What film are you watching tonight/watched last night???

Valerie and her Week of Wonders - Jaromil Jires - 1970

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Where to start with this one? First, I'd urge anyone who loves dreamy, pagany, highly symbolic films to Czech this one out pronto. It has got to be a contender for one of the most beautiful sights ever captured on film. It's like a series of Hieronymus Bosch paintings come to life at times, particularly towards the end of the film.

What's it about? Ehm... a girl gets her first... know what, it's probably best to find out for yourself! It's different, certainly counter-cultural in today's day and age and shouldn't be taken too seriously. It's about a lot of things: the transition from childhood to womanhood; corrupt institutions and the hypocrites and cowards who use them to cloak their true beliefs and desires; death and its profound impact on all human activity but mainly concerning sexuality in this film where it's used as a stark contrast between the forces of new life and impending death; incest and androgyny; and wicked polecats that want to suck the blood out of every living creature!

It's faintly ridiculous and grotesque, deliberately so, and stuffed full of esoteric symbolism from Tarot to Pagan rites like you've probably seen in The Wicker Man and more recently Midsommar. It has a haunting soundtrack that, like the score for Picnic at Hanging Rock, perfectly compliments the ethereal and spooky nature of the film and will linger in your mind for hours and days after the film is over. It shares a heck of a lot in common with Picnic at Hanging Rock as well as The Seventh Seal in some respects. Actually, maybe you could characterise it as the feminine side of Ingmar Bergman's all-time classic The Seventh Seal.

Highly, highly recommend this cherry popper if you're in the mood for something a little different and risque. Has to go up there with the best films I've ever seen.
I'm having that
 
Shivers (1975) Directed by David Cronenberg
Arrow/Lionsgate Restoration
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My oh my those VHS bootleg days once again come flooding back, this time around though the quality has been upped and I can't ever remember the film looking this good or professional looking, a definite Cronenberg classic and such a memorable gem for a feature debut, the way he builds tension is brilliantly done a real slow mover at first much like these yucky sex seeking parasites slowly sliming their way to penetrate and terrify these unsuspecting bodies, it is though less shocking from when first released especially in its ketchup blood killings but the body horror parts work and still look pretty damn effective, as for those once maniacal sex scenes yep they feel pretty tame now apart from its totally shocking opening attack on a very young girl, once the **** really hits the fan and the pace shifts gear it does lose some of its impact but can easily be forgiven as this is Cronenberg through and through testing out his brilliant original approach on the clinical and chilling setups yet to come. 8/10
 
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A cheeky re-watch of The Gentlemen last night.

Sticking by my earlier review too, Ritchie's best work since Snatch for sure. Enjoyable even when you know what's coming, and Grant and Farrell do steal the film.

Hunnam grew on me this time as well, and I appreciated a bit more the other players too.

8/10

Ritchie should consider doing some TV stuff for his characters/stories. There's potential for a Lock Stock/Snatch style series exploring the London gangster scene. Played in the same vein it could be a lot of fun.

Edit: And I'm not talking about that Snatch show that I think was on Sky a few years back.
 
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Nobody Knows I'm Here (2020) Netflix

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I was initially at a loss on how to score this Chilean set drama post viewing. The first hour or so is a very plodding character study of Jorge Garcia's reclusive sheep farmer, Memo. He's a man of very few words, and seems to wallow in his life of misery and solitude. It's a very slow set up that is saved by some nice cinematography , showcasing his island's beautiful scenery.
As we see short surreal glimpses into a life Memo once hoped for, slowly but surely, the viewer gets to understand his self isolation. It all builds to a huge crescendo which just about satisfies. There's some moments of unexpected darkness too, and doesn't show it's hand until the third act.
The movie must have made an impact on me as I couldn't get the title song from my head the next day. If you're open to a slow burner, it's certainly a different flavour for those who like their cinema a little more unusual.
Jorge Garcia, best known as castaway Hurley in tv's Lost, is terrific and almost better than the film deserves. I can't image another actor in the lead.
So, back to that score. 60 minutes in , I had this pegged with as a 4/10, but the last 30 minutes really pulls things back to a respectable 6/10. Worth your time. Just.
 
First Love (2019, UK iTunes, also streaming on Now TV)

When it comes to Takashi Miike, I'm firmly in the 'more is more' camp. Whilst I like his more 'less is more' films like Blade of the Immortal, One Missed Call and 13 Assassins, Audition, Ichi the Killer, Visitor Q and Happiness of the Katakuri's are much more my jam - nothing less than absolute insanity put up there on screen for all to behold.

So hearing this described as a tender love story with adjectives such as 'preposterous', 'hyper-violent' and 'bizarre and unwholesome', I was expecting something else. Oddly then, I got a very mainstream crime-drama, with little of the Insane Miike I wanted and expected. And while disappointment was the first sense I got of this, that slowly evolved into something much more satisfying that while still not up there with the very gonzo best of him, still managed to offer up something nicely different. For him anyway.

A young amateur boxer is diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour and a young prostitute working off her fathers debt literally bump into each other as they get caught up in a drug deal gone wrong. And as they get dragged into a very Guy Ritchie tale of convoluted double crosses, rival crime gangs populated with insane names and even insaner habits, the story unfolds into something Edgar Wright might have done if he'd written Baby Driver on a saki bender.

The first act is very much introducing our characters, including Chinese and Japanese yakuza, drunk assassins, a female pimp who it seems can't be killed no matter what you do to her, crooked cops and of course our leads. The second sees them all manoeuvre into each others orbits via a drug deal gone wrong and everyone blaming everyone else and al manner of ridiculous plot beats so beloved of early Ritchie, before it all comes crashing together into a third act set in a DIY supermarket where everyone just wants to kill everyone else.

It is brutal but not really for Miike, yet his sense of story and how he brings all these characters together is really well done. There are flashes of his insanity here and there - the hallucinations of our young female lead are bizarre and sometimes darkly funny and the random animated interlude comes from nowhere and goes nowhere - but mostly this is Miike seemingly doing a Ritchie/Wright character/crime drama. And it works a bloody treat.

Fans of those British comedy/dramas should definitely seek this out as almost an Asian cover version of Lock Stock/Snatch/Baby Driver. With extra beheadings.
 
And onto Casino Royale 2006 (BD) - Now I know Craig does get increasingly grumpy and serious with each of his films but I have to say he plays a stunning Bond in this. Ok, it's not a typical Bond, this, as everyone knows is more a James Bourne but he still has that essence of Bond and I think that's mainly down to the story and script.
It's in essence a straightforward Bond story but they have made changes and gone in a completely different direction to show Bond off and it works so well. Similar to License to Kill where it feels much more personal Bond shows his tough side, his soft side, his angry side and a little bit of the sexist side but not too much. It's also fantastically shot and is light years ahead of any other Bond film when it comes to cinematography and fight choreography and overall filmmaking. Kudos to Martin Campbell for making such a great film to watch.

The villain in Mads Mikkelsen is very good but we also get a bigger unknown villain crop up which does makes things a bit different. This also means we don't get the typical Bond final set piece fighting the big bad guy which in a way is disappointing but at the same time is actually a nice change. The whole poker section is fantastic and feels like it's most of the film and it probably is but it's very well broken up with some great "interludes".
And boy are those action scenes really good. From the chase at the beginning to the final fight in Venice (which does feel a little tacked on just to have a show stopper), they are brutal and exciting.

Eva Green, always a favourite of mine, is great as Vesper and holds her own pretty well against Craig's moody face. I think there was some other Bond girl but a disposable one unfortunately.

Anyway, I still feel the same as I did when I saw this in the cinema - this is a great start to a new era of Bond. Maybe it's a little different from what we're used to but even as an action thriller it's a great film...and then I realise that doesn't last long as we come to the next one...a definite lack of decent stories start to hurt what could have been a good run of the franchise.
I do have to say I am looking forward to watching QOS as I've only seen it once so a second watch to see if I was right initially will be interesting.

9/10 - best Bond movie? In a way yes due to it just being a great film but ultimately no as it's lacking a little bit of the classic Bond feel. It's still up there near the top though.
 
The Gentlemen (Amazon Prime)

I read @Cas Harlow's review with interest - "This isn't classic in any sense of the word."

So I went into this Guy Ritchie film with trepidation, but no need.

I haven't laughed my balls off this hard since DEADPOOL. Great director, get script, great cast and believe me they do things as known actors you would NOT expect them to do in what is an excellent and funny London gangsta' film.

Yeah... for belly laugh out loud moments and sheer entertainment value, I'm giving this a 10/10

:thumbsup:
 
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Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018) - Crispian Mills
Netflix
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Boring, embarrasing, looks and feels cheap, and vomits up all the usual upper-class toff cliches, hogwarts outfits, and silly, jolly hockey sticks accents. Directed by the bloke out of Kula Shaker. First half is mindnumbingly dull and unfortunately things dont really pick up even after the amateurish gore starts splattering its way onto the screen. Awful cast to boot and that includes everybody especially Peggend. 3/10


The Ballad of Lefty Brown (2017) - Jared Moshe
AppleTV+
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Not a massive genre fan but I am partial to the odd there western and the A24 stamp of quality made this a no-brainer rental for a quid. The story was more or less ruined by the poxy trailer, and for the first hour I was left fairly unmoved by the generic plot and initially shaky performances. However with patience this turns out to be a grower. I began to care about the characters and was especially impressed with Joe Anderson as a vicious outlaw. Lefty is cut from a similar cloth as Unforgiven or Open Range, and is in the same ball park character wise too with its 'pair of seen-it-all veterans and the obligatory callow youth in tow to learn things the hard way' dynamic. In that sense it doesn't reinvent the wagon wheel, but you could do a lot worse if you're in the mood for a new western (and if'n you skip the trailer). 6.5/10
 
Godzilla: Final Wars (2004, US iTunes via Movies Anywhere)

Thanks to iTunes cocking up the years on these 'Zilla flicks now, I'm watching these all out of order. Mind you, by the time I get to number 29 I really don't think that matters.......

This was supposed to be the end, the grand hurrah, the most expensive film to celebrate Gojira's 50th birthday and the last one until Hollywood came a calling again a decade later. And the makers at least went all out in terms of putting everything they could think of into the script.....the trouble was it was everything that Hollywood could come up with that was shoehorned into a kaiju movie, making for an insanely entertaining, if not wholly successful smorgasbord.

Alongside just about every kaiju from the series to date (including a cameo from Emmerich's Godzilla), we get riffs on V (aliens suddenly descend on us, looking very much like us and proclaiming peace but really they just want to eat us), X-Men (earth now has a mutant organisation to help protect it from its various threats), The Matrix (everyone wears black leather and shades and does insane wire-fu, even when on motorbikes) and a whole load more.

The kaiju fights are at their most brilliantly bonkers, with the 300 foot tall lizard now pulling off gravity defying wrestling moves in the middle of the Japanese countryside as he takes on at least fifteen of his greatest foes, all now controlled by these aliens with really bad hair and even worse sunglasses. And even the presence of Godzuki....sorry, I mean Minizilla (honestly) can't derail this. Even when he wears a seatbelt in a mini van. Although what almost does is the over two hour run time - far too long, meaning far too many scenes not of the kaiju and there's a fine line between terrible camp fun and woefully inept cinema that this sometimes strays the wrong side of.

But if you're with the franchise up to this point, you're in it to win it. Gloriously over the top in every conceivable way, its too long and has far too much non-kaiju action in it. But its like a drunk puppy dog of a movie, it exists just to be loved by you and to entertain in any way it can.
 
Godzilla: Final Wars (2004, US iTunes via Movies Anywhere)

Thanks to iTunes cocking up the years on these 'Zilla flicks now, I'm watching these all out of order. Mind you, by the time I get to number 29 I really don't think that matters.......

This was supposed to be the end, the grand hurrah, the most expensive film to celebrate Gojira's 50th birthday and the last one until Hollywood came a calling again a decade later. And the makers at least went all out in terms of putting everything they could think of into the script.....the trouble was it was everything that Hollywood could come up with that was shoehorned into a kaiju movie, making for an insanely entertaining, if not wholly successful smorgasbord.

Alongside just about every kaiju from the series to date (including a cameo from Emmerich's Godzilla), we get riffs on V (aliens suddenly descend on us, looking very much like us and proclaiming peace but really they just want to eat us), X-Men (earth now has a mutant organisation to help protect it from its various threats), The Matrix (everyone wears black leather and shades and does insane wire-fu, even when on motorbikes) and a whole load more.

The kaiju fights are at their most brilliantly bonkers, with the 300 foot tall lizard now pulling off gravity defying wrestling moves in the middle of the Japanese countryside as he takes on at least fifteen of his greatest foes, all now controlled by these aliens with really bad hair and even worse sunglasses. And even the presence of Godzuki....sorry, I mean Minizilla (honestly) can't derail this. Even when he wears a seatbelt in a mini van. Although what almost does is the over two hour run time - far too long, meaning far too many scenes not of the kaiju and there's a fine line between terrible camp fun and woefully inept cinema that this sometimes strays the wrong side of.

But if you're with the franchise up to this point, you're in it to win it. Gloriously over the top in every conceivable way, its too long and has far too much non-kaiju action in it. But its like a drunk puppy dog of a movie, it exists just to be loved by you and to entertain in any way it can.
I'm a bit of a Godzilla aficionado and I LOVE Final Wars.
 
I'm a bit of a Godzilla aficionado and I LOVE Final Wars.
"I knew that tuna-eating monster was useless".......I almost spat out my M&Ms at that!
 
Hey dude, no need to go into the deep with your criticism. We need more Britpop icons directing movies so you really should shower your love on them and, frankly, I think you'll be grateful when your dead. So hush.

That's hollow, man.

*actually I'm kind of a big fan of their first album. Go[vinda] figure.
 
Hey dude, no need to go into the deep with your criticism. We need more Britpop icons directing movies so you really should shower your love on them and, frankly, I think you'll be grateful when your dead. So hush.
Now there's an idea for a thread........

Justine from Elastica directs 23 Jump Street........

Louise from Sleeper directs I Spit on Your Grave IV

That tit out of Menswear directs a remake of Come and See......

Gaz out of Supergrass directs The Muppets....hang on, that's a bit too on the nose.......
 
Now there's an idea for a thread........

Justine from Elastica directs 23 Jump Street........

Louise from Sleeper directs I Spit on Your Grave IV

That tit out of Menswear directs a remake of Come and See......

Gaz out of Supergrass directs The Muppets....hang on, that's a bit too on the nose.......

Damon Albarn already signed up for Universal's Jurassic Parklife
 
Gandhi (1982) Richard Attenborough
iTunes 4k (3.99 grab it while you can)
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Took another iTunes gamble again today with this a film I've only seen it the once and wasn't really a fan at the time, but once again age wins through and I came away with a ton of respect on what Attenborough did with the story and what Kingsley did with bringing this man to the screen, it's epic filmmaking for sure the 250,000 extras prove that but its also a quiet film that doesn't go overboard with layers and layers of extravagance and always stays close to the spirit of the man, the first half did work best for me but must say after the intermission I did start to feel the films lengthy runtime and had to take a sneaky look on just how long was left but those remaining last 30 mins seemed to do its job and it pulled me right back in again, so yep a very good film that looks absolutely fantastic in 4k and the definite who's who of famous faces helped with the journey, keen to also take a look at the wealth of extras in the morning so a solid buy on all fronts. 8/10
Also if you haven't seen the film before all I can say is avoid the trailer it looks dated and badly acted but it really isn't.
 
avoid the trailer it looks dated and badly acted but it really isn't.

Straight away watched trailer :) I have seen the film though - and yes enjoyed. I can't remember if I knew it was Kinsley's first second film - can't be many Best Actor Oscar winners at the second attempt (first attempt in leading role).
 
Anatomy Of A Murder - 8/10 - This 1959 courtroom drama is a lengthy film at 2hrs 40mins but its fantastic, James Stewart is excellent as defence lawyer Paul Biegler who is asked to take the case of a soldier accused of the murder of the man who raped his wife, Lee Remick and George C. Scott are also stand outs from a strong cast, if you like your verbal courtroom sparring there's plenty here and the runtime wont cause you a problem.
 
My Cousin Vinny - 7/10 - My second courtroom set film in as many days, this one a great '90's comedy that I hadn't previously seen, Pesci and Tomei are excellent as the inexperienced lawyer and partner who are tasked with the case of a couple of guys accused of the murder of a store owner, still laugh out loud, its a great movie.
 
Pool Party Massacre (2017, streaming free on UK Amazon Prime)

A micro-budget celebration of 90's SOV (shot on video) slashers and Heathers/Mean Girls-esque teen viper comedy, your enjoyment of this will come down to one thing - your tolerance of appalling acting.

This film had me in its opening minutes - a stunning Megan Fox lookalike in a bikini tempts a metal-loving pool boy with her rather perfect decolletage before ending up as saw fodder and we're straight into some brilliant opening credits that foreshadow all the film's kills but shows them as 8-bit computer game characters, all backed with a gloriously pumping synth soundtrack.

From here, the film goes mostly downhill and down the comedy route - a group of obnoxious older teens arrive for a pool party and straight away, the dialogue is nicely spiky and utterly filthy. If you squinted you could say that the film is passing sly comment on race in America (the Hispanic girl is mistaken for the help) and rampant misogyny (one of the groups boyfriend shows up and brings his older brother who attempts every way imaginable to hook up with the rest of the group). But that's doing the film a service is probably doesn't need - the dialogue is amusing in itself, without having to resort to anything other than just being disgustingly hilarious.

And yet its delivered by a group of actors who would make wood jealous - the only one of note according to IMDb is an actual real-life porn star. And yet the delivery of these hilarious lines by these truly dreadful actors somehow adds to the charm. Whether by design or accident, its combination is comedy gold, so much so that you almost forget that this is also a slasher. The film shows its not really that interested in the slasher element by giving the kills themselves, all household tools used in a fountain of cheap looking blood, barely any time or thought - no tension, no extended kill sequences, just a quick one-two combination of excessive nudity and a couple of squirts of ketchup and we're back to the atrocious acting and hilarious dialogue.

I dug this purely as a more x-rated Mean Girls with amusingly terrible acting rather than any clever horror homage. But as a party film, one to have on with friends and copious amounts of alcohol, its somewhat of winner. A little more thought to the kills, and homaging the more classic 80's slasher, and this could have been something truly special though.......
 
Pool Party Massacre (2017, streaming free on UK Amazon Prime)

A micro-budget celebration of 90's SOV (shot on video) slashers and Heathers/Mean Girls-esque teen viper comedy, your enjoyment of this will come down to one thing - your tolerance of appalling acting.

This film had me in its opening minutes - a stunning Megan Fox lookalike in a bikini tempts a metal-loving pool boy with her rather perfect decolletage before ending up as saw fodder and we're straight into some brilliant opening credits that foreshadow all the film's kills but shows them as 8-bit computer game characters, all backed with a gloriously pumping synth soundtrack.

From here, the film goes mostly downhill and down the comedy route - a group of obnoxious older teens arrive for a pool party and straight away, the dialogue is nicely spiky and utterly filthy. If you squinted you could say that the film is passing sly comment on race in America (the Hispanic girl is mistaken for the help) and rampant misogyny (one of the groups boyfriend shows up and brings his older brother who attempts every way imaginable to hook up with the rest of the group). But that's doing the film a service is probably doesn't need - the dialogue is amusing in itself, without having to resort to anything other than just being disgustingly hilarious.

And yet its delivered by a group of actors who would make wood jealous - the only one of note according to IMDb is an actual real-life porn star. And yet the delivery of these hilarious lines by these truly dreadful actors somehow adds to the charm. Whether by design or accident, its combination is comedy gold, so much so that you almost forget that this is also a slasher. The film shows its not really that interested in the slasher element by giving the kills themselves, all household tools used in a fountain of cheap looking blood, barely any time or thought - no tension, no extended kill sequences, just a quick one-two combination of excessive nudity and a couple of squirts of ketchup and we're back to the atrocious acting and hilarious dialogue.

I dug this purely as a more x-rated Mean Girls with amusingly terrible acting rather than any clever horror homage. But as a party film, one to have on with friends and copious amounts of alcohol, its somewhat of winner. A little more thought to the kills, and homaging the more classic 80's slasher, and this could have been something truly special though.......

Do you watch American Horror Story?

The last season (AHS 1984) was absolutely bloody marvellous. A tribute to 80's slasher (mainly Friday the 13th), like nothing I've ever seen. The cast were fantastic.

Hit the mark bang on. 10/10 stuff. I recommend everyone on here watches it. You'll love it.

Here's the intro to wet your appetites -

 

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