biggest life regrets is working in construction, never enjoyed being employed, self employment was better, away from the inane "Bants-hyper masculinity-general oafishness of your average construction worker", that includes management.
I don't blame you! A few houses down are having an extension and the young apprentices have a sh*t time... in the good name of banter!! A few weeks back when it was really cold, one of them had a barrel of cold water poured over him, they constantly get things thrown at them and a couple of days ago their backpacks were placed high up in a tree meaning they left the site 45 minutes after the other guys and they'd managed to retrieve them.

Seriously wonder why they bother!
 

Delvey

Distinguished Member
I disliked my old job, in the NHS, so went to Uni at a much older age than you usually would.
I graduated, and found a job local to me, decent enough money but with a 20 minute commute and decent hours.
I hate the thing, it is too quiet for me and I find the work boring.
Luckily I had my CV on linkedin, and have secured another role at a different firm (quite a large firm, with offices internationally). The pay is better, but I think the role will be more challenging, and it is in an area I find interesting. The only down side is the commute, which will be an hour each way (until we move closer)
 

stiv674

Well-known Member
I don't blame you! A few houses down are having an extension and the young apprentices have a sh*t time... in the good name of banter!! A few weeks back when it was really cold, one of them had a barrel of cold water poured over him, they constantly get things thrown at them and a couple of days ago their backpacks were placed high up in a tree meaning they left the site 45 minutes after the other guys and they'd managed to retrieve them.

Seriously wonder why they bother!
Larger building sites have changed dramatically over the last ten years or so, very little banter and general messing about like when I started in 1990, smaller sites like one off builds seem to changed less.

I had to put up with frequent verbal abuse but nothing physical of note.
 

MrFraggle

Distinguished Member
I don't blame you! A few houses down are having an extension and the young apprentices have a sh*t time... in the good name of banter!! A few weeks back when it was really cold, one of them had a barrel of cold water poured over him, they constantly get things thrown at them and a couple of days ago their backpacks were placed high up in a tree meaning they left the site 45 minutes after the other guys and they'd managed to retrieve them.

Seriously wonder why they bother!
I worked in the building trade most of my life and yes there was a degree of abuse for the main part it was great work and great mates, hard work in the winter when out would come the ladies tights which was acceptable, get you, but generally it was Okay and as for wondering why apprentices bothered, a good well paid job at the end of it and a chance to do unto others as had been done to them.
But as stiv674 says building sites have changed quite dramatically, not much banter unless you can speak Polish as they came over and were paid less than the Brits then the recession hit and guys left the industry now they struggle to find people who hare not afraid to A) get their Lilly white soft hands dirty and B) do a hard days graft.
 

Ruperts slippers

Distinguished Member
I don't blame you! A few houses down are having an extension and the young apprentices have a sh*t time... in the good name of banter!! A few weeks back when it was really cold, one of them had a barrel of cold water poured over him, they constantly get things thrown at them and a couple of days ago their backpacks were placed high up in a tree meaning they left the site 45 minutes after the other guys and they'd managed to retrieve them.

Seriously wonder why they bother!
Because they are basically dickheads, there's a big coke problem too. Honestly the inane nonsense I listen to on a daily basis is enough to depress even the hardiest of souls. The other point is, who on earth behaves like that in or a customers property.
 
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Ruperts slippers

Distinguished Member
I worked in the building trade most of my life and yes there was a degree of abuse for the main part it was great work and great mates, hard work in the winter when out would come the ladies tights which was acceptable, get you, but generally it was Okay and as for wondering why apprentices bothered, a good well paid job at the end of it and a chance to do unto others as had been done to them.
But as stiv674 says building sites have changed quite dramatically, not much banter unless you can speak Polish as they came over and were paid less than the Brits then the recession hit and guys left the industry now they struggle to find people who hare not afraid to A) get their Lilly white soft hands dirty and B) do a hard days graft.
That's the "Get darn pit mentality, hard-work lad", its just nonsense. No one should go to work to face abuse, the autocratic, hierarchical nature of the industry promotes this.
 

Chester

Well-known Member
Hey @Nerox, I think you're already on the right lines, sticking it out, having the right conversations with the right people, hopefully making the job more palatable. I don't think many people get to be in their ideal job for many reasons. Maybe they just can't think of anything they would gel with. Perhaps they do but then it's too late. I couldn't go through a major career change now, being a similar age to yourself, not for what I believe I really would enjoy doing. There's probably 5 years education/training for a 20 something, and my brain doesn't work as fast these days! Then again it never did!

I have only recently started working again in the last few weeks. The new job is a lot different to my old one in many ways (working mostly from home for one thing), so I really need to give things a year to settle in. Yeah, I'd say a year at least. Time seems to slide by pretty quickly these days; must be something else at 60! Our situations differ wildly though; I was completely stressed out at my last place and, well, a straw broke the camel's back. I'm not over it now, but feeling much better now I have a new purpose.

Work (hopefully) isn't all of your waking moments. I hope you manage to find something to divert your attention into something constructive or fun, perhaps both if you're lucky! And then soon you'll have that conversation that can lift your spirits and present focus. I had a bit of that today, and it really helps.

Take care, and enjoy it as much as you can. :)
 

IronGiant

Moderator
That's the "Get darn pit mentality, hard-work lad", its just nonsense. No one should go to work to face abuse, the autocratic, hierarchical nature of the industry promotes this.
The whole put up with it so you can do it to others mentality is just ritual bullying, passed on from one "generation" to the next. And as for, "no banter unless you speak Polish" :facepalm:
 

nufcfan1

Active Member
Interesting topic for me especially at the moment. Worked in my current organisation for 21 years. Qualified as an accountant and worked my way to FC in that time. Unfortunately the firm was bought over a couple of years ago, and the culture, business has rapidly gone south.
Basically now cutting heads to make up for fall in profit. I have gone from loving my job and playing a key role in the growth of the company to becoming a bystander as the business goes down the pan due to the new “vision”. A lot of people I have worked with for years moving on as well. Hard to watch but I have asked for voluntary redundancy.
Apprehensive about the future as I suppose I am institutionalised to a degree, but I know I need to move on. I am 46 and I am a bit concerned now about the ageism mentioned in this topic. Hope I can get another job!
 

r21442

Member
Cuts and shrinking a business for short term profit is easy. Growing it profitably is hard hence why so few do it. Everyone has been to business school and wants to 'sweat the assets' - YOU! Young people cost less and don't challenge. Who care that they also know jack sh*t but they're fast learners.....er, aren't they? Until it goes tats up and old George was the only one that knew how to do that so just barrack the youngsters until the few hardy ones come through for you but are scarred and resent you so give up doing any extra. Oh, yes, there'll be a few bright eyed arse lickers climbing the pole ready to screw you over.

My advice try to find a growing business / industry. They'll be most grateful for your loyalty and there'll be new positions to grow in to when things get stale. At least until it is in decline and rinse repeat. Thank god it is all past me.
 

Derek S-H

Distinguished Member
Interesting topic for me especially at the moment. Worked in my current organisation for 21 years. Qualified as an accountant and worked my way to FC in that time. Unfortunately the firm was bought over a couple of years ago, and the culture, business has rapidly gone south.
Basically now cutting heads to make up for fall in profit. I have gone from loving my job and playing a key role in the growth of the company to becoming a bystander as the business goes down the pan due to the new “vision”. A lot of people I have worked with for years moving on as well. Hard to watch but I have asked for voluntary redundancy.
Apprehensive about the future as I suppose I am institutionalised to a degree, but I know I need to move on. I am 46 and I am a bit concerned now about the ageism mentioned in this topic. Hope I can get another job!
You'll be fine.

46 is still young and many companies are really badly run financially, so they'll welcome someone with your experience.:)
 

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