Hi,
Welcome, one-and-all, to another TV Update! You may have noticed my absence over the past three or four weeks, and hence, the lack of updates. My apologies for this, but Ive basically had stuff to deal with, that had to take priority. Anyway, hopefully over the next three months or so, I should be able to do at least a couple of updates each month.
Anyway, I think it best that we get straight into why youre all here. Oh yes, I nearly forgot to say: this is an extremely long post around 14-pages of A4 paper! You may, therefore, prefer to simply cut and paste this post into Word, and print it out. This is, I think, the longest update Ive ever written for you, since starting this at the AV Forums! Either youre all lucky, lucky people, or else Ive gained masochistic tendencies!
Happy Viewing!
TV News
TCM now has a new, extra channel, that has come onto Sky Digital, in the past couple of weeks. TCM2 is on Sky EPG number 320. Airing each night, between 7pm and 3am, TCM2 will air classics from its numerous titles, at the same time, each day for an entire week (like FilmFour Weekly does). Admittedly, TCMs lack of new cinematic material, does mean that many of the films that both TCM and TCM2 air tend to get repeated a lot anyway, so Im not sure whether a second channel was really needed. However, both channels do frequently air the longer, and superior, US Theatrical Cut of Stanley Kubricks The Shining (running at approximately 144 minutes, compared to the UK Theatrical and DVD cut of just 113 minutes), and its in the proper 1.33:1 original ratio too! Highly recommended! TCM2s cycle of weekly films starts on a Sunday, and ends the following Saturday.
NYPD Blue fans take note! On the good side, you may have noticed that all episodes are now being shown without any DOGs! This is fantastic, and maybe its C4s way of apologising to NYPD Blues hardcore fans who have waited over three years to see these final three Seasons worth of episodes. Sadly, there is also bad news! For some bizarre and unexplained reason, episodes of NYPD Blue are now not only changing their timeslot most nights (starting as early as 10:50pm, or as late as 11:50pm), but for this week, episodes are only being aired once each evening, with no same-night 2am-ish repeat! So, youll now have just one chance to catch each episode, around Midnight, and then one hour later on More4 +1! I am hoping that next week, More4 will be reverting back to the two transmissions each night, but I dont have the info yet. Please be careful when setting your VCRs, DVD Recorders or Sky Plus boxes! Id hate for any of you to start missing any more episodes
like Ive recently done!
If you have managed to get Sky HD installed, and are wondering how you can find out what programmes are going to be in the HD format, or which have been upscaled from Standard Def format programming, then you may wish to purchase TV And Satellite Week from your local newsagent. Programmes are clearly marked with an HD note, for most satellite channels, so that you know which ones are which. Alternatively, you can always make-do with the ever-reliable Sky EPG.
Fans of short-lived TV sci-fi drama Roswell will be pleased to know that the Sci-Fi Channel has finally obtained the rights to air Seasons 2 and 3 of the show. No specific dates have been set yet, but they will probably air Season 2 over the Summer, and then Season 3 in the Autumn. And, for the first time in many, many years, Sci-Fi will be running all three original Classic Star Trek seasons, starting later in June. Each episode will be aired completely uncut, in digitally-remastered prints, and with every episode shown in the correct order. Highlights will be some of the several episodes that the BBC banned or cut, for having inappropriate or insensitive content. The original Pilot Episode The Cage is also due to air, hopefully in both the black-and-white format, and the coloured-updated version! Join Captain Kirk, Scotty and Uhura, as they all boldly go where no one (at that point) had gone before. More details, as they become available.
More sci-fi news. Non-Sky subscribers, and late-comers, will be pleased to hear that the hit US sci-fi remake of Battlestar Galactica, is likely to start airing on Sky 3 in the very near future. At the moment, Sky can only air the original Mini-Series / Pilot Movie, and then the 13 episodes that make up Season 1. Season 2 should then follow next year around the same time, by which point Season 3 will almost have finished on Sky 1 and 2.
Huff gets a complete Season 1 rerun, from the end of June, on FX, and then Season 2 will get its UK premiere, straight after! This excellent, dark, witty and satirical drama stars Simpsons voice-artiste Hank Azaria as a psychologist who is forced to confront his own emotions, when a patient commits suicide in a counselling session. To make matters worse, the parents want to sue him, whilst his best friend is determined to be Huffs legal advisor, but ends up only making things worse. Huffs mother and disabled brother arrive on the scene; he begins to hallucinate that people on the street are talking about him, and his own son discovers the wonderful world of Rainbow parties! One of the most criminally-underrated gems in the TV schedules of last year, this is superb stuff. If you havent seen this show, yet, Id thoroughly recommend it. Just be warned, though: the show contains explicit language throughout, not too dissimilar to Deadwood!
ITV4 has another new US crime drama for us, starting on Saturday 17th June, at 9pm. The Big Apple stars Ed ONeill (Married With Children, Dragnet), Michael Madsen (Reservoir Dogs, Vengeance Unlimited), Titus Welliver (Brooklyn South), David Strathairn and Glynn Turman. Madsen takes on the role of a contract killer and ex-police informant who decides he wants New York to himself. ONeill heads the FBI team who are keen to capture or execute their former employee, but the rest of the FBI, the Russian Mafia, and some of New Yorks criminals under Madsens control, have very different ideas. The Big Apple is about to be hit by one of the biggest man-hunts ever, and nothing is going to get in the way! This should be very good, from what Ive heard, and I look forward to seeing the Pilot Episode later next month.
Steven Spielbergs HBO mini-series Band Of Brothers is to air in June, as five separate movies, combining the original ten parts together, into weekly two-hour (approx) movies. The series starts on Friday 23rd, at 9:00pm.
Veronica Mars returns, with the start of Season 2, on LivingTV on Thursday 8th June, at 9pm. The first episode concludes some of the threads from the end of the first Season, and starts to set-up some major new themes for Season 2, including some new characters and the end of some old faves! Guest stars include Lucy Lawless (Xena: Warrior Princess, Battlestar Galactica), Kevin Smith (director of Clerks), Alyson Hannigan and Charisma Carpenter (both from Buffy), and even TV and movie honcho Joss Whedon!
Prison Break fans may be shocked by the following news: not only has a Second Season been confirmed, (and which will begin filming very soon), but then some of the shows themes and characters will continue into an already partly-planned Season 3. Each Season of this stunning drama show, will be similar to Babylon 5, in the sense that it will be relatively self-contained, but also cover the beginning, middle and end of a complex, overall trilogy, that the shows creator Paul T Scheuring has been working on for the past two years or so! As such, we can expect many more major events to take place, and the introduction of more unhinged characters who become part of something far-more shocking than any of the characters could ever imagine!
Supernatural comes to its end on Sunday 16th June. No news has been made for a Second Season, but ratings havent been great in the USA, although they have been relatively stable. Expect a decision to be made, by the end of June.
Lastly, although many of us complain about OFCOM, be grateful you dont live in the USA. Across the Atlantic, the Federal Communications Commission (or FCC), is hassling the major US networks to reduce the level of violence, adult themes and swearing in many of their most popular shows, or they will be heavily fined! At the moment, channels like ABC, NBC, Fox, and CBS are being worn-down by the FCC, with hefty fines for programming that breaches some of the very tight restrictions that are now being re-introduced, thanks to the bible-bashing southerners who insist on organising major campaigns that can pull vast amounts of money from many of the most famous organisations, sponsors, and companies. Such is the power, of these people! (Examples, could include Disney refusing to sponsor any company who airs adult or mature shows. Sponsorship and advertising budgets could be slashed!) This is after the infamous Janet Jackson/SuperBowl costume-incident, where Jackson accidentally exposed her nipple, due to a wardrobe malfunction. Unlike the UK, where OFCOM would fine the broadcaster a single amount depending on the severity of the offence and number of complaints, the FCC fines the broadcaster a small fine to each affiliate TV network who carries their channels, as well as setting the fine according to the severity of the offence caused (which the FCC decides itself), even if no viewers were actually offended! For example, there could well be over a hundred, separate TV networks that carry CBS programming, and each affiliate will be forced to pay a fine of, say, $5000 US. But its not the affiliates that pay, but the Network themselves! As you can imagine, the fines often reach a total of Millions of dollars! Cable and satellite channels, like HBO, arent affected, but the main US networks arent happy that the rules are different for them. Alas, the FCC state that because the main networks can be received by anyone, (rather than only by paying for a subscription), the restrictions on what can and cant be shown, must be tighter. Restrictions, for ABC, NBC, and Co, include the banning on the word s***, and any derivative or variation of it, including bulls***. With dramas like The Shield, Battlestar Galactica, Prison Break and others, all being made for adult audiences, and thus having adult language in them, scheduling such shows after 10pm, isnt enough to avoid fines, even if no member of the public complains! Comedy shows like Saturday Night Live, South Park and Curb Your Enthusiasm are also going to be forced to tone down their content, or risk being found in breach of FCC regulations! Even reality TV and documentary shows will be forced to remove scenes of sex, nudity and risqué humour, as several current shows have been fined, even when such material was bleeped out or pixellated. Ultimately, this can only result in fewer adult TV shows being commissioned, and TV being forced to be toned-down to a ridiculous level, whereby it all becomes a sickly sanitised place where adults arent welcome. It almost makes you feel grateful that OFCOM dont treat UK viewers with such contempt!
TV Update Listings
Saturday 27th May
Sherlock Holmes Triple Day Weekend 9am-Midnight
ITV3 goes Sherlock Holmes mad, with episodes and movies from different TV and film adaptations of Sir Arthur Conan Doyles popular detective. The weekend includes episodes from the ITV series The Adventures Of , The Sign Of Four movie, with Jeremy Brett, Sherlock Holmes: The Last Vampire, The Return Of , as well as The Hound Of The Baskervilles, Without A Clue, and The Memoirs Of ! Plenty for all SH fans and aficionados. The weekend continues all day Sunday (8:40am-2:10am), and concludes Monday (8:30am-2:15am)! (ITV3)
The Water Margin 6:00-7:00pm
Classic 1970s Japanese/English action-adventure series returns back, after its brief hiatus from the schedules. No late-night repeat tonight, alas! See also Fridays listings! (ITV4)
NEW: Greg The Bunny 8:00-8:30pm / 11:15-11:45pm
The final two episodes of this short-lived US comedy series, get their World Premiere tonight, as they have never been shown in the USA! The cast of Sweet Knuckle Junction, go out with a bang! The penultimate episode Sock Like Me, has Alison sending the entire cast for Sensitivity Training, after she finds an offensive word in one of the TV studios restrooms. Greg and Co treat it, as they do everything
with utter contempt! The final episode, airs at 11:15pm, and is strangely entitled Jimmy Drives Gil Crazy. Guest-starring Brat Pack child-star Corey Feldman, Warren discovers his annoying neighbour, was once a Hollywood star. Dare he complain about his neighbours antics, or could he wrangle himself a much needed career-boost, amongst the Hollywood Glitterati. Both episodes are repeated back-to-back, tonight, between 3:40 and 4:30am! I have to say, Im going to miss this show, because its improved a lot in the last few weeks, and has become very acidic and clever! Lets hope that ITV eventually buy the 2005 Greg The Bunny: Reunion Special too! (ITV4)
Naked Gun Triple-Bill Weekend Various Times
Paramount are giving Frank Drebin fans, the chance to see his three movie outings from the late-1980s and early 90s. The Naked Gun airs on Paramount Comedy 2 at 9pm Saturday, or starting one-hour later on Paramount Comedy. Naked Gun 2 follows on Sunday, in the same time-pattern, and Naked Gun: 33 1/3rd on Monday evening. All films showing uncut on both channels. (Paramount Comedy Channel, Paramount Comedy 2)
NEW: The Triangle 10:00-11:25pm
First of a three-part, US, science-fiction, mini-series, getting a prime-time, national, Saturday night slot, on the BBC of all places! Sam Neil, Eric Stoltz, Catherine Bell and Lou Diamond Phillips star in this enjoyably daft drama about members of a team of probing the disappearance of various ships in and around the infamous Bermuda Triangle! Dont concern yourself too much with the plot, or the acting and direction: this is cheese, in the style of other Dean Devlin epics (Godzilla, ID4 - Independence Day), etc. Part 2 airs tomorrow evening, and Part 3 concludes the series on Monday night. Contains some frightening scenes, and occasional mild bad language. (The BBFC have given the DVD release of this, a 12 certificate, and is out on Monday morning, for rental or purchase!) Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (BBC1)
FILM: Deliverance (18) 11:10pm-1:05am
Harrowing, but superb drama about four middle-aged, white-collar males who decide to go for a weekend of canoeing, and manly retreat, in the Appalachians, near to a previously uncharted section of the river. Initially, things are enjoyed by all, but two mysterious redneck mountain men, have other far more horrific ideas, of what the men are going to be tackling, over the next 48 hours. Cult US director John Boorman (Excalibur), brings this creepy thriller to life, and should be required viewing for all true fans of classic movies! Includes the superbly eerie Banjo Duel sequence, that still sends tingles down the spine, even now some 30 years on. A savage film, but a worthy one! Ronny Cox, Jon Voight, Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty star as the four men. Contains some strong language, and a violent scene of male-rape, which may cause offence. Showing in Widescreen. (Five)
Ricky Gervais Meets Larry David 11:45pm-12:50am
Repeat of this special HBO interview/comedy special, where two of the worlds favourite comedians discuss their works, their profession, and their own upbringing. Contains strong language and adult humour. (More4)
FILM: The Usual Suspects (18) 12:35am-2:25am
Showing of the seminal thriller from 1995, starring Kevin Spacey and Gabriel Byrne. Foul-mouthed, but a cracking movie, nonetheless! Showing uncut and in the original 2.35:1 aspect ratio that the movie was filmed in! Repeated tomorrow at 10:40pm. (Turner Classic Movies)
Sunday 28th
Carry On Weekend (PG) 8:00am-3:10pm
UKTV Gold devotes Sunday to showings of classic Carry On movies. Titles to be shown are: Carry On Doctor, Carry On Up The Khyber, Carry On Follow That Camel, and Carry On England. Showing uncut. More movies are tomorrow. (UKTV Gold)
Invasion 8:00-9:00pm
The final-episode of the US sci-fi alien-invasion drama, comes to an unusual conclusion. At the moment, it does appear that there will not be a second Season, or any other kind of continuation of the show in any form. However, last-minute salvage discussions are underway between the shows creators and several other TV networks in the US, to see if a mini-series, or part-season could be made to give fans a true conclusion. (Channel 4)
NEW: Spiral (Engrenages) 9:00-9:50pm
Fans of European cinema and US dramas like 24 and Law And Order will be overjoyed at this! After the success of the Heimat trilogy and Das Boot mini-series, both shown last year on BBC4, here is an all-new drama series that is set to really get TV fans salivating! Spiral is the first of an eight-part French mini-series. A dark and occasionally gritty crime-thriller, ala Cracker, The Shield and Se7en, shown last year on national French TV, to great acclaim. When a heavily mutilated and decomposing body turns-up in a waste skip, a set of dedicated detectives are force to unravel an unnerving set of clues, amongst the backdrop of Paris nightlife, drug dens and unlit alley-ways, where anything can happen, for a price! But its not the only battle they will have to fight, as lawyers, judges and even officers in the force themselves, hinder their every move. Is the killer working alone? Is the corpse, the first, with more to come? Who can the detectives trust, and who is the real enemy? Episodes are to be shown each Sunday night, over the next eight weeks, with two other chances to catch each weeks episode: a late-evening Sunday night repeat, and a further chance to catch the show, each Wednesday around 10pm. In French with English Subtitles, this is likely to be a real cult gem in the TV schedules, and could well set a trend for more European TV dramas to be shown in the UK. If you want to get away from all the sport, and are going to miss 24, CSI and Prison Break (which are all going to end in the next few weeks), then this may temporarily plug the gap! Drama for the intelligentsia! Highly Recommended! Showing uncut, in Widescreen, with English Subtitles. (BBC4)
FILM: Roberto Succo (18) 9:50-11:50pm
Premiere of the controversial European thriller, about a man who kills his family, before moving on to a more sustained killing spree across Southern France! Showing uncut and in Widescreen. In French and Italian, with English Subtitles. Contains some graphic violence, some strong language, and some scenes that may disturb. (BBC4)
NEW: Human Trafficking 10:00-11:00pm
First of a new four-part UK mini-series, with Robert Carlyle, Mira Sorvino and Donald Sutherland, as they fight to unentangle the web of deception that surrounds them, when they deal with the illicit and uncompromising world of the human trafficker and the sale of sex slaves to British, European and US citizens. An uncompromisingly raw series, that deals with a subject, many of us would rather deny the existence of. Repeated later in the week, as well. Contains distressing scenes, some strong language, sexual material, and adult themes. Showing in Widescreen. (Sky 1)
NEW: The Triangle 10:30-11:55pm
Second of a three-part, US, science-fiction, mini-series. Contains some frightening scenes, and occasional mild bad language. (BBC1)
Monday 29th
Classic Bank Holiday Movies Various Times
Well, if the heavens should open-up, and youre not stuck in a traffic-jam, then you may decide to rewatch one of several classic Bank Holiday Monday movies. Your choice includes: The Sound Of Music (3:20-6:05pm, BBC1), Doctor Dolittle (the Rex Harrison version, 10:30am-1:05pm, ITV1), Zulu (3:00-5:30pm, ITV1), The Bridge On The River Kwai (12:00-3:00pm, Channel 4), or perhaps you might prefer Ghostbusters II (7:05-9:00pm, Channel 4) or The Wild Bunch (10:35pm-1:00am, BBC2).
V Day 11:00am-9:00pm
Relive the night that aliens invaded earth, with back-to-back showing of V: The Mini-Series (Parts 1 and 2), and V: The Final Battle (Parts 1, 2 and 3), from 1984 and 1985! Each episode is two hours long (including adverts), but these five episodes are stunning examples of what can be done with a little imagination, patience, and a good story. Kenneth Johnson, the director of this series, went on to make Alien Nation, and many other classic sci-fi shows! This is a great way to revel in nostalgia, and it still works even now, nearly 25 years later! Repeated on Sci-Fi +1 as well. (Sci-Fi Channel)
Carry On Weekend (PG) 12:30-5:50pm
UKTV Gold devotes Monday to more British saucy hijinks! Carry On Dick, Carry On Up The Jungle, and Carry On Matron air this time around. Showing uncut. (UKTV Gold)
JAG 2:00-7:00pm
Have you enjoyed NCIS on FX or Five? Well, go back in time, to 1995, and watch the sister show, from the creator of NCIS Donald Bellisario (of Airwolf and Quantum Leap fame), set amongst the staff of the marine Judge Advocacy General corps. FX is giving viewers a chance, to watch every single episode all 227 of them from today, right from the very, very beginning! Thats all 10 Seasons, back-to-back, every weekday afternoon, for five whole hours! Today, sees Season 1, Episodes 1-5, which includes the two-part Pilot Movie A New Life! Expect to keep the next 7 weeks solid, completely free, if you dont want to miss any of them! Alternatively, you may want to stock-up on blank tapes, DVDs and or empty your Sky+s hard drive too. (FX)
Prison Break 9:00-11:00pm
In case you missed the news, Five are going to conclude Season 1, with double-bills for the remaining two weeks. Episodes 19 and 20 air tonight, and are repeated tomorrow night from Midnight, whilst the jaw-dropping conclusion will air next Monday evening, with another two-hour, double-bill! Will Michael, T-Bag, Lincoln, Westmoreland and Sucre escape, or will the Warden, Dr Tancredi or Bellick finally catch them in the act, and stop them in their tracks, with something more permanent?! Expect the unexpected, but enjoy the stunning conclusion over the next two weeks! This will be TV youll remember for a long, long time! (Five)
Return Of The Goodies 10:00-11:30pm
Tim Brooke-Taylor, Bill Oddie, and Graeme Garden relive their finest moments as the comedic trio The Goodies! (BBC4)
FILM: Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels (18) 10:00pm-Midnight
Classic 1990s British crime comedy, from director Guy Ritchie. Contains very strong language throughout, violent scenes and some material that may offend. Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (E4)
NEW: Just Jade 10:00-11:00pm
Shes back! Miss Chavdom 2002; the former Butt Munch contestant; the woman who makes a heap of cow-dung look positively intelligent returns to out screens! Tonight, in the first of her new series in which Jade wants to be a business-woman, she decides to try to launch her own perfume. (Isnt bottling your own sweet, breaking the Trade Descriptions Act?!) Its positively car-crash-tastic TV! (LivingTV)
SCHEDULE CHANGE: NYPD Blue 11:45pm-12:40am only
Season 10, Episode 13.
Russ Meyer: King Of Sexploitation 12:00-1:00am
Documentary about the recently deceased US movie director, whose films will be remembered more for their cast, than the films themselves. Russ Meyer was a man who liked his women. And the women, became his films! This documentary explores the man, the myth, and the legend, behind cult classics like Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill, Vixen and Mondo Topless! Expect scenes of nudity, sexual violence, violence, strong language, adult humour and other adult material that you may find offensive! (Five)
FILM: Battle Royale (18) 1:35-4:00am
The controversial Japanese cult movie masterpiece, gets another airing. If you arent aware of this already, it was the movie that was nearly banned in Japan. As Japan nears the end of the 20th Century, the need to control the youth population hits critical. The government introduce the Battle Royale Reform Act (BR Act), in order to ease the situation. The Act states that a randomly-chosen high-school will be selected, and the students forced to take part in a real life-or-death game. The only rule kill, or be killed! The students are taken to a remote island, given various weapons, and are forced to become assassins, murderers, hit men and cold-blooded killers. When one student remains, the game ends. But this year, some of the students chosen, decide to rebel against the BR Act. Can they turn the game around, or will they be forced to kill their friends? Extreme violence ensues! A shocking movie, no doubt, but a very clever and vicious satire about Japanese youths at the end of the 20th Century, and the state of the nations real-life problem of population control. In Japanese with English Subtitles. Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (Sci-Fi Channel)
Tuesday 30th
Angels In America 9:00pm-12:20am
Part 1 of a lengthy two-parter, which concludes tomorrow night. Al Pacino and an all-star cast head-up this drama based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning play by Tony Kushner. New York, 1985. President Ronald Reagan is leading the country. The economy is at its height, and Americans are revelling in their ability to work where they want, spend what they want, and sleep with who they want. But one man, Prior Walter, is all alone. He has no job. He has little money. And he has few friends. Why? Because four little letters, are about to spell the end for him. AIDS has arrived, and is claiming its first Western casualty. Complex, emotive, and hard-work. This drama is not an easy viewing. Its also something that to many British viewers, wont have quite the same emotional resonance. Yet, it is still worth at least one viewing, if only to challenge your own fears, about this evil illness, for which there is still no cure. Contains strong language, brief nudity, and some distressing scenes. Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (More4)
FILM: Blood-Sucking Freaks (18) 10:55pm-12:50am
Another banned movie, gets a UK TV airing, uncut, uncensored, and free of BBFC interference, courtesy of the Horror Channel. (Its still banned in the UK today!) A mad theatrical impresario enjoys entertaining his crowds with macabre tricks. But when his audience starts seeking more and move vicious entertainment, he finds that the only thing that will keep his audience happy, is seeing real death! Suddenly, he finds it necessary to find some victims, for his stage act, and goes on a bloody rampage. I have to confess, that of many of the banned movies and video nasties that have been turning-up on TV over recent months, this is one of the most pathetic! The film is pretty lousy, in terms of its plot and acting, and seems to be solely designed for showing very bad special effects of nubile young ladies in bikinis, being brutally murdered or mutilated. Thankfully, the special effects are bad enough to not be very effective in terms of realism, despite this movie being made in the early 1980s. However, the endless sexism and unrelenting misogyny is really woeful! Worth one viewing to see what the fuss is about, but easily forgettable, and certainly not one worth keeping. Showing uncut and uncensored. Contains graphic gore and sexualised violence, and scenes that some viewers may find disturbing or distasteful. (The Horror Channel)
FILM: M (PG) 11:25pm-1:15am
Fritz Langs masterpiece of 1930s expressionist cinema gets a rare TV outing. Peter Lorre stars as a child-killer, in this fascinating piece of European movie-making. This is the full-length, original German cut, clocking-in at around 113 minutes. The film is in black-and-white, with some German Intertitles (captions-on-screen), and English Subtitles where applicable. Also airing in Hi-Def! Showing uncut, in the original 1.33:1 aspect ratio. Contains some mild violence and mature themes, that may make it unsuitable for younger viewers. (Artsworld)
SCHEDULE CHANGE: NYPD Blue 12:20-1:20am only
Season 10, Episode 14.
Wednesday 31st
Third Watch Special 8:00-9:00pm
The first of a two-part special Third Watch episode, that starts off a rerun of Season 3. In Their Own Words takes the real-life cast from the show, and gets them to discuss with the real-life fire, ambulance and police staff, their thoughts and feelings about the World Trade Centre being struck by terrorists in hijacked aircraft, on the horrific day of September 11th, 2001. Some of the discussions, are extremely moving, and at times truly harrowing, but the cast document the camaraderie that existed both before, during and after that fateful day with immense honesty! The very people the cast portray, were now characters in the show itself, as themselves. The concluding part, airs tomorrow at the same time. Both episodes will be aired completely uncut, as they do not contain graphic details of the events that took place, and there is only one instance of bad language. Very moving tribute, and a good way to help explain that event, to younger viewers. Highly Recommended! (FX)
FILM: Mike Bassett, England Manager (15) 9:00-10:45pm
Hilarious British comedy, for people who love or hate football! Ricky Tomlinson takes the role of beleaguered football manager, Mike Bassett a man for whom incompetence is a middle name. After being made the manager of the latest England squad a job which every other professional manager has turned down Mike is forced to try to do the best he can, with the squad hes got. Sadly, the squad hes inherited are possibly the worst players in history, and Mike is forced into some unusual scenarios in order to get them to work together.. with the intention of getting them into the World Cup! Much of the swearing is deliberately bleeped-out, (as is the male nudity, which gets howlingly pixellated), and in most cases, it actually makes the film far funnier. However, I should point out that Five has made one or two tiny edits to some of the strongest language used. In all honesty, though, you wont notice it, and it certainly doesnt detract from the films bitingly satirical script. Tomlinson is superb, as are the numerous cameos by various celebrities past and present! Whatever you think of sport, this is a great film, and one of the better British films made in recent years. Very, very funny! Stay-tuned throughout the closing credits, for out-takes and additional scenes. Showing in Widescreen. (Five)
Angels In America 9:00pm-12:40am
Part 2 of the two-part Golden Globe-winning mini-series drama. Contains strong language, brief nudity, and some distressing scenes. Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (More4)
ONE-Life 10:40-11:25pm
You may have no interest in her as a TV presenter, but as a fellow human being, you have to give her credit! In the summer of 2005, Gail Porter started to lose all of her hair. She is one out of every 50 people, who suffer from Alopecia the genetic and sudden loss of all your hair. At just 34 years of age, she was forced to accept that she would be both bald and a bald woman. This documentary looks at her life just prior to, during, and after the discovery of her condition, and looks at how she copes in the modern world, where differences in people can be used to bully and belittle the person with the condition. Contains some bad language, and some distressing scenes. Showing in Widescreen. Viewers in Wales can see this show at 11:10pm instead, as can Sky Digital viewers, on the BBC1 Wales channel at EPG number 9XX. (BBC1)
Sex In The 80s 11:05pm-12:10am
First in a trio of related documentaries about the liberalisation of sex, during the 1980s. Tonight, the series looks at Cynthia Payne a Madam, who became rather too well known, for being the lady who kept a South London brothel. After her acquittal in 1987, she became infamous for her sex parties, at which many of the attendees were government ministers, normally in charge of important and high-ranking jobs! To many, she became a national treasure. To some, however, she will be loathed and hated for the power she wielded over those who had power of their own to contend with. Contains sexual material throughout, strong language and some strong sexual descriptions. Showing in Widescreen. (Channel 4)
SCHEDULE CHANGE: NYPD Blue 12:40-1:40am only
Season 10, Episode 15.
FILM: Scummy Man (15) 12:40-1:10am
Hard-hitting short-film based on the Artic Monkeys hit single When The Sun Goes Down. (Released on DVD just a few weeks back, Im surprised this is already airing on TV!) Contains strong language and mature themes. (Channel 4)
Thursday 1st June
Burkes Law 9:00-10:00am, repeated 9:00-10:00pm!
Rerun of the 1970s crime and detective show. (The Performance Channel, of all places!)
FILM: Foreign Correspondent (PG) 1:00-3:00pm
Alfred Hitchcocks superb classic thriller, about a newspaper crime reported who is sent to Europe to cover diplomatic attempts to prevent the outbreak of war. When he begins to dig deep into the various people involved, he soon finds himself in a world of espionage, secret spies, and cloak-and-dagger manoeuvres that may end-up being the death of him permanently! Contains mild violence. Black-and-white. (BBC2)
SCHEDULE CHANGE: Monkey 6:00-7:00pm
Viewers currently watching this show, should be aware that ITV4 are messing about with the schedules again. After a lengthy absence, you have an episode tonight, and another one tomorrow. Neither is repeated unfortunately. (ITV4)
Third Watch Special 8:00-9:00pm
The final part of a two-part special Third Watch episode, that starts off a rerun of Season 3. In Their Own Words takes the real-life cast from the show, and gets them to discuss with the real-life fire, ambulance and police staff, their thoughts and feelings about the World Trade Centre being struck by terrorists in hijacked aircraft, on the horrific day of September 11th, 2001. Airing completely uncut, as it does not contain graphic details of the events that took place, and there is only one instance of bad language. Very moving tribute, and a good way to help explain that event, to younger viewers. Highly Recommended! (FX)
Cinema Dali 8:00-9:00pm
One-off documentary about the extreme expressionist cinema of Salvador Dali, who is most famous for the uncompromisingly eerie short Un Chien Andalou. Also showing in Hi-Def! (Artsworld)
House MD 9:00-10:00pm
I have to recommend this episode, as its the first two-parter that this show has ever done, and its probably one of the finest episodes theyve ever made! When a police officer is brought into the hospital, suffering from a bullet-wound, after being shot in the head. House and the team set-about preparing to remove the bullet and patch the poor man up. At first, everything seems all quite dull and normal with the patients injuries. Theres just one slight problem: the officers in complete hysterics at having being shot, and then Forman starts to exhibit the exact same symptoms! Just what is going on?! Is laughter really contagious? It seems so, but not everything is as it appears! Watch out for the hilariously cruel scene, as House has a CSI-moment, and goes to test the effect of a bullet on the human body. An absolutely, viciously sick sequence, but I guarantee it will also have you in complete hysterics at the same time! And theres another gem of a dark, but oh-so-typical House retort, when Cameron sees the bullet-wound for the first time. I wont print the exchange, but its a belter! Part 2 is on next week, at the same time. Highly Recommended! Showing uncut, and in Widescreen. (Five)
Cracker 11:30pm-12:35am
Providing ITV3 and Sky have rectified the problems of picture and audio issues that has plagued them for the last three or four weeks, you may want to record this. The second story from the first series, To Be A Somebody has a modern-day story about a Bonnie And Clyde-type duo, who are deeply in love, but also deeply psychotic. When the Greater Manchester Police are sent to investigate a brutal murder, little do the team realise that a killing spree is nearing them! Despite being arrested for breaching the peace, Fitz is called in to help, but hes more interested in Panhandle! This is the first of a three-episode story, and its one of the better ones. Parts two and three will air next Thursday and the Thursday after that. Showing uncut, and (hopefully_ in the original 1.77:1 widescreen ratio. Contains violence, bad language and some disturbing scenes. (The BBFC gave this an 18 certificate, and youll soon see why!) (ITV3)
All-Night Horror Triple Bill 12:00-6:00am
Three superb horror films, get their TV transmission, uncut, uncensored, in Widescreen, and exactly as they were meant to be seen! Sisters is on at Midnight, and stars Margot Kidder. At 1:50am, Paul Morrisseys controversial and bloody shocker, Blood For Dracula is shown for the first time, complete and intact. Udo Kier stars in the title role. Then, at 3:40am, the sequel to Blood For Dracula, Flesh For Frankenstein also gets its first uncut airing. This was originally a Video Nasty, and so, seeing it how it should be seen, is great! All three films are great cult films, and worthy of anyones time, especially if you like horror or even downright weird movies! As you probably can expect, there will be graphic violence, strong language, explicit gore and scenes of a sexually violent nature that may cause offence in each film. See if you can stomach them all! (FilmFour Subscribers only!)
SCHEDULE CHANGE: NYPD Blue 12:15-1:15am only
Season 10, Episode 16.
Friday 2nd
Monkey 6:00-7:00pm
A second opportunity to join the Monkey King on his journey to find forgiveness from the gods he has offended. This is a new episode, and not a repeat of yesterdays episode! (ITV4)
The Water Margin 7:00-8:00pm
Another episode of the famous English-dubbed Japanese period drama. (ITV4)
SCHEDULE CHANGE Law And Order / Law And Order: Special Victims Unit
Fans of these series currently showing on Five each Friday night, should note that they have now moved by one hour earlier than usual. Law And Order will now start at 9:00pm, and the hard-hitting Law And Order: Special Victims Unit will start at 10:00pm instead.
NEW: Prostitution 10:00-11:00pm
First in a new three-part documentary series about the worlds oldest profession. The series explores how this job has changed over the years, from being a way for desperate people to make money quickly, at the expense of their psychological health, through the exploitation of women by their male pimps, into what many see now as a potentially lucrative career-choice for both sexes, in the 21st Century, whilst the sex industry in the UK and Europe continues to flourish despite the many legal clamp-downs. As you would expect, the show will contain adult themes, scenes of an explicit, frank and very adult nature, and will deal with material that may offend. Adults only! Showing in Widescreen. (Sky 1)
The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band 40th Anniversary Celebration 10:00-11:00pm
Famous in the 1970s, musician and British comedian Neil Innes and the surviving members of the famous and hilarious parody pop band, perform some of their many hits, including How Fun To Be An Idiot (or Song For The Hopeless as its sometimes known). A host of famous guests join the band onstage, including fans Phil Juppitus and Paul Merton. If youve never seen or heard of the band, then best ask your parents, who will undoubtedly remember them with fondness! A kitsch comedy treat for the young-at-heart! Contains some risqué material, not suitable for younger children. Showing in Widescreen. (BBC4).
FILM: Oleanna (15) 3:10-4:40am
David Mamet is a well-known US playwright. Hes written and worked on numerous hit films and stage shows. This is the movie version of his own award-winning play, that focuses on two characters and one situation that of institutional sexism. William H Macy and Debra Eisenstadt play the professor and student (respectively) at a renowned US university. When the professor is accused of sexual harassment by one of his students during an ordinary meeting about her coursework, a difficult war of words ensues, as each tries to understand the others point-of-view about what actually took place during the talk, that suddenly turns their lives upside down. To some people, the film and play are considered to be hideously dull and a truly pointless 90 minutes of conversation, between two desperately, unlikeable people. However, having seen this film twice now, I find it to be an incredible piece of well-constructed movie-making, utilising two of the finest actors, in an almost continuous take on the way one persons actions can be horrendously misconstrued in this age of political correctness. Can a smile, or a kiss be seen as a personal assault on another person? When does your private space become invaded by others around you? And at what cost is civility to others? A strange film for sure, but a brilliantly minimalist experience. Highly Recommended for fans of challenging and thought-provoking cinema. Contains a single use of strong language, and some mild swearing, as well as the discussion of mature themes. Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (Channel 4)
If youre still with me, then youve finally reached the end of my recommendations for the week. I genuinely hope that there are some worthwhile selections for you all, and that you might look a little further afield from your usual TV choices. There is often plenty of good material on TV, but you just need patience and a good guide to hunt them down. Enjoy the Bank Holiday weekend, and Ill see you all back here, in a couple of weeks, or so.
Pooch
Welcome, one-and-all, to another TV Update! You may have noticed my absence over the past three or four weeks, and hence, the lack of updates. My apologies for this, but Ive basically had stuff to deal with, that had to take priority. Anyway, hopefully over the next three months or so, I should be able to do at least a couple of updates each month.
Anyway, I think it best that we get straight into why youre all here. Oh yes, I nearly forgot to say: this is an extremely long post around 14-pages of A4 paper! You may, therefore, prefer to simply cut and paste this post into Word, and print it out. This is, I think, the longest update Ive ever written for you, since starting this at the AV Forums! Either youre all lucky, lucky people, or else Ive gained masochistic tendencies!
Happy Viewing!TV News
TCM now has a new, extra channel, that has come onto Sky Digital, in the past couple of weeks. TCM2 is on Sky EPG number 320. Airing each night, between 7pm and 3am, TCM2 will air classics from its numerous titles, at the same time, each day for an entire week (like FilmFour Weekly does). Admittedly, TCMs lack of new cinematic material, does mean that many of the films that both TCM and TCM2 air tend to get repeated a lot anyway, so Im not sure whether a second channel was really needed. However, both channels do frequently air the longer, and superior, US Theatrical Cut of Stanley Kubricks The Shining (running at approximately 144 minutes, compared to the UK Theatrical and DVD cut of just 113 minutes), and its in the proper 1.33:1 original ratio too! Highly recommended! TCM2s cycle of weekly films starts on a Sunday, and ends the following Saturday.
NYPD Blue fans take note! On the good side, you may have noticed that all episodes are now being shown without any DOGs! This is fantastic, and maybe its C4s way of apologising to NYPD Blues hardcore fans who have waited over three years to see these final three Seasons worth of episodes. Sadly, there is also bad news!
For some bizarre and unexplained reason, episodes of NYPD Blue are now not only changing their timeslot most nights (starting as early as 10:50pm, or as late as 11:50pm), but for this week, episodes are only being aired once each evening, with no same-night 2am-ish repeat! So, youll now have just one chance to catch each episode, around Midnight, and then one hour later on More4 +1! I am hoping that next week, More4 will be reverting back to the two transmissions each night, but I dont have the info yet. Please be careful when setting your VCRs, DVD Recorders or Sky Plus boxes! Id hate for any of you to start missing any more episodes
like Ive recently done! If you have managed to get Sky HD installed, and are wondering how you can find out what programmes are going to be in the HD format, or which have been upscaled from Standard Def format programming, then you may wish to purchase TV And Satellite Week from your local newsagent. Programmes are clearly marked with an HD note, for most satellite channels, so that you know which ones are which. Alternatively, you can always make-do with the ever-reliable Sky EPG.
Fans of short-lived TV sci-fi drama Roswell will be pleased to know that the Sci-Fi Channel has finally obtained the rights to air Seasons 2 and 3 of the show. No specific dates have been set yet, but they will probably air Season 2 over the Summer, and then Season 3 in the Autumn.
And, for the first time in many, many years, Sci-Fi will be running all three original Classic Star Trek seasons, starting later in June. Each episode will be aired completely uncut, in digitally-remastered prints, and with every episode shown in the correct order. Highlights will be some of the several episodes that the BBC banned or cut, for having inappropriate or insensitive content. The original Pilot Episode The Cage is also due to air, hopefully in both the black-and-white format, and the coloured-updated version! Join Captain Kirk, Scotty and Uhura, as they all boldly go where no one (at that point) had gone before. More details, as they become available.More sci-fi news. Non-Sky subscribers, and late-comers, will be pleased to hear that the hit US sci-fi remake of Battlestar Galactica, is likely to start airing on Sky 3 in the very near future. At the moment, Sky can only air the original Mini-Series / Pilot Movie, and then the 13 episodes that make up Season 1. Season 2 should then follow next year around the same time, by which point Season 3 will almost have finished on Sky 1 and 2.
Huff gets a complete Season 1 rerun, from the end of June, on FX, and then Season 2 will get its UK premiere, straight after! This excellent, dark, witty and satirical drama stars Simpsons voice-artiste Hank Azaria as a psychologist who is forced to confront his own emotions, when a patient commits suicide in a counselling session. To make matters worse, the parents want to sue him, whilst his best friend is determined to be Huffs legal advisor, but ends up only making things worse. Huffs mother and disabled brother arrive on the scene; he begins to hallucinate that people on the street are talking about him, and his own son discovers the wonderful world of Rainbow parties! One of the most criminally-underrated gems in the TV schedules of last year, this is superb stuff. If you havent seen this show, yet, Id thoroughly recommend it. Just be warned, though: the show contains explicit language throughout, not too dissimilar to Deadwood!
ITV4 has another new US crime drama for us, starting on Saturday 17th June, at 9pm. The Big Apple stars Ed ONeill (Married With Children, Dragnet), Michael Madsen (Reservoir Dogs, Vengeance Unlimited), Titus Welliver (Brooklyn South), David Strathairn and Glynn Turman. Madsen takes on the role of a contract killer and ex-police informant who decides he wants New York to himself. ONeill heads the FBI team who are keen to capture or execute their former employee, but the rest of the FBI, the Russian Mafia, and some of New Yorks criminals under Madsens control, have very different ideas. The Big Apple is about to be hit by one of the biggest man-hunts ever, and nothing is going to get in the way! This should be very good, from what Ive heard, and I look forward to seeing the Pilot Episode later next month.
Steven Spielbergs HBO mini-series Band Of Brothers is to air in June, as five separate movies, combining the original ten parts together, into weekly two-hour (approx) movies. The series starts on Friday 23rd, at 9:00pm.
Veronica Mars returns, with the start of Season 2, on LivingTV on Thursday 8th June, at 9pm. The first episode concludes some of the threads from the end of the first Season, and starts to set-up some major new themes for Season 2, including some new characters and the end of some old faves!
Guest stars include Lucy Lawless (Xena: Warrior Princess, Battlestar Galactica), Kevin Smith (director of Clerks), Alyson Hannigan and Charisma Carpenter (both from Buffy), and even TV and movie honcho Joss Whedon!Prison Break fans may be shocked by the following news: not only has a Second Season been confirmed, (and which will begin filming very soon), but then some of the shows themes and characters will continue into an already partly-planned Season 3. Each Season of this stunning drama show, will be similar to Babylon 5, in the sense that it will be relatively self-contained, but also cover the beginning, middle and end of a complex, overall trilogy, that the shows creator Paul T Scheuring has been working on for the past two years or so! As such, we can expect many more major events to take place, and the introduction of more unhinged characters who become part of something far-more shocking than any of the characters could ever imagine!
Supernatural comes to its end on Sunday 16th June. No news has been made for a Second Season, but ratings havent been great in the USA, although they have been relatively stable. Expect a decision to be made, by the end of June.
Lastly, although many of us complain about OFCOM, be grateful you dont live in the USA. Across the Atlantic, the Federal Communications Commission (or FCC), is hassling the major US networks to reduce the level of violence, adult themes and swearing in many of their most popular shows, or they will be heavily fined!
At the moment, channels like ABC, NBC, Fox, and CBS are being worn-down by the FCC, with hefty fines for programming that breaches some of the very tight restrictions that are now being re-introduced, thanks to the bible-bashing southerners who insist on organising major campaigns that can pull vast amounts of money from many of the most famous organisations, sponsors, and companies. Such is the power, of these people! (Examples, could include Disney refusing to sponsor any company who airs adult or mature shows. Sponsorship and advertising budgets could be slashed!) This is after the infamous Janet Jackson/SuperBowl costume-incident, where Jackson accidentally exposed her nipple, due to a wardrobe malfunction. Unlike the UK, where OFCOM would fine the broadcaster a single amount depending on the severity of the offence and number of complaints, the FCC fines the broadcaster a small fine to each affiliate TV network who carries their channels, as well as setting the fine according to the severity of the offence caused (which the FCC decides itself), even if no viewers were actually offended! For example, there could well be over a hundred, separate TV networks that carry CBS programming, and each affiliate will be forced to pay a fine of, say, $5000 US. But its not the affiliates that pay, but the Network themselves! As you can imagine, the fines often reach a total of Millions of dollars! Cable and satellite channels, like HBO, arent affected, but the main US networks arent happy that the rules are different for them. Alas, the FCC state that because the main networks can be received by anyone, (rather than only by paying for a subscription), the restrictions on what can and cant be shown, must be tighter. Restrictions, for ABC, NBC, and Co, include the banning on the word s***, and any derivative or variation of it, including bulls***. With dramas like The Shield, Battlestar Galactica, Prison Break and others, all being made for adult audiences, and thus having adult language in them, scheduling such shows after 10pm, isnt enough to avoid fines, even if no member of the public complains! Comedy shows like Saturday Night Live, South Park and Curb Your Enthusiasm are also going to be forced to tone down their content, or risk being found in breach of FCC regulations! Even reality TV and documentary shows will be forced to remove scenes of sex, nudity and risqué humour, as several current shows have been fined, even when such material was bleeped out or pixellated. Ultimately, this can only result in fewer adult TV shows being commissioned, and TV being forced to be toned-down to a ridiculous level, whereby it all becomes a sickly sanitised place where adults arent welcome. It almost makes you feel grateful that OFCOM dont treat UK viewers with such contempt!TV Update Listings
Saturday 27th May
Sherlock Holmes Triple Day Weekend 9am-Midnight
ITV3 goes Sherlock Holmes mad, with episodes and movies from different TV and film adaptations of Sir Arthur Conan Doyles popular detective. The weekend includes episodes from the ITV series The Adventures Of , The Sign Of Four movie, with Jeremy Brett, Sherlock Holmes: The Last Vampire, The Return Of , as well as The Hound Of The Baskervilles, Without A Clue, and The Memoirs Of ! Plenty for all SH fans and aficionados. The weekend continues all day Sunday (8:40am-2:10am), and concludes Monday (8:30am-2:15am)! (ITV3)
The Water Margin 6:00-7:00pm
Classic 1970s Japanese/English action-adventure series returns back, after its brief hiatus from the schedules. No late-night repeat tonight, alas! See also Fridays listings! (ITV4)
NEW: Greg The Bunny 8:00-8:30pm / 11:15-11:45pm
The final two episodes of this short-lived US comedy series, get their World Premiere tonight, as they have never been shown in the USA!
The cast of Sweet Knuckle Junction, go out with a bang! The penultimate episode Sock Like Me, has Alison sending the entire cast for Sensitivity Training, after she finds an offensive word in one of the TV studios restrooms. Greg and Co treat it, as they do everything
with utter contempt! The final episode, airs at 11:15pm, and is strangely entitled Jimmy Drives Gil Crazy. Guest-starring Brat Pack child-star Corey Feldman, Warren discovers his annoying neighbour, was once a Hollywood star. Dare he complain about his neighbours antics, or could he wrangle himself a much needed career-boost, amongst the Hollywood Glitterati. Both episodes are repeated back-to-back, tonight, between 3:40 and 4:30am! I have to say, Im going to miss this show, because its improved a lot in the last few weeks, and has become very acidic and clever! Lets hope that ITV eventually buy the 2005 Greg The Bunny: Reunion Special too! (ITV4)Naked Gun Triple-Bill Weekend Various Times
Paramount are giving Frank Drebin fans, the chance to see his three movie outings from the late-1980s and early 90s. The Naked Gun airs on Paramount Comedy 2 at 9pm Saturday, or starting one-hour later on Paramount Comedy. Naked Gun 2 follows on Sunday, in the same time-pattern, and Naked Gun: 33 1/3rd on Monday evening. All films showing uncut on both channels. (Paramount Comedy Channel, Paramount Comedy 2)
NEW: The Triangle 10:00-11:25pm
First of a three-part, US, science-fiction, mini-series, getting a prime-time, national, Saturday night slot, on the BBC of all places!
Sam Neil, Eric Stoltz, Catherine Bell and Lou Diamond Phillips star in this enjoyably daft drama about members of a team of probing the disappearance of various ships in and around the infamous Bermuda Triangle! Dont concern yourself too much with the plot, or the acting and direction: this is cheese, in the style of other Dean Devlin epics (Godzilla, ID4 - Independence Day), etc. Part 2 airs tomorrow evening, and Part 3 concludes the series on Monday night. Contains some frightening scenes, and occasional mild bad language. (The BBFC have given the DVD release of this, a 12 certificate, and is out on Monday morning, for rental or purchase!) Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (BBC1)FILM: Deliverance (18) 11:10pm-1:05am
Harrowing, but superb drama about four middle-aged, white-collar males who decide to go for a weekend of canoeing, and manly retreat, in the Appalachians, near to a previously uncharted section of the river. Initially, things are enjoyed by all, but two mysterious redneck mountain men, have other far more horrific ideas, of what the men are going to be tackling, over the next 48 hours. Cult US director John Boorman (Excalibur), brings this creepy thriller to life, and should be required viewing for all true fans of classic movies! Includes the superbly eerie Banjo Duel sequence, that still sends tingles down the spine, even now some 30 years on. A savage film, but a worthy one! Ronny Cox, Jon Voight, Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty star as the four men. Contains some strong language, and a violent scene of male-rape, which may cause offence. Showing in Widescreen. (Five)
Ricky Gervais Meets Larry David 11:45pm-12:50am
Repeat of this special HBO interview/comedy special, where two of the worlds favourite comedians discuss their works, their profession, and their own upbringing. Contains strong language and adult humour. (More4)
FILM: The Usual Suspects (18) 12:35am-2:25am
Showing of the seminal thriller from 1995, starring Kevin Spacey and Gabriel Byrne. Foul-mouthed, but a cracking movie, nonetheless! Showing uncut and in the original 2.35:1 aspect ratio that the movie was filmed in! Repeated tomorrow at 10:40pm. (Turner Classic Movies)
Sunday 28th
Carry On Weekend (PG) 8:00am-3:10pm
UKTV Gold devotes Sunday to showings of classic Carry On movies. Titles to be shown are: Carry On Doctor, Carry On Up The Khyber, Carry On Follow That Camel, and Carry On England. Showing uncut. More movies are tomorrow. (UKTV Gold)
Invasion 8:00-9:00pm
The final-episode of the US sci-fi alien-invasion drama, comes to an unusual conclusion. At the moment, it does appear that there will not be a second Season, or any other kind of continuation of the show in any form. However, last-minute salvage discussions are underway between the shows creators and several other TV networks in the US, to see if a mini-series, or part-season could be made to give fans a true conclusion. (Channel 4)
NEW: Spiral (Engrenages) 9:00-9:50pm
Fans of European cinema and US dramas like 24 and Law And Order will be overjoyed at this! After the success of the Heimat trilogy and Das Boot mini-series, both shown last year on BBC4, here is an all-new drama series that is set to really get TV fans salivating!
Spiral is the first of an eight-part French mini-series. A dark and occasionally gritty crime-thriller, ala Cracker, The Shield and Se7en, shown last year on national French TV, to great acclaim. When a heavily mutilated and decomposing body turns-up in a waste skip, a set of dedicated detectives are force to unravel an unnerving set of clues, amongst the backdrop of Paris nightlife, drug dens and unlit alley-ways, where anything can happen, for a price! But its not the only battle they will have to fight, as lawyers, judges and even officers in the force themselves, hinder their every move. Is the killer working alone? Is the corpse, the first, with more to come? Who can the detectives trust, and who is the real enemy? Episodes are to be shown each Sunday night, over the next eight weeks, with two other chances to catch each weeks episode: a late-evening Sunday night repeat, and a further chance to catch the show, each Wednesday around 10pm. In French with English Subtitles, this is likely to be a real cult gem in the TV schedules, and could well set a trend for more European TV dramas to be shown in the UK. If you want to get away from all the sport, and are going to miss 24, CSI and Prison Break (which are all going to end in the next few weeks), then this may temporarily plug the gap! Drama for the intelligentsia! Highly Recommended! Showing uncut, in Widescreen, with English Subtitles. (BBC4)FILM: Roberto Succo (18) 9:50-11:50pm
Premiere of the controversial European thriller, about a man who kills his family, before moving on to a more sustained killing spree across Southern France! Showing uncut and in Widescreen. In French and Italian, with English Subtitles. Contains some graphic violence, some strong language, and some scenes that may disturb. (BBC4)
NEW: Human Trafficking 10:00-11:00pm
First of a new four-part UK mini-series, with Robert Carlyle, Mira Sorvino and Donald Sutherland, as they fight to unentangle the web of deception that surrounds them, when they deal with the illicit and uncompromising world of the human trafficker and the sale of sex slaves to British, European and US citizens. An uncompromisingly raw series, that deals with a subject, many of us would rather deny the existence of. Repeated later in the week, as well. Contains distressing scenes, some strong language, sexual material, and adult themes. Showing in Widescreen. (Sky 1)
NEW: The Triangle 10:30-11:55pm
Second of a three-part, US, science-fiction, mini-series. Contains some frightening scenes, and occasional mild bad language. (BBC1)
Monday 29th
Classic Bank Holiday Movies Various Times
Well, if the heavens should open-up, and youre not stuck in a traffic-jam, then you may decide to rewatch one of several classic Bank Holiday Monday movies. Your choice includes: The Sound Of Music (3:20-6:05pm, BBC1), Doctor Dolittle (the Rex Harrison version, 10:30am-1:05pm, ITV1), Zulu (3:00-5:30pm, ITV1), The Bridge On The River Kwai (12:00-3:00pm, Channel 4), or perhaps you might prefer Ghostbusters II (7:05-9:00pm, Channel 4) or The Wild Bunch (10:35pm-1:00am, BBC2).
V Day 11:00am-9:00pm
Relive the night that aliens invaded earth, with back-to-back showing of V: The Mini-Series (Parts 1 and 2), and V: The Final Battle (Parts 1, 2 and 3), from 1984 and 1985! Each episode is two hours long (including adverts), but these five episodes are stunning examples of what can be done with a little imagination, patience, and a good story. Kenneth Johnson, the director of this series, went on to make Alien Nation, and many other classic sci-fi shows! This is a great way to revel in nostalgia, and it still works even now, nearly 25 years later! Repeated on Sci-Fi +1 as well. (Sci-Fi Channel)
Carry On Weekend (PG) 12:30-5:50pm
UKTV Gold devotes Monday to more British saucy hijinks! Carry On Dick, Carry On Up The Jungle, and Carry On Matron air this time around. Showing uncut. (UKTV Gold)
JAG 2:00-7:00pm
Have you enjoyed NCIS on FX or Five? Well, go back in time, to 1995, and watch the sister show, from the creator of NCIS Donald Bellisario (of Airwolf and Quantum Leap fame), set amongst the staff of the marine Judge Advocacy General corps. FX is giving viewers a chance, to watch every single episode all 227 of them from today, right from the very, very beginning! Thats all 10 Seasons, back-to-back, every weekday afternoon, for five whole hours!
Today, sees Season 1, Episodes 1-5, which includes the two-part Pilot Movie A New Life! Expect to keep the next 7 weeks solid, completely free, if you dont want to miss any of them! Alternatively, you may want to stock-up on blank tapes, DVDs and or empty your Sky+s hard drive too. (FX)Prison Break 9:00-11:00pm
In case you missed the news, Five are going to conclude Season 1, with double-bills for the remaining two weeks. Episodes 19 and 20 air tonight, and are repeated tomorrow night from Midnight, whilst the jaw-dropping conclusion will air next Monday evening, with another two-hour, double-bill! Will Michael, T-Bag, Lincoln, Westmoreland and Sucre escape, or will the Warden, Dr Tancredi or Bellick finally catch them in the act, and stop them in their tracks, with something more permanent?! Expect the unexpected, but enjoy the stunning conclusion over the next two weeks! This will be TV youll remember for a long, long time! (Five)
Return Of The Goodies 10:00-11:30pm
Tim Brooke-Taylor, Bill Oddie, and Graeme Garden relive their finest moments as the comedic trio The Goodies! (BBC4)
FILM: Lock Stock And Two Smoking Barrels (18) 10:00pm-Midnight
Classic 1990s British crime comedy, from director Guy Ritchie. Contains very strong language throughout, violent scenes and some material that may offend. Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (E4)
NEW: Just Jade 10:00-11:00pm
Shes back! Miss Chavdom 2002; the former Butt Munch contestant; the woman who makes a heap of cow-dung look positively intelligent returns to out screens!
Tonight, in the first of her new series in which Jade wants to be a business-woman, she decides to try to launch her own perfume. (Isnt bottling your own sweet, breaking the Trade Descriptions Act?!) Its positively car-crash-tastic TV! (LivingTV)SCHEDULE CHANGE: NYPD Blue 11:45pm-12:40am only
Season 10, Episode 13.
Russ Meyer: King Of Sexploitation 12:00-1:00am
Documentary about the recently deceased US movie director, whose films will be remembered more for their cast, than the films themselves. Russ Meyer was a man who liked his women. And the women, became his films! This documentary explores the man, the myth, and the legend, behind cult classics like Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill, Vixen and Mondo Topless! Expect scenes of nudity, sexual violence, violence, strong language, adult humour and other adult material that you may find offensive! (Five)
FILM: Battle Royale (18) 1:35-4:00am
The controversial Japanese cult movie masterpiece, gets another airing. If you arent aware of this already, it was the movie that was nearly banned in Japan. As Japan nears the end of the 20th Century, the need to control the youth population hits critical. The government introduce the Battle Royale Reform Act (BR Act), in order to ease the situation. The Act states that a randomly-chosen high-school will be selected, and the students forced to take part in a real life-or-death game. The only rule kill, or be killed!
The students are taken to a remote island, given various weapons, and are forced to become assassins, murderers, hit men and cold-blooded killers. When one student remains, the game ends. But this year, some of the students chosen, decide to rebel against the BR Act. Can they turn the game around, or will they be forced to kill their friends? Extreme violence ensues! A shocking movie, no doubt, but a very clever and vicious satire about Japanese youths at the end of the 20th Century, and the state of the nations real-life problem of population control. In Japanese with English Subtitles. Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (Sci-Fi Channel)Tuesday 30th
Angels In America 9:00pm-12:20am
Part 1 of a lengthy two-parter, which concludes tomorrow night. Al Pacino and an all-star cast head-up this drama based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning play by Tony Kushner. New York, 1985. President Ronald Reagan is leading the country. The economy is at its height, and Americans are revelling in their ability to work where they want, spend what they want, and sleep with who they want. But one man, Prior Walter, is all alone. He has no job. He has little money. And he has few friends. Why? Because four little letters, are about to spell the end for him. AIDS has arrived, and is claiming its first Western casualty. Complex, emotive, and hard-work. This drama is not an easy viewing. Its also something that to many British viewers, wont have quite the same emotional resonance. Yet, it is still worth at least one viewing, if only to challenge your own fears, about this evil illness, for which there is still no cure. Contains strong language, brief nudity, and some distressing scenes. Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (More4)
FILM: Blood-Sucking Freaks (18) 10:55pm-12:50am
Another banned movie, gets a UK TV airing, uncut, uncensored, and free of BBFC interference, courtesy of the Horror Channel. (Its still banned in the UK today!) A mad theatrical impresario enjoys entertaining his crowds with macabre tricks. But when his audience starts seeking more and move vicious entertainment, he finds that the only thing that will keep his audience happy, is seeing real death! Suddenly, he finds it necessary to find some victims, for his stage act, and goes on a bloody rampage. I have to confess, that of many of the banned movies and video nasties that have been turning-up on TV over recent months, this is one of the most pathetic! The film is pretty lousy, in terms of its plot and acting, and seems to be solely designed for showing very bad special effects of nubile young ladies in bikinis, being brutally murdered or mutilated. Thankfully, the special effects are bad enough to not be very effective in terms of realism, despite this movie being made in the early 1980s. However, the endless sexism and unrelenting misogyny is really woeful! Worth one viewing to see what the fuss is about, but easily forgettable, and certainly not one worth keeping. Showing uncut and uncensored. Contains graphic gore and sexualised violence, and scenes that some viewers may find disturbing or distasteful. (The Horror Channel)
FILM: M (PG) 11:25pm-1:15am
Fritz Langs masterpiece of 1930s expressionist cinema gets a rare TV outing. Peter Lorre stars as a child-killer, in this fascinating piece of European movie-making. This is the full-length, original German cut, clocking-in at around 113 minutes. The film is in black-and-white, with some German Intertitles (captions-on-screen), and English Subtitles where applicable. Also airing in Hi-Def! Showing uncut, in the original 1.33:1 aspect ratio. Contains some mild violence and mature themes, that may make it unsuitable for younger viewers. (Artsworld)
SCHEDULE CHANGE: NYPD Blue 12:20-1:20am only
Season 10, Episode 14.
Wednesday 31st
Third Watch Special 8:00-9:00pm
The first of a two-part special Third Watch episode, that starts off a rerun of Season 3. In Their Own Words takes the real-life cast from the show, and gets them to discuss with the real-life fire, ambulance and police staff, their thoughts and feelings about the World Trade Centre being struck by terrorists in hijacked aircraft, on the horrific day of September 11th, 2001. Some of the discussions, are extremely moving, and at times truly harrowing, but the cast document the camaraderie that existed both before, during and after that fateful day with immense honesty! The very people the cast portray, were now characters in the show itself, as themselves. The concluding part, airs tomorrow at the same time. Both episodes will be aired completely uncut, as they do not contain graphic details of the events that took place, and there is only one instance of bad language. Very moving tribute, and a good way to help explain that event, to younger viewers. Highly Recommended! (FX)
FILM: Mike Bassett, England Manager (15) 9:00-10:45pm
Hilarious British comedy, for people who love or hate football! Ricky Tomlinson takes the role of beleaguered football manager, Mike Bassett a man for whom incompetence is a middle name. After being made the manager of the latest England squad a job which every other professional manager has turned down Mike is forced to try to do the best he can, with the squad hes got. Sadly, the squad hes inherited are possibly the worst players in history, and Mike is forced into some unusual scenarios in order to get them to work together.. with the intention of getting them into the World Cup! Much of the swearing is deliberately bleeped-out, (as is the male nudity, which gets howlingly pixellated), and in most cases, it actually makes the film far funnier. However, I should point out that Five has made one or two tiny edits to some of the strongest language used. In all honesty, though, you wont notice it, and it certainly doesnt detract from the films bitingly satirical script. Tomlinson is superb, as are the numerous cameos by various celebrities past and present! Whatever you think of sport, this is a great film, and one of the better British films made in recent years. Very, very funny! Stay-tuned throughout the closing credits, for out-takes and additional scenes.
Showing in Widescreen. (Five) Angels In America 9:00pm-12:40am
Part 2 of the two-part Golden Globe-winning mini-series drama. Contains strong language, brief nudity, and some distressing scenes. Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (More4)
ONE-Life 10:40-11:25pm
You may have no interest in her as a TV presenter, but as a fellow human being, you have to give her credit! In the summer of 2005, Gail Porter started to lose all of her hair. She is one out of every 50 people, who suffer from Alopecia the genetic and sudden loss of all your hair. At just 34 years of age, she was forced to accept that she would be both bald and a bald woman. This documentary looks at her life just prior to, during, and after the discovery of her condition, and looks at how she copes in the modern world, where differences in people can be used to bully and belittle the person with the condition. Contains some bad language, and some distressing scenes. Showing in Widescreen. Viewers in Wales can see this show at 11:10pm instead, as can Sky Digital viewers, on the BBC1 Wales channel at EPG number 9XX. (BBC1)
Sex In The 80s 11:05pm-12:10am
First in a trio of related documentaries about the liberalisation of sex, during the 1980s. Tonight, the series looks at Cynthia Payne a Madam, who became rather too well known, for being the lady who kept a South London brothel. After her acquittal in 1987, she became infamous for her sex parties, at which many of the attendees were government ministers, normally in charge of important and high-ranking jobs! To many, she became a national treasure. To some, however, she will be loathed and hated for the power she wielded over those who had power of their own to contend with. Contains sexual material throughout, strong language and some strong sexual descriptions. Showing in Widescreen. (Channel 4)
SCHEDULE CHANGE: NYPD Blue 12:40-1:40am only
Season 10, Episode 15.
FILM: Scummy Man (15) 12:40-1:10am
Hard-hitting short-film based on the Artic Monkeys hit single When The Sun Goes Down. (Released on DVD just a few weeks back, Im surprised this is already airing on TV!) Contains strong language and mature themes. (Channel 4)
Thursday 1st June
Burkes Law 9:00-10:00am, repeated 9:00-10:00pm!
Rerun of the 1970s crime and detective show. (The Performance Channel, of all places!)
FILM: Foreign Correspondent (PG) 1:00-3:00pm
Alfred Hitchcocks superb classic thriller, about a newspaper crime reported who is sent to Europe to cover diplomatic attempts to prevent the outbreak of war. When he begins to dig deep into the various people involved, he soon finds himself in a world of espionage, secret spies, and cloak-and-dagger manoeuvres that may end-up being the death of him permanently! Contains mild violence. Black-and-white. (BBC2)
SCHEDULE CHANGE: Monkey 6:00-7:00pm
Viewers currently watching this show, should be aware that ITV4 are messing about with the schedules again.
After a lengthy absence, you have an episode tonight, and another one tomorrow. Neither is repeated unfortunately. (ITV4)Third Watch Special 8:00-9:00pm
The final part of a two-part special Third Watch episode, that starts off a rerun of Season 3. In Their Own Words takes the real-life cast from the show, and gets them to discuss with the real-life fire, ambulance and police staff, their thoughts and feelings about the World Trade Centre being struck by terrorists in hijacked aircraft, on the horrific day of September 11th, 2001. Airing completely uncut, as it does not contain graphic details of the events that took place, and there is only one instance of bad language. Very moving tribute, and a good way to help explain that event, to younger viewers. Highly Recommended! (FX)
Cinema Dali 8:00-9:00pm
One-off documentary about the extreme expressionist cinema of Salvador Dali, who is most famous for the uncompromisingly eerie short Un Chien Andalou. Also showing in Hi-Def! (Artsworld)
House MD 9:00-10:00pm
I have to recommend this episode, as its the first two-parter that this show has ever done, and its probably one of the finest episodes theyve ever made! When a police officer is brought into the hospital, suffering from a bullet-wound, after being shot in the head. House and the team set-about preparing to remove the bullet and patch the poor man up. At first, everything seems all quite dull and normal with the patients injuries. Theres just one slight problem: the officers in complete hysterics at having being shot, and then Forman starts to exhibit the exact same symptoms! Just what is going on?! Is laughter really contagious? It seems so, but not everything is as it appears! Watch out for the hilariously cruel scene, as House has a CSI-moment, and goes to test the effect of a bullet on the human body. An absolutely, viciously sick sequence, but I guarantee it will also have you in complete hysterics at the same time! And theres another gem of a dark, but oh-so-typical House retort, when Cameron sees the bullet-wound for the first time. I wont print the exchange, but its a belter! Part 2 is on next week, at the same time. Highly Recommended! Showing uncut, and in Widescreen. (Five)
Cracker 11:30pm-12:35am
Providing ITV3 and Sky have rectified the problems of picture and audio issues that has plagued them for the last three or four weeks, you may want to record this. The second story from the first series, To Be A Somebody has a modern-day story about a Bonnie And Clyde-type duo, who are deeply in love, but also deeply psychotic. When the Greater Manchester Police are sent to investigate a brutal murder, little do the team realise that a killing spree is nearing them! Despite being arrested for breaching the peace, Fitz is called in to help, but hes more interested in Panhandle! This is the first of a three-episode story, and its one of the better ones. Parts two and three will air next Thursday and the Thursday after that. Showing uncut, and (hopefully_ in the original 1.77:1 widescreen ratio. Contains violence, bad language and some disturbing scenes. (The BBFC gave this an 18 certificate, and youll soon see why!) (ITV3)
All-Night Horror Triple Bill 12:00-6:00am
Three superb horror films, get their TV transmission, uncut, uncensored, in Widescreen, and exactly as they were meant to be seen! Sisters is on at Midnight, and stars Margot Kidder. At 1:50am, Paul Morrisseys controversial and bloody shocker, Blood For Dracula is shown for the first time, complete and intact. Udo Kier stars in the title role. Then, at 3:40am, the sequel to Blood For Dracula, Flesh For Frankenstein also gets its first uncut airing. This was originally a Video Nasty, and so, seeing it how it should be seen, is great! All three films are great cult films, and worthy of anyones time, especially if you like horror or even downright weird movies! As you probably can expect, there will be graphic violence, strong language, explicit gore and scenes of a sexually violent nature that may cause offence in each film. See if you can stomach them all! (FilmFour Subscribers only!)
SCHEDULE CHANGE: NYPD Blue 12:15-1:15am only
Season 10, Episode 16.
Friday 2nd
Monkey 6:00-7:00pm
A second opportunity to join the Monkey King on his journey to find forgiveness from the gods he has offended. This is a new episode, and not a repeat of yesterdays episode! (ITV4)
The Water Margin 7:00-8:00pm
Another episode of the famous English-dubbed Japanese period drama. (ITV4)
SCHEDULE CHANGE Law And Order / Law And Order: Special Victims Unit
Fans of these series currently showing on Five each Friday night, should note that they have now moved by one hour earlier than usual. Law And Order will now start at 9:00pm, and the hard-hitting Law And Order: Special Victims Unit will start at 10:00pm instead.
NEW: Prostitution 10:00-11:00pm
First in a new three-part documentary series about the worlds oldest profession. The series explores how this job has changed over the years, from being a way for desperate people to make money quickly, at the expense of their psychological health, through the exploitation of women by their male pimps, into what many see now as a potentially lucrative career-choice for both sexes, in the 21st Century, whilst the sex industry in the UK and Europe continues to flourish despite the many legal clamp-downs. As you would expect, the show will contain adult themes, scenes of an explicit, frank and very adult nature, and will deal with material that may offend. Adults only! Showing in Widescreen. (Sky 1)
The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band 40th Anniversary Celebration 10:00-11:00pm
Famous in the 1970s, musician and British comedian Neil Innes and the surviving members of the famous and hilarious parody pop band, perform some of their many hits, including How Fun To Be An Idiot (or Song For The Hopeless as its sometimes known). A host of famous guests join the band onstage, including fans Phil Juppitus and Paul Merton. If youve never seen or heard of the band, then best ask your parents, who will undoubtedly remember them with fondness! A kitsch comedy treat for the young-at-heart! Contains some risqué material, not suitable for younger children. Showing in Widescreen. (BBC4).
FILM: Oleanna (15) 3:10-4:40am
David Mamet is a well-known US playwright. Hes written and worked on numerous hit films and stage shows. This is the movie version of his own award-winning play, that focuses on two characters and one situation that of institutional sexism. William H Macy and Debra Eisenstadt play the professor and student (respectively) at a renowned US university. When the professor is accused of sexual harassment by one of his students during an ordinary meeting about her coursework, a difficult war of words ensues, as each tries to understand the others point-of-view about what actually took place during the talk, that suddenly turns their lives upside down. To some people, the film and play are considered to be hideously dull and a truly pointless 90 minutes of conversation, between two desperately, unlikeable people. However, having seen this film twice now, I find it to be an incredible piece of well-constructed movie-making, utilising two of the finest actors, in an almost continuous take on the way one persons actions can be horrendously misconstrued in this age of political correctness. Can a smile, or a kiss be seen as a personal assault on another person? When does your private space become invaded by others around you? And at what cost is civility to others? A strange film for sure, but a brilliantly minimalist experience. Highly Recommended for fans of challenging and thought-provoking cinema. Contains a single use of strong language, and some mild swearing, as well as the discussion of mature themes. Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (Channel 4)
If youre still with me, then youve finally reached the end of my recommendations for the week. I genuinely hope that there are some worthwhile selections for you all, and that you might look a little further afield from your usual TV choices. There is often plenty of good material on TV, but you just need patience and a good guide to hunt them down. Enjoy the Bank Holiday weekend, and Ill see you all back here, in a couple of weeks, or so.
Pooch
