Marriage & Money

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by BB3Lions, Jul 24, 2018.

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  1. Pay for it herself

  2. Joint account pays for it

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  1. BB3Lions

    BB3Lions
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    Having a domestic at the moment due to the wife thinking our joint billing account should pay for her car, although she works for a living.......

    Apparently, I should be looking after her as I'm her husband? Although we both work full time, we each contribute equal amounts to our shared billing & savings account.

    Can someone explain the logic as I honestly simply do not get the thought process?
     
  2. wiz

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    Both working should be 50-50 unless other half is looking after kids as well
     
  3. nheather

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    I think I'm missing some information. Are both your earnings going into the joint account? If so then the expenses come out of that account - that's how it works in my house.

    Disagree with the 50-50 too. For example, if the wife earns £20k and the husband £40k, I see that as £60k shared. So if the wife needs a car for £12k I expect it to come out of the £60k shared, not that the wife pays £6k and the husband pays £6k (if you want to mathematical about it, the wife effectively pays £4k and the husband £8k, so 33:67, not 50:50).

    Cheers,

    Nigel
     
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  4. BB3Lions

    BB3Lions
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    We both have our personal accounts where our salaries go into, we each month put the same amount into our joint billing & savings account; and use that for everything such as shopping, our son, holidays, etc We then have what's left over in our personal accounts to spend on what we want.
     
  5. WeegyAVLover

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    What is your joint account for?

    We have a joint account and all household bills come out of that account except for fuel and grocery shopping, however if either one us end up spending more on these things and are a litte short then there is no issue taking some money out of the joint account.

    When there is a big purchase like a car I would expect the payments to come out of the joint account. I think as Nig says above it depends on how much each of you earn, my wife and I earn together more than 90% of households in the country, we are not rich, not even close to it, but are certainly better off than most so money is not the flashpoint it can be for others who earn less.

    Do you each have your own car?
    Do you each earn roughly the same amount of money?
    Do you normally pay for your cars separately or does it come out of the joint account?
    Is there any issue with her using the joint account to pay for her car if your wife or both of you increase your contributions?
     
  6. nheather

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    Ahh, I see, more complicated then. Never done anything like that and probably not possible to come up with perfect advice without knowing the exact circumstances.

    But simply, you should only take out of the joint account what has been budgeted and put in. So if she wants to draw car payments from the joint account then you both need to agree how much each of you are going to put into the account to cover it. How that split works is down to how you run your lives.

    Cheers,

    Nigel
     
  7. JimmyMac

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    We have a bills account, from that we pay all the monthly bills including the mortgage, until recently it also paid my wife’s car (just finished paying for it). I pay slightly more as I earn more but I do the weekly food shop from my own account.

    I have a company car and the wife’s was on hire purchase
     
  8. hippo99

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    So the car that you talk about in the ‘corrupt police officer’ thread, was/does this paid for from the joint account or from just your account?
     
  9. BB3Lions

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    • We both earned the same up until April, but now i earn more.
    • We both have separate cars, we pay our own bills (car tax, fuel, insurance, MOT etc) - if we use her car for camping; we use the joint account to fill it up.
    • We pay for everything to do with the house (bills, shopping, holidays) from our joint
    • We buy our own stuff (me: golf, alcohol, clothing; her shoes, makeup etc)
    Now i earn more, it looks like i should put more in by all accounts?
     
  10. nheather

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    Well in that case, she should pay for her car out of her personal account.

    Cheers,

    Nigel
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2018
  11. imightbewrong

    imightbewrong
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    Can't advise - we've never had a concept of 'own money' - just a pot that everything comes out of, whether it's for all of us, like a family holiday, or something just for me, like a holiday for her.
     
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  12. Thug

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    Do you not allow yourself a certain amount of 'pocket money' though?
    Say you want something for yourself as a 'treat', but fairly expensive, and so does she, then how do you go about that?
    Or are you well off enough to not worry.
     
  13. imightbewrong

    imightbewrong
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    No we've never had individual budgets - for expensive things we will probably agree with each other first - maybe :) Expensive is a relative term based on overall income.

    SWMBO didn't work for quite a few years while the four children were young - do working spouses pay their other half an allowance in this type of case? :)
     
  14. fat jez

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    I would say you should split living expenses (what goes into the joint account) in the ratio of what you both earn. So if you earn £60k and the wife earns £40k, then you pay 60% of what you need to pay the bills and she pays 40%.

    That said, I don't consider buying a car part of the living expenses or she could have a flash motor that you are paying half of while you are stuck with an old banger because you can't afford anything better.
     
  15. Thug

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    We do the same.

    In our main jobs (my only job) we earn a similar amount ( I earn a couple of grand more) and we both put the same amount into the bill account which more than covers the bills (so adds up to a little extra contingency for things like vet visits). All the house bills come out of that account, where our own 'personal' bills, like car insurance, fuel, phones, etc come out of our own. Food is bought when ever we need it and either I pay or she does, just depends who goes to the shop at the time.

    My other half works 2 extra jobs (call taker on 101 and marking course work), so actually earns a LOT more than me and at the end of each month I am skint, where she can still afford nice clothes for herself or to take her daughter away on holiday (recently Barcelona and Paris) where I have not had one in a few years.
    She does offer to pay for me, but I refuse, I would feel guilty as its her money and she has earned it and deserves to spend it on what ever she wants.

    I wouldn't dream of asking her to pay for a car for me or expect it to come from the bill/joint account.

    I do feel a little jealous at times when she is buying a handbag or new dress, and I am in the red and worried about buying fuel. But I still wouldn't take anything from her or deny her enjoying the money she works for.
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2018
  16. safcalibur

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    its simple in my house, I earn it, she spends it!
     
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  17. Ste7en

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    If you earn more it should benefit the household, not just you.
    Sorry, that sounds a bit preachy.

    How about you both change your approach to the budget. Throw everything in the pot and cover everything. Anything left then take your 'pocket money' out.

    Could you manage with the one car? If not it is a joint expenditure. Likewise your car.
     
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  18. Thug

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    I am on the other side of the coin here, where my OH earns more than me due to having 3 jobs.
    I wouldn't dream of putting all the money into one pot in case I over spent.
    Its her money, she has worked hard for it, let her spend it on whatever she wants.
     
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  19. Ste7en

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    I just see it as our money, but we do earn the same(ish).

    Three jobs! Wow, I struggle with one.
     
  20. BB3Lions

    BB3Lions
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    It's because your always on here :p
     
  21. imightbewrong

    imightbewrong
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    Isn't sharing what marriage/partnership is all about?
     
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  22. IronGiant

    IronGiant
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    I suppose you could argue that the cost of a basic car required to get to work could come from the joint account but any upgrades to something flash should come from the personal account. But if you've previously bought your own cars what has changed that makes her think hers should come from the joint account? Not just your recent increase in earnings surely?
     
  23. BB3Lions

    BB3Lions
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    That is what has me bamboozled! She earns, she drives to work, it's her car; it must be because i am now earning more - women; maybe this should go in the TIL thread, the women is there something wrong with their wiring thread & the irrational and not-so-irrational annoyances thread!
     
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  24. nheather

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    Each to their own, not saying my way is better .... everything my wife and I earn goes into one account. I earn about 3x what she earns but I don't consider that money is mine and that money is hers but it is all ours. Much simpler in my opinion, and avoids the financial contract feel that other approaches have.

    However, I will say that we are financially comfortable, plenty of money left at the end of the month so we don't have to worry too much about who spends what.

    Cheers,

    Nigel
     
  25. EarthRod

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    IMO your wife is a married but independent woman with her job and bank account - as it's her car she should continue with her independence and pay for it.

    The other alternative is to pool all money (yours and hers as a married couple) into a single account and all expenditure comes out of the pool. She then looses her financial independence.

    The choice is then down to her.
     
  26. dms

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    You're married.. whatever either of you buy will be a part of the matrimonial assets subject to partition if the marriage were to end (don't mean to sound dramatic, it's just the law!). So whatever she buys is partly yours and it's not that she is getting something from the joint account and you're not getting anything for it.

    That people have their joint account, own account and secret-own account (I know people who do that) is irrelevant to the law, it would all be divided equally if the marriage ends and if both parties know about it...

    On that basis I'm afraid I'd go with it 50/50 even though it's a car you won't use and it will devalue and have associated further running costs. However if it is a work car and she gets any payment for using her car, say expenses for petrol or a salary clearly for having a job you should clearly expect some of those benefits to go to the joint account.

    Of course I would argue on the same basis that the Mrs should be paying for 50% of all home cinema equipment, and that worked for me (apart from speakers... grrr ;-)
     
  27. Thug

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    Absolutely, and if I earned more I would share it with her.
    I possibly spend more than she does on food etc as I am off more than her. I work 4 on 4 off, so have 4 days off to do what I want (usually house work though). She works 5 days a week 9 til 4/5 and then either marks on an evening/weekend or goes to 101 for 3 or 4 hours, so has less time to do shopping. I spend about £30 per month on green coffee beans and about £50 on steak that I don't think she has ever bought yet.
    Still doesn't stop me feeling guilty spending what I haven't worked for.
    Perhaps its just my morels or something.
     
  28. wiz

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    Where did you get that idea?:D:nono:
     
  29. safcalibur

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    It was a little tongue in cheek joke mate, I was just kidding :)

    TBH I am the only earner in the house, she wanted to look after the kids and will (hopefully) go back to working when the all the kids are at school. I dont earn a massive amount at all (sometimes I think the wife doesn't appreciate that but thats another thread!) but its enough for us to live on. Savings are pretty much non existent at the moment but we have a little lump sum tucked away for a rainy day other than that we try and manage on what I bring in. So far so good touch wood. its tough and I'm sure a lot of people are in the same situation, enough respect to everyone out there busting their behinds to earn an honest dollar and provide for their families :)
     
  30. booyaka

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    exactly the same - a single joint account.....everything in/everything out. Any "large" purchases that are outwith the norm, say expensive pair of shoes for the wife, or new phone for me etc - quick discussion that they we are buying and just buy it.

    Married 16 years with 2 kids - too much other stuff going on to start with the whole, your account, my account, your payment, my payment - your turn to pay for dinner.

    Never ever had a single argument over money.
     

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