What would you do?

[BB3Lions]

A close friend has a dilemma and my wife and I cannot offer support like we usually do because we don't now the answer. While I/we are not looking for the answer here its an answer to a question i wonder what you would do in the same situation as she.

Our friend is from a small farming town in the Philippines and her Mum who at a ripe old age of 72 has a history of heart trouble which has sadly progressed to where she needs a heart bypass.

Due to her living in the 'country' and does not hold a job she could not ever get health insurance so the cost of the operation starts at £15,000.00 and after care will start from £10,000 up to her release day and subsequently all medications required afterwards. (edit) doctors put the overall cost at around £40k)

Our friend is an RGN her salary is around £24,000.00 mortgaged and single, with no other overheads or debts, she is looking at a loan of £50k.

As you can see from the horrible picture painted what a position to be in, it's her Mum and most people would do anything for there Mum's, but (how to word this) she's 72 life expectancy is not long with or without the operation, £50k is a 2nd mortgage for some and would put her in allot of debt yet if she does not her Mum will die rather sooner than later.

Horrific situation and we really feel for her, we just have no advice, what would yo do or say?

 

[Dancook]

I'd consider if there was any other way she can raise the funds via charity, because a £50k loan would severely cripple her quality of life for a long time.

 

[wack]

Has her mum asked or is she thinking of offering, I don't think either of my parents would have asked me to take on a 50k debt, it's a tough decision, if I had the money lying in a bank account i'd do it without question but taking on 50k of debt is just crazy.

 

[Jenn]

My parents at that age would never ever accept for me to pay for it unless I had the money spare (and even then I'm not sure).

It's a tough one as anybody would want to do anything they can to help their parents but that is a lot of money which may not save her mum after all and change her life (and children?) too.

 

[CraigofScotland]

I dont think this a question GC will be able to answer for her.

Some might take out a 2nd mortgage to keep their parent alive, others might not.


Deeply personal situation, but is your friend brittish??? Does the mum have a passport?? Hop back on a plane to the Uk, NHS is good after all.

 

[ps3mad]

I dont think this a question GC will be able to answer for her.

Some might take out a 2nd mortgage to keep their parent alive, others might not.


Deeply personal situation, but is your friend brittish??? Does the mum have a passport?? Hop back on a plane to the Uk, NHS is good after all.

Im suprised this wasn't mentioned before.Why not just fly her here im sure the NHS would do it for free.As it seem to be a world health srevice these days,and not a national one.

 

[BB3Lions]

Im suprised this wasn't mentioned before.Why not just fly her here im sure the NHS would do it for free.As it seem to be a world health srevice these days,and not a national one.

Our friend is a British National but her Mum is not thus not enabling her to receive free NHS treatment, irrespective of what the media states. I suggested the same and faced a barrage of insults..

Her Mum is not wanting her to spend the money, she wants to die naturally as in most 3rd world countries. When its there time irrespective of medical intervention they just sit and wait to die, sad.

I just wondered what people here would do...

 

[johntheexpat]

It may be possible to just fund an adequate/good level of medication, rather than an operation. There are all kinds of amazing drugs available for heart conditions that can radically improve quality of life without breaking the bank. And of course, major surgery is not always the 'best' answer.

Very tricky.

 

[DJT75]

Her Mum is not wanting her to spend the money, she wants to die naturally as in most 3rd world countries. When its there time irrespective of medical intervention they just sit and wait to die, sad.
...

There my friend is her answer. That is the wish of her mother. Imagine if she borrowed the money & only had her for another 6 months, & very ill during that time. She'd feel worse than she would if she just let her die.

 

[Member 55145]

simple, go ask the bank for a loan, they will refuse. esp in this current climate.

if anything she should get the loan to convert her house to take care of her

 

[jendo]

Tough dilemma, I am sure that most parents would pay for their child to have the operation but at 72 does it make sense the other way round. After the operation what would be her life expectancy? how long before another large operation would be needed? Where do you draw the line? Maybe her wishes should be respected.