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Telling someone you love them...

I've been seeing my boyfriend for four months now, and we haven't said the big L word yet. Sometimes it's on the tip of my tongue and I chicken out! Sometimes I get the feeling it's on the tip of his tongue also - btw, took us three dates to have our first kiss.

What would you guys recommend? am I making to bigga deal out of this like my work colleagues suggest.

Dawn
 

kav

Distinguished Member
I don't mean to sound blunt here, just being honest with how I would do (and have done):

If you feel it, say it. Even if he doesn't feel the same you will know it rather than wasting any more time than you have to. If he does feel the same then it's superfunhappytime for you both.

I think people (women or men) generally appreciate a direct approach. Not forceful or overbearing, just direct. Otherwise it falls into mind games and second guessing and that is just unbearable, not just for you but for friends and colleagues who have to [-]listen to[/-] endure the speculation of what he might be thinking or what his true intentions are etc etc instead of just, you know, actually talking to him about it. :D

Sorry I got distracted there thinking about the habits of some of my female friends...I'm sure you're nothing like them. ;)
 
Say what you feel....I was in the same sort of situation with my girlfriend....I was scared to say it first...but decided I shouldn't hide my feelings. Now 7 years on....I can't say it was a bad decision....though...she never said it back to me that first time...:eek:
 
I think I've made it into a big thing, gonna be brave and say it when it feels right next time :)
 

Miss Mandy

Moderator
Just go ahead and say it. If you keep pondering over it, it becomes a big thing and can make things awkward.
 

Miss Chief

Well-known Member
I assume this is the same guy you had doubts about a few months ago? Sounds like it's going well.

To be honest you're both probably waiting as your nervous about it. Just bloody well say it!!!
 

Badger0-0

Distinguished Member
Say what you feel....I was in the same sort of situation with my girlfriend....I was scared to say it first...but decided I shouldn't hide my feelings. Now 7 years on....I can't say it was a bad decision....though...she never said it back to me that first time...:eek:
My missus of 12 years said it to me after quite a short while.
And it bloody scared me!

The reason being that although I felt the same, I'd only split up with the mother of my 3 kids after 17 years, a couple of months previously and thought I might not be thinking straight, or "on the rebound" if you like.

Hence I told her I wanted to just stay friends for a while because we were having fun :rolleyes: :blush: and see how it goes.

But when I was convinced it was the right thing (and I think it might have been another 4-5 months later), I reciprocated the feeling :smashin:

The point is dudeness, it doesn't necessarily mean anything if it's not immediately reciprocated and I agree with ck1985.
 

shodan

Distinguished Member
What is this L word you speak of...?

;-)
 

Berties

Banned
Always make sure when you say "I love you" your eyes glance over to your prize possession, ie your Porsche 911 Turbo

;-)
 
Miss Chief said:
I assume this is the same guy you had doubts about a few months ago? Sounds like it's going well.

To be honest you're both probably waiting as your nervous about it. Just bloody well say it!!!
It is the same guy and it's gone really well I see his kids all the time, his 'ex' is still a problem but we cope with her.

:)
 

Desmo

Member
kav said:
I think people (women or men) generally appreciate a direct approach. Not forceful or overbearing, just direct. Otherwise it falls into mind games and second guessing and that is just unbearable, not just for you but for friends and colleagues who have to [-]listen to[/-] endure the speculation of what he might be thinking or what his true intentions are etc etc instead of just, you know, actually talking to him about it. :D
This is probably THE best and yet most simple relationship advice anyone can give and it's something I always say. So many people over think situations and then mind games start along with all the what if's of a thousand scenarios running through your head. Just be up front and honest and what's happens is what happens :)
 

Desmo

Member
Like I said, just be honest :D
 

Mr.D

Distinguished Member
Said it after months and also said it after a few days .

Both worked out fine ( the after a few days ones initially thought I was a screaming nutter but I was proven to be correct and reciprocated after a couple of weeks), if you genuinely feel it then say it...unless you are a nutter who says it to everyone :D

In which case you probably want some tablets and some counselling :love:

Also funny old thing love , once you fall in love with someone I personally believe you always love them despite whatever happens later , even if you can't stand them, you still love them at a fundamental level.
 
Am seeing him tonight, if the moment is right I'm going to be brave!
 

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