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Teenage Kids Addicted to MSN

Discussion in 'Parents Forum' started by scrapbook, Jul 20, 2005.

  1. scrapbook

    scrapbook
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    Any of you guys out there have any experience with their kids being addicted to MSN Messenger?

    Our 14yr daughter comes home from school and is generally straight on it until bed time, give or take the odd break or two!

    She is naive enough to keep a copy of some of her converstions, so I had a look (I know i shouldn't have) and :eek:!

    Anyone had the same issue and how did you deal with it?

    ...and before anyone asks....no you can't have her msn addy!! :D
     
  2. gooner#14

    gooner#14
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    WHAT WERE THE CONVERSATIONS ABOUT ???? my lad goes on it same as ur gal and i record all his convos so i can see if hes being a tit kids are kids @ the end of the day how old is she?
     
  3. themoid

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    just out of interest, do they know you record their conversations ? not been funny or anything, just looking for future tips :D for my 15 month old
     
  4. Dr Diversity

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    Are you naive enough to believe that she doesn't know you are monitoring her. She is probably teasing you or just leaving you the mild stuff :eek:
     
  5. eviljohn2

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    Well if she's using it then presumably somebody (or a number of people) are using it at the other end too so perhaps you should have a word with their parents about it and arrange some limits as if it were a phone conversation. :)
     
  6. HMHB

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    You know they are addicted when they start using the word "lol" in general conversation !
     
  7. eviljohn2

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    I have a similar problem, on the rare occasions that I use MSN I keep using forum text like :rotfl: :suicide: :blush:.
     
  8. stevegreen

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    How did you manage to stop those words in ':' not displaying the smiley?

    I can't :censored: do it
     
  9. eviljohn2

    eviljohn2
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    There's a box at the bottom of the Reply page in the Miscellaneous Options that lets you disable smilies. :)
     
  10. mcfarfs

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    Tell her she can't spend her whole evening on the computer! Limit her to one or two hours an evening, and chuck her off if she doesn't obey.

    Tbh, spending that amount of time per evening on the computer is unhealthy anyway, regardless of what she is doing. Does she not have homework to do or something?!
     
  11. mjn

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    Or real friends!
     
  12. Mep

    Mep
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    that's a bit harsh, if she's anything like my daughter it will be her 'real' friends she is talking to. It's not a chat room.
     
  13. Seth Gecko

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    It's a setting inside MSN Messenger - it keeps the history if you want. However there are other mechanisms, should they disable it.

    Personally speaking, while I agree about limiting access and use, being "addicted" to MSN and knowing where they are in some ways is better than them being out and addicted to other substances.

    However, we all know about internet "predators" so some common sense should hopefully apply here :)
     
  14. mjn

    mjn
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    Why not simply meet up at somebody house?

    I'm beginning to wonder how i coped as a kid without internet access... :rolleyes:
     
  15. Miyazaki

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    I remember being quite addicted to a programme called ICQ as a teenager (don't know if it is still around). It is a bit sad TBH to be stuck on a PC all day every day at that age, I snapped out of it when I discovered beer :D
     
  16. Mep

    Mep
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    I know exactly what you mean but my daughters friends don't all live conveniently close to home (and I imagine most folk are similar) and I do enough taxi runs for her already....and I certainly don't want her using buses at night time.
    Plus, times do change....I'm sure we would have done the same if we had the technology...but when I waqs a kid they only had the technology to rebuild Steve Austen :)
     
  17. Mep

    Mep
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    ICQ is still very much around (http://www.icq.com/download/)...but still less fun than beer
     
  18. mjn

    mjn
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    Sod that....outside in nice weather, or sat at PC? What a choice!

    Outside wins every time!
     
  19. Mep

    Mep
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    hmm true......I don't seem to have any memories at all of being indoors as a kid...we were always out all day on our bikes, or building camps in the woods, or running around in streams getting bitten to buggery by bugs.
    But then my daughter is out most days (when not at college) and then they just carry on chatting via MSN in the evenings (it's not a 24x7 thing)
     
  20. Eddy Boy

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    Just to give another view most of my friends are now at uni up and down the country or have moved from home etc, MSN is the only way i can think to keep in touch and over brand band its a lot cheaper then a phone call, you can send pictures and sound files across as you chat. but i do agree that we all have more to life then MSN and its good to get out once in a while...
     
  21. Miyazaki

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    We first got the internet when I was 13, so I have had it now almost half my life. Youngsters these days don't know life without it and it has become an integral part of their lives just as TV was with their parents when they were young.
     
  22. GJC

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    If you've have ever visited FaceMeet, FaceParty, Lookitsme etc, then MSN is pretty much the next step of convo/meeting up after the initial intro hook.

    I do think in terms of dating its safer than going out to a nightclub etc, at least you can question the other person (view them on webcam), then decide to meet face to face.

    Hell it worked for me, after 12 years with my ex, Im now with a lovely lady from one of the above site.

    ----

    With regards to the 14 year old, at least its cheaper than using a mobile but she is on there a long time! Saying that I would spend 3-4 hours giving it a bash too - the MSN that is!
     
  23. scrapbook

    scrapbook
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    What "other" mechanisms are there?

    The 'Mrs' is quiet worried about it......but I think that is mainly because she remembers what she was like when she was 14 :devil:
     
  24. Toasty

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    Things I've learnt from my daughters msn usage:

    - Its another form of communication that keeps her ties with her friends which are always strong at this age. I remember me and my friends being restricted if not banned from the telephone as we'd spend too much time on the phone at this age given the opportunity. Anyone else remember those Dial locks for the old style phones? Pants, I felt a hundred typing that :eek: So MSN is a cheaper option than large phone bills and dreaded mobile phone credit top ups!

    - I have monitored conversations, but you must remember they speak as friends and its a language you will not hear them speak in front of you and must be treated as such. So I only keep an eye out for potential problems, for example, I tend to make sure she knows everyone in her contacts list and query anyone who may be a stranger. (This is also quite an eye opener, have you seen what they display as user names, very odd)

    - One exception to the above is flaming. I clamp down on any nasty arguments and general abuse as I've seen problems that spin into real life. People can be braver behind the keyboard and I've told her she should not say things over MSN she wouldn't say to their face.

    - Talking to your daughter over MSN is really, really odd.


    Usage has not been a problem as we have one home PC between 4, so everyone gets a timeslice.
     
  25. Gary D

    Gary D
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    some of you may have heard this before but it might be quite pertinant now: if you have kids and they use the web please read - and remember - it CAN happen to you!

    back in the dark ages (1999/2000) my eldest daughter spent loads of time on the web in chat rooms ICQ, MSN etc etc. We kept an eye on what she was doing and thought we were ok. after a few months we started to relax with it all and thought that everything was cool.

    one day i got home from work to find a letter for my daughter (she was 15 at the time) it looked really official (stamped Virgin on the back)- so Mrs D and myself discussed what it might be and if we should open it? after much soul searching we decided that we should open it - :eek:

    when we did we found a ONE way ticket to Glasgow that was in her name but paid for with my credit card (yes that right yiou leave them lying round the house in your wallet all the time). it had been purchased on the virgin trains website two days before.

    when she got home from school we sat her down for a "chat" to find out what was going on. it transpired that she had be "chatting" to some guy on the web and she was off to be with him. Our lovely "normal" daughter was about to run off with a total stranger. We were pole-axed by this, we thought she was fine, never did we think that she would do this or that she even had any problems. (Mrs D was very very upset by all this)

    i checked the PC (i'm an engineer after all :rolleyes: ) and found some of the "chats" hey had had. christ - i wanted to kill him!!! She had his name, address, home phone number and mobile number. i ripped the phone out of the house, took her mobile off her and trashed the PC so she couldn't use it. i called West Midlands police and was told hat tey really weren't interested "but a man has been encouraging my daughter to run away and she is a minor" - "there is nothing we can do sir no laws have been broken"

    So i phoned the glasgow police - who were FANTASTIC. they really wanted to know! an officer went to the address i gave him and had a "word". he told me later that the guy was a "mental out-patient" - and that he wouldn't be contacting my daughter again.

    the point of this is not to frighten people, but to show how much as a parent you dont know! You should ALWAYS make sure you know what they are doing, yes you have to respect their privacy of course and allow them freedom and trust. But you must keep up to speed with what they are doing and finding the middle ground can be very tricky.

    both my girls are ok now, steady boyfriends and jobs. but some teenagers aren't so lucky. dont let yours be one of them - teenagers might look grown up but they are still children.


    Gary
     
  26. GJC

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    MSN Messenger and Yahoo messenger have message archive - make sure there activated if you have any concerns. Not sure about the other chat programs out there.
     
  27. mcfarfs

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    Thats pretty scary, your daughter probably ahd a very lucky escape.
     
  28. scrapbook

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    Is there any other way of checking? The message archive is easy to turn off presumably by the user.
     
  29. scrapbook

    scrapbook
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    Anybody used 'invisiblekeylogger'?
     
  30. martian1

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    A friend of mine living with his girlfriend has a daughter who is very much addicted. He has said the other day he went online and when the daughter came in from school she became very aggresive because he was on the pc :eek:
    How long will you be?
    hurry up!
    i need to go on
    etc..etc..
    Then she was straight on MSN apparently he has since learnt [catching her out ] that the kids are exchanching sexual poses of each other..as a laugh! :eek: :rolleyes:
    This may be a joke but in the wrong company!... we all know were this could lead :( He is so worried he has began to try and wipe MSN ...What fury this has brough the poor guy, he has no say as the mother sides with the kids :mad:
    I am going to do a registry hack to stop it being re-installed :rolleyes:
     

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