When it comes to cheating/lying can people change?

Can people really change once they cheat or continuously lie?

  • Yes

    Votes: 15 21.1%
  • No

    Votes: 50 70.4%
  • Other - Please specify

    Votes: 6 8.5%

  • Total voters
    71
Status
Not open for further replies.
Is seeing an ex really the best thing right now? Surely mates would be better?

+1

Well, unless the older ex (as in the one OP has just texted not the picture distributing one) is well aware that this is a rebound etc it's hardly fair on her. IMO, you should be around with some mates
 
...sounds really bad but - if she can hide this sort of thing from you once she may do it again - maybe once your married - maybe once you have kids...

If it was me - i would end it...sounds harsh but these are the warning signs that this girl is trouble...

Good luck in whatever you chose to do - but the pain of a breakup is nothing to the pain of a broken family years down the line...
 
TheAdmiralCS said:
To me, flirting doesn't include sending photos of your genitals to someone over the internet (unless its your own husband/wife/boyf/girlf) - not to mention the lying about it afterwards!

If I did something like that I'd quite rightly be kicked out by the missus.

I hadn't read the whole post, your quite right.......

Although some could just do that stuff online with no intentions of physically meeting them, but thats just strange....
 
If sending pictures of herself wasn't bad enough I've spotted a more disturbing trait.

Despite this world of affordable tariffs, qwerty keyboards and intelligent predictive text systems she still uses 'u' instead of 'you'!!!!

You are well rid of her mate!
 
There's another thing to consider “the other party“

What's his involvement in this were they in a relationship so was it an affair or just rather stupid heavy flirting.

Do you know this other guy if you and your lady continued with your relationship could he cause problems?. Facebook emails naked pictures her decision to send these pics could be extremely embarassing to friends\family if this came out.

I take it you don't have kids or are married yet ? Could be seriously damaging in the long term.
 
Could be seriously damaging in the long term.

for the OP? really?:confused:


I'd think people would realise that he isn't the one in the wrong here and that his Friends/ Family have nothing to be embarrassed about, IMO.

I personally don't really see any value/milage/gain in 'considering the other party' for the OP.

I suppose if there are kids involved then that could be awkward, but as they've not been mentioned (to my knowledge) i'll post on the assumption that they havn't got any.
 
go on a lads holiday get away problems aint no good, but i wish you the best with whatever your choices, and just remember a better girl will come along for you dude :) have Faith
 
Just to reply to a few things, I went round my exs house. She was aware that I was with someone, she had contacted me before all this blew up. My current (or ex rather) knew this.

Was a non event, it just felt awkward, I just can't relax. And it wasn't that sort of meet.

Anyway I'm not married and I don't have kids thankfully, as that would really make things complicated and I reckon I'd feel worse.

Although in the back of my head I'm concerned as she's been throwing up and her period has been messed up, it might be unlikely but I'd be gutted if she was pregnant as I always wanted to have a baby with someone and live happily ever after, and I wouldn't be with her.

I've just got a vibe that I'll get a text telling me, even if it's not true.

I don't know who the two guys are that received pictures and were texting/emailing her. To be honest I don't care about them.

My anger is with my gf, she was the one that spread her legs, the only time I'd be angry with the other guy was if it was someone that knew me and knew I was with someone and still done something.

I received a text while I was out asking me why she couldn't get in. I haven't replied yet. I'm still thinking what to do about her stuff, obviously I'll give it but I don't want to see her or her to collect while I'm out as she will still be there when I get back, and it will turn into an argument.

I can't stop thinking about everything, it actually makes me feel physically sick.
 
go on a lads holiday get away problems aint no good, but i wish you the best with whatever your choices, and just remember a better girl will come along for you dude :) have Faith

We're actually booked to go to Dubai in May, I'm tempted to go by myself.

But on the other hand don't know if that's a good idea. And I won't even sit in a mcdonalds by myself, let alone go away by myself.
 
Although in the back of my head I'm concerned as she's been throwing up and her period has been messed up, it might be unlikely but I'd be gutted if she was pregnant as I always wanted to have a baby with someone and live happily ever after, and I wouldn't be with her.

If that turns out to be the case, I would insist on a paternity test and then a second one in consideration of what she has done
 
If that turns out to be the case, I would insist on a paternity test and then a second one in consideration of what she has done

Oh yeah without a doubt, hell if she says she's pregnant she needs to do the test infront of me.

I've noticed a few women pull the pregnancy card out when they get ignored to get a reaction, or maybe it's just been the type of women I've been with, but I've had it before.

If sending pictures of herself wasn't bad enough I've spotted a more disturbing trait.

Despite this world of affordable tariffs, qwerty keyboards and intelligent predictive text systems she still uses 'u' instead of 'you'!!!!

You are well rid of her mate!

To be honest I'm guilty of that as well, just seems quicker typing u instead of you on a text, especially when I'm angry.

But you're right I'm better off without her.
 
Last edited:
Brembo,

You need to get your locks changed then you don't have to worry about her having access to your place, get her stuff packed and then arrange to get someone to drop it off at a neutral destination.

Then you have time to sort yourself out without her being there when you come in, or using the excuse of gettering her stuff to come round.

It then gives you some breathing space
 
Brembo,

You need to get your locks changed then you don't have to worry about her having access to your place, get her stuff packed and then arrange to get someone to drop it off at a neutral destination.

Then you have time to sort yourself out without her being there when you come in, or using the excuse of gettering her stuff to come round.

It then gives you some breathing space

Yeah you're right. Will get locks done at some point this week.

These last 6 months have been ****, death in the family, car written off http://www.avforums.com/forums/general-chat/1549609-so-i-woke-up.html, and now this.

I know things could be worse, there are people out there in worse situations but it doesn't take away or make me feel any better.
 
I really feel for you mate, know this feeling unfortunately. Take a mate with you to Dubai, heck take 5 mates with you. Or change it for mag aloof??

As others have said, throw her back in the sea, cast your line out and just wait for another one to bite mate. Plenty more fish in the sea.
 
Mate, hope your ok!

Unfortunately we live in a world now where the word cheating is thrown around a lot, in some relationships chatting on the net sending pics is quite normal and harmless fun.

A lot of men just sit there and look at women on the net not knowing that is someone wife or girlfriend.

I think some space will do you good to think about what you want but this don't mean it's the end of you too, it could make you stronger.

I be worried if she was a compulsive liar as there is more chance of it recurring, the fact you picked these little signals up shows how much you love her.

We are all always quick to blame the other party, but ask yourself is there any reason for her to do this - maybe lack of love from you!

Although this may not be the case but a relationship is a 2 way thing and a lot of time someone will look elsewhere when they are missing something.

Have a long hard think mate, throwing it all away is easy. Take some time out and at least here her out as much it hurts it will do good in the long run.

We all deserve a 2nd chance.
 
Mate, hope your ok!

Unfortunately we live in a world now where the word cheating is thrown around a lot, in some relationships chatting on the net sending pics is quite normal and harmless fun.

A lot of men just sit there and look at women on the net not knowing that is someone wife or girlfriend.

I think some space will do you good to think about what you want but this don't mean it's the end of you too, it could make you stronger.

I be worried if she was a compulsive liar as there is more chance of it recurring, the fact you picked these little signals up shows how much you love her.

We are all always quick to blame the other party, but ask yourself is there any reason for her to do this - maybe lack of love from you!

Although this may not be the case but a relationship is a 2 way thing and a lot of time someone will look elsewhere when they are missing something.

Have a long hard think mate, throwing it all away is easy. Take some time out and at least here her out as much it hurts it will do good in the long run.

We all deserve a 2nd chance.

Thanks you make some good points.

It could well be me, I don't want to try myself as "perfect" or completely innocent.

But I just personally feel nothing I done deserved what she done, for all I know when I'm at work for a couple of hours at night she could have had someone in my bed.

Obviously I don't know that, and maybe it's just me overreacting, but it's disgusting.

I honestly don't think this would make the relationship stronger but I could see how some circumstances might, but the way I look at it, is if I didn't see those pictures she'd still be sending them down the line.

And with regards to
We are all always quick to blame the other party, but ask yourself is there any reason for her to do this - maybe lack of love from you!

I honestly don't think I did anything to deserve that, and then the constant lies after, and even the lies once I had found out.

I won't ever forgive her, I'm quite stubborn and hold a grudge, I have a few things that I believe people shouldn't do, and I can't stand lying.

The same with stealing, if someone I knew ever stole from me, that would be it, I'd never talk to them again.

If I stayed with her after this I'd be the biggest mug out there, so I'd be there supporting her after she's been doing god knows what with random guys.

She'd never learn if I forgave her, maybe now when she's with someone else she might make her think twice before doing the same thing.

I believe nowadays people will do what you allow them to do to you.

And besides I'd rather give my love and attention to someone that won't **** on me.

Just thinking about it now, so if I forgave her fast forward a few weeks and we'd be on holiday like nothings happened, with me sitting there knowing just a few weeks previously she had sent pictures of herself to guys, and possibly slept with them.

Nah I couldn't do it, and if anyone could in my situation then they're certainly more forgiving than I am.
 
Last edited:
I don't think you or anyone deserves and I am with you it is disgusting.

But one lie would automatically lead to another lie, it could just be someone a million miles away she is chatting to and flirting and nothing will ever come off it.
It could just be seeking a bit of attention.

You find yourself in a very hard situation but don't let yourself get down about it.
Try to talk to her and make some sense out of it, cos at the moment your brain is probably in overdrive and thinking the worst of everything.
 
I don't think you or anyone deserves and I am with you it is disgusting.

But one lie would automatically lead to another lie, it could just be someone a million miles away she is chatting to and flirting and nothing will ever come off it.
It could just be seeking a bit of attention.

You find yourself in a very hard situation but don't let yourself get down about it.
Try to talk to her and make some sense out of it, cos at the moment your brain is probably in overdrive and thinking the worst of everything.

Don't get me wrong I didn't take your post as you saying I deserved it.

I know you were just putting another spin on things, and as you say it might not be as bad as it seems.

But it's enough for me to call it a day. I don't care whether she slept with them, or would or wouldn't have. The fact she sent pictures of herself is bad enough for me.

I can't help feeling this way, I got no answers, I asked why she done it, but she said she didn't know, and she wouldn't tell me where the guys are from etc, she swears she didn't sleep with them, but when someone lies so much how are you meant to know what to believe.

When I called her out on the messages, she said they were old :rolleyes: I seen the dates on the messages, the last one was just days ago

There's nothing more frustrating than when someone lies to your face when you know 100% they are lying.

I can just imagine things if they were the other way round, if she seen pictures I sent of my meat and two veg to women but said I didn't sleep them whether that would be ok.
 
Last edited:
At least you know to call it a day.

If she answered all your questions would it make you feel any better?
Probably not.
As weird as it sound she was probably trying to protect you by lying, cos if she told you the truth you probably would have been a lot more angry and things could have got a lot worse.

I am 32, married with 5 kids.
My dad always told me when I was younger, women are funny creatures and us men will never understand them, if you not happy not with 1 just find another 1.
There is no need to live an unhappy life when you can live happy life with another wife.

I still believe this to this day and say the same thing to my 3 boys, live your life to be happy.
 
At least you know to call it a day.

If she answered all your questions would it make you feel any better?
Probably not.
.

It wouldn't change anything, but it would give me some closure.

But anyway I'm not going to know now anyway.

My dad always told me when I was younger, women are funny creatures and us men will never understand them, if you not happy not with 1 just find another 1.
There is no need to live an unhappy life when you can live happy life with another wife.

That's the exact advice I'm taking.

Life is too short, and you only get once chance at life.

You're a long time dead.

Still feel **** at the minute obviously but I know it's only temporary.
 
Could a mod please close this thread.

I want to try and forget about it, and think I should use this forum to get my mind off things now, not keep posting about them.

I know I could just ignore this thread, but I'd rather not have the temptation.

Thanks
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

The latest video from AVForums

TV Buying Guide - Which TV Is Best For You?
Subscribe to our YouTube channel
Back
Top Bottom