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This year's Turner prize.

F

fizzi

Guest
The contenders for this year's Turner prize....

Turner Prize shortlist: Pink plastic bag sculpture among entries | Mail Online


I'm definitely gonna have to think about submitting something next year.

I just can't decide between - my untidy desk complete with cat sprawled across it, (might have to be a photo as I doubt the cat would stay there long enough), an oil stain on my garage floor, or a small clump of grass which was missed by the lawn mower.

Can you do better?
 

Iccz

Distinguished Member
Better than poop in a can I guess...


Though it is getting ridiculous/desperate (delete as appropriate).
 

Steven

Senior Moderator
Turner prize seems to be getting more and more towards the stereotyped notion of supremely pretentious artists and judges attaching abstract ideas to the most basic of creations, or in most cases not even a creation but rubbish they picked up outside. A crisp packet placed on a red cushion and submitted as an entry and then labelled as the ultimate being of art

An oil stain on your floor? Why it is the embodiment of the insatiable modern thirst for oil suffocating mankind and the planet. The seemingly inconsequential nature of the stain shows how man is now neutered to the reality that precious black gold can lie on the floor unnoticed

Your entry could go something like that :)
 

Bill Hicks

Banned
Turner prize seems to be getting more and more towards the stereotyped notion of supremely pretentious artists and judges attaching abstract ideas to the most basic of creations, or in most cases not even a creation but rubbish they picked up outside. A crisp packet placed on a red cushion and submitted as an entry and then labelled as the ultimate being of art

An oil stain on your floor? Why it is the embodiment of the insatiable modern thirst for oil suffocating mankind and the planet. The seemingly inconsequential nature of the stain shows how man is now neutered to the reality that precious black gold can lie on the floor unnoticed

Your entry could go something like that :)

Or you could declare yourself a Stuckist and paint a traditional portrait.
Never win the Turner in a million years though.
 
F

fizzi

Guest
Or you could declare yourself a Stuckist and paint a traditional portrait.
Never win the Turner in a million years though.

Unfortunately my painting talent only runs to stick people. But then where the Turner prize is concerned never say never.
 

dc8900

Distinguished Member
Unfortunately my painting talent only runs to stick people. But then where the Turner prize is concerned never say never.

painted stick people is about a billion times better than a pink plastic bag sculpture!
 

Solomon Grundy

Distinguished Member
I like that painting of a garage, it looks very detailed, especially the roof...until you look at the trees...they are crap!
 

johntheexpat

Distinguished Member
An oil stain on your floor? Why it is the embodiment of the insatiable modern thirst for oil suffocating mankind and the planet. The seemingly inconsequential nature of the stain shows how man is now neutered to the reality that precious black gold can lie on the floor unnoticed

How embarrased are you for being able to come up with a paragraph like that? Or are you proud of being able to write that kind of stuff and angling for a career change?
 

Iccz

Distinguished Member
How embarrased are you for being able to come up with a paragraph like that? Or are you proud of being able to write that kind of stuff and angling for a career change?

You're just jealous you don't have the creativity or inspiration to be a Turner prize winner, aren't you!
 

Steven

Senior Moderator
How embarrased are you for being able to come up with a paragraph like that? Or are you proud of being able to write that kind of stuff and angling for a career change?
Hey it's not a serious thread, so no, I am not embarrassed at all. And of course whilst I am grateful for your praise for merely 30 seconds work, as a grown adult I don't feel insecurity. Why, do you, to be bringing it up? :)
 
The Turner Prize originated back in 1888, and at that time it was called The Turnip Prize. It was at a time when society felt a need to embrace the simpletons of Kent. It was at a time when a council proposed that The Village Idiot of each town near Kent should create something to barter to ease them towards a better life. The value of each barter object was to be decided by a committee of 12 leading members of the upper class society. And a winning object chosen from those simple objects would benefit that Village Idiot with a Gold Coin, and a turnip shaped trophy. Jacob Turner was the first to win The Turnip Prize with 'Dead Rat On A Stick'. And in the following years the Turnip Prize became The Turner Prize in his honour. So please try to understand these uneducated pieces of art as a chance to embrace the simpler members of our society. Ok so they only have their unmade beds, and bags of rubbish to work with, but at least they try. :D
 

IronGiant

Moderator
Have your quoting from Wiki skills deserted you PP?

Let me help:

The Turnip Prize is a spoof UK award that satirises the Tate Gallery's Turner Prize by rewarding deliberately bad modern art. It was started mainly as a joke in 1999...

The Turner prize was started in 1984 by the Tate Gallery in honour of Joseph Mallord William Turner 1775 - 1851
 
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