My son has just told me someone is trying to blackmail him online...

Would also add fair play to your son for coming to you with this, not sure if you appreciate how hard that must have been for him. Don't think I could have done the same.
 
Would almost be tempted to write a post on my Facebook wall along the lines of "dear friends and family, been a bit of a silly boy online and its come back to bite me. Thought I was engaged in a lively video call only to discover it was a con and now I'm being blackmailed for the footage. Well, I plan on sleeping easy tonight so won't be paying the blackmailer so if you get sent a video of my meat and two veg in the coming days I can only apologise".

That way it really doesn't matter what the blackmailer does, hopefully your son can sleep easy and just get on with his life (although expect a lot of stick at the family dinner on Xmas day!!!)

@dowzer
I was thinking along the lines of this when I originally looked at the thread earlier this evening. As far as I can see, there are only 2 possible outcomes to this particular scenario, admittedly there are other factors involved, but really it boils down to 2;

  1. The blackmailers do publish the video.
  2. The blackmailers don't publish the video.

Both options are ultimately out of everyone's hands except those of the blackmailer, we're talking about the click of a mouse here - even if the authorities get involved, there's no real immediate way to prevent the video being published, if that's what they want to do. Your son doesn't have control over the video, that much is obvious, but he does have some control over how it's received if published.

Perhaps damage limitation in the way described by @mjward is a sensible option. Look at it this way, if, worse case scenario, option 1 above does happen, then your son has already done something on his terms - and the blackmailer loses their power over him - especially if you son responds with 'Go ahead asshole, publish the video, everyone's waiting already'.

Imo, your son needs to take control over what he can, and not worry about what he can't.
 
Even if the video is published it could be removed immediately from Facebook for inappropriate content and even removed from YouTube for the same reasons. I think the pre-emotive Facebook message is a good way to go plus the deactivating of his account means they don't have access to his friends list anymore.
 
Thanks everyone for the advice. Police have just left after taking a statement but don't think they can do anything more as it appears the blackmailer may be in Morocco. We won't be paying any money that's for sure but this hasn't helped an already stressed son who is up the walls between final year uni work/exams and having girlfriend problems too (they are on a break over christmas until they get back in Jan) He keeps saying his life is ruined!

I do appreciate how tough this was for him to tell me - he came straight down to tell me and I told his mum when i collected her from work at 6 who isnt mad at him - just with the lowlife scum who tries to ruin other people's lives.
 
Even if the video is published it could be removed immediately from Facebook for inappropriate content and even removed from YouTube for the same reasons. I think the pre-emotive Facebook message is a good way to go plus the deactivating of his account means they don't have access to his friends list anymore.
On the plus side one of his female friends might see his junk and take a fancy to him :p
 
Whatever happens - it's a crumb of comfort at a difficult time, that you son can still approach you and discuss something like this. Good luck.
 
Thanks everyone for the advice. Police have just left after taking a statement but don't think they can do anything more as it appears the blackmailer may be in Morocco. We won't be paying any money that's for sure but this hasn't helped an already stressed son who is up the walls between final year uni work/exams and having girlfriend problems too (they are on a break over christmas until they get back in Jan) He keeps saying his life is ruined!

I do appreciate how tough this was for him to tell me - he came straight down to tell me and I told his mum when i collected her from work at 6 who isnt mad at him - just with the lowlife scum who tries to ruin other people's lives.
He's done what all young lads do online, it's just a shame that he has done it with the wrong person. He is safe and in a few years it will probably be a funny story he can tell his friends.
 
If it's friends & family, hopefully everyone will be sensible enough to delete it immediately if they're sent it.

Your son needs to get perspective on the 'ruined my life' bit. It's bad but it's not that bad.

A video of a naked guy he'll be the butt of jokes & made fun of for a few weeks but it WILL blow over, & life will go back to normal. It'd have been infinitely worse if he was a daughter.

Double standards it may be, but naked guy nobody will care in a months time. Naked girl video, yes that can ruin their life.
 
If you think it may comfort him I would get him to think about his reaction if it happened to one of his mates. Personally I would be in stitches and give him stick in the pub but never would I think any less of the person or have ill will towards them. Putting it into context the worst outcome is that his pride is dented and becomes the butt of jokes for a few weeks, nothing worse.
 
If you think it may comfort him I would get him to think about his reaction if it happened to one of his mates. Personally I would be in stitches and give him stick in the pub but never would I think any less of the person or have ill will towards them. Putting it into context the worst outcome is that his pride is dented and becomes the butt of jokes for a few weeks, nothing worse.
We are all assuming that what he did in the video was quite 'vanilla' when it could be something pretty embarrassing. Hopefully it isn't and you are right but I would be creased if I had done something quite outrageous and it was caught on film.
 
You're right although given the websites I look at I don't know what vanilla is anymore! [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]
 
There's another option... But it would take balls (no pun intended, really :) )

Get your son to make his own video, a replica of the Skype video and, with a bit of blur added to protect his modesty a little, post in online himself with the reasons why and send the link to the blackmailer.

If he's really brave, he could just go straight in without the blur.

The blackmailer is Moroccan yes? If he's really really really brave, he could post without any blur and then, at the end, do 'the money shot' all over the Morrocan flag.

Ok, option 3 is a bit out there, but 1 or 2 would certainly give a big two fingers straight back at the blackmailer.
 
I'm surprised that no one has mentioned about if this person really does have a video of the call.

They have a screen shot but we all know that isn't proof of a video existing right? It's easy enough just to do a screen grab and the person who is being blackmailed is non the wiser.

Still not an ideal situation if that is the case, but one screenshot isn't as bad as a video.

Also, how did a total stranger find the right Facebook account because having a name sometimes isn't enough these days? Are you sure it isn't a "friend" pulling a prank on him?
 
There's another option... But it would take balls (no pun intended, really :) )

Get your son to make his own video, a replica of the Skype video and, with a bit of blur added to protect his modesty a little, post in online himself with the reasons why and send the link to the blackmailer.

If he's really brave, he could just go straight in without the blur.

The blackmailer is Moroccan yes? If he's really really really brave, he could post without any blur and then, at the end, do 'the money shot' all over the Morrocan flag.

Ok, option 3 is a bit out there, but 1 or 2 would certainly give a big two fingers straight back at the blackmailer.
Option 3 made me laugh - may be a bit unfair on Morrocans though since it is highly unlikely the person is Morrocan or even located there.
 
Well the thing that strikes me about the story isn't your son pulling his pud online, it's this 'on a break' business. You have told him his girlfriend has done this so she can get a good rogering from as many men as possible over the xmas/new yr period haven't you? All the while she's doing that he's there cranking off to fake Skype videos and being blackmailed.

Not the best. He's best to dump her completely as there's no point going back there after that's happened.

The blackmail thing sounds highly embarrassing but nothing more. I wouldn't stress too much about it if I were him. As someone else said it might even get him a bit of real life action.
 
Last edited:
Exactly my thoughts, this sort of thing would have tipped me over the edge when I was mentally frail, take very close care of your son @dowzer especially if he's already stressed and potentially broken up with his girlfriend. Christmas is an especially difficult time of year for sufferers of depression.

Really take care of him, hope he gets through this rough ride with just a funny anecdote to tell when he's older, poor guy. As others have said be overjoyed he's come to you about it, takes a lot to fess up to something like this.
 
Mehh. nowadays nobody is shocked really, tell the scammer to jog on and by this time next year it'll be a funny story.

Also never show your face whilst doing this sort of thing, so I have been told.
 
Is there any evidence out there of one of these vides actually ever being published? It's not the first time I've read about this happening but I don't recall the threat ever followed through.
Might be worth doing some research, talk to the expects who educate on this subject (there's been a talk at our local school recently but I didn't go) and see what you can find out. If he had some reassurances that this is just a scam with the highly likely probability that the video will never surface you hopefully won't find him stressing over it too much. If he does then I'd recommend the thecalmzone.net, they look out for young men.
 
Is there any evidence out there of one of these vides actually ever being published? It's not the first time I've read about this happening but I don't recall the threat ever followed through.

These links suggests it's true. According to the video the women in the videos are not really communicating, they are pre filmed and react in whatever way the scammer controls them .

Crimewatch - Sextortion - BBC One

Police warn men over online 'sextortion'

Men fall victim to online 'sextortion' - BBC News
 
Last edited:
I know it's easy for us to say, but take it on the chin and move on. It will go away eventually. I have done some dumb stuff in my time which I would rather live down.
He is old enough and will get the pee taken out of him for a while.

For future reference, it's not one of those funny stories to tell your kids later in life ;)
 

The latest video from AVForums

TV Buying Guide - Which TV Is Best For You?
Subscribe to our YouTube channel
Back
Top Bottom