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Life A Mess At The Moment Any Advice Needed?

delboyuk2005uk

Active Member
I have been meaning to ask for help and advice for a few weeks now but have not had the energy to think or even type anything out.

Basically my girlfreind left with my daughter to go her mums nearly 13 weeks ago now. Since then my life has gone down hill. I was surviving up until about 9 weeks out of the 13. Anyway from week 8-9 I have been off work for depression

Last week was the worse in my life I hit rock bottom had a welfare visit from the police which ended up in my front door being kicked through as I hid on the roof.
Been sent to hospital to talk to people etc.

Since then I have started to pick myself up but I have a lot of stress on me at the moment. With regards to my girlfreind well ex and my daughter I have been seeing them all week.

Just when I think I am getting better and being able to work something just hits me and makes me feel low again. Anyway here is a bit advice I am after. The answer to all these is probabaly no but I am just making sure.

1) The front door, can I get this paid by the police? They said no of course. But to write into this address who will look into this further? Failing this can I get my house insurance to pay out for a new door?

2) Now the doc has signed me off work for 5 weeks from the 14/05/2010. To the 18/06/2010. I am only entitiled to SSP pay from work. IS there anything else I can claim I am in a mess with money with no income coming in at the moment. Will citizens advice help me or anybody else?

3) Can I have a mortgage break with my mortgage lender? How will this work and will this effect my credit rating or score in the future?

4) I have mortgage protection insurance but they have declined my application for the reasons below.

Accoriding to the information supplied. It would appear that you are presently unable to work due to a stress related conditon. Whilst I appreciate that your condition prevents you from working. Under the terms and conditions of your policy, no benefit is payable for any psychiatric illness or mental or nervous disorders, including stress reactions, unless you are under the continuing care of a consultant psychiatric specialist.

Now I have been to the docs about this they said they cant refer me to a specialist. But will write me a letter to say that the rules have changed about this. Thats all they can do some companies will accept this. But they still have the right to say no. So this is putting a lot more stress on me today.

5) I am off of course and on SSP pay. I rang me employers asking can I take holidays for the remaining time I am off work sick. They said no as I am signed off sick they have to do that. And any holidays I had booked in this time will be over ridden by this.

I think they said if I get signed back to work then they can do the holidays. But if I do get signed back to work then of course this will effect question number 4.

As if they do decide to pay out which is a big if I need to be off for 30 days off course.
 

danalfie

Active Member
Hello Delboy
Sorry to hear about all your problems in your life at the moment.
Would it be rude to ask why your family left?
It is diffucult to understand or give advice without the full story.
 

delboyuk2005uk

Active Member
The fear for me is having to go back to work cos I cant afford not to. And going to work when I am still depressed and not being able to cope with it all and just breaking down again.
 

Veni Vidi Vici

Well-known Member
I have been meaning to ask for help and advice for a few weeks now but have not had the energy to think or even type anything out.

Basically my girlfreind left with my daughter to go her mums nearly 13 weeks ago now. Since then my life has gone down hill. I was surviving up until about 9 weeks out of the 13. Anyway from week 8-9 I have been off work for depression

Last week was the worse in my life I hit rock bottom had a welfare visit from the police which ended up in my front door being kicked through as I hid on the roof.
Been sent to hospital to talk to people etc.

Since then I have started to pick myself up but I have a lot of stress on me at the moment. With regards to my girlfreind well ex and my daughter I have been seeing them all week.

Just when I think I am getting better and being able to work something just hits me and makes me feel low again. Anyway here is a bit advice I am after. The answer to all these is probabaly no but I am just making sure.

1) The front door, can I get this paid by the police? They said no of course. But to write into this address who will look into this further? Failing this can I get my house insurance to pay out for a new door?

2) Now the doc has signed me off work for 5 weeks from the 14/05/2010. To the 18/06/2010. I am only entitiled to SSP pay from work. IS there anything else I can claim I am in a mess with money with no income coming in at the moment. Will citizens advice help me or anybody else?

3) Can I have a mortgage break with my mortgage lender? How will this work and will this effect my credit rating or score in the future?

4) I have mortgage protection insurance but they have declined my application for the reasons below.

Accoriding to the information supplied. It would appear that you are presently unable to work due to a stress related conditon. Whilst I appreciate that your condition prevents you from working. Under the terms and conditions of your policy, no benefit is payable for any psychiatric illness or mental or nervous disorders, including stress reactions, unless you are under the continuing care of a consultant psychiatric specialist.

Now I have been to the docs about this they said they cant refer me to a specialist. But will write me a letter to say that the rules have changed about this. Thats all they can do some companies will accept this. But they still have the right to say no. So this is putting a lot more stress on me today.

5) I am off of course and on SSP pay. I rang me employers asking can I take holidays for the remaining time I am off work sick. They said no as I am signed off sick they have to do that. And any holidays I had booked in this time will be over ridden by this.

I think they said if I get signed back to work then they can do the holidays. But if I do get signed back to work then of course this will effect question number 4.

As if they do decide to pay out which is a big if I need to be off for 30 days off course.

Sorry to hear your having a rough time, hopefully things will get better, they normally do. Im certainly no expert but I will try and answer you questions if that helps....

1) I would have thought the police would have to pay for your door, if you were out they can't just kick your door in and expect you to pay for it. Plus the fact your had welfare issues suggests they were concerned about your mental state so to refuse to help you is adding to your strain. Speak to them again and explain your situation.

2) Try this website, not used it myself so I don't know for sure if it covers your question but it will tell you what benefits you are entitled to Benefits Search

3) You will need to speak to your bank about the mortgage, it depends on what bank and mortgage you have. They always advise you speak to them at the earliest opportunity if you are going to have problems paying your mortgage so that might be advisable.

4) Many of these insurance policys have clauses, maybe speak to your GP again and press the issue about how much stress you are under, a well worded letter from the doc may help.

5) As far as I know if your off sick then you cannot take leave in place of that?

It may be worth you speaking to CAB and asking your doc for a free helpline number for people who can help with you cope with stress. Good luck buddy !!


.
 
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unique

Moderator
Thanks I need to write a letter to the police explianing why they should pay for my door. What should I say I need some ideas.

can't you claim the door on your insurance? it's already been pointed out on the other thread that the police aren't liable
 

Kebabhead

Distinguished Member
can't you claim the door on your insurance? it's already been pointed out on the other thread that the police aren't liable

Claiming off your home insurance means losing any no claims discount you may have acquired

I remember some years ago where there was a police drugs raid on a neighbours house. Turns out the Police had been given false information but they paid for a new door
 

Veni Vidi Vici

Well-known Member
I dont know would I say to the insurance company that the police broke in or what?


I guess it depends on whether the police had a search warrant. I guess not in this instance. If they had a warrant and got the wrong address I guess they would be liable.

If I understand you they turned up as they had concerns about your welfare and by not answering the door they forced entry to check on you. If you are under major stress I would have thought (i could be wrong here) that this is a completely different scenario to them searching someones address for drugs or whatever. I guess it depends on how they got involved and were their actions justified?


.
 

virtual22

Well-known Member
In respect of the payment protection plan, that stinks to be honest. These policies are sold on the basis that if you can't work your mortgage is paid. That's one of the reasons there are loads of reviews and claims going on about these plans being mis-sold at the moment. I would have a look here LINK about this and see if you can claim.

With regard to benefits, maybe you can claim Disability Living Allowance?
 

unique

Moderator
I dont know would I say to the insurance company that the police broke in or what?

just tell them the truth. i presume you have an incident card from the police as evidence, the insurance company will probably want that to validate the claim
 

Duncan G

Well-known Member
I have been meaning to ask for help and advice for a few weeks now but have not had the energy to think or even type anything out.

2) Now the doc has signed me off work for 5 weeks from the 14/05/2010. To the 18/06/2010. I am only entitiled to SSP pay from work. IS there anything else I can claim I am in a mess with money with no income coming in at the moment. Will citizens advice help me or anybody else?

You may be entitle to claim for council tax rebate from the local Council so contact your Town Hall for details. As you are now the only adult in the house, make sure you claim the 25% council tax discount off your Council tax bill and then make a seperate claim for Council Tax rebate.

You get full Council tax rebate if your income is below the basic benefit level for a single adult over 25yrs old of £65.45 a week. For very £1 above this, you have to pay 20% towards your council tax.

Say you get £150 a week Sick pay. Take off £65.45, that leaves £84.55. Find 20%, that is £16.91. You will then have to pay the first £16.91 a week Council tax. Anything above £16.91 is paid as a rebate by the local council.

You get more help with Council tax the lower your income. So make sure to let the Council know about any changes to your sick pay as it will likely drop after a period of time. Your contract of employment or employer should tell you how many weeks full pay you get and when your pay will start to drop.

Make a claim for Housing Costs at your local Social Security office. You can be assessed for help 13 weeks after you claim Social Security. Your income may be too high in those 13 weeks as the amount for mortgage interest cannot be added to the calculation untill after 13 weeks. If your weekly mortgage interest figure plus the £65.45 weekly figure exceed your sick pay, then you get the difference. If you get the housing cost paid, you then get full Council Tax rebate.

If your sick pay runs out, you then claim Employment Support Allowance from Social Secuity.
 

oska

Well-known Member
Sorry to hear your troubles. With regards to your mortgage, some companies like Halifax etc offer mortgage holidays for up to 6 months. Depends on the lender. I took 3 months, they basically add it on to the amount and you end up paying a bit more a month when you start paying it back. You will end up paying more overall in the long run but in your current situation it may offer some temporary relief. It won't affect your credit rating. They will ask what it's for and base their decision whether to allow it or not. I basically rang and said it was for home improvements etc which they tend to go for.

Hope things get better soon.
 

themilkman23

Well-known Member
With regards to the door is there any reason why you hid on the roof and not answered the door? I appreciate you are under massive amounts of stress but if you haven't done anything wrong they would have come in, made sure you were ok and left.

With regards to home insurance the only way you would be covered under this would be as a goodwill gesture as it would need to come under the perils of your home insurance - theft, malicious or accidental damage, storm, escape of water etc... You can't class it as accidental as they meant to do it neither was it malicious.

Not the response you probably wanted but at least you know before you ring.
 

delboyuk2005uk

Active Member
I hid on the roof as I was scared. Basically came for me as my ex missus was worried about me and rang them. It was a bad night was totally broken down. Could of harmed myself that night or done something really silly.
 

jordandy512

Active Member
Personally I think the advice you should be getting is to move on with your life, stop finding excuses to prevent yourself from doing so. If you have a job, go to work and pay your bills, going on the sick and creating more money problems will only raise your stress levels. Your life is entering a new phase and the quicker you accept it and move on the easier it will be for you and everyone else involved. If you really think that someone on a forum or from the cab can sort all the answers for you then you are very mistaken. Time to man up and deal! And I may sound harsh but I have had my fair share of problems, dealt with them and got on with life.

Andy
 
D

Deleted member 51156

Guest
You need to go to work ,keep busy ,i split from my long term partner last yr ,and basically had to start again with my own property and life ,i lost tens of thousands of pounds,didn't see my daughter for months ,but i carried on regardless.

Yep it sucks and lifes difficult sometimes but you will benfit from going to work and concentrating on the postives in all of this,and you will soon wonder what all the fuss was about..
 

delboyuk2005uk

Active Member
You need to go to work ,keep busy ,i split from my long term partner last yr ,and basically had to start again with my own property and life ,i lost tens of thousands of pounds,didn't see my daughter for months ,but i carried on regardless.

Yep it sucks and lifes difficult sometimes but you will benfit from going to work and concentrating on the postives in all of this,and you will soon wonder what all the fuss was about..

Yeah gonna go back to work after sick note runs out.
 

delboyuk2005uk

Active Member
Personally I think the advice you should be getting is to move on with your life, stop finding excuses to prevent yourself from doing so. If you have a job, go to work and pay your bills, going on the sick and creating more money problems will only raise your stress levels. Your life is entering a new phase and the quicker you accept it and move on the easier it will be for you and everyone else involved. If you really think that someone on a forum or from the cab can sort all the answers for you then you are very mistaken. Time to man up and deal! And I may sound harsh but I have had my fair share of problems, dealt with them and got on with life.

Andy

Yes I know what you mean.
 

dazza74

Distinguished Member
May sound stupid this Dellboy but I wouldn't worry to much about Suicidal thoughts etc, for most including myself they just stay as thoughts thankfully. When it comes to depression I've come to the conclusion you have to see it as a form of addiction and try to take one day at a time. Keep on top of the housework at home, keep the place tidy where possible, that'll drag you down trust me even something trivial as the washing up piling up. If your feeling bad, get out of the house, go for a walk a bit of fresh air and exercise does wonders.

Sadly there's no answer to a lot of this, some people will go through a period of depression and recover back to their normal self, others are just stuck with it for life and have to manage it on a daily basis. Keep your chin up, a brighter day always arrives eventually :thumbsup:
 

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