What's the worst present you ever received?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Roohster, Dec 6, 2017.

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  1. Roohster

    Roohster
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    With the festive season well and truly upon us, it's time to think about presents, and to ask the question: What's the worst present you ever received?

    It doesn't have to be a Christmas present, birthday tales etc. are all welcome here.

    I once received a pair of truly hideous silver (plated) wine bottle stoppers.
    Bad enough that they were ugly, worse still is the fact that I don't drink.

    But that pales in comparison to a Valentine's day present I got one year... a heart.
    Not a card with a heart on it, not a chocolate heart, not a novelty heart shaped gift... a real heart.

    Judging by the size it was probably a lamb's heart, I'm not sure, I'm not well up on heart sizes.
    Fairly positive it wasn't human.
     
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    Last edited: Dec 6, 2017
  2. Liquid101

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    My grandmother was the queen of the poor presents.

    One year I got a plastic film pot with 10p coins in. She said "I know you're interested in photography" - Sadly, £1.10 wasn't even nearly enough to actually buy a roll of film. It was accompanied by a card, which she had recycled by crossing out her own name, and replacing it with mine.

    Another year, she gave me a lime green turtle neck jumper. I dutifully put in on, only for her to say she'd bought it in a charity shop, worn it a couple of times but didn't like it. I was too polite to take if off.

    I recall she gave my mother a packet of spaghetti one year, and my father second hand magazine, almost certainly lifted form the doctors surgery.

    I used to dread her coming around on Boxing Day, I'd always find her asleep in my bed by mid afternoon, and my mum would refuse to change the sheets afterwards.
     
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  3. Surebrec

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    my aunt used to buy me woolly jumpers for christmas for years, despite me being allergic to wool. then she went through a phase of buying me socks.

    after that, it was leather belts, seriously, leather belts. I still have about 4 or 5 left, even though for the last decade or so she has bought me chocolate oranges.

    now that's how you end a thread.
     
  4. krish

    krish
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    Action Man outfit without the Action Man figure, which I never got.
     
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  5. Bubblin

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    PlayMobil car set bought by my Nan, even though I was 25!
     
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  6. aVdub

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    Designer tops designed to fit Italian footballers and Granny lost the receipt.

    A coffee machine....Well OK it was basically a massive thing you fill with water and normal coffee and it poured it hot into a cup....Yeah, and it stated on big letters "Must be cleaned right after use"
    It never got cleaned because it never got used.

    An extinguisher for the kitchen and a massive fire blanket...WHAT YOU SAYING AUNTY ***

    Boxers I thought were to be worn one pair on each leg.....Because Granny I is not gonna get then bad boys even over my knees.

    And the usual Balti/Fondue/Sushi etc etc etc sets that are never going to see the light of day and between us only, I've been slowly throwing them out for years so the OH doesn't notice.
     
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  7. Dony

    Dony
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    My birthday is 2 days after Christmas...one year for Christmas I got a new Racing Bike, and then for my birthday I got the pump. It fitted perfectly on the new bike, even had matching stickers! (hardly surprising as it came with the bike). :rolleyes:
     
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  8. Cocksure

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    That's a quality present not a bad one, would love to get something like that, no one is ever to old for toys :)
     
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  9. Rog69

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    My Ex's Mother was the queen of terrible gifts, she was loaded but hardly spent a penny on presents. One year I got a horrible jumper off her for Christmas, it was several shades of brown and had a big circle on the front with a streak of lightning knitted into it, it looked like The Flash had been rolling around in dog sh*t.

    The worst part was that it was at least two sizes too small, I was in my mid 20's and the thing must have been sized for a ten year old. I had to wear it on Christmas day and I could hear the joints straining every time I moved. It itched like mad as well.
     
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  10. nheather

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    Office Secret Santa yesterday.

    Spent some valuable time on Sunday going round the shops to identify an interesting gift for £5 or under. Spent the full £5 and then carefully wrapped it in nice paper. Made sure I took it in on the day and left it on the Secret Santa pile.

    Stood through the manager reading out the labels and distributing the gifts. Lots of people excitedly opening their presents.

    Gets to the end of the pile and nothing for me.

    Clearly the co-worker who drew my name couldn't be arsed.

    Cheers,

    Nigel
     
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  11. Astaroth

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    Can't even remember the tat received under the guise of Secret Santa.

    Worst present I got were 3 pairs of actually very nice socks from the wife but in some crazy size like 14-16 (I'm a 9) which I only spotted after removing and throwing away the tags. Guess I could have taken it as a compliment.
     
  12. spinaltap

    spinaltap
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    Christmas is so close to my birthday I never really get a meaningful birthday nor Christmas present.
     
  13. DJT75

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    A goat that I never met
     
  14. Liquid101

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    On the subject of Secret Santa...

    The first year I started my current job, I was told that secret Santa gifts should be quite saucy. Given the nature of my organisation, I thought this was surprising, but hey ho.. I'll give it a go.

    At the restaurant, gifts were being handed out - and to my horror, they were things like candle sets, books, expensive boxes of chocolates and useful gadgets. Right up until the girl from photocopying opened what I'd bought. A jar of 'nipple chocolate' and a little trowel applicator.

    :blush:
     
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  15. Wahreo

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    Easy- Homer Simpson nasal hair trimmer
     
  16. Astaroth

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    Compared to what was given out in the first claims team I worked in that would have been tame.

    The funny thing was that that a senior manager came and viewed the floor below us and complained that it was like walking into a garage/workshop with the desk decoration. Thankfully he didnt come to our floor as the offending item downstairs was a calendar of Kyle where as on our floor all the womens desks had full nude male calendars, sex toys, penis lollypops etc...
     
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  17. imightbewrong

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  18. Dony

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  19. Roohster

    Roohster
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  20. Sandman

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    My MIL is terrible at choosing gifts. The worst Christmas present she has given me so far has been a giant sun shade that you put in your car to stop the interior heating up too much. A perfect gift to give for Christmas when you live in Scotland.
     
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  21. Jowsey

    Jowsey
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    I have a friend who's birthday is right before Christmas and he, for his birthday, he once received a walking boot. A single boot. And for Christmas he got the matching one. Seriously...
     
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  22. Liquid101

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  23. Sloppy Bob

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    Maybe she thought you'd grow into them.

    Did you ever manage to track him down to trim his nasal hair for him?
     
  24. imightbewrong

    imightbewrong
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    My birthday is very close to Christmas - luckily I avoided the near-Christmas-birthday-present-curse.
     
  25. Roohster

    Roohster
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    Lots of birthdays around Christmas I see... mine too.
     
  26. Dony

    Dony
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    Wrapping a spare Christmas present in different paper doth not a birthday present make. :(
     
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  27. Hixs

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    Some sort of shower radio I think. It was the fact if the suctions cups got wet it would drop off the wall that got me...

    Beyond that the normal stuff like socks/smelly (literally) stuff from poundland/wilkos.
     
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  28. mjn

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    Too many to mention.

    And while not strictly a Christmas present....we have friends over most Christmas. One year, they brought cheese straws and cranberry sauce. Other people have brought tomato sauce. Another year somebody brought crisps.

    I've banned people this year. Although I believe we have company on Christmas Eve. Already said i'm no cooking. And as i'm not on-call, not working, not in the office, not cooking, i'm getting smashed.
     
  29. Hixs

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    Ah cooking
    ..

    I'm cooking 3 xmas dinners. 24th, 25th and 27th. FML.
     
  30. Ste7en

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    I got a jumper off an ex-girlfriend's parents. As I started to open it she said "If you don't like it they can take it back for something else". She went back home with it, I'd made a one inch tear in the wrapping paper and said "Don't like it" and handed it back to her.

    I'm still waiting for my replacement gift... but it was twenty odd years ago :D
     
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