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Relationship with the in-laws

Naaktgeboren

Distinguished Member
This has got me curious now. I would describe my relationship with my father in law as frosty. We are both polite, exchanging greetings etc but... there are defiantly barriers in our relationship. I was thinking it was related to the fact that I moved to England with his daughter and he resented me for that although after talking to some friends tonight over a few beers, it seemed over half of them would also describe there relationship like mine.

Is this just the way it is? Are fathers of the bride supposed to create this kind of atmosphere? Is there a reason for this?? I would be interested to hear from any 'fathers in law' opinions as well as any other guys relationships with the in-laws.
 

lurcher

Prominent Member
Get on with mine fine its the M-I-L who I have never really got close to , dont want to either , see her Xmas day and thats about it , always polite but no feelings.
 

kopchoir

Banned
i get on ok with the woman hitler but the father is a litttle frosty at times just like yours
when my daughter gets older she is grounded until at least 35 and wont be allowed to leave the house so have to put into a perspective of when you have daughters of your own
 

Naaktgeboren

Distinguished Member
i get on ok with the woman hitler but the father is a litttle frosty at times just like yours
when my daughter gets older she is grounded until at least 35 and wont be allowed to leave the house so have to put into a perspective of when you have daughters of your own

Interesting what you say about your daughter... I have a 5 year old son who is a typical boy you know into everything, popular at school and confident, I don't worry about him so much. In the next few years maybe would like another child. I was wondering if I had a daughter, I realise I would be very protective over her....... hmm maybe I have answered my own question, the protective side to a relationship although we are not kids and have been married for 8 years.................
 

Ed Selley

Hi-Fi Editor
My In-Laws (to be at this point, I'm not marrying for a little while yet) are ace and we get on fine. My Mother in Law is allergic to many things which requires a little care and attention but otherwise we have a good relationship.

My life is made a little easier by the fact that my Father in Law has three daughters and my ersatz brothers in law haven't exactly blown his frock up at the moment.
 

GasDad

Remembered (1964-2012)
i get on ok with the woman hitler but the father is a litttle frosty at times just like yours
when my daughter gets older she is grounded until at least 35 and wont be allowed to leave the house so have to put into a perspective of when you have daughters of your own

35! blimey - thats a bit young. I've told mine 43........ off to polish my shotgun.


It really is a father/daughter thing - you know what you get up to, he knows you what you get up to (because unlikely as it sounds he did too) - but he just doesn't want to admit his little princess does anything like that.
 

johntheexpat

Distinguished Member
I wouldn't worry about it. At least you are civil to each other and if he isn't the sort of bloke that you would choose as a friend outside of a relationship with his daughter, why do you expect to be friends with him anyhow? It all goes back to the old adage that you can choose your friends but not your family. (Apart from the wife of course, but unfortunately you can pick the Wife/Husband but not the in-laws who seem to come as part of the package)
 

shafster

Established Member
luckily i get on with both of my girlfriends parents and have done since day one. its been almost 2 years now.... but then again im a nice guy and get along with most people :devil:
 

Lee

Moderator
A while after meeting my wife I moved into her house with her father (mother had moved away). To say it was turbulent is an understatement and the worst move I ever made. It seemed like he hated me and it got worse over time. Lived there a few years before we left.

Forward wind to today. He has become like a father to me. There is no comparison with how he was then to how he is now. Can only think it was living with him that caused the problem.
 

signs

Banned
A while after meeting my wife I moved into her house with her father (mother had moved away). To say it was turbulent is an understatement and the worst move I ever made. It seemed like he hated me and it got worse over time. Lived there a few years before we left.

Forward wind to today. He has become like a father to me. There is no comparison with how he was then to how he is now. Can only think it was living with him that caused the problem.

"Doing" his daughter under his roof might have had something to do with it ;) :D
 

AJUK

Established Member
I get on with my gf's mum fine, the odd thing does annoy me though ie when my lad (4) was eating his meal happily (around her house) she says don't worry if you don't want to eat it all, just eat what you want. He then says 'ok i'm full now', why couldn't she just leave him alone, he was eating fine ! Other times when the kids havn't been behaving or whatever, they'll go out and come back with loads of stuff, i'm like yeah that'll teach em !!!??

Not really big issues though, just normaly what nan's do i suppose, so i don't mind. :D
 

Lee

Moderator
"Doing" his daughter under his roof might have had something to do with it ;) :D

:rotfl:...you could be right but in my defence is was quick and quiet.
 

eric pisch

Distinguished Member
i have been lucky

my first lot where great to me (Genuine pikeys, don't ask) like they didnt even break my legs when we split up.

and my current inlaws are fantastic, kind, warm and allways make me feel part of the family.

I suspect alot of anonymity FILs have are down to the fact your are humping his little angle, and MILs are down to the fact there jealous that there daughter has got a decent bloke whilst shes stuck with a useless lump.
 
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Cow Puncher

Established Member
My soon to be Father in Law (Wedding is on November 1st) is a complete cock! Standard old school man with old school ideas, he would rule with an iron fist when my better half was growing up and it's the whatever he say's goes attitude that we clash over.

I'm lucky that they live in Doncaster and We're in Newcastle so it's not as if they are around us much but he always seems to stick his nose in when it's not wanted.

I've got used to him now and just try to avoid him when ever i can, not going to be so easy to do it at the wedding though.

Smaz.
 

mjn

Distinguished Member
Can tolerate in-laws in very small doses!...like 30 mins or so.

My daughter has chickenpox at the moment, and the father-in-law volutenteered to stay for a the week, to help out. So, thats why on Monday, it was me that went to Waitrose (complete with daughter) for a few bits of shopping, washed up, did the washing, hung the washing out to dry (2 loads), looked after my daughter, changed my daughter's nappy, sorted her out when she cried, covered my daughter regularly in camoline lotion, cooked an evening meal, dealth with a wrong order with John Lewis.....and more.

So when after eating the evening meal i'd just made.....and there was a small amount of washing up to be done......i sat in the armchair with the daily newspaper.....to which the F-I-L quipped, "you sit down, i'll do the washing up, you don't deserve to rest though!" :eek:

So, you may be asking what the F-I-L was doing all day? On his laptop....watching TV, you know the important things! Some days, i feel like cutting the internet off, there is no need to check your ebay/e-mail every 5 mins is there?

There's plenty more rants about the in-laws, but they're not worth the typing to be honest.
 
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eric pisch

Distinguished Member
Can tolerate in-laws in very small doses!...like 30 mins or so.

My daughter has chickenpox at the moment, and the father-in-law volutenteered to stay for a the week, to help out. So, thats why on Monday, it was me that went to Waitrose (complete with daughter) for a few bits of shopping, washed up, did the washing, hung the washing out to dry (2 loads), looked after my daughter, changed my daughter's nappy, sorted her out when she cried, covered my daughter regularly in camoline lotion, cooked an evening meal, dealth with a wrong order with John Lewis.....and more.

So when after eating the evening meal i'd just made.....and there was a small amount of washing up to be done......i sat in the armchair with the daily newspaper.....to which the F-I-L quipped, "you sit down, i'll do the washing up, you don't deserve to rest though!" :eek:

So, you may be asking what the F-I-L was doing all day? On his laptop....watching TV, you know the important things! Some days, i feel like cutting the internet off, there is no need to check your ebay/e-mail every 5 mins is there?

There's plenty more rants about the in-laws, but they're no worth the typing to be honest.

oh yes they are, ill get some popcorn

I could tell some stories about my first lot, but it would definatly get deleted by the mods :)
 

kBm

Distinguished Member
There's plenty more rants about the in-laws, but they're not worth the typing to be honest.

oh yes they are, ill get some popcorn

:rotfl:

I went on hols a few years ago with the in-laws - awfull! The other half reverted back into the child role with her parents - left me in limbo - trying to force me into a similar child role - no friggin way!

The MIL didn't like me one bit at the start - but a lot can happen over the years, and after 9 years im like one of the family! :smashin:
 

heathen666

Distinguished Member
I get along fine with my inlaws, F.I.L lives in Canada, M.I.L lives in Egypt and I get to see them once every two years.. which is fine with me. :smashin:
 

Desmo

Distinguished Member
Technically not inlaws but the girlfriends parents and I get on great :)

They were happy for her to move to Essex from Wales with me so they must like me :D
First time I met her dad we had a farting competition...he liked me less after that as I beat him :rotfl:
He always tries to drag me down the pub too but drinking isn't really my thing.
We spend a lot of weekends staying down there so the GF can visit and I've not had one problem with them at all in 4 years.
 

mjn

Distinguished Member
oh yes they are, ill get some popcorn

Well, the other half broke the news, that he's thinking of selling his house, and moving to the same town as us :eek:

One of my worst nightmares, is having the in-laws living a few streets away, and them "just popping round" every other ****ing night!
 

Jenn

Distinguished Member
Well, the other half broke the news, that he's thinking of selling his house, and moving to the same town as us :eek:

One of my worst nightmares, is having the in-laws living a few streets away, and them "just popping round" every other ****ing night!

Wait for them to put an offer on some house then sell your house and move to a different town ! ;)

Saying that I have a good relationship with my MIL and I miss my FIL every day, he was very funny.
 

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