Life is one of boredom and emptiness

WhyAyeMan

Member
Thanks again for all of the replies. It is appreciated, I am actually quite surprised at how good the replies have been here, particularly as I am not exactly the most well known member here, and also the fact I know how these posts often come across to others. I will probably need to read this thread several times for a lot of it to even sink in!

There is a lot of good advice here, and believe me, I will read this thread again and again and certainly intend to do something about it. If anything this thread has made me realise that I am probably quite harsh on myself overall, I am perhaps my hardest critic, and I will look back on this when I feel down again.

I think I need to think about where my life is going now, it needs a change in direction, and I need to figure out just what direction I need to go. As someone else said there is no quick fixes, and its definitely going to be a work in progress. Really, I think I need to kick myself up the backside and start thinking more about what to do in the future.

I know that on the face of it my life is not bad at all really, but sometimes, and especially when you feel rather alone in the world, as I often have lately, its difficult to maintain some true perspective on things. Nevertheless, the replies here have made me realise I am not as alone as I think and that life is not as bad as I sometimes believe it to be. I think I just need reminding of that sometimes.

Thanks again. :thumbsup:
 

la gran siete

Distinguished Member
. If anything this thread has made me realise that I am probably quite harsh on myself overall, I am perhaps my hardest critic, and I will look back on this when I feel down again.

Really, I think I need to kick myself up the backside and start thinking more about what to do in the future.

:thumbsup:
Bit of a contradiction here:nono:.Be kind to yourself and dont listen to those who tell you that there are many who are far worst off etc like no arms, legs been shot at etc The fact is you have a problem, like anyone who has a physical or emotional disease, which needs sorting.Take your time ,get help, move forward.Take good care of yourself
 

johntheexpat

Distinguished Member
I will probably need to read this thread several times for a lot of it to even sink in!

...... I will read this thread again and again and certainly intend to do something about it.

:devil::devil::devil: Time to use the edit feature to keep changing my advice. If enough people join me we can really confuse the OP :devil::devil::devil:










Only joking :hiya:
 
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Monopot

Well-known Member
Felt the same as you recently mate, I'm 28 and married for 2 years (best thing I ever did).

I work in IT support and hate it so I'm making a change.

Currently in the process of emigrating to Oz. When I have my visa we are going travelling round the USA/South America etc on our way to Oz and then touring Oz for 3 months.

Also taken up photography as a hobby recently and am looking to retrain as a chef so I am out of IT.

Life is what you make it.
 

Girthvader

Active Member
pbirket......................

When I started reading the first post,I honestly thought it was going to have a funny ending...i.e a bit of comedy attached.....You DEFFO need something to look forward to at the Weekend and DEFFO get a job that you enjoy.....(easier said than done for the majority of us).
When I was 25........living at home with parents,attractive girlfriend,I had every gadget you could ever wish for,apart from a lazerdisk.....:rotfl:,disposable income,etc......but,I was sooooooo bored.
Every Fri/Sat night consisted of Booze,cheesy nightclub,kebab and a hangover...................
Then,I discovered Clubbing...i.e Godskitchen,Cream,Gatecrasher,Tidy Weekender,IBIZA and for the last 11 years every weekend has been superb........and I drive to all the venues....:cool:
You need to find something to look forward to.......In the week,after work(I'm a sales rep) all I do is sit like a saddo on the works computer,go home and watch films,play xbox,have a blast on the decks.......
But,when the Weekend comes....................:smashin:


(Hope that helps by the way)......:thumbsup:
 

Dextur

Distinguished Member
I think LGS and a couple of others have made some valid points re depression, while I know it's all the rage for people to pretend it's just something you should "shake out off" , my wifes best friend suffers from it and it's real, it's tangible and you may well be suffering from it.

The fact that you essentially try to self destruct personal relationships is a classic example of depression, god forbid it should work, you might have to deal with it, or even worse justify that you deserve to be happy.

I doubt this is simply down to having a boring job you detest, you've been very open about your feelings on here, I would take some time to investigate further if a medical issue is at the heart of the feelings of emptyness.

BTW:

sometimes, and especially when you feel rather alone in the world, as I often have lately, its difficult to maintain some true perspective on things.

That's also classic depression 101.

While I do think you should seek specialist medical advice, equally you don't want to talk yourself into depression as the cause, but it shouldnt' be ruled out.
Good luck for the future.
 
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Perceval

Banned
To the OP, you may well be suffering from depression..................

....but.... I have some heart felt and sincere advice for you:

You will not get the help you need whilst you are drinking heavily. You'll be told that your problem is first and foremost alcohol.

You'll be reminded that alcohol is a depressant itself.

You'll be told that any anti depressant medication will not work whilst you are drinking.

In short you'll be ignored.

If you can, knock the drink on the head for a couple of months (if you have withdrawal your GP should be able to help with Librium/Valium).

Then demand to see a psychiatrist.

They'll do a blood test, if you are still drinking heavily they'll see you have very raised liver enzymes (Gamma GT, serum bilirubin, ALT, Mean Corpuscular Voume etc.....) and make unfair (.....on you conclusions).

I know this because I have seen quite a few people go through this whole process.

It is wrong and unfair, but the fact of medication not be absorbed properly with alcohol in your system is correct.

To cut to it.........stop drinking for a while and seek professional help.
 
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sianba

Active Member
You need to look in the mirror ask your self what you want in life, then get your head out of your Arse and do it.

I know that sounds frank but im not going to bore you with the sorrys and it will be all right as you already know, you are already at that stage in life where you have took every think into consideration looked at it and found the answer you just dont know it or dont want to know it.

Most people i speak to are like you, have you ever listened to somebody about winning the lottery they moan like any thing that life is Sxxx and the lottery is the only way out then after the conversation they get on with doing the same old boring routine, but at least you have took that step and admited to yourself whats wrong and expressed your feelings, this is the right direction to go, have you every heard the saying a druggie or alcoholic have to admit they have a problem before they can cure it, well you have admited it, all you need to do now is get a set of balls and follow your feelings not like the boring "want to win the lottery to make things better person".

You mentioned a massive statement in your first post about your cycle and that lies the answer, imagine a cup or something round and you on top of the rim, every day you do the same things time and time again just like walking around the rim or the circle you always end up where you started, and that is your life round and round, you need to break that circle and varie off from it then come back on to it, dont completly change your circle just come off it do something completly different something you never would of thought you would do, then do it and re-enter your circle carrying on with life, this will break your thinking give you new goals new things to aim for.

For an example im 34 and pretty much felt like you, we all do its life i woke up went to work came home from work depending what night went football or stayed in, that was my week every month every year until about 3 years ago when i looked back and thought what have i done in my life Jack Shxt not even been overseas.

Im an active adrenalin sort of person well i liked to think i am but done nothing about it, always wanted to do a parachute jump, never got time then i broke away from my circle after having same feeling like you and now have 24 jumps under my belt, part of an organisation and planning a trip to new zealand to do a base jump, best 3 years of my life, but i still could of been the old me if i dident take charge.

My point is my circle is not a circle no more, i took a different direction one day then the next day was not the same as yesterday and every day something is different new friends new hobbies, yes i still have same job and yes i still play football but now i look back over 3 years and im doing something that i never done for 31 years and take control and live life not wait for my 6 numbers to come up and boy every week has been different.

Now dont mean you have to take my line and do a parachute jump but hey if you did what an experiance it would be, before you read this you never imagined doing one but now you are going to do one, what a life changing decision and that is what i mean do something out of this world that you never thought you would do and do it, but unless you get some balls and get your head out of the skies you will always follow that circle and end up doing the same boring routine.

BREAK YOUR CYCLE

Well i know i went on a bit but hope it made you think.

Sianba
 

Derek S-H

Distinguished Member
There's been some really good and truthful responses here, so I'll try and keep this brief:

1. What would you do if you weren't afraid? (Are you afraid?)
2. We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.
3. In my opinion, you are focused too much on externals (job, possessions, partner) for your happiness and inner contentment.

I always say that a little bit of self-knowledge and self-awareness goes a long way. You need to examine your motivations and expectations of what being alive means to you, not just going through the motions of existence.

Really, life is one of endless possibilities and can change in an instant. But you need to build a relationship with yourself before anything else. And if you're feeling stuck, get off the treadmill in some way.

Good luck

Derek
 

The Dude

Distinguished Member
There's been some really good and truthful responses here, so I'll try and keep this brief:

1. What would you do if you weren't afraid? (Are you afraid?)
2. We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.
3. In my opinion, you are focused too much on externals (job, possessions, partner) for your happiness and inner contentment.

I always say that a little bit of self-knowledge and self-awareness goes a long way. You need to examine your motivations and expectations of what being alive means to you, not just going through the motions of existence.

Really, life is one of endless possibilities and can change in an instant. But you need to build a relationship with yourself before anything else. And if you're feeling stuck, get off the treadmill in some way.

Good luck

Derek


Excellent excellent post. :thumbsup:


Your last paragraph should be etched into the bottom of pint glasses. :clap:


If you're not already working as a counsellor, then you definitely should be!! ;)
 

la gran siete

Distinguished Member
There's been some really good and truthful responses here, so I'll try and keep this brief:

1. What would you do if you weren't afraid? (Are you afraid?)
2. We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.
3. In my opinion, you are focused too much on externals (job, possessions, partner) for your happiness and inner contentment.

I always say that a little bit of self-knowledge and self-awareness goes a long way. You need to examine your motivations and expectations of what being alive means to you, not just going through the motions of existence.

Really, life is one of endless possibilities and can change in an instant. But you need to build a relationship with yourself before anything else. And if you're feeling stuck, get off the treadmill in some way.

Good luck

Derek
Yes i like this post :thumbsup:I would like to add a link to it regarding a well know England rugby player who had no end of difficulties with injuries and with the attitude he carried. His name: Jonny Wilkinson

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/rugby_union/my_club/newcastle/7625749.stm
 

Derek S-H

Distinguished Member
Awww, thanks guys!
That Jonny Wilkinson link was very interesting, he's said similar things in an Observer Sport Monthly magazine interview too.
And I know where he's coming from: I'm a Badminton player and have had no end of injuries over the past nine years. But time out gives you a chance for re-evaluation of your identity, your role, what matters to you and why, and your self-esteem.
And to add to my original post: 29 is still so young and you have a full life ahead of you. I didn't have a clue who I was or what I wanted when I was that age, I only really started to learn about myself and understand myself in my 30's.
Again, I wish you well.
Derek
p.s. I also wanted to ask you whether you lived to work or worked to live, but I guess you may come to that point of enquiry in your own time.
 
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Derek S-H

Distinguished Member
Oh, sorry to sound like some sort of spiritually enlightened, self-help guru (which I'm not, I'm just trying to find my way in this life like everyone else), but I remember another mantra:

Change what you cannot accept and accept what you cannot change.

If you use this framework, then it may help you identify where your problems lie and how best to resolve them.

Good luck

Derek
 

Perceval

Banned
Oh, sorry to sound like some sort of spiritually enlightened, self-help guru (which I'm not, I'm just trying to find my way in this life like everyone else), but I remember another mantra:

Change what you cannot accept and accept what you cannot change.

If you use this framework, then it may help you identify where your problems lie and how best to resolve them.

Good luck

Derek

I think you mean
"grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can,"

It's called the serenity prayer;)
 

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