An Uncle going to a school play?School plays. I don't have children but as uncle it's a role I've performed occasionally. Sitting at the back, gushing parents. Completely wooden performances by the children. Man with a camera everyone knows is probably there to record it officially with permission but...still it's 2013 and we've nowt to do but get suspicious. Then the palm-bruising moral clap at the end, including to say how 'wonderful' Mrs Mop was for putting it all together.
The only pleasure I get is during the 'refreshments' after, the look on someone's face when I answer 'none' to the question 'which one is yours?'
From a dad that has 2 kids playing football 4 times a week the matches are more likeHMHB said:What about
Nice dive James <clap> <clap>
Great spitting Wayne <clap> <clap>
Excellent lump of snot from your nose to the floor Pete <clap> <clap>
Superb cheating Dave <clap> <clap>
James, Wayne, Pete & Dave???????Steve!Stu! Bob! Jim! Susan! Graham!
Excellent, you've cheered me up no end with thatFrom a dad that has 2 kids playing football 4 times a week the matches are more like
'Push him back Taylor'
'If he hits you smack Him back Kyle'
'Are you f-ing blind ref-ignore the ref Jordan he doesn't know what he f--- he's talking about'
" you're number 7 is a f- ing cheat you c---, I don't care if she's only 7 you should be ashamed, c'mon Beyonce we're not staying for this s---'
"Don't you find some of the parents behaviour disgraceful Tarquinius, I was talking to my husband you &£@&£( ?&)@! So ?£)&& off!"
James, Wayne, Pete & Dave???????
When did you guys last go to a kids football match...the 70's??!!
Today kids are called
Middle class = Oliver, Zachary, George, Stanley, Alfie, Archy, Rubin, Freddy, Jake, Sonny etc
Working Class = Taylor, Kyle, Kaden, Jordon, Bailey, Tyson, India, Storm, Breeze etc (any weather condition, country or a surname translated into a Christian name will do).
^^ the above is a massive generalisation - no offence intended ;o)
You had better not be talking about the gorgeous Judith Ralston!I find that Scottish weather woman annoying when she says "for a fwhee fwhile" - yes I know it's just her accent but it gets on me every time she says it.
The way you can't just order a large or small coffee in those places, but have to ask for those stupid names like vente.BomoLad said:How Starbuck (or similar) are quite daunting to those of us who rarely frequent them. I have to walk in slowly so I've enough time to sufficiently read the contents of the board before I'm served. I order varying things whenever I do go and I've not been able to notice the difference with any of them. They're all vaguely different types of the same coffee it seems. Once I got one which had ice and a lid on it, which was different. But I got to drink it through a straw so I was happy.
The huddle around the counter at the end annoys me too. But funny when two people already there have the same order. I'm always a bit tense in case someone has the same as me and then I go to collect their coffee and they'll think I'm frightfully rude.
Euphemisms for being annoyed.
Gets my goat
Grinds my gears
Pulls my chain
I ask for the size as I know them 'small, large' etc, and they'll repeat back to me the size in their speak. I usually nod and confirm that's right. It's as irritating as young into a fast food place and asking for a coke and being told 'You mean pepsi?'. Well, yes, fine.The way you can't just order a large or small coffee in those places, but have to ask for those stupid names like vente.
Worse than the readers are the people writing their "novels" on their MacBooks or using Starbucks as an office.I ask for the size as I know them 'small, large' etc, and they'll repeat back to me the size in their speak. I usually nod and confirm that's right. It's as irritating as young into a fast food place and asking for a coke and being told 'You mean pepsi?'. Well, yes, fine.
God, and people who sit there and read. Why? Can't you make coffee at home?