Ah yes, but perhaps there's a tension between sex (your biology) and gender (cultural learning)?
For example, I am also a biological man and heterosexual, but I was primarily raised in an all-female household and have subsequently felt closer emotionally to women than men.
Also, rather enjoyably, I have persistently had people assume I was Gay for much of my life, probably because I have no interest in being stereotypically "masculine" at all. My father desperately tried to make me more "manly" when I was a child, but my sisters would just take the piss at my pathetic attempts so I rapidly gave up.
It was problematic when I went to an all-boys school, I must admit, and I did lose all my confidence at the time, but it now feels like a previous life, thankfully.
What I really don't understand is anyone who feels threatened in some way by anyone who's different? If you're more comfortable being traditionally masculine then fine, but I don't see why that means you have to hate anyone who's not. It doesn't mean the breakdown of society or men being emasculated, I think it means individuals being more true to themselves and refusing to just follow the herd so it makes other people feel more comfortable.
I suppose you are comfortable in your identity, Doug, which is why you are tolerant and accepting of difference. If only more people were like this....
Where, or rather When did it all go wrong for Human Males?
I'm sure Men used to wear makeup and lavish cloths in the past, which would be looked upon a very weird today.
Lest we forget we, or rather our current accepted societies norms arem one could argue against nature.
Is it not mostly the males of many species that are the Biggest, Boldest, Brightest colourful ones?
Being as impressive and flamboyant as possible to attract the dull drab brown/grey females.
What went wrong for the Humans?
Why are the women the only ones to decorate themselves to attract a mate?
Methinks Men should be allowed to cover lost ground here.
We just need to STOP enforcing gender stereotypes onto children, as there is no reason why one sex should be allowed to do/wear/say things and another sex something different.
I think what Doug is trying to say Derek is that you must learn to accept who you are as a person and be whomever you wish to be. Childhood experience's do have an effect on how we see ourselves and how we see and relate to others. However, other people are completely unaware of those experiences. Its up to us as individuals to make choices that benefit ourselves and those we have close personal ties with such as friends and families.
Personally my identity has changed a few times, I had an awful time as a teenager, early twenties to late twenties was good, changed to family man till mid forties. Now I'm having an Indian summer, comparatively to men my own age my experience is positive (That experience is driven by my own choices though). The more relaxed and confident you are with your own identity the more comfortable and accepting people will be around you.
At the moment I have more female friends than male, enjoy female company better than male.
Men do decorate themselves, the current trend for everyman especially the young is for beards and sharp suits, skinny fit clothes, sleeve tats. Wealthy men attract people thru access to resources.
A person in a Range Rover will attract different attention to someone in a Qashqai for instance. People compete for attention from those they want relationships with in different ways, success is dependant on many factors. People look at others and judge, compare, contrast with themselves, some people admire, some act jealously, some politicise every interaction we have between each other. Such is the way for the world, acceptance and rejection is part of life.
My only objection to post modern gender political thought is interference in a families choice in how they choose to raise their children. I have 3 daughters, without going into in depth studies my own observations lead me to believe more in nature vs nurture concerning behaviour. Just a thought, maybe nurturing nature would be more successful in creating a balanced civil society.
Academically my degree covers the gender debate, the current effects of behaviour will have an effect on the micro and macro economy. Not really the right forum to be going off on that tangent though.