New equipment and the wife factor

QuestShield

Distinguished Member
Or a series of unfortunate events the wife blames on anything new.
My equipment is old. My Yamaha RX-V661 AVR is 15 years old this year and was planning to upgrade. First I thought I'd upgrade the centre speaker, which was a Monitor Audio Radius 180HD. The dialogue wasn't bad but the front soundstage seemed to lacking and I had to increase the decibels on this speaker considerably.
I then ordered Dali Oberon Vokal and also Dali Oberon 5's to go with it and replace my aging Monitor Audio Bronze BR2's dating from.. over 10 years ago like all the rest of my stuff.
After 30 days I still had not received my speakers and was told the Oberon 5's were on back order so cancelled them and Hi Fi Hut sent out the Vokal.. but it was white and I ordered black. I went to their collection point and picked up a black one. That was a week ago
Hooked that speaker without having to do much except move the Sky Q box slightly to the left. Job done. Sky was fine and Beelink media player. Great I thought, a no fuss change that'll please her. I then tried Sky Q again. No sound. Of course my wife starts giving out and I'm like but I didn't bloody hardly do anything. It's the new speaker she says.
I traced the issue to what appears to be a non functioning optical port in my old receiver. Why did it stop working now? No idea. Very strange. I swapped cables around, the optical cable is fine it's definitely the port. I get audio with it hooked to a spare optical port. I'm using optical for Sky Q until I get a new AVR then I'll use the HDMI of course.
I then try the Pioneer DVD player. No picture or sound. I wiggle the component cables around and get a picture. No sound. Looks like the Coaxial port in my AVR has also died but when I don't know I rarely use the DVD player. Multi-channel inputs are working though. My wife isn't enjoying any of this.
I run YPAO in Flat mode and everything seems fine. Rears seen louder for some reason but not unreasonably so. TV shows sound fine.
Last night I want to watch The Bourne Identity on Blu-ray. I turn on the player (actually a Panasonic UHD player) and no image appears on TV. The TV is a Panasonic plasma bought in 2011 and it's something else I plan to upgrade. Anyway my wife blames the new speaker for the fact I have no image on the TV. The UHD player sends decoded audio to the AVR via one HDMI cable and the image to the TV via another HDMI cable. I take the HDMI cable which connects to the TV out and get a little electric shock from the end. I have a spare HDMI cable lying around so use that and finally get the Blu-ray on the TV at last. I've no idea why the HDMI cable picked this moment to fail. My wife is not impressed and still said I did something when I installed the centre speaker. I put on the movie and the rears are VERY LOUD much louder than they should be. My wife is not impressed and puts her hands over her ears a lot. Presume I need to run YPAO again but it'll have to wait.
Been thinking on getting the Dali Oberon 3's for L + R as I can't really put them further than 5' apart so floorstanding speakers won't really suit, and a Yamaha A4A. I'd buy them now only for the wife factor.. I've been noticing a lot of comments about wife friendly setups and wives complaining that sound is too loud. Also you can't account for gremlins in the setup.
Are all wives like this and don't believe in upgrading, just buying new stuff when the old equipment stops working?
 

Jay53

Well-known Member
Never had issues with wife factor as I was into home cinema since before we met and that was a long while back.

It helps that we have a TV/mini q box in kitchen/diner, lounge with 55in TV and 2.1 soundbar + sub config, and then 3rd room with the 5.1.2 config so tweaking can be done in that room without interruption to general viewing of SkyQ/Netflix/Amazon prime in the other two rooms.

Might be time to upgrade your wife instead of the home cinema kit :)
 

Zarf2007

Active Member
I think a lot of members on this forum need to 'man up'!! I really do not get this 'my wife did not allow me to upgrade' stuff, I have an agreement with my wife, she manages the decor/style/furnishing of our house, I am in charge of home AV/technology. I do not need to ask permission to upgrade anything.

Obviously if AV kit is on show in the living room there has to be aesthetics taken into account, however that is something I do without having to think about it. (I would never have oak/cherry 1970s looking speakers for example)

I really think that some people get married and its like they regress to 4 year olds. I don't tell my wife that she cannot buy a new designer handbag etc so not sure why she would dictate to me which AV kit I buy....
 
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QuestShield

Distinguished Member
I think a lot of members on this forum need to 'man up'!! I really do not get this 'my wife did not allow me to upgrade' stuff, I have an agreement with my wife, she manages the decor/style/furnishing of our house, I am in charge of home AV/technology. I do not need to ask permission to upgrade anything.

Obviously if AV kit is on show in the living room there has to be aesthetics taking into account, however that is something I do without having to think about it. (I would never have oak/cherry 1970s looking speakers for example)

I really think that some people get married and its like they regress to 4 year olds. I don't tell my wife that she cannot buy a new designer handbag etc so not sure why she would dictate to me which AV kit I buy....

By "man up" do you mean just ignore her completely even though she has to live with the changes you make?
I can't just say "sorry love nothing to do with you", blow a couple of grand on new gear then assault her ears and also make it harder for her to get sound for Strictly Dancing or whatever, when she'd been perfectly happy with sound directly from the TV itself. Sometimes a relationship means compromises.
I envy those with complete freedom is this regard and their own cinema room. But just bulldozing changes in which aren't appreciated or needed in her opinion, isn't the way to go. Saying that upgrades are on the way through necessity due to all the friggin' Gremlins in the system at the moment. I don't know why I'm having all these issues with my gear lately. Age I guess.
 
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logiclee

Well-known Member
I would never have oak/cherry 1970s looking speakers for example)

Cherry was B&W's highest selling 6 series speaker colour in 2010. 😮
 

Zarf2007

Active Member
Each to their own.
Cherry was B&W's highest selling 6 series speaker colour in 2010. 😮

they may well be but they look pants with modern house decor.
 

Jay53

Well-known Member
Indeed. I don't have complete autonomy as the room that the main AV kit is in still part of house so we agreed on how it was to be redecorated (in case anyone was wondering or needs to have that discussion lol, went with admiral blue feature wall behind AV kit, lighter walls elsewhere that tie in with the rest of the house which also have feature walls :) ) and then we redecorated together.

As to all the the tech stuff (every TV, console, pc, avr, soundbar in the house) were bought with my money so I just update them when I see fit. Does mean any tech issues (see what I did there :) ) come down to me to resolve so lots of checking before/after to make sure it's all working correctly, especially in lounge/kitchen :)
 

logiclee

Well-known Member
Well we recently had a listen to the new B&W 801D4. Far out of my price range at near £35k a pair.

My wife did say the Gloss Black/White just didn't look the money and she'd like the Rosenut. 😮

1643650086497.png
 

dante01

Distinguished Member
Well we recently had a listen to the new B&W 801D4. Far out of my price range at near £35k a pair.

My wife did say the Gloss Black/White just didn't look the money and she'd like the Rosenut. 😮

View attachment 1646206



The faux wood finish on cheaper speakers may not be as appealling as you found it on a pair of £35K speakers.
 

Khazul

Well-known Member
By "man up" do you mean just ignore her completely even though she has to live with the changes you make?

I don't think that is meant at all. But really so many post on here with caveats that suggest they seem even scared to have a proper discussion of the subject with their other half.

My wife complained bitterly before the fact and just couldn't see the point at all, nor even getting a better TV than a minimal 32" LCD and despite that I was a producer and DJ and part of my house was a working recording and production studio when she met me (so very strong precedents had already been set).

A bit of dragging around hifi shops educated her a bit on the whys as she got to experience decent sound systems beyond just my studio system.

In the end I told her exactly what I was planning to do including a bunch of new furniture to house it, and some mockups in a 3d app. Years later she wouldn't be without it and loved the changes to furniture, lighting and having great sound for music and TV/Movies and a nice screen to watch them on etc.

So - no I don't suggest just being bullheaded about it, but instead make the effort to sell the concept and get the buy in and help your other half understand. In the end you have as much right to enjoy your music as someone else does to watch crap on the TV.
 

Zarf2007

Active Member
I don't think that is meant at all. But really so many post on here with caveats that suggest they seem even scared to have a proper discussion of the subject with their other half.

My wife complained bitterly before the fact and just couldn't see the point at all, nor even getting a better TV than a minimal 32" LCD and despite that I was a producer and DJ and part of my house was a working recording and production studio when she met me (so very strong precedents had already been set).

A bit of dragging around hifi shops educated her a bit on the whys as she got to experience decent sound systems beyond just my studio system.

In the end I told her exactly what I was planning to do including a bunch of new furniture to house it, and some mockups in a 3d app. Years later she wouldn't be without it and loved the changes to furniture, lighting and having great sound for music and TV/Movies and a nice screen to watch them on etc.

So - no I don't suggest just being bullheaded about it, but instead make the effort to sell the concept and get the buy in and help your other half understand. In the end you have as much right to enjoy your music as someone else does to watch crap on the TV.
Agreed, my wife was wary when I suggested the 65” OLED and yet constantly comments on its clarity when watching concerts and movies. Our home is very black wooden floors, white walls and similar minimalistic furniture layout etc, so cherry speakers would never work. Gloss black on the other hand look and sound fantastic.

I hear the same things from my friends, it’s ok for their wives to want to watch crap soaps all day but their husbands cannot have a decent HT setup.

Adding a decent sub was another winner as my wife’s love of dance music really benefitted from the excellent bass. Again, just as I wouldn‘t know the first thing about home furnishing’s/decor and have been educated by her on this subject, the same applies for AV with her.

Also, don’t underestimate the effect of improving the viewing experience even for stuff like strictly, All of my upgrades have improved both the sound and visual experience of even normal tv programming, right down to the ease of use by using a harmony remote or integration with Alexa. If your system sounds crap and is more difficult to use after upgrades then it’s little wonder the wife is complaining. Maybe the OP needs to learn from that!
 
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QuestShield

Distinguished Member
Good suggestions.. Harmony remote.. new speakers.. new 65" OLED TV.. new AVR. Why not? I'm sold! I've been hard on my wife in this thread tongue-in-cheeky, she's totally low maintenance more than anything, I just don't think she likes bass..
 

logiclee

Well-known Member
Our home is very black wooden floors, white walls and similar minimalistic furniture layout etc,

That's my wife's worst nightmare.

Warm colours and wood panelling are the new in thing according to the interior design programmes that she has on TV.

But for Home Cinema white is the wrong colour for reflections and wooden floors are bad for sound quality.
We need dark walls, carpets, soft furnishings and bass traps. Good luck with that though.
 
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Zarf2007

Active Member
That's my wife's worst nightmare.

Warm colours and wood panelling are the new in thing according to the interior design programmes that she has on TV.

But for Home Cinema white is the wrong colour for reflections and wooden floors are bad for sound quality.
We need dark walls, carpets, soft furnishings and bass traps. Good luck with that though.
Your wife needs to stop watching ikea furniture programmes. As for wood floors, thats what large rugs are for.....
 

Zarf2007

Active Member
Another insult directed at other peoples choices with regards to their home theatre equipment and setups, and homes in general, I see... So people that have cherry, oak or another timber colour for their speakers, or a physical media collection on shelves out in the open (especially if their shelves are made of wood), etc, that don't fit in with what your consider modern and your minimalist ideologies, are sad hoarders that live in a sh*t heap? Right, great logic, and you threw out the words sad and pethetic.

"Oh btw, it's possible to have both fantastic sound and aesthetics, my setup has proved that" - That's your subjective opinion, everyone thinks their setup is great, however, I'm sure I could find things about it to insult, projecting your "sh*t heap" comment back at you listing things which I don't like about your setup and your home.

Shelves with movies on them, speakers (including oak and cherry colours), and other home theatre equipment being out in the open by no means translates into someone being a "hoarder" and living in an unmodern, messy, dirty/unclean, "sh*t heap" squalor. Why do you prefer the minimalist show home look rather than a lived in look? I believe the most common reason for people to want this would be that they want to show it off to other people and care what they actually think, and the to keep up with the Joneses mentally... Now that's sad and pethetic in my opinion if that's the case? Or is it that you have some kind of weird psychological issue, and stress out and get anxiety over a bookshelf in a room, even though it and the things on it can easily be kept nice neat and tidy?

A minimalist in this hobby is just another word for a modern day man who either is restricted by their partners, or is into "home decor, design, and styling the inside of their homes" as you have acknowledged you are, hence, as I originally said, there has been a shift in men becoming more feminine over the last decade or two, as many seem to be getting more involved in this now, and care about it substantially more these days, than they did a decade or two ago. You can prefer to be a minimalist all you like (personally, I don't give two craps about your setup or your home), however, you should be able to do that and enjoy your setup without dropping comments about certain colour finishes being ancient and ugly that plenty of people like and own (and are still available as colour options with some brands and their models, and the companies who no longer offer them didn't stop with this all that long ago, therefore, they are hardly from the 70s/50 year old dated colours and designs), insulting other people choices in speaker colours and size etc, and also without making ridiculous comments about peoples tastes in general, such as "yeah but you would likely have your house decorated like a 90 year old granny. Lovely orange and yellow wallpaper with the nice 70s green bathroom suite to boot. Some of us have style".

My poof comment was merely in response to your comment about "cherry and oak coloured speakers being from the 70s era (when they are clearly not), and that they look pants with modern house decor", for starters I disagree, however, I also do think men that are fussy about home decor and design (and comment about having style lol), to the extent that you have voiced in this thread, are a bit on the gay side... I'm sorry if this upsets you and don't like someone thinking this about you.

Like a lot of things you've said, I'm not sure where your Apple comment has come from? It's a weird comment... I couldn't care less about silly which brand is better computer, phone, tablet, console etc wars.
I don't care about your gay comments as I am not gay and have no issues with people who are, you brought that into the conversation. I guess paying more than £10 for a haircut would also put a man in the gay category in your eyes?

I can see we are worlds apart on our thinking so let's leave it there as I have better things to do with my time.
 

logiclee

Well-known Member
Your wife needs to stop watching ikea furniture programmes. As for wood floors, thats what large rugs are for.....

We've never been and never will. Flat packed garbage.
 

logiclee

Well-known Member
In two years time my life will change dramatically. My current contract finishes at work and I'll be 55 and have the option to draw on pensions to finish work completely. (22 years ago I joined this forum, where did that time go)
We are currently in a three bed semi but I also own a 2 bed detached bungalow.

Our plan is to move into the bungalow and sell the 3 bed semi.

My wife has rightly pointed out the Bungalow living room will not accommodate all my home cinema kit.

So we have compromised. She can have the living room and we'll probably have a smaller TV and a (Shudder) "Soundbar"
Being a bungalow it has a large loft/attic.

So a loft cinema is my plan with zero wife approval needed.

I'm hoping similar to this but with darker none reflective walls.
1643715258883.png
 
D

Deleted member 901590

Guest
So we have compromised. She can have the living room and we'll probably have a smaller TV and a (Shudder) "Soundbar"

Just as a suggestion, there are "nice looking" passive soundbars.
Hidden AVR (worked by remote sender unit or just volume on HDMI-CEC but you do the settings on app). (Or just more discrete AVR like NR1711)
Two very small surround speakers or flat panel (or even the ones that go behind picture frame).
Hidden competent subwoofer.

Doesn't seem as shudder now?

Also worth adding (and this aligns with some of the comments in the thread so far) that I reckon if you got a (normal) soundbar, your wife would complain after a few days as Joni said, "you don't know what you've got til it's gone".

A few weeks ago, I started off the film Equalizer 2 playing on TV sound to see how long it would take :)
 

logiclee

Well-known Member
A few weeks ago, I started off the film Equalizer 2 playing on TV sound to see how long it would take :)

That's a thought I might try that. 😃
 

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