Proud to be British

Dfour

Prominent Member
Joined
Jan 19, 2004
Messages
4,105
Reaction score
90
Points
652
Location
Bracknell
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

Oh and...... Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain .. do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars. and finally.........

In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.


:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
 
Makes me pleased to be English and not British :D
 
been doing the rounds through chain email a for years some people get creative and change it to only in Australian or American though
 
Having just come back form a couple of weeks in the Med I despair at the British. Someone said on here recently that years ago you had to go to a circus to see grotesquely fat people and women with tattoos - now they're everywhere - and all British!

I saw one fine specimen of a man - it might have been two men actually there was so much of him - with a "British and Proud" tat on his upper arm. I took one look at him and thought I'm not proud that you're British. Obviously the tattooist couldn't spell "Neanderthal"

You can spot the Brits a mile off (fortunately so you can avoid them) as they will be the ones wearing nylon footie tops in 95 degree heat. I was away during the latter stages of the world cup, and was amazed to see the wide variety of item sporting the cross of St George - best of all was the seat of a kid's buggy - that was priceless. Amused my jock missus no end!

Brits Abroad - don't you just luv 'em?
 
GW43 said:
You can spot the Brits a mile off (fortunately so you can avoid them) as they will be the ones wearing nylon footie tops in 95 degree heat.

Nylon :confused: None of the football shirts are nylon mate, they are the same as what the footballers run around in the heat in !
 
Posting racist jokes ? Tut-tut ! :D
 
GW43 said:
Having just come back form a couple of weeks in the Med I despair at the British. Someone said on here recently that years ago you had to go to a circus to see grotesquely fat people and women with tattoos - now they're everywhere - and all British!

I saw one fine specimen of a man - it might have been two men actually there was so much of him - with a "British and Proud" tat on his upper arm. I took one look at him and thought I'm not proud that you're British. Obviously the tattooist couldn't spell "Neanderthal"

You can spot the Brits a mile off (fortunately so you can avoid them) as they will be the ones wearing nylon footie tops in 95 degree heat. I was away during the latter stages of the world cup, and was amazed to see the wide variety of item sporting the cross of St George - best of all was the seat of a kid's buggy - that was priceless. Amused my jock missus no end!

Brits Abroad - don't you just luv 'em?
Ru a sizeist?
 
GW43 said:
Having just come back form a couple of weeks in the Med I despair at the British. Someone said on here recently that years ago you had to go to a circus to see grotesquely fat people and women with tattoos - now they're everywhere - and all British!

I saw one fine specimen of a man - it might have been two men actually there was so much of him - with a "British and Proud" tat on his upper arm. I took one look at him and thought I'm not proud that you're British. Obviously the tattooist couldn't spell "Neanderthal"

You can spot the Brits a mile off (fortunately so you can avoid them) as they will be the ones wearing nylon footie tops in 95 degree heat. I was away during the latter stages of the world cup, and was amazed to see the wide variety of item sporting the cross of St George - best of all was the seat of a kid's buggy - that was priceless. Amused my jock missus no end!

Brits Abroad - don't you just luv 'em?


I think you'll find thats it is where you go on holiday - there are key places where those types go ... and if you happen to make the mistake of booking the same place then thats the impression you get.

There are far less of them in parts of the south coast of France as compared to the south of Spain.

If you go to Llorret de mar expect the yobbo's - if you pop up the coast a short ways you won't find them.
 
Fat people with tattos have never bothered me. Me thinks tghere is a bit of snobbery lurking in here. Think of the two Hairy Bikers - portly and tattoed but also very likeable
 
Ethics Gradient said:
I think you'll find thats it is where you go on holiday - there are key places where those types go ... and if you happen to make the mistake of booking the same place then thats the impression you get.

There are far less of them in parts of the south coast of France as compared to the south of Spain.

If you go to Llorret de mar expect the yobbo's - if you pop up the coast a short ways you won't find them.
Nope, sorry EG. You find them (unfortunatly) in places as exotic as the Alps (swiss), Italy, Greece (what were once 'quiet locations'), Berlin, Thailand, Hong Kong and St Tropez! The Brit aboad is a legendary species - for all the wrong reasons! And not just in recent years either.
 
la gran siete said:
Fat people with tattos have never bothered me. Me thinks tghere is a bit of snobbery lurking in here. Think of the two Hairy Bikers - portly and tattoed but also very likeable
Nor me! But then I see one every day looking back at me from the mirror! :D

However, I know what they mean. The large (huge) lumps sweating and swearing profusely, wearing gormless (often racist) T-shirts, shouting at the locals on the basis that the thick [insert nationality as appropriate] will understand them if they raise the volume up a few notches. They moan about their accomodation, the food, the service, even when theres not a thing wrong with any of it. They get blind drunk, trash bars, assault the locals and generally drag this countries name through the mud.

That's the type they mean.........
 
GW43 said:
Having just come back form a couple of weeks in the Med I despair at the British. Someone said on here recently that years ago you had to go to a circus to see grotesquely fat people and women with tattoos - now they're everywhere - and all British!

It's not just the Brits unfortunately - you can go to places in Thailand and see the same thing but the people are German... go to Mexico and it's Americans, etc. etc. I don't think the Brits are unique by any stretch of the imagination.
 
tomson said:
It's not just the Brits unfortunately - you can go to places in Thailand and see the same thing but the people are German... go to Mexico and it's Americans, etc. etc. I don't think the Brits are unique by any stretch of the imagination.
I would agree there. Germans abroad are no saints, nor are the Americans. However, they don't get drunk and indulge in mass violence they way our lot do.
 
I think we've got the balance about right to be honest .
 
overkill said:
. However, they don't get drunk and indulge in mass violence they way our lot do.


Complete rubbish,i've travelled abroad with england and the german, polish and dutch (the worse italian police) are as bad if not worse in some cases.
Fed up of the english getting the blame for eveything to tell the truth.:boring:
 
hunts1uk said:
Complete rubbish,i've travelled abroad with england and the german, polish and dutch (the worse italian police) are as bad if not worse in some cases.
Fed up of the english getting the blame for eveything to tell the truth.:boring:
We aren't talking about your football excursions. The thread is about English holidaymakers. :rolleyes: If you want to accuse people of talking rubbish, check what the thread is about first, come in with some facts, and that way you avoid talking rubbish yourself.
 
overkill said:
We aren't talking about your football excursions. The thread is about English holidaymakers. :rolleyes: If you want to accuse people of talking rubbish, check what the thread is about first, come in with some facts, and that way you avoid talking rubbish yourself.


Just gooners bring out the worse in me.:devil:
 
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

I really don't think there is any suspicion of anything foreign any more than in any other country. There are a few idiots of course but its not the general opinion. I think the rest of your paragraph shows that.

Oh and...... Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

76.2% of Category A calls resulted in an emergency response arriving at the scene of the incident within 8 mins (2005).

http://www.dh.gov.uk/PublicationsAn...reArticle/fs/en?CONTENT_ID=4113678&chk=dQQp+B

I don't know about your pizza place but not once have I received a pizza inside 15 mins. Certainly not 8.

Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

ok that amusing and often true.

Only in Britain .. do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Nothing wrong with that at all. Firstly some people prefer diet coke. Secondly you are talking about 200 calories or so difference. 200 calories is significant whatever you have eaten. You can have a bar of chocolate for that.

Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

why not? that don't want to have to keep replacing the pens, shutting the doors isn't going to make the bank any safer.

Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

Which are great to park in when you are a disabled ice hockey supporter.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

The vast majority of the statistics are simply made up and have no basis in reality especially this one.

It's probably possible to kill yourself with a 9v battery, if you attach a wire to each terminal and push each wire through your skin and have one wire on either side of your heart. I'd be surprised if 3 people in world history have managed to kill themselves with one though and none of them by putting it on their tongue. Certainly not 3 a year in Britain.

Only in Britain would some argumentative bugger refute a joke thread :D Although so many people read things like this that are meant to be funny and believe it.
 
hunts1uk said:
Just gooners bring out the worse in me.:devil:
:D Right back at ya! ;)
 
Noggin1980
The vast majority of the statistics are simply made up and have no basis in reality especially this one.

It's probably possible to kill yourself with a 9v battery, if you attach a wire to each terminal and push each wire through your skin and have one wire on either side of your heart. I'd be surprised if 3 people in world history have managed to kill themselves with one though and none of them by putting it on their tongue. Certainly not 3 a year in Britain.

Have to disagree,tried this last year...been dead for awhile now......:(
 

The latest video from AVForums

Is 4K Blu-ray Worth It?
Subscribe to our YouTube channel
Back
Top Bottom