Legal Advice – The Ex

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Mac User, Jan 2, 2012.

  1. Mac User

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    Hi, I know that this isn't a legal forum so I know that I'm going to have to go to a solicitors for advice and guidance but I thought I would ask the question as someone might have been in a similar situation and might be able to provide some help / info.

    I was with my ex (we was not married) for 15 year, we have two daughters 15 / 13 and back in Oct 2010 we split up. Since then, I've got married (to the person I should have meet all those years ago ☺) and she has also married.

    The concern that I have is would she be entitled to any future financial gains that my Wife and I are going to have. As an example, I've been contracting for a while and tomorrow, I'm going permanent. I've opt'd for the pension scheme and life insurance, would she have any legal right to any of this money..

    I've also done a bit of research over the past couple of days and you hear / see people talking about ‘Common-law wife / husband' but I've also read that legally, there is no such thing. What do you think ?

    I would also like to add that I pay maintenance to the ex (via direct debit) but have nothing legal and binding.. My concern is brought on knowing that my ex is driven by money and if she could screw me for more money she would. All I want to do is protect the my wife's and I financial future..
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2012
  2. Deadringers

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    I would think not as she has re-married and you were never married in the first place...

    that how it makes sense to me but do check with a lawyer first mate.

    Friend of mine when his wife left him after cheating on him was some how entitled to some of his pension and savings?!!?!??!?

    ***!
     
  3. Mac User

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    That's shocking :(

    Saying that, if she is entitled to any future money, surely I'll be entitled to any future money that she might have .. Just a thought
     
  4. Deadringers

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    Don't be so sure mate, you are male and therefore pretty much ****ed when it comes to a legal battle against any woman...IMO from things I have read and heard from friends.

    But to be honest as you were not married to your EX then I do not see why she should be entitled to any of your stuff for any more reason than to look after the kids.
     
  5. BT Bob

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    I got divorced 4 years ago after 22 years of marriage. My wife cheated on me - twice.

    The courts will always take a 50-50 split as a starting point and, unless there are extreme circumstances, will always assume 'no fault'.

    I work for a VERY large company (no, really) and have a long and very good pension. I lost 40% of my 'pot' as part of our settlement - I haggled down to that from the 50% start.

    Re the OPs circumstances: his original 'partner' would, I believe, have NO claim to any future earnings or gains he (and his wife) make. Presumably there's provision made for the children in any wills? If not, I would advise the OP to make a will ASAP. This isn't going to be straightforward in the circumstances - and for that I would definitely seek legal advice.

    I don't believe the concept of a "common-law" wife (or husband) has ANY legal standing at all, other than as the children's mother of course.
     
  6. lowmans100

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    I believe marriage is a legal contract hence the reparations agreed between the two parties when the contact is broken by either party (divorce) either mutually or if there is a dispute by a court.

    To prove a contract between a co-habiting couple is more difficult for the courts so unless either party can prove an agreement e.g. joint mortgage, business partnership, pension benefits signed over to the partner in the event of a death in service etc then the court will only be interested in the kids welfare which you are dealing with by mutual agreement outside of the court system. As you are paying by DD and she is accepting the payments (by not return them to you) then the contract between you regarding child maintenance payments is agreed.

    All my simplistic view of contracts (offer and acceptance of an offer).
     
  7. Elrond

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    If you are in England and not Scotland your finances are worked out at the time you do them, so even though you separated in Oct 2010, if you was doing the split NOW you would take them as of Jan 2012. So for example, assuming you have had pay rises since the split, you take your salary as of NOW and not Oct 2010!

    That's the case for a divorce and I think common law is now almost the same anyway!

    My solicitor said that he had a case where they separated 10 years ago but are now only just doing the divorce and the finances are being worked as they are now, not 10 years ago.

    You will need legal advice though as any split needs to be made 'full and final'.
     
  8. Steven

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    It appears the ex has lost her right to any further ancillary relief claim due to her remarriage (likewise yourself)

    Your children (who read like they are living with mum?) would be a separate matter and not sure on that one

    Disclaimer: Not to be taken as qualified legal advice. As you recognise, consult a solicitor. Notwithstanding the irony, take what you read on the internet with a pinch of salt, especially as most people speak from personal experience and fail to separate out the emotion
     
  9. Mac User

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    Guys, thank you for your responses. Yes we will definitely go and seek legal advise.

    I suppose a good thing is that we didn't have anything 'Joint'. No bank account, we didn't have a mortgage, nothing.. Everything was separate. Unfortunately for me, we had a couple of loans that where in my name and so have had to take them on myself.. But, there's only a year left..

    Another worry of ours is my wife has a mortgaged house and i'm about to go on to the mortgage .. again where concerned about what she could come and claim for regarding the equality in the house / etc.

    With regards to a 'will'. I have nothing in place and this is something that I also need to look at..
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2012
  10. Miss Chief

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    With regard to the will I would suggest you discuss it with your wife. It might be tempting to just specify the children but your wife is also important.
     
  11. Elrond

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    You would have to check because in your situation it's common law and not marriage but just because it's in your name doesn't mean it's not 'joint'.

    Every debt, no matter who's name it's in, in a marriage is 'joint'. Hence the 'need to check' comment.
     
  12. Mac User

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    Yes.. Going to see a solicitor this week
     
  13. nheather

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    When a friend of mine was divorce his pension was taken into account during the settlement.

    It worked like this - up to the point where the divorce was granted his wife had claim (50% in this case) to any pension that could be attributed to the investment years whilst they were together.

    In his case it was a fairly straight-forward calc because he was on a final salary pension so they could just say that she would get

    50% of (N Years x Final Salary)/66

    He didn't want this hanging over him, nor did he like the idea that any future career development (like if he worked hard to increase his salary) would benefit his ex. So they came to an arrangement to settlement to pay a lesser amount (based on current salary) immediately.

    Of course if he had chosen to stick to the initial pension agreement then the wife wouldn't get any of that element until he retired so she was quite pleased to take a lessor amount immediately.

    It was quite shocking. I heard stories about the ex getting half the house, but after pensions, savings etc. were taken into account, she walked away with practically all of the house.


    BUT I don't believe she has any claim to pension based on investments after the divorce.

    Cheers,

    Nigel
     
  14. accyuklad

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    i really cant see her getting anything to do with you when you never been married to your ex but i be shocked if they can
     
  15. signs

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    Has your ex ever mentioned the CSA "shudder"
     
  16. accyuklad

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    csa cant really do anything my sister her ex bf ****ed off and csa not done anything to get money from him and he doesnt see the kid anyway
     
  17. Mac User

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    No CSA hasn't been mentioned but as I said in a earlier post, I pay an agreed maintenance for the kids. To be honest, I pay more than I need to pay plus pay for the kids mobile phone bills / etc. But knowing my ex, she would love to screw more money out of me. All that my wife and I want to do is safeguard our financial future and not to fund the ex's future if you know what I mean.
     
  18. signs

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    :) the reason I asked was before you said you were sub contacting ? Self employed ?

    As soon as you go on the books it may well be a different story :) she /CSA can have full access to yours and your new wife's money :thumbsdow
     
  19. Mac User

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    This is what I need to clarify. Remember I was never married to her, there's no such things (in legal terms) as common-law wife and She and I have married. In light of this, I personally feel she can't claim for anything.. But like all things like this, I need to get proper legal advice..

    Thanks for your replies guys !!!
     
  20. signs

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    There is no such thing as common law wife , because the judge will treat you as being married .
     
  21. accyuklad

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    well i think she would of got csa involved long time ago
     
  22. Steven

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    The crucial point as per my previous post is that both parties have remarried since the divorce
     
  23. imightbewrong

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    I would have thought the more crucial point is that they were never married in the first place (and hence not remarried or indeed divorced).

    Without a child they would be no more legally bound than housemates.
     
  24. Member 79251

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    I have a feeling you could end up with nothing and your ex and current wife will have everything.

    This thread reminds me that I need to get the divorce started again.
     
  25. BT Bob

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    This is very similar to the situation I found myself in.

    With a final-salary scheme there is no actual pension "pot" as with a "normal"" scheme, so whoever administers the scheme will calculate a Cash Equivalent Transfer Value (CETV) based on the number of years of contributions and the amount paid in - up to the point of the divorce. If you'd been paying into the scheme for a number of years before you married, you could justifiably ask for those years to be excluded from the calculation as well. As I said previously (and as in your friend's case) 50% is the starting point - BUT keep in mind, the husband will be entitled to the same % of the wife's pension (if she has one) up to the same point. Any increase in your pension post-divorce is yours alone (same for her) - until you re-marry, then it starts again (but only from the time you re-marry).

    Going back to the OP - I still believe there is no such thing in legal terms as "common-law". I don't believe she has any claim at all on ANY of his earnings either from when they were together, nor since they split. And, once again, bear in mind - if she has a claim on you, you have a claim on her....

    The only complication to this is the children, but the OP seems to be more than paying his way in respect of them and seems happy to be doing so (well done, by the way - there's plenty who don't).

    I hope this is understandable - I've re-read it a few times and I know what I'm trying to say, just not sure I'm explaining it clearly!
     
  26. lowmans100

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  27. Mac User

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  28. Mac User

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    Thanks.. bit of a no brainier for me. But as you say, there's plenty of fathers that don't'..
     
  29. nvingo

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    Of course if you are already paying child maintenance by agreement. at the point the CSA makes an assessment (which may be less than the current arrangement), all payments under the current arrangement can cease and she would have no claim to that.
     
  30. Mac User

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    Whats interesting is that if I went through the CSA, I won't have to pay anything. This is due to the amount of time the kids are with my wife & I ... Just found this out..

    This is probably why she's never gone down the CSA route as she already knows this.. :mad:
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2012

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