Hi Everyone,
As you will have noticed over recent weeks, I've not been able to offer you my usual updates. This has mainly been down to sorting university work out. However, I've finally got the chance to go through next-week's listings for you, and I'm back to highlight some of the best (and worst) of what's coming-up on your TV screens, between now and the end of the month!
I hope that this update includes plenty of stuff worth watching, as well as some interesting shows and movies that are airing on some of the less well known digital channels. Enjoy my update!
TV NEWS
Universal TV (in the USA) has announced that the UK division of the Sci-Fi Channel, will soon be starting a +1 variant, on Sky. As per usual, the +1 channel will give viewers a second chance to see some of the best shows and movies that they may previously have had to miss or ignore, because of time-clashes. The +1 channel is likely to start transmitting in the next 6 weeks or so, on Sky EPG number 130, and has been tentatively scheduled for launch on 5th April 2006!
Viewers of The Hallmark Channel may have noted the new channel idents, that are being used instead of the traditional “crown” symbol. This is part of a revamp for the station, and to help the channel improve its image. Hallmark will also be branching out, by offering viewers a second Hallmark Channel, which will start broadcasting later in the year. It's not going to be a +1 variant, but will give fans of the channel a chance to see some of Hallmark's older programming, as well as chances to see newer material and films, at different times to the main channel's schedule. One of the highlights will be the chance to see new programme acquisitions, like “The Shield” (Season 1 onwards), and the latest seasons of Hallmark favourites like “House”, “Law And Order: Special Victims Unit”, “MacLeods Daughters” and “Gilmore Girls”.
Horror fans will enjoy this piece of news: “Redemption TV” has now been on air just over six weeks now. Launched with limited fanfare, it is being transmitted as a block on The Musicians Channel (Sky EPG number 368), each day between 10pm and 5am. Although most of the programming on Redemption is about heavy metal, goth and thrash metal music, the channel has recently been showing films that have either been previously cut or banned in the UK. The films now tend to air between 1:15am and 3:00am. In recent weeks, there have been uncut versions of “Slumber Party Massacre” and “Slumber Party Massacre 2”, a Jean Rollin season (including films that have never been released in the UK), and some historical treasures from Britain in the 1960's and 70's, including the documentary film about witchcraft in Britain, “Legend Of The Witches”. What makes this channel better than the Horror Channel, is that all films are shown completely uncensored, in digitally-remastered prints, with proper widescreen ratios (including 2.35:1 Cinemascope formatted prints)! The added bonus, is that the films are also shown uninterrupted, with subtitled (rather than dubbed) prints where appropriate, and some film transmissions have no on-screen DOG's. On top of all this, there are no crushed credits, or voiceover's to spoil the mood!
In fact, if you're a movie fan, this is a channel that is leading the way! Alas, it's almost impossible to predict or note what will air, anything more than a few days in advance. As such, you should keep an eye on your Sky EPG for the latest channel schedules. One of the highlights for the next few days, includes the 1980 splatter movie classic, “Don't Answer The Phone” (previously listed as a Video Nasty in the UK)! This channel is definitely worth checking out, if you like weird and wonderful movies! Wherever possible, I'll try to note any worthwhile programming, in my updates, if I get enough advanced warning. I should also point out that almost every movie is scheduled to start at odd times (e.g. 1:26am, 1:32am, etc, etc). In my listings, I've rounded the times up, to the nearest five minutes. So a movie scheduled to start at 1:32am, I've listed as starting at 1:30am. However, please note that Redemption's times are susceptible to starting way off schedule. As such, you ma prefer to set any recordings to start at 1:20am, and end two hours later! That way, you will be certain to catch the entire film, if a previous programme over-runs, or they start the movie early!
On with the update!
Saturday 18th March
NEW: Dekalogue (aka “The 10 Commandments”
– 11:35pm-1:30am
Krzysztof Kieslowski's incredible adaption of the 10 Commandments, are portrayed through the people who live in a Warsaw tenement block. Each of the films takes one of the commandments, and then forms an offbeat story utilising the people who strive to get by through their daily lives. Characters appear and disappear, from one story to the next, and what you see is not always what you think. Never patronising or condescending, each of the hour-long dramatic films deal with their themes in a clever and insightful way. All ten films are showing, at various times and days, over the next three weeks, in their original and uncut “15” certificate versions! Tonight we see stories one and two. Highly recommended for film and drama fans, as well as those who loved Kieslowski's “Three Colours” films! Showing uncut, in Polish with English subtitles. **Also see Tuesday night's showing of “A Short Film About Killing”, and Friday night's showing of “A Short Film About Love”. ** (BBC4)
Sunday 19th
Planet Of The Apes – 6:00-7:00pm
This is the short-lived US TV series from the 1970's, spun-off from the original five-movies of the same name. Rarely seen in the UK, this is only its second screening in approximately 15 years! Two US astronauts crash-land on a planet, only to find the inhabitants are apes who demonstrate some shocking behaviour, including very human capabilities like speech and thought! Not as bad as many claim, and seeing as the show only lasted 14 episodes, it's worth watching once, just for the premise. Intelligent sci-fi viewing! (ITV4)
NEW: Everybody Hates Chris – 8:00-9:00pm
The start of the controversial new US comedy, based on US comedian Chris Rock's childhood. Although autobiographical in nature, the show has won critical acclaim from some of the biggest and most respected critics, including “Time” magazine! Tonight, sees the first two episodes. (Five)
FILM: Crash (18) – 10:00pm-Midnight
David Cronenberg's controversial drama, that caught the wrath of the Daily Mail, for being dangerous and harmful to its adult audience!
When a TV producer, (James Spader), narrowly escapes death in a car accident, he finds himself drawn into the hidden world of a group of fetishists, (led by Elias Koteas, Holly Hunter and Debra Kara Unger), who find sexual pleasure from staging deliberate automobile crashes. Despite the heavy criticism, this is a film that is assuredly just for adults. You may not enjoy the film's subject matter, but if you let yourself go with the characters, it has a certain pertinence to it, that makes for interesting discussion about the links between pain and pleasure. Highly emotive, but best seen by open-minded folks, and not what many could really call “dangerous”! The film is disturbing, but it is still one of Cronenberg's most restrained works! Contains strong language, distressing scenes and sexual material that is for adults only. Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (ITV4)
South Park –1:05-1:40am
I'm recommending this episode, because it is one of a very few that was originally deemed too explicit to be broadcast on UK TV at all. Time has not made the content any less shocking!
This is the fifth episode from Season 4, entitled “Cartman Joins NAMBLA”! Now, for those who don't know, NAMBLA is a real-life US organisation, which is rarely heard of outside of the USA. However, it's the essence of who NAMBLA are, and what its members do, that causes many people to be offended by this particular episode. I can't go into too much detail, and once you've seen the episode you'll understand why. Contains strong language, sexual scenes and material of a very, very adult nature that will undoubtedly offend, (even by normal South Park standards)! Be advised!
(Paramount Comedy Channel)
FILM: Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (18) – 1:25-3:0am
Late night showing of the full and uncut version of the 1972 dark comedy horror movie, by director Bob Clark and Alan Ormsby. Four friends decide to dig-up a corpse from the local graveyard, in order to perform a satanic ritual. But things go horribly wrong, when their ritual starts bringing the dead back to life, in all their decomposing glory! Contains gore, violence and scenes some viewers may find disturbing. Showing uncut. (Redemption TV)
Monday 20th
NEW: Little Shopping Horrors! – 8:00-9:00pm
Three-part documentary exploring “pester-power”. Why do kids always desire the latest toys, clothing, food or gadgets? Is it the fault of the media? Is advertising to blame? Or do kids instinctively know how to get what they want from their parents? Rachel Morris investigates. Tonight, we look at video and computer games. Tomorrow (episode two) deals with brand names, and on Wednesday, (in episode three), the show looks at how to take control of your child's retailing habits and desires! (BBC3)
NEW: American Chopper – 9:00-11:00pm
Double-bill of the new series of the popular father-and-son team who custom-build motorcycles, of all kinds. Repeated tonight at 2:00am. (Discovery Channel)
Comedy Connections – 10:35-11:15pm
Documentary about a comedy show that the BBC turned down, claiming it would never work. The show? “Drop The Dead Donkey” (BBC1)
Green Wing – 11:05pm-12:10am
Daring and genuinely innovative series that broke all the rules of how a “sitcom” should be produced. Meet Dr Caroline Todd – the newest member of a local NHS hospital. She's sweet, well-meaning, and a good worker. The same cannot be said, about the rest of her colleagues! And the management, are worse still! Will she ever make it through her first shift, intact? This is a repeat run of all nine episodes that make-up Series 1 (airing at the same time, each weeknight, over this week and next!) If you haven't seen it, I'd recommend it, but don't expect to find the usual features of many other British comedy shows. There are no signposts towards the jokes. There's no canned laughter. And the show veers dramatically between outright satire, toilet humour, and genuinely moving drama, sometimes in a matter of minutes. Original and the kind of show that improves with repeated viewings. Contains some strong language. Series 2, starts on Friday 31st March. (Channel 4)
FILM: Fire Maidens From Outer Space (18) – 1:30-3:00am
Dodgy sci-fi horror about a team of astronauts landing on one of the moons of Jupiter, only to find it populated by alien women, who are looking for men to procreate with. Bad acting, bad plotlines, bad jokes – but all done in the best (worst) of cult B-movie standards! Contains sexual material. (Redemption TV)
NEW: The Hoop Life – 1:50-3;40am
Brand new US drama series, based on the documentary “Hoop Dreams”, about the personal and professional lives of basketball players young and old. Tonight, it's the feature-length Pilot Episode. Continues each night, at approximately the same time. (Sky 1)
Tuesday 21st
SCHEDULE CHANGE: Battlestar Galactica - 8;00-10:00pm
Please note: “BSG” starts one hour earlier than usual, (as stated above), as Sky 1 is airing both parts of a two-part story, back-to-back! This also applies to any repeat screenings on Sky 1 and 2, throughout the next week!
Whistleblower – 9:00-10:00pm
Another in the award-winning BBC documentary series. The “Whistleblower” teams have looked into the horrific side of football hooliganism; investigated corrupt traffic wardens in London, and recorded institutional racism in the recruiting of new recruits to the Metropolitan Police. This time around, two undercover BBC journalists infiltrate the hidden world of British estate agents and property managers, and discover how many of them will happily scam ordinary house-buyers and tenants, in any and every way possible, in order to make extra money… even at your expense. Contains very strong language throughout. (BBC1)
FILM: A Short Film About Killing (18) – 10:00-11:30pm
When Kieslowski made “Dekalogue”, he was forced to edit two of the stories down, due to time-constraints. These two stories were frequently cited as being the best out of the entire ten. So Kieslowski re-expanded the stories to their original length, and they were released as separate movies. This is the expanded version of “Dekalogue 5”. When a young Polish man kills a taxi-driver, to escape paying a fare, little does he realise that he will soon be facing his own death by the State. A bleak and shocking drama about the merits and problems of the death penalty. Contains disturbing and violent scenes. In Polish, with English subtitles. (Artsworld)
The Storm Of The Century – 11:35pm-1:35am
First in a three-part repeat of the enjoyably creepy Stephen King story, written specifically for TV. When a strange man comes to a local town, and brutally murders an old lady, the townsfolk are shocked to the core. The man keeps repeating a cryptic clue: “Give me what I want, and I'll go away”. The only problem is, no one knows what it is he wants. It's left to the local sheriff (Tim Daly) to sort out the mess, and stop the man from committing any more murders. Contains occasional scenes of violence, and brief gore. Showing each Tuesday night, for the next three weeks. (Sci-Fi Channel)
FILM: Death Machines (18) – 1:20-3:00am
Another classically bad B-movie, from the Redemption team! An oriental dragon lady injects three martial arts fighters, with a secret serum, that turns them all into zombified-assassins. Trashy exploitation film, of a “so-bad, it's good” variety! Contains violence, gore, and bad language. (Redemption TV)
Wednesday 22nd
NEW: Clerks: The Animated Series – 10:30-11:00pm
After last week's botched scheduling (which saw the first episode air over two-hours later than scheduled, due to live football coverage), I hope that ITV4 won't be bumping this second episode from its designated timeslot. This is the animated version of the Kevin Smith comedy movie of the same name, and voiced by the same actors too.
Dante, Randall, Silent Bob, and the gang are back, causing mayhem and madness in the video store, and the grocery shop, making every customer's life a living hell, as they desperately try to stave off boredom. Not as hilarious as the movie, but still worth watching. This was the only other episode to air in the USA. The remaining four were pulled, and never shown. Thankfully, ITV4 will be airing all six episodes!
Contains some adult material. (ITV4)
Sci-Fi Horror Movie Double Bill (18) – 10:00pm-1:50am
Fancy a double dose of horror, taking you from one extreme to the other? Well, if you do, these two classics should do the job. The night starts off with “The Serpent And The Rainbow”, an unbearably disturbing horror film, based on a real-life story. When anthropologist Wade Williams travelled from the USA to Haiti, to discover how the local population were utilising voodoo, he never knew just how badly he would value his own life! The Haitian's were using voodoo to bring the dead back to life. If Williams was able to harness the spells and plants they were using for the scientific community back home, he would become world famous. But some secrets are meant to be taken to the grave – quite literally! Wes Craven, directs this genre-busting film, and turned a low-budget horror movie, into a jaw-dropping nightmare! Bill Pullman plays Wade Williams, and Cathy Price, the young lady who tries to ward him off of abusing a tradition that the locals do not want to see leave their local population. If you like your horror served-up ice-cold, then you will relish this movie! Probably Craven's finest movie ever made. Showing uncut. Contains graphic violence, sexual scenes, and disturbing material that viewers may find disturbing! Watch out for actor Zakes Mokae as the Haitian town-leader, who is willing to go to any lengths to stop Williams from discovering the secret, and puts a ten-inch nail to an interesting and deadly use! (Sci-Fi Channel)
Following on from that, at 11:50pm, there is the New Zealand horror comedy gorefest, “Braindead”, from Peter Jackson – the man behind “King Kong” and “Lord Of The Rings”. When a Sumatran monkey bites a scientist, he is forced to flee home. However, the bite turns nasty, and soon transforms him into a vicious killer, carrying an infectious plague, that could potentially kill everyone the scientist comes into contact with. At the time of release, this was the goriest and sickest film the BBFC let through uncut, with an “18” certificate. When you start to view it, you'll soon see why it's considered to be so sick! Thankfully, the gore is underplayed with a lot of sensational humour, which stops the film from being overly horrific. But if you stick it out, even the strongest of stomachs might be tested by the jaw-droppingly nasty “finale” involving a lawnmower massacre! Showing uncut. Contains unrelenting gory and graphic violence, strong language, and some sexual material too. (Sci-Fi Channel)
Thursday 23rd
Killer Instinct – 9:00-10:00pm
After ending just last week, here's the start of a complete re-run of the okay US crime drama, starring Johnny Messner and Kristin Lehman, as two police detectives who deal with deviant crimes. The show started off well, with a brilliantly edgy Pilot Episode (showing tonight), but it soon became very similar to many other US crime shows, like “The Inside”, “Law And Order: Special Victims Unit” and “Wanted”, just without their uniqueness. This show was cancelled after just 13 episodes. Showing uncut, and in Widescreen. Contains some adult material and scenes some viewers may find disturbing. (Five)
NEW: Stacked – 9:00-10:00pm
Brand new US comedy, starring ex-Baywatch actress Pamela Anderson. She plays Skyler, the ditzy, but well-meaning manageress of a local bookstore, who longs to get back to being the party animal she used to be. However, her choice is hampered, because of her career. The first two episodes air tonight. (Paramount Comedy Channel)
Angel – 11:00pm-Midnight
For terrestrial viewers who have only seen Seasons 1-4, here's the chance to catch all of Season 5, uncut and uncensored, courtesy of Sky One.
Angel's back, and is now the head of Wolfram And Heart, but begins to receive unusual post. Soon after, a very specific woman comes to visit him. Are the two linked? Showing on different days, and at various times. Please check your usual listings guide, for further scheduling details.
(Sky 1)
FILM: Don't Look In The Basement! (18) – 1:30-3:00am
Previously banned in the UK, at the height of the Video Nasty scandal, in the early 1980's, here's your first chance to see what the BBFC still won't let you see! An asylum finds itself with a new female doctor on hand, but as a patient, not as a staff member. As she begins her recovery, after a murder she witnessed, the other patients begin to viciously torment and attack here. Was the murder connected with the patients? Contains graphic violence, gore, scenes of a sexual nature, and some strong language. Showing uncut and in Widescreen. (Redemption TV)
Friday 24th
FILM: A Short Film About Love (15) – 10:00-11:30pm
When Kieslowski made “Dekalogue”, he was forced to edit two of the stories down, due to time-constraints. These two stories were frequently cited as being the best out of the entire ten. So Kieslowski re-expanded the stories to their original length, and they were released as separate movies. This is the expanded version of “Dekalogue 6”. The highs and lows of unrequited love, as experienced by two single people, living in the Polish tenement block, that “Dekalogue” is set in. In Polish, with English subtitles. (Artsworld)
And so, at last, we reach the end of a long and detailed update, but one that I hope wil prove of worth!
Pooch