Sheltered housing ?

Sign of the times

Active Member
My dad passed away last year , my mum lives in the detached house on her own and is feeling quite lonely
We went to look at a over 60s flat today and it seemed very nice ( communal area etc ) the ladies i spoke to seemed really nice
But i feel I’m putting her in “gods “ waiting room
Anyone else been in the same situation?

Cheers

Edit... it might read it my idea , it isn't it was my mums idea 👍
 
Last edited:

Plumsandpearls

Distinguished Member
My dad passed away last year , my mum lives in the detached house on her own and is feeling quite lonely
We went to look at a over 60s flat today and it seemed very nice ( communal area etc ) the ladies i spoke to seemed really nice
But i feel I’m putting her in “gods “ waiting room
Anyone else been in the same situation?

Cheers
My mum ran a sheltered scheme, and it was a live in post so I grew up in one.
You have your own flat so it's not like an old folks home at all. It is what you make of it of course, but there was always regular parties, social events, trips and the rosary:)
I think they are a great idea.
 

ssbib

Distinguished Member
Maybe you could look at alternatives such as social prescribers or a befriending service. There are plenty of things out there for people who just need some companionship.
 

scottydog

Active Member
My mum has lived in sheltered housing for 15 years. She decided to do it herself when my dad died. On the whole it has worked out fine. The positives are that she feels safe and she doesn’t need to worry about maintenance problems. The social events can be a bit tricky. She says she feels pressured into joining in. I think that’s possibly more likely to be encouragement than pressure. She had never lived in a flat before and even after 15 years she still finds the sound of others moving around difficult.
It was the right thing for her to do but I’m glad it was her decision to do it.
 

Mainly Lurking

Well-known Member
I think she wants to go , but its the realisation that she will need to downsize and its a old folks home
The plan is she will be staying with my sister for a few months each year 100 mile away
It's your mums feelings that matter. It's a huge upheavel especially after she's lost her husband so nerves and doubts are normal.
The first thing she needs to do is not think of it as an"old folks home", some of these places are more like cruise liners on land. The next is really answer why she wants to go and what does she expect.

If it is pure loneliness without any physical issues of looking after a large house etc then has she thought of doing some volunteering to get her out the house? If she's an animal lover maybe a dog would help - dog walkers love talking to each other.

Whatever she decides to do can't be made lightly and needs to be for the right reasons for her. Sending my best wishes to her and the rest of your family on finding the best solution
 

scottydog

Active Member
I think she wants to go , but its the realisation that she will need to downsize and its a old folks home
The plan is she will be staying with my sister for a few months each year 100 mile away
That’s one thing that stirs up the inmates no end. Calling it an old folks home 😂! They have a point since you can move in from the age of 50. And I’ve seen them get up to things that definitely raised my eyebrow!
 

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