Learning to relax and anger management


Distinguished Member
Sounds mad but I just cant seem to "switch off"

Have 2 days off every 7 and work shifts covering a 24hr period (although its changing to a better 6 on 4 off pattern soon)

Problem is I find it hard to switch off and relax. Get enough sleep but always feel tired and find myself getting wound up real quick by the slightest thing (which effects relationships and friends)

Try to chill by watching a film or playing a game but my attention span just seems to wain and I soon get bored (got no end of films and books that have been stopped half way)

Anyone got any sure fire ways of being able to relax and just chill as apposed to winding myself up and making self tired for no reason ?


Distinguished Member
I find the best way is to get out of the house - take the kids for a walk around the block or out on to the cricket pitch behind where we live. Nothing to think about, no phones ringing. :thumbsup:

Also, why not consider going to the gym / swimming etc to release some of that tension through exercise?


Well-known Member
Get enough sleep but always feel tired and find myself getting wound up real quick by the slightest thing (which effects relationships and friends)
Always feeling tired may well be the central theme to your problems, and the answer might lie in understanding the cause of that. You could perhaps give some thought to dietary and exercise matters, possibly in conjunction with advice from your GP to see if there is anything else amiss.
A few years ago I started reading up on Buddhism and attended a short course of meditation at our local arts centre.


It was excellent - many people attended all with similar worries like yourself.

It showed us how to relax through meditation - how to be able to 'count to ten', to take yourself into a quiet corner and practice your breathing and concentration levels, also how to 'meditate' yourself to sleep, shutting out the outside world. It really does work - you don't have to attend classes, you could just read up about it and give it a go.

Good luck :)


Standard Member
Meditation is great, and certainly helps.

If you want to try something a bit more 'modern' you can try using Binaural Beats. On my site I have an "Om" chant you can download. They are specifically designed to relax - and they certainly work. Try it out.

Om Chant Download

It works best if you can sit or lay somewhere quiet and use headphones.

If it works for you - try searching the net for other types of binaural beats to download...


Distinguished Member
Do you do any exercise?

Could be that you are wound up because you can't use any of your pent up energy.


Distinguished Member
Cheers so far guys

Just find it so hard to get motivated and actually DO something - that includes excercise - got myself a running machine about 4 months ago - can count on knuckles of one finger how often its been used

Just have no willpower

Seem to find I spend most of my free time

(a) thinking what to do .......
(b) being unable to make decision on what to do .....
(c) do nothing due to not being able to decide what to do .....
(d) get annoyed that I have done nothing and achived nowt !!!!!

Thats actually the first time I have worked out my problem like that and it seems (1) so simple and (2) so silly


Distinguished Member
You just sound lazy....you need a good kick up the ass :devil: thats all.

Lack of drive and ambition, is the reason you've sat there and done nothing.


Distinguished Member
ok, far as sleep is concerned, dont eat before you go to bed, less chance of falling asleep if the food contains certain amounts of sugars or instant energy stuff......

watching TV or even reading books is not always conducive to sleep, TV rarely exercises the mind and books will either be boring and you cant be bothered to finish or too exciting and will leave you feeling awake with adrenellin........try something that taxes the mind a little, perhaps a computer game based more around problems such as Pharaoh where you have to build up a city but use a mathematical approach due to layout of roads and housing and adding services etc.....but dont play it up till you want to go to bed, always stop an hour before to give your brain a chance to wind down....

long walks home are a good way to knacker yourself out, my new job is about 4 miles away and i walk home most nights, partly for some exercise to lose weight i gained whilst unempoloyed but also to help tire me out for sure.....

perhaps try writing as a way to get rid of the junk in your mind, whether poetry or novel style, or perhap something factual......just get on a keyboard and tap away...dont worry about it being amazing literature, most first drafts aren't.......however getting a poem out a night or whacking out 1,000 or so words on a novel will help drain your mind of thought and let you relax a little...

dont drink tea or coffee at all, switch to water, if you need a little energy at work then eat something with energy that isnt addictive chemical based like caffeine......

meditation can work, my way of meditating is to put on some music that i personally find soothing (some folks would find some of it non-soothing, but thats just it, its personal to you) and just relax in the chair, dont have the music up too loud, just a nice normal level.....you can have your eyes open or closed, if you try closing them but its an effort to keep them closed, then leave them open, then follow parts of the music, either different instruments or the bassline or rhythm etc.....best if possible to use longer tracks......oh one good album is KLF's Chill Out.....amazing piece of work that....might not work for you, but its got some natural recordings (ie general sounds like road trip noises etc) which are just brilliant for (as the title suggests) chilling out to :)

then there is the more conventional meditation such as focusing and breathing exercises etc......

just dont get stressed when one thing doesnt work, simply write it off and try another......

hope any of this helps :)

edit: btw just in case you think i've pulled these out of my head randomly I havnt. the problems I have with my back and joints leave me in a constant state of pain, some days mild, other days quite annoyingly.....so I find it hard to switch off myself, but these ways work very nicely......not always but most times....



It sounds to me that you may be suffering from anxiety and depression. You need to go and speak to your GP and discuss your problems.


Distinguished Member

It sounds to me that you may be suffering from anxiety and depression. You need to go and speak to your GP and discuss your problems.

Been there before and got the t shirt

mjn pretty much sums it up - rpblem is I would love to do "something" just never able to make myself do it


Distinguished Member
to be fair, most people suffer anxiety and depression, and whilst a chat with the GP can be useful, some just pop you on to pills that dont always solve the problem, just help you out chemically temporarily.......its worth chatting to a GP, but if the first thing they do is say try these pills, then go get a second opinion....no point going on the lithium if all you really need is to find a hobby that involves your mind a little more to use up some of the creativity that resides in a human.....quite often thats the cause of anxiety, a desire to do things but no idea of what to do.....unless there is a more pressing cause like financial trouble etc....in which case a GP's pills can be useful to help you through the period while you sort out the problems.....but if there are no problems like that going on, then to my mind i'd say try a few more techniques first.....

but im not a Dr so im just going on what i've done in my own life to get by....which may or may not be a good idea for me to suggest things :devil:


Distinguished Member
A good solution for anxiety is to spend time with family and make sure you have a routine you can stick to. Works well for me. Include lots of exercise as well!

Exercise releases endorphins which make you feel good.


Distinguished Member
i find the easiest way to wind down and chill out is to just sit and listen to some music. as for always feeling tired should maybe see a doc as it can some times be a sign of depression .


Distinguished Member
Cheers guys

Know there is no magic cure and guess part of it is I have been doing these shifts now for 7 years and just not as young as used to

Had 4 hours kip this morning and will go back to bad for another 4 hours this evening. Nigh Shifts are the hardest to get things done on but force myself to get up around midday so can have good meal and at least get something (even if just watch a movie) done

Will finish work at 7 Monday morning and back 7 Wed Morning - its not great but only 6 weeks til pattern changes

I am determined to try and make self "better"

New pattern is 6 on 4 off and I have enough leave left that for next few months will often work 4 on 6 off with 15 weekends off between 1st Nov and end of March next year. Guess this should make a BIG difference as thats more weekends off in 5 months than I have had in a year (currently one weekend off a month)

Determined that going to meet up with mates for night out at least once a month (not been on lash since 2nd June) and spend more time "doing" things

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