The irrational and the not-so-irrational annoyance thread part eleven

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BomoLad

Well-known Member
School plays. I don't have children but as uncle it's a role I've performed occasionally. Sitting at the back, gushing parents. Completely wooden performances by the children. Man with a camera everyone knows is probably there to record it officially with permission but...still it's 2013 and we've nowt to do but get suspicious. Then the palm-bruising moral clap at the end, including to say how 'wonderful' Mrs Mop was for putting it all together.

The only pleasure I get is during the 'refreshments' after, the look on someone's face when I answer 'none' to the question 'which one is yours?'
 

FZR400RRSP

Banned
School plays. I don't have children but as uncle it's a role I've performed occasionally. Sitting at the back, gushing parents. Completely wooden performances by the children. Man with a camera everyone knows is probably there to record it officially with permission but...still it's 2013 and we've nowt to do but get suspicious. Then the palm-bruising moral clap at the end, including to say how 'wonderful' Mrs Mop was for putting it all together.

The only pleasure I get is during the 'refreshments' after, the look on someone's face when I answer 'none' to the question 'which one is yours?'
An Uncle going to a school play?
That's very unusual, pretty exclusively parents and grandparents only at the loads I've been to.
I wouldn't give a crap about going to my niece's or nephew's play either.
Not enough emotional connection to warrant sitting through the rubbish.
 

imightbewrong

Distinguished Member
Actually I added the parents bit after I wrote it. I as going for pretty ambiguous comments throughout though ;)
 

FZR400RRSP

Banned
Coleslaw

Oh, and people who say 'Coldslaw'
The same people who say 'Pumpture'

Oh, and my sister-in-law saying she lost a wheel off her car the other day.
Bloody hell, thought I.:eek:
Wheel trim, wheel TRIM:rolleyes:
 

BomoLad

Well-known Member
There are too many cereals these days. You go into even some of the very big supermarkets and there's a whole side of the shop near enough covered with a gigantic wall of cereal. It's ridiculous.
 

W0LFIE

Well-known Member
HMHB said:
What about

Nice dive James <clap> <clap>
Great spitting Wayne <clap> <clap>
Excellent lump of snot from your nose to the floor Pete <clap> <clap>
Superb cheating Dave <clap> <clap>
From a dad that has 2 kids playing football 4 times a week the matches are more like
'Push him back Taylor'
'If he hits you smack Him back Kyle'
'Are you f-ing blind ref-ignore the ref Jordan he doesn't know what he f--- he's talking about'
" you're number 7 is a f- ing cheat you c---, I don't care if she's only 7 you should be ashamed, c'mon Beyonce we're not staying for this s---'
"Don't you find some of the parents behaviour disgraceful Tarquinius, I was talking to my husband you &£@&£( ?&)@! So ?£)&& off!"


EDIT
Steve!Stu! Bob! Jim! Susan! Graham!
James, Wayne, Pete & Dave???????

When did you guys last go to a kids football match...the 70's??!!

Today kids are called
Middle class = Oliver, Zachary, George, Stanley, Alfie, Archy, Rubin, Freddy, Jake, Sonny etc
Working Class = Taylor, Kyle, Kaden, Jordon, Bailey, Tyson, India, Storm, Breeze etc (any weather condition, country or a surname translated into a Christian name will do).
^^ the above is a massive generalisation - no offence intended ;o)
 
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Dancook

Distinguished Member
When I was little looking out the window I saw a tyre rolling down a hill away from the car. Turned out our wheel had come off :)
 

Ruskio

Active Member
TV News Reporters having their Twitter Name at the end of a news report they've just given.

I have to say I've never felt the urge to contact them.
 

HMHB

Distinguished Member
From a dad that has 2 kids playing football 4 times a week the matches are more like
'Push him back Taylor'
'If he hits you smack Him back Kyle'
'Are you f-ing blind ref-ignore the ref Jordan he doesn't know what he f--- he's talking about'
" you're number 7 is a f- ing cheat you c---, I don't care if she's only 7 you should be ashamed, c'mon Beyonce we're not staying for this s---'
"Don't you find some of the parents behaviour disgraceful Tarquinius, I was talking to my husband you &£@&£( ?&)@! So ?£)&& off!"


EDIT


James, Wayne, Pete & Dave???????

When did you guys last go to a kids football match...the 70's??!!

Today kids are called
Middle class = Oliver, Zachary, George, Stanley, Alfie, Archy, Rubin, Freddy, Jake, Sonny etc
Working Class = Taylor, Kyle, Kaden, Jordon, Bailey, Tyson, India, Storm, Breeze etc (any weather condition, country or a surname translated into a Christian name will do).
^^ the above is a massive generalisation - no offence intended ;o)
:rotfl: Excellent, you've cheered me up no end with that :)
 

FZR400RRSP

Banned
People who say common food items incorrectly.

Jalapeño
Chorizo

etc.
"Expresso"..
Oh, and "Brewshetta"

The wife will say the latter, I'll sit there and mumble "Bruce-ketta"
Then I'll look at her and say "Well...as easy to say it right as wrong..."
 
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HMHB

Distinguished Member
I find that Scottish weather woman annoying when she says "for a fwhee fwhile" - yes I know it's just her accent but it gets on me every time she says it.
 

FZR400RRSP

Banned
I find that Scottish weather woman annoying when she says "for a fwhee fwhile" - yes I know it's just her accent but it gets on me every time she says it.
If she makes an 'fwh' sound where it should just be a 'w', that's a speech impediment, not an accent.:D
 

BomoLad

Well-known Member
How Starbuck (or similar) are quite daunting to those of us who rarely frequent them. I have to walk in slowly so I've enough time to sufficiently read the contents of the board before I'm served. I order varying things whenever I do go and I've not been able to notice the difference with any of them. They're all vaguely different types of the same coffee it seems. Once I got one which had ice and a lid on it, which was different. But I got to drink it through a straw so I was happy.

The huddle around the counter at the end annoys me too. But funny when two people already there have the same order. I'm always a bit tense in case someone has the same as me and then I go to collect their coffee and they'll think I'm frightfully rude.

***

Euphemisms for being annoyed.

Gets my goat

Grinds my gears

Pulls my chain

or whatever.
 
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Bleem

Distinguished Member
I find that Scottish weather woman annoying when she says "for a fwhee fwhile" - yes I know it's just her accent but it gets on me every time she says it.
You had better not be talking about the gorgeous Judith Ralston!

Only reason I have Reporting Scotland in my planner..
 

BomoLad

Well-known Member
People who pretend they have or use chat up lines. No human being on earth has ever used a chat-up line in a real life chat-up situation. Chat up lines are invented so we, as a species, can make the awkward moments when we approach another of our ilk for sexual intercourse, seem more sophisticated or amusing. Essentially, re-tellable.

Nobody has ever gone up to someone and said 'Hey baby, although I'm pleased to see you this is a gun in my pocket and I want to shoot it all over you tonight' No. Instead what happens is embarrassed small talk that eventually leads to a (sometimes reluctant) acceptance by both parties to formally copulate later that very evening.

The 'chat up line' was invented to give people the retrospective illusion of their own prowess and to be used in polls of 'what's the worst chat up line you've ever heard?' whereby people just repeat chat up lines they've heard but never outside the context of the conversation 'What's the worst chat up line you've ever heard?'

It's an entirely invented thing the chat-up line.

Ask anyone their favourite or least favourite, the chances of 'get your coat you've pulled' or 'did it hurt when you fell from heaven?' being said are very, very high. Not that anyone has ever used them but they've become the standard bearer for either poor or vaguely amusing chat up lines. Everyone near enough claims to have used them or been subject to them. But it's not true. They've never been said in a real 'chat-up' situation in the history of mankind.
 
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Frostytouch

Active Member
BomoLad said:
How Starbuck (or similar) are quite daunting to those of us who rarely frequent them. I have to walk in slowly so I've enough time to sufficiently read the contents of the board before I'm served. I order varying things whenever I do go and I've not been able to notice the difference with any of them. They're all vaguely different types of the same coffee it seems. Once I got one which had ice and a lid on it, which was different. But I got to drink it through a straw so I was happy.

The huddle around the counter at the end annoys me too. But funny when two people already there have the same order. I'm always a bit tense in case someone has the same as me and then I go to collect their coffee and they'll think I'm frightfully rude.

***

Euphemisms for being annoyed.

Gets my goat

Grinds my gears

Pulls my chain

or whatever.
The way you can't just order a large or small coffee in those places, but have to ask for those stupid names like vente.
 

BomoLad

Well-known Member
The way you can't just order a large or small coffee in those places, but have to ask for those stupid names like vente.
I ask for the size as I know them 'small, large' etc, and they'll repeat back to me the size in their speak. I usually nod and confirm that's right. It's as irritating as young into a fast food place and asking for a coke and being told 'You mean pepsi?'. Well, yes, fine.

God, and people who sit there and read. Why? Can't you make coffee at home?
 
I ask for the size as I know them 'small, large' etc, and they'll repeat back to me the size in their speak. I usually nod and confirm that's right. It's as irritating as young into a fast food place and asking for a coke and being told 'You mean pepsi?'. Well, yes, fine.

God, and people who sit there and read. Why? Can't you make coffee at home?
Worse than the readers are the people writing their "novels" on their MacBooks or using Starbucks as an office.
 
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