Screaming child quandary

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by MrFraggle, Apr 8, 2018.

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  1. MrFraggle

    MrFraggle
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    Twice recently I have noticed that the neighbour below me has allowed their young daughter, I think she is around 2 ish cry it's little heart out, in fact cry is not really the right word, scream would be a more realistic description. This can go on for at least an hour or so. The sound is more noticeable because they have, hated by me, laminated floors, which reflect sound rather than absorbing as a carpet would, and will penetrate plaster board ceilings with ease given the rubbish sound insulation in the 1925 built blocks of flats.

    I do not think physical abuse is going on just some bizarre tough love learning regime. But it is not right that a child so young should be in such distress.

    For all I know she might always have behaved this way as for now she is sleeping below me whilst her own room is being refurbished and given that he has little get up and go when it comes to doing stuff around the house she could be in the main bedroom below me for some time to come and I certainly do not want to have to listen to and do nothing.

    I feel I should say something but it is a difficult subject to broach without seeming to be accusing or interfering.
     
  2. shahedz

    shahedz
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    My daughter can wake up on her own accord from an afternoon nap and cry for no reason for over an hour - fun times!

    Have to say before I became a parent any length of crying can be unsettling, now with 2 under my belt you quickly become accustomed to it.
     
  3. MrFraggle

    MrFraggle
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    And how do you deal with it, do you just ignore it as my neighbour seems to?
     
  4. rustybin

    rustybin
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    My youngest son went through that phase. We put him in his cot where he couldn't hurt himself. Just screaming and headbutting the floor etc - would easily go on for 30-45 mins at a time, once or twice a day. Terrible twos. Lasted 2-3 weeks.
     
  5. shahedz

    shahedz
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    I try and settle her but the “crying it out “ method is used by a lot of parents . No harm in being vigilante but kids crying for hours does happen!
     
  6. koeman

    koeman
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    don't live next door to me do you?
     
  7. DIYlady

    DIYlady
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    Parents of young children get bombarded with advice whether they want it or not.

    Some of that advice includes bring told to ignore crying when a child should be going to sleep (there are variations on this like going in and checking on the child at progressively longer intervals). It does work for many (not all) as the child learns to sleep rather than cry.

    Your neighbours may be trying a variation on this.
    Or they may just be experiencing the terrible twos when tantrums and screaming are common
    And some children just scream

    If you are concerned about neglect or abuse then call social services and explain your concerns. If not I would not say anything. Unless you know them well, be very careful what you say to the parents!

    Hopefully they are just trying a crying technique and after a few weeks it will either work or they will give up!
     
  8. MrFraggle

    MrFraggle
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    If it is normal then fine as I can bring it up in a very light hearted way and judge their response. To say nothing I don't think is really an option but I do not think it warrants the social services, god forbid.
     
  9. DIYlady

    DIYlady
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    If you possibly can, I'd really recommend that you wait at least two or three weeks before saying anything to see if it stops. Particularly if it's happening at a similar time each day.

    The parents may already be a little frazzled (most parents of two year olds are) and adding to their stress could sour your relationship
     
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  10. MrFraggle

    MrFraggle
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    That seems reasonable.
     
  11. shahedz

    shahedz
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    Out of curiosity , what would you say?
     
  12. MrFraggle

    MrFraggle
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    Keeping it light and friendly then something like 'any chance you could get your act together and get your brats room finished so that I do not need to listen to any more of her effing racket.' :)

    Failing that something like Marney has certainly got a pair of lungs on her.
     
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  13. shahedz

    shahedz
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    Lol [emoji23]
     
  14. leamspaceman

    leamspaceman
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    hqdefault.jpg
     
  15. mikemag

    mikemag
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    You could thank them for contributing to your PHD paper on the sound reflecting effects of laminate flooring, but it’s ok, they can stop now.
     
  16. MrFraggle

    MrFraggle
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    I loathe laminate flooring.
     
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  17. Redeye UK

    Redeye UK
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    More or less frazzled than the parents of a 9 month old? We were considering taking turns sleeping in the garage recently.

    I have to agree, any thoughts of 'bloody screaming kids' have been replaced by 'oh dear those poor parents' since our own little fella arrived.
     
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  18. Tempest

    Tempest
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    I seem to recall, as a child, being told something along the lines of:

    "If you don't stop crying, I'l give you something to cry about!"

    Ah, fond memories of childhood days gone by.
    I think I was probably in the 5 ish age range then.
     
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  19. NorvernRob

    NorvernRob
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    Our 2 year old has some absolutely mental strops, during which there is absolutely no reasoning with her. They’ve never lasted an hour, but several times she’s had 20 minutes solid forcing herself to scream, cry, lay on the floor kicking, throw herself backwards etc etc. To someone listening in it would probably sound like we’re beating her half to death. :rotfl:

    She’s a girl btw, our boy never did anything like that whatsoever.
     
  20. shahedz

    shahedz
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    Before I had kids, I never knew how a wrong coloured plate could absolutely ruin and upset a human's day.
     
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  21. Hixs

    Hixs
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    Kids scream/cry.
     
  22. Penski

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    Until around usually the age of 3 children can have wild tantrums.

    It's not bad parenting, it's life unfortunately, and before my own personal experience I might have either blamed the parents or the kid.

    Sometimes there's honestly nothing you can do to stop it.

    /Uncle of 4.
     
  23. safcalibur

    safcalibur
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    My daughter who is two and a half can have meltdowns for no reason! She cries and then forces herself to vomit, it's great fun (!) No reason why she does it, then she'll stop of her own accord. My sister came round one day just after an impromptu screaming session and thought we were to blame! We're riding it out at the mo but I'm one tantrum away from calling the exorcist...
     
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  24. imightbewrong

    imightbewrong
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    Yep - children make a lot of noise. We are 95% out of this now that ours are on the cusp of 5,7,9,11, however the youngest one can have the odd meltdown if things don't go her way and she is a bit frazzled.
     
  25. dmpzsn

    dmpzsn
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    I think all kids should be exterminated at birth. Save a lot of problems.:rotfl:
     
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  26. Doug the D

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    It may be 'controlled crying'. This is a technique that whilst a little distressing for parents/ child/ neighbours in the short-term, pays massive dividends in knocking the crying off quite quickly. I found this article which explains how controlled crying works, and how it should be done.

    What is controlled crying?

    The reason I put 'should' is that there are some people who are absolutely certain that this technique is nonsense. These are usually parents that do not follow the process to the letter, and wonder why it fails. It's very similar to the 'Naughty Step' process, in that it relies on the removal of engagement from the parents. Those that decry the naughty step methodology can usually be seen to engage the child in some way or another before complaining about how crap the naughty step is, when the whole underpinning of the method is ignoring the child 100%.

    My daughter is 12 now, and I can't recall how long the controlled crying would have been for individual occurences, however the whole process was done in around 3 weeks iirc.

    2 hours does seem like a long time to listen to a child screaming though, so I do feel for you!
     
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  27. Sonic67

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  28. Tempest

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    If I'm being very blunt here.
    If I did that as a child, my father would have hit me.
    Not saying that's the right thing to do, esp in today's world of modern parenting, but that would have been the case.
     
  29. jono987

    jono987
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    Same and it shut me up right quick I can tell you [emoji16]. Infact just hearing him coming up the stairs and I shut up instantly.
     
  30. DOBLY

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    Do you live in a leasehold property? What are the terms regarding floor coverings? If laminate isn't permitted - get on to the building owner, explain the situation and request that they enforce the rules.
    Alternatively, turn your music / film sound up to a level that drowns out the problem ;)
     
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