Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Tim Cooper, Apr 17, 2005.
What shall we talk about
Well can talk about why both of us have taken so long to get here.(Ok i'm nearly here/there!)
Quality, rather than quantity?
Never the one to engage in inane, banal, & pointless chatter.....or is it (essex speak) I ain't got nah mates
Congratulations BTW on your new arrival, I hope the dear little one has made his presence known & completely turned your world upside down....ahh well only another 25 years to go then there is grand kids
It has definitely been a rollercoaster!
Just when we think we are getting the hang of being new parents, something new crops up.(He got a cold and chest infection last week!)
He is six weeks old now, and just starting to smile and gurgle
Having children simply gets better all the time.As the weeks and months roll by so do the laughs.Hard sometimes.Amazing most of the time.Enjoy it.
I cant wait to join the club. My wife & I plan to start trying soon.
However everytime I start thinking about it and the whole process, it scares me death. Am I alone in feeling this way? It just seems so much can go wrong.
Get in my son !
Nope, eveyone feels that when the first is on the cards. We've only got one at the moment so can't speak for the the ones after !
Best advice I can give is to roll with. The thing that scares you is the fact there are so many possibilities - sleeping through nights from step 1, not sleeping through nights, breast or bottle, not taking to bottle milk, screaming all the time, not screaming enough, funny looking poo etc. Just take a look at the Measles poster in your doctors, it shows a baby and points to different parts of the body describing symptoms of Measles....only thing is they contradict each other. EG, Baby is Irritable or Lathargic (sp), Sleeps all the time or doesn't sleep enough. Thing is, a lot of kids are like this anyway.
Don't be scared of calling the Midwife or Health visitor or NHS direct when your wife is pregnant or after the birth, that's what they are there for, to help. Even if you call 3 times in the night !
My daughter is 6 months now and she's wonderful, absolutely wonderful ! I had not idea what to expect so I expected nothing/everything. Taking this approach means that whatever happens, you wont be surprised/frightened when it does.
Also, you being more laid back which WILL reflect on your child. If you are laid back, your child will be laid back. Everyone has remarked on how content our daughter seems to be and that it follows mine and my wifes nature, whereas my sister (Gave birth 5 weeks after my wife) is quite uptight and worries if her son only has 6 feeds in a day instead of the normal 7 etc and it reflects on him not being able to settle easily.
BTW, Paul D, congrats on the new arrival. Just wait for the first giggle, it's amazing !
Richie, recently new parent and still learning.......
Tejstar, you are not alone!
It is hard not to think about what can go wrong.
But we took the decision, to be prudent but not overly negative.
So my wife had the blood tests that identify "risks".
They came back fine, so we just relaxed and tried to enjoy the experience.
The first day at home is the most worrying!
Here you are with zero baby knowledge, yet they let you take them home! (we had more checks on us from the dogs home, when we wanted a couple of dogs! )
We were both surprised how basic his needs were.
If he cried, he was offered milk.
If he carried on crying after milk, we checked the nappy.
If he cried after that........we cried!!!
I just can't understand why i (she was keen 15 years ago!)put this off for so long.
There is no feeling like looking into your own childs eyes...
RIGHT! that's enough of the sensitive stuff, we will be discussing brands of nappies next!
Tims reached 1000 posts, so the beers on him!
Without doubt the most stressful time of my life, babies & all, they get more interesting from about 2 years of age,I never really appreciated the kids until all the cuddles were gone, the kisses goodnight, & play fighting, cherish the time chaps because boy does the time shoot by & in no time at all they turn into KEVIN
Bloody teenagers, neahh the buggers, would have had myself sterilised if i'd known if you thought the worry ends when they are more independant think again Remember a kiddies "just not for Christmas"
My dad said that the worst time for him, the absolute worst, was when I first passed my driving test and went out on a night, he said he couldn't go to sleep until he heard me pull into the driveway...I'm getting married in two weeks and plan (fingers crossed) to start a family straight away...I feel really nervous about it though, never thought I would, but I am really starting to think deeply about what it will mean to be a dad, will I be any good at it? I don't really feel grown up myself...I am 30 years old, play video games, have a massive trampoline in the garden, my scalextric track is set up in the living room, I watch Teen Titans and Transformers before I go to work in a morning...I even have Coco Pops for breakfast...
And judging by your avatar you still pick your nose, belly button and eat it
Definitely still a kid
I'll have one on you as well please Paul
Same here nice 1 Paul
Find me at "Event 3", and i will get the beer in!
He has a tra-mam-poline!!!
(Taken from the Simpsons that i never watch...honest!)
For me, everything went out of the window and there was onlyone thing I wanted to do, look after our daughter. Deffinately didn't want to go back to work !
Can't tell you what it will mean to you, but I can tell you what you will feel when you hold them for the first time.....
......on top of the World !
Anyway, apparently the biggest problem when kids get to toddlers age is communication. Sounds like that will come naturally to you as you're still a child ! Bonus !
Thanks for the advice guys. Despite the fears I have, I know deep down that having a baby is probably the most magical thing that can happen to a person.
Luckily my wife has lots of experience with babies, she helped look after her nieces when she was living at home. I suppose the reason why Im scared is due to my lack of knowledge. Everyone tells me that for the first few weeks youre really cautious and then after that you realise despite their size theyre resilient little mites!
How much do babies cost anyway? I would think they would make a pretty expensive alternative "home entertainment" system...
I heard that bringing up a child (0-18) costs £250,000 but in baby form there are savings you can make. Eg, Using reusable nappies (Not as bad as you think !), making your own food with fruit, veg and a blender.
Big costs are things like a pram, crib, cot, bedding, clothes, furniture, car seat, steriliser, bottles etc but if there are any family/friends who have this stuff to give away (Not a car seat though, you don't know if it's been in an accident) then look to them for stuff. Toys will come later because newborns don't really do much. That'll be from about 6 months upwards.
I dont even want to imagine how thats possible!
Who would clean it Maybe Im still too immature to be a father
Tim, how come you are a "Registered User" and not a "Senior Member" ? (after 1000 posts etc)
That's easy, the wife does it ! Apparently our daughter has a habit of filling her nappy about an hour after I've left for work each day so I'm not around to change it. Superb !
The answer I was looking for! I want to be a new-age ad and all that (when the time comes) but I think Ill be passing nappy duties to SWMBO!
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