The Stupidest list in History?

GBDG1

Distinguished Member
Having a coffee today I came across a rouge copy of the Daily Star, Having a quick scan through I found this list. Have you ever come across anything where less intelligence has been applied?

Daily Star: Simply The Best 7 Days A Week :: News :: British & proud - give us our traditions back


2 Snow at Christmas 59% - How can Gordon Brown rob us of this?

4 Kids playing in street 52% - Caveat - Must not be wearing hoodies.

5 Opal Fruits 44% - Changing the name really affected the flavour?

6 Apprenticeships 44% - When did these stop existing?

9 C&A 42% - The famous DUTCH retailer?

10 Steam trains 40% - Why not go the whole hog and campaign for the return of the horse and cart

11 Postcards 38% - Why?

12 Ask Jeeves 37% - Now Jeeves isn't manually processing our searches we will just have to fall back on pattern matching algorithms

13 Fuel in gallons 37% - I have to fill my car up twice as much these days

15 Local bank managers 33% - Yes, outsourcing bank managers to India was a step to far?

16 Outdoor pools/lidos 31% - Today's cover story "Artic blast to hit the UK"

17 It's A Knockout 31% - Oh c'mon!

18 Marathon bars 30% - See Opal fruits
 
Last edited:

pandemic

Well-known Member
You missed No.1 bobbies on the beat, now to be honest there are more of them this year where I live than I've ever come across in my 24 year existence. Was on the bus home recently and passed 6 in 3 pairs every quarter of a mile.
 

Reign-Mack

Active Member
You missed No.1 bobbies on the beat, now to be honest there are more of them this year where I live than I've ever come across in my 24 year existence. Was on the bus home recently and passed 6 in 3 pairs every quarter of a mile.
Are you sure those are real police and not those voluntary community support officers?
 

lynx

Well-known Member

Bill Hicks

Banned
The list forgot to mention...............

1) Penny for the Guy around November the 5th.
2) Home made Go Carts.
3) Adventure playgrounds.
4) Screen Test on tv.
5) Jubblies.
6) Wimpy bars.
7) Push button black & white tv's (Ok maybe not a popular choice on AV Foums!)
8) Skateboards with rollerskate wheels and griptape stuck on the top.
9) Treetop orange squash.
10) Jamboree bags.
 

addyb

Distinguished Member
The list forgot to mention...............

1) Penny for the Guy around November the 5th.
2) Home made Go Carts.
3) Adventure playgrounds.
4) Screen Test on tv.
5) Jubblies.
6) Wimpy bars.
7) Push button black & white tv's (Ok maybe not a popular choice on AV Foums!)
8) Skateboards with rollerskate wheels and griptape stuck on the top.
9) Treetop orange squash.
10) Jamboree bags.

Me and the wife was just mentioning that last night!!
 

PoochJD

Well-known Member
Hi,

As a police community support officer (PCSO), you will work on the frontline of your local force, providing a visible and reassuring presence on the streets and tackling the menace of anti-social behaviour.
This should really say:

As a Police Community Support Officer (PCSO), your job will be to hang out with your best mate, whilst occasionally walking around busy areas in your local neighbourhood, pretending to be police officers, and making it appear like the local constabulary are actually present.

You will not be allowed to actually tackle crime or criminals in any way, shape or form, and your presence will neither lower crime, or appear to lower crime to locals. You will have to bear the brunt of being loathed by the public who will only ever ask you a singular question, at least 18 times per shift: "Why aren't you a real police officer?"! :rotfl: Plus, on top of this, you will have absolutely no powers of arrest whatsoever, nor be able to actually do anything without actual police backup. Such backup will never be available when its required, and there will be occasions when we will send you out into hardcore areas of criminal activity, with nothing but a cycling helmet and a flourescent jacket - both of which will make you feel totally and utterly worthless!

Oh, and the pay is peanuts too. And Health/Medical Insurance ain't included either!


:rotfl:


Pooch
 

Dave Weystoner

Active Member
So, who speaks from on-the-job experience, Lynx or Pooch?

Personally, I'm happy to see a patrolling PCSO, if only because he has direct contact with a proper copper when needed. If you want to see police on the beat, give the force the money to do it - write to your MP saying that you'll suffer the increase in taxes.

Dave
 

oakie

Active Member
So, who speaks from on-the-job experience, Lynx or Pooch?

Personally, I'm happy to see a patrolling PCSO, if only because he has direct contact with a proper copper when needed. If you want to see police on the beat, give the force the money to do it - write to your MP saying that you'll suffer the increase in taxes.

Dave
no thanks, i would rather those in power used the large amount of tax they already take more efficiently.
 

PoochJD

Well-known Member
Hi Dave Weystoner,

I am not a PCSO, nor is anyone I know of. However, I do know that PCSO's are - to all intents and purposes - totally powerless to do anything, by law, and their superiors! :suicide: Thus, it makes them nothing more than objects used to be made to look like something is being done, when it actually isn't! :(

As Oakie says, the Government already has plenty of money from taxpayers, and could - if it really wanted too - get proper police back on the streets, doing proper "bobbies on the beat" work, that used to be the norm, about 10 years ago. However, the Government would rather hand over a blank cheque to bankers instead or take us into illegal wars on dodgy evidence! :rolleyes:

I have no problems with PCSO's, but if they can't do anything to actually stop crime, or aid victims of crime, what's the point of them?! :confused:


Pooch
 

Miyazaki

Novice Member
Ever heard of the citizen's arrest?
 

pixelated

Active Member
Hi Dave Weystoner,

I am not a PCSO, nor is anyone I know of.


Pooch
So you know nothing, but have a perception. That's fine. Just don't make it into something that it's not - knowledge. Think you can do better? Become a special constable.
 

PoochJD

Well-known Member
Hi,

Miyazaki, you said:

Ever heard of the citizen's arrest?
Unfortunately, a "Citizen's Arrest" is one of those ideas that sounds great, but is actually very, very dangerous to do, unless you are a) very genned-up on English Law (I'm not genned-up enough to risk doing this); b) are built like a brick outhouse, and aren't afraid to restrain the person you arresting, and - more importantly c) are okay about the following:

It is permissible for any person to arrest anyone who is without doubt in the act of committing an offence, or whom the arrestor has reasonable grounds for suspecting to be in the act of committing an offence. Where an offence has been committed without doubt.., anyone who is without doubt guilty of that offence or whom the arrestor has reasonable grounds for suspecting to be guilty of it. BUT in order for the arrest to be lawful, the following two conditions must also be satisfied:
- It is not reasonably practicable for a constable to make the arrest instead
- The arrestor has reasonable grounds for believing that the arrest is necessary to prevent one of the following:
1) The person causing physical injury to himself or others
2) The person suffering physical injury
3) The person causing loss of or damage to property
4) The person absconding before a constable can assume responsibility for him.

Use of the second power above is rather risky, since it relies upon the person carrying out the arrest knowing that an indictable or either way offence has been committed. If, for example, the arrested person is later acquitted in court then it could be concluded that no offence has been committed; thus the arrest would be unlawful, and the person making the arrest be sued for wrongful detainment of an innocent person!



Stuart Kirby - you said:

So you know nothing, but have a perception. That's fine. Just don't make it into something that it's not - knowledge. Think you can do better? Become a special constable.
I've already stated I'm not a PCSO. I'm also not a government minister, but that doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't slate them, if I feel my criticism is deserved! :lesson:

And saying "I know nothing" is very different to having a "perception" of seomthing. I'm not claiming what I perceive to be 100% factual. It may be completely false, but it's my perception of what I've seen of PCSO's.

I have also never said I could do better! I couldn't, and wouldn't do better. But then, I'm not saying I could be a PCSO, nor am I claiming I want to be a PCSO! What made you think that I could?! :confused:

I was simply making the point, that rather than having PCSO's, who - in my view - do not have any powers like that of a police officer, constable or other such member of the constabulary, and are therefore, simply on the streets to make it look like police ARE on the streets in presence!

I quote:

I have no problems with PCSO's, but if they can't do anything to actually stop crime, or aid victims of crime, what's the point of them?! :confused:
The important word there is, "if". If they can't do anything to stop crime, then there is no real point in them being on the streets of Britain. But, if you are saying they are able to stop criminals, and have certain powers to arrest or detain yobs and the like, then that's great, and I'll change my opinion of PCSO's to one that is more positive!

According to "PoliceCouldYou.co.uk":

As a PCSO, you will work on the frontline of your local force, providing a visible and reassuring presence on the streets and tackling the menace of anti-social behaviour. This is a paid, usually full-time position that can lead to a long career with the police. PCSOs have different roles in different forces, but they usually patrol a beat and interact with the public, while also offering assistance to police officers at crime scenes and major events. PCSOs do not have the same powers as regular police officers.
That statement is pretty much what I said:
- that PCSO's DO NOT have the powers toa actually stop crime, and
- that PCSO's are mainly to be a "visible and reassuring presence" on the streets!

So, why are you slating me, for my opinion, and an opinion that is backed-up by material on an official police recruitment website?! :confused:


Pooch
 

kBm

Distinguished Member
That statement is pretty much what I said:
- that PCSO's DO NOT have the powers toa actually stop crime, and
- that PCSO's are mainly to be a "visible and reassuring presence" on the streets
I'm sure in a small way being a 'visible pressence' has prevented some form of crime - be it vandalism or other anti social behaviour. I can see PCSO helping victims of crime too - providing support for the regular police. I would like to think policing is a team effort.....

:)
 

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