TV Programmes That Should Exist...

nipbiplip

Well-known Member
Ok, I've clearly had too much time on my hands this Xmas, but I thought I'd see if anyone would like to join me in a bit of festive fun

No wait, come back!!

I've been thinking about well known shows and slightly altering the name and/or synopses for a bit of fun

Such as:

Mock The Weak

Dara, Hugh and Russell make fun and generally insult those less well off than themselves (Andy Parsons)

Frozen Planet

David Attenborough continues this awe-inspiring look at the icy wastelands that are home to the bravest wildlife. This week: Middlesborough in June

This Is Your Death

Michael Aspel surprises another unsuspecting celebrity with his big red Uzi. This weeks guest: Kelvin McKenzie

Not sure how many replies I'll get on this thread, but hey ho

Over to you
 

Flimber

Distinguished Member
I shouldn't be wasting such a smart idea on such a frivolous thread as this but here you go :p

The Old Ones - Ben Elton and Richard Curtis are missing a trick here :)
 

nipbiplip

Well-known Member
Top Gear

Clarkson, Hammond and the other one discuss and describe drugs that only the rich can afford, and the latest narcotic to hit the streets is put through its paces by the mysterious junkie known only as The Skag
 
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redwing

Active Member
Prison Break-fast

Its a kind of Masterchef in prison whoever makes the best breakfast over a course of 10 days wins.
The winner this year was a bit strange as his brother actually cooked for him as he felt he owed him for bringing him up and putting him through college, we later saw he had the recipy tattoed all over his body.
 

nipbiplip

Well-known Member
Rumpole On The Baileys

This week Rumpole sends shockwaves through the legal system as his clients case is thrown out due to Rumpole forgetting his case-notes, own name and then relieving himself on the judge

Sponsored by Bargain Booze
 

denzyl

Well-known Member
Life on Mars bars
-the story of a chocaholic copper

Walking with Dinosaurs
-going on a stroll with Sepp Blatter

Law & Last Orders
- about a pub near the Old Bailey

Cluedo
- have a guest of the week (ie Jordan,Peter Andre,Phillip Schofield) and we have a phone in on where they should be killed(in theory) and with what weapon
 

nipbiplip

Well-known Member
Antique Roadworks

In depth retrospective about the contra flow at junction 7 of the M6 that commenced work in 1867
 

nipbiplip

Well-known Member
Young Apprentice - The Final

Sith Lord Sugar pits his two surviving hopefuls against each other in a battle of negotiating skills

Anakin Skywalker and Stuart Baggs "The Brand" go head to head in Camden market where they must haggle with traders for parts that will eventually construct a moon-sized 'Technological Terror'. But who will win?
 

nipbiplip

Well-known Member
Ross Kemp On Fire

This week Hardman Ross visits an island of the coast of Scotland and the locals do not take too well to his searching questions about why they worship a large statue made of wicker

Last in series
 

travid

Well-known Member
Coronation street

The coming and goings of Princes and Princesses throught the history of Briton and the UK (Historical reference), culminating in their "Coronations"

"The series allows us to explore the tragedies and triumphs of the royals" David Dimblebum, producer.
 

denzyl

Well-known Member
Mission Impossible
- ITV2 to do a reality series with neither Jordan or Peter Andre involved

My name is Earl of Wessex
-a comedy show about what a bunch of freeloaders the royal family is

Criminal Minds
-a behind the scenes look at what scams the MPs and House of Lords are claiming for

Strike it Lucky
-how Michael Barrymore evaded a murder charge(allegedly)
 

nipbiplip

Well-known Member
Deal Or No Deal

Noel Edmonds goes undercover onto the streets of Moss Side to see if he can sell drugs using a series of randomly placed boxes
 

bosque

Novice Member
Royal BodyGuard: David Jason in a comic role as a bodyguard whose job it is to accompany royalty everywhere. The one where they were chased by paparazzi through a Paris tunnel with Jason driving though somewhat the worse for wear with booze was a chortler, long postponed after being due to air in August 1997.
 

krish

Distinguished Member
Arab Springwatch
- Kate Humble and Chris Packham return with the daily live evening show charting the fortunes of endangered oppressed citizens, and examining how brutal tyrannies can still survive in the changing political climate ... also Martin Hughes-Games has enlisted Bill Oddie in his quest to see the lesser-spotted Saif al-Islam Gaddafi
 
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nipbiplip

Well-known Member
Freelander

Christopher Lambert stars in this TV spin-off from the hit movie.

Dubiously accented Connor McLeod discovers his 04 plate Land Rover is actually immortal and can only be killed by chopping off the head-gasket
 

TonyA

Well-known Member
Shooting Stars

Vic and Bob invent a new show where celebrities replace clay pigeons and are fired into the skies over Norfolk, only to be dispatched by 12 bore shotguns. First episode; Jedward, Kerry Catona, Katie Price, and some other vacuous non-entity face George Dawes Howitzer.


Come Die With Me

Dave Lamb narrates hilarious snide remarks whilst A&E doctors attempt to revive four patients for the prize of £1000
 

krish

Distinguished Member
Never Mind the Buzzcocks
- A fly on the wall family reality gameshow where the cameras are constantly on a family going about their business in their house for a week whilst Pete Shelley and his band are noisy house guests for that time. If the family can go a whole week without being particularly bothered or annoyed by the Buzzcocks, they will win a top cash prize ... however every annoyed look/remark/gesture/whisper/comment (as judged by a panel of top TV psychologists like Linda Papadopoulos) will incur a cash penalty and the family can end up winning nothing. Presented by George "Restoration Man" Clarke.


Never Mind the Buzzcocks LIVE
- Live feed of the above show, which may also feature the band playing live during antisocial hours in inappropriate places.
 
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mike7

Distinguished Member
The Ex-Lax Factor

-contestants are dosed with the medication and then have to see how long they can listen to Simon Cowell without having to dash to the toilet. The one who lasts longest, without an accident, wins.
 

mike7

Distinguished Member
I'm a Celebrity, guess who I am?

A bunch of nonentities are abandoned somewhere very unpleasant and left to find out, amongst themselves, who the hell they are. Nobody comes back!
 

TonyA

Well-known Member
Celebrity Big Brother

A whole bunch of z-list "celebrities" are placed in the BB house for two weeks.

The twist? It's not televised. Yay!
 

nipbiplip

Well-known Member
I'm an Invertebrate - Get Me Out Of Here

Ant & Dec return to the jungle where 10 relatively famous species of insect are placed in a bush-tucker trial with hilarious consequences

The winner is the 1st one to stay out of Christopher Biggins gob
 

travid

Well-known Member
Match of the day.
Every Saturday evening, the votes are counted and the winner is crowned match of the day.

Sponsored by Swan vesters.
 

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