Quotes of the day.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by BName, Feb 15, 2014.

  1. BName

    BName
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    Status Shuffle on Facebook is a good time killer when your bored.


    Man says to a women "If you were my wife, I'd poison your drink." Women says to man "If you were my husband, I'd drink it!"

    Two tampons are walking down the street ; Which one speaks first? Neither one, because they are both stuck up bitches!

    Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks... They charged one and let the other one off

    Wonders why the only thing Know-it-all type people don't know is how annoying they are.

    apparently, common sense actually isn't that common...

    I read smoking was bad, so I quit smoking. I read drinking was bad, so I quit drinking. I read having sex was bad, so I quit reading.

    IT IS AZINMAG TAHT YOU CAN RAED WRODS WTIH LTETRES IN THE WONRG ODRER SO LNOG AS THE FRSIT AND LSAT LTETER ARE IN THE RGHIT PACLE.

    It's very easy for someone to take sides when they only know one of them.
    after eating an entire bull, a lion felt so good he roared. He roared until a hunter came & shot him. The Moral: when you're full of bull keep your mouth shut
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2014
  2. sniffer66

    sniffer66
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    My favourite cynical work one...

    "Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines"
     
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  3. reiteration

    reiteration
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    welcome to 1998 :)
     
  4. luvitloud

    luvitloud
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    Before you judge a man walk a mile in his shoes . Then judge him and you will be a mile away with a new pair of shoes
     
  5. Donnacha

    Donnacha
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    Life is like a hair on a toliet seat....you hang around for a while then you get p*ssed off !
     
  6. deantown

    deantown
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    It's an uphill fight with a broken sword !
     
  7. bluedroog

    bluedroog
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    Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we need to alter it every six months. Oscar Wilde

    Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it. Salvador Dali

    You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin
     
  8. hammers1

    hammers1
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    This is a genuine quote and the man referred to is Winston Churchill. Details here
    Churchill Drinking Poison
     
  9. monkeyfist

    monkeyfist
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    "Guns kill people"

    "If you believe this you better watch out for spoons coz apparently they make people fat"
     
  10. WeegyAVLover

    WeegyAVLover
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    my other quote of the day is hilarious!
     
  11. bluedroog

    bluedroog
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    I like the old classic Winston Churchill quote - "I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
     
  12. deantown

    deantown
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    It'll soon be the weekend !
     
  13. THE_FORCE

    THE_FORCE
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    "If you can't say anything nice, then we'll probably get along just fine"
     
  14. luvitloud

    luvitloud
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    Always shag like its your last one and a shag u knock back is a shag u will regret for life
     
  15. reiteration

    reiteration
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    indeed - always regret the things you have done rather than the things you haven't...
     
  16. sniffer66

    sniffer66
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    better
     
  17. reiteration

    reiteration
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    well, that's bascially what I meant... :D
     
  18. luvitloud

    luvitloud
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    You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friends nose
     
  19. RBZ5416

    RBZ5416
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    Marriage is like a game of cards. It starts off with two hearts & a diamond but in the end all you want is a club & a spade...
     
  20. Steve N

    Steve N
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    Candy is dandy
    But - Liquer is quicker
    :)
     
  21. blue max

    blue max
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    I rang to tell my elderly mother that the twin towers were falling after a terrorist attack. Her response was "well there's nothing I can do about it".

    It made me wonder if I'd just got in touch that bit sooner... :)
     
  22. luvitloud

    luvitloud
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    I'm addicted to brake fluid but I can stop any time I like
     
  23. andiuk007

    andiuk007
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    "It's your opinion, you're entitled to it, but you're wrong"
     

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