The quintessential toilet paper test

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Setenza, Apr 24, 2007.

?
  1. Facing you.

    60 vote(s)
    60.0%
  2. Facing the wall.

    12 vote(s)
    12.0%
  3. Couldn't give a monkey's.

    28 vote(s)
    28.0%
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  1. Setenza

    Setenza
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    These boards are predominantly haunted by males. Men have a reputation for having a lower set of standards than women in all things domestic. Hoovering and dusting, defrosting the fridge, washing, ironing, taking out rubbish have all been alleged to be alien concepts to men.

    I object to these stereotypes. I for one am not content to wear an shirt that hasn't been ironed. I believe that it is ones duty to wash up after a meal and put all items back where they belong. Rubbish belongs in the bin and toilet doors are there for a purpose!

    This has at times put me at odds with my fellow men, who feel that my adherence to such doctrines is a little suspect. I have as a result in the past had my sexuality impuned. The fact that I live in Kent and have such personal standards has apparrrently confirmed to some individuals, who live in others parts of the country, that I am a "soft southern, shandy drinking bastard".

    So it's time for a test, so we know who we all are and where we stand. So heres a simple question that will ascertain the necessary facts.

    When you replace the roll of toilet paper on the spindle, should the paper......

    1.) Face the front ie towards you.

    2.) Face the back ie away from you and twixt spindle and rear retaining structure.

    3.) You couldn't give a damn.
     
  2. Praxidike

    Praxidike
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    I'd be worried if the toilet paper actually faced me, like eyes following you around a room.

    Anyway, I voted for 3. ;)
     
  3. Ultima

    Ultima
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    Definately facing you, If I go into anyone house and it's the wrong way I change it round.

    I think I'm obsessed with it.:eek:

    Martin
     
  4. Jammyb

    Jammyb
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  5. Mep

    Mep
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    Facing you....otherwise the Andrex Puppies are upside down!! :D
     
  6. Ian J

    Ian J
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    If you are referring to lavatory paper, ours unfurls nearest the wall :)
     
  7. adam4478

    adam4478
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    REPLACE THE TOLIET PAPER:confused: ?:confused:? :confused: ?

    1stly that's a woman's job

    2ndly does the old cardboard tube come off then, i always thought you had to get a whole new unit fitted on the wall...

    3rdly you're not going to tell me your seat/lid actually gets put down after use as well

    4th a real man would just use his hand and wipe it on his jeans on the way out when the toilet paper is finished

    SOUTHERNERS

    :D :D :D
     
  8. adam4478

    adam4478
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    oh - i voted for 2 - being from surrey :)
     
  9. dazzafact

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    Mine sits on the floor in the bathroom somewhere stuck between 19 empty toilet rolls and a vast array of magazines, papers and of course old pipes that I ripped out 3 years ago when I started replumbing my bathroom!!:rolleyes: Toilet roll holder you say? It's for posh southern shandy drinking [email protected];)
     
  10. njp

    njp
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    I would have preferred different terminology. In voting for the One True Answer (option 2), I have assumed that you mean the case where the toilet paper flows elegantly from beneath the roll rather than pouring ludicrously over the top of the roll.
     
  11. lisa burrell

    lisa burrell
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    someone in our home leaves just one sheet yes one.. strategical on the roll. which is very annoying speshly when.... no even going to go there :blush:

    [email protected]~~
     
  12. la gran siete

    la gran siete
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    Our LOO paper faces any which but how:)
     
  13. johntheexpat

    johntheexpat
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    Ahh that shows good breeding- I bet your mum is proud of you!
    We actually have a musical toilet roll holder, ie it has an integral radio, so nobody really notices
     
  14. fortean

    fortean
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    Absolutely!

    I got fed up with my wife complaining that I never put the seat down. So I made a rule that the lid goes down too; now she has something to do before leaving :thumbsup:
     
  15. Digger

    Digger
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    For the love of loo paper can someone explain WHY it should ever unfurl away from you (against the wall), just one sensible reason. . .:rolleyes: :)
     
  16. Jenn

    Jenn
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    Definitely paper nearer the wall, I have to change it if it goes the other way (which doesn't happen very often as empty toilet rolls seem too heavy to be lifted and dropped in a bin by most men).

    I also hate the toilet lid to be up, let alone the seat...
     
  17. Phil57

    Phil57
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  18. Steven

    Steven
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    Front. End :D

    But the dog has since grown to be big enough to be able to grab the tissue... and worryingly be able to eat and destroy in record time
     
  19. njp

    njp
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    Because the alternative is just uncouth. And remarkably common, as the poll confirms.

    Next week's poll: Cracking a boiled egg: Big Endian or Little Endian?
     
  20. Setenza

    Setenza
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    Of course if you only use moist toilet tissue, dispensed from a lavishly tooled, hand crafted dispenser, then this problem is negated.

    The seat is of course put down after use, and indeed before flushing. The alternative is to be liberally doused in an aerosol mixure of water and your own faecal icor.
     
  21. Digger

    Digger
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    I remember when a kid and confronted with my first roll where the dual sheet serations didnt match up with each other. It flummoxed me the first time and got me so annoyed that I got a new one and tried to replicate it...still failed. Soon learnt mind you :)
     
  22. unique

    unique
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    if you want to "peel" the egg and take all the shell off, the easiest way is to tap the bottom/round end till it cracks, and then peel away. reason being is that you get an air bubble at that end, making it easier to peel

    and with tea, you put the milk in first, then the hot water as that keeps the tea hotter for longer (it's the laws of physics). putting hot water in first was something from the old days to show you had china cups that didn't shatter due to the temperature of the hot water

    as to toilet paper, at the back looks neatest, at the front is probably the way most people put it so the paper is closer
     
  23. Setenza

    Setenza
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    Objection :lesson:

    This method can potentially bring the toilet paper in contact with the wall, thus transferring germs and dirt to the paper and then to your rusty sheriffs badge.

    As for the aesthetical quality, this is subjective.
     
  24. la gran siete

    la gran siete
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    actually I just noticed my toilet paper goes from rt to lft or lft to rt because its inserted into metal spike vertically :)
     
  25. unique

    unique
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    if you don't clean your walls and have a manky house and have the bog roll unrolled and hanging down the side of the wall and the toilet roll holder is really close to your wall, you might get germs, but your wiping your arse with the paper after you've just crapped out of it, so being worried about the germs that jump from your wall to your toilet paper and then transferred onto your arse is like worrying about getting your clothes wet when you jump in a swimming pool to put out the flames if your clothes catch fire whilst cooking a barbeque
     
  26. la gran siete

    la gran siete
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    Does anyone remember that shiny paper that use to come in packets. Horrible stuff that use to slither and slide around your orifice? Nothing like the cumphy stuff we get today:smashin:
     
  27. Digger

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    you mean back in the schooldays. . .that tracing paper stuff with added cutting edge crinkly sound effects! ouch!!
     
  28. square-eyes-baz

    square-eyes-baz
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    Thats the stuff that your fingers poke through:eek:
     
  29. njp

    njp
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    My eggs are round at both ends. I am now confused as to your endianism, and indeed whether it is consistent in the case of both hard and soft boiled eggs. Please clarify this important matter.

    I too am a pre-lactic. However your reasoning is faulty. The reason for putting the milk into the cup first is that it does not become scalded as it would if added gradually to a much larger volume of very hot liquid. This would alter its taste, producing an inferior cup of tea.

    The additional heat loss caused by adding the milk after pouring the tea is minimal, unless you wait a long time.

    Another good reason for putting the milk in first is that the loathsome Paul Burrell insists that it should be done the other way round. I am indebted to Harry Hill's TV Burp for this information.
     
  30. Mep

    Mep
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    Izal! horrible stuff!
     
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