Stroke

DrPhil

Distinguished Member
And last but not least, advice for everyone here...

Get your affairs in order. Make a will, appoint POA, prepare. I'm only in my early 40s but in the next 10 years I'll be making plans for the worst case scenario. Setting up trusts, signing things over when possible.

My dad was, not a cheapskate, but a very frugal man. He grew up poor and worked hard to build his farm so he could leave something to his kids.

He was properly fuming when he found out that the home was costing €900+ per week. Funny enough he was also really proud of me that I had figured out a way to minimise the costs. From then on and even deep into his dementia, he still sees me as the money man. When I visit he asks if the invoices for sheep food are up to date and the electric bills are paid. 🥲

That's how I knew last week that he had finally recognised me, as soon as it clicked he asked if I'd brought food for the dogs.
 

ashenfie

Well-known Member
My 84 year old Mum suffered a stroke two weeks ago. When I arrived at A&E I was told by the doctor that she probably wouldn't live longer than 24 hours as the bleed on her brain was so bad. Here I am 2 weeks later and she is still with us although she's being fed through a tube and she is bedridden.
Long term, the doctors can't predict how she will be but I doubt she'll ever be able to return home.

She can communicate with me but her speech is impaired and is difficult to understand at times. She's also quite confused and doesn't remember much of what is going on day to day.

Just wondered if anyone else here had or has experience of dealing with Stroke in their lives and if they could perhaps share their stories and any advice.
Sadly the same happen about a year ago with my mum. They said that would not revive her, if her heart stopped. She has total loss of her left side and can use her right arm.

Due to COVID it was a 9months before I or my dad could visit. She has come out recently and I am able too see her now. She can't hear or see when but her cognitive function is very good. It a lot of work for two people every to look after her.
And this is where we are today
 

ashenfie

Well-known Member
And last but not least, advice for everyone here...

Get your affairs in order. Make a will, appoint POA, prepare. I'm only in my early 40s but in the next 10 years I'll be making plans for the worst case scenario. Setting up trusts, signing things over when possible.

My dad was, not a cheapskate, but a very frugal man. He grew up poor and worked hard to build his farm so he could leave something to his kids.

He was properly fuming when he found out that the home was costing €900+ per week. Funny enough he was also really proud of me that I had figured out a way to minimise the costs. From then on and even deep into his dementia, he still sees me as the money man. When I visit he asks if the invoices for sheep food are up to date and the electric bills are paid. 🥲

That's how I knew last week that he had finally recognised me, as soon as it clicked he asked if I'd brought food for the dogs.
If it's a stroke and you mum is in the uk , it's continuation of care and the responsibility of the local health authority to fund the care.
 
Last edited:

RicksonGracie1972

Distinguished Member
If it's a stroke and you mum is in the uk , it's continuation of care and the responsibility of the local health authority to fund the care.
Yes we are in the UK, however I thought that my Mum would have to fund any nursing/care home herself as she has assets in excess of £22k?
 
D

Deleted member 843310

Guest
My dad had 3 huge strokes and TIA's (mini one's in between each).

The first one was a few months after my mum died from cancer and it was a complete shock.

It was in spring 2000 and he was 59, so relatively young.

He was really healthy too. He wasn't a smoker or over weight and didn't drink a lot. He exercised loads and ate really healthy.

He ended up in rehab for 2 months and was in a wheelchair for months afterwards.

The stroke completely paralysed his right side.

However, he was militant in doing regular physio every day and never gave up trying to get himself better.

It was inspirational really.

Sadly he never regained the full use of his right arm which meant he had to give up work as he was right handed and walked with a limp which got worse over the years.

The 2nd huge one was about 6 years later and this one affected his speech and writing skills.

Again, he worked really hard with the speech therapists and took all the help he could to try and get back to where he was.

His speech did improve somewhat and so did his writing skills but it was a never quite the same and again over time, they all deteriorated.

The final one 6 years later was the worst and basically was the beginning of the end.

The consultants warned us that with the amount of strokes he was likely to develop vascular dementia and to prepare ourselves for a difficult time ahead.

My brother instantly took charge and got power of attorney.

My dad stayed in his own home in Edinburgh for about 2/3 years with carers going in 3 times a day.

Then one day a neighbour found him wandering around the streets, not knowing where he was and we knew it was time to have him put in a home.

He had to sell his home to fund it and we chose a fantastic one in Raynes Park, near my brother in Surbiton.

We actually regretted not moving him into one sooner so that he could enjoy some of the activities a bit more but we did the best we could.

It was painful watching the vascular dementia take him though.

By the end he couldn't walk, became totally incontinent and lost the ability to talk. His muscles were essentially shutting down everywhere so he'd also choke easily, meaning he could only have soft foods.

He passed in December 2019 but his strength and determination to fight was admirable.

I always took my dogs with me from York to Raynes Park in Surrey and his eyes would always light up with delight at seeing them.

Like the others have said, get power of attorney and have all the legal documents ready.

It's seriously tough emotionally and mentally on you, so I really feel for you.

Remember to look after yourself, too.
 

ashenfie

Well-known Member
Yes we are in the UK, however I thought that my Mum would have to fund any nursing/care home herself as she has assets in excess of £22k?
That would be the case if she was not receiving and needing continuing care. She has had a stoke and therefore she needs treating for that stoking and it's called continuance of care. My mum has 4 care works who visit her at home twice a day and thats funded by the local health authority.
 

smudger44

Active Member
Seeing the last few days of my mother, father, mother-in-law, father-in law and even my beloved wife, seeing them in hospital or in a home with no hope of ever leading even the basics of a normal life again, if given the chance I would have pulled the "off switch" rather than see them suffer. I just hope if i get to a stage like that rather than occupy a valuable bed in a home of hospital just prolonging life with no hope, some kind person would just let me die peacefully. I am a firm believer when there is no hope of euthanasia, were do not let our loved pets suffer, when their life is near the end, why not humans.
 

The latest video from AVForums

AVForums Movies Podcast: Streaming Theatrical Releases And The Future Of Cinema
Subscribe to our YouTube channel
Support AVForums with Patreon

Top Bottom