Kids and swearing - do you allow it?

brad123

Well-known Member
At what age do you give your kids freedom to swear at home? We all know we swear and we all know kids swear like a trooper, well boys do when with their mates. However when at home what do you expect or let slide swearing wise. Reason I ask is we have a 16 year old who lives and breathes on his Xbox and we have told him a few times about swearing when on it and playing with his mates live online.

He usually has his door open and doesn't tried to hide it sometimes screaming swear words at his mates that can be heard by everyone in the home. I know boys swear with their mates but how much freedom and tolerance should you give to a 16 year old boy?
 

cottonpickers

Active Member
Sounds to me like you have the balance right. I’d continue to call him out on unnecessary swearing etc. Not in earshot of others. General dislike etc.
 

rustybin

Distinguished Member
Not much wrong with swearing, it's all about context and appropriateness of swearing. There's a time and a place.
 

rustybin

Distinguished Member
That's what we say tbh and at home loud with doors open for all to see is not it.
Completely agree. We used to swear like dockers as kids but would rightly get a telling off if overheard by adults.

Low level swearing was acceptable from the age of 14 or so at home.
 

wiz

Distinguished Member

Flynch191

Active Member
I know hes probably really getting into the games emotionally while playing and I know some games can be frustrating.. but if it’s constant I’d have to have words with him. If gaming makes you that angry that your swearing that loudly I’d say you either turn the volume down some so we can’t all hear you swearing or you stop playing...
He’s old enough to understand. I had a similar thing with my boy... he now tries to keep it cool but then we don’t swear much at home anyway.
good luck.
 

Sloppy Bob

Distinguished Member
You have to supply him with a roof over his head.

Does that have to include electricity to his room? :p

You've mentioned already the amount of time he spends on his Xbox, perhaps he needs to be taken away from it a bit and find some other interests.

It must be hard imposing rules on a stepson, is his father involved at all and what kind of footing are you on with them?
It always helps if all parents are on board with house rules, curfews etc if possible.
 
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koeman

Well-known Member
16 ain't really a kid these days.

I was up to worse than swearing at that age. I'd be in the boozer Friday and Saturday when I was 16
 

MrNismo

Active Member
I'm guilty for cursing too much.
Bang my toe.......#"&"[email protected]##

Miss the green traffic lights in a queue of cars.....#*&**!! :mad:

But to this day I don't swear Infront of my parents.

I intend to have the same rule when my kids hit teens AND adulthood:p
 

The Dreamer

Distinguished Member
I’ve only come to this thread as it’s still showing in GC and that it’s been moved here.

I swear occasionally, usually when doing DIY and something goes awry - it’s an expletive, and an outlet of frustration.

I never swear in conversation - unless telling a story that involves a swear word, and then usually replace the word with something like ‘fudge’, or whatever. Actually, that’s not quite true, as occasionally at work I might, to my colleagues, say something like ‘fudgety fudge fudge fudge’ (replace as appropriate), if something outside of our control has just delayed us and we can’t do anything about it - but it’s said in a jocular banter sort of way, simply to express frustration in a humorous manner.

I guess I’m a bit ‘James May’, in that I’ll say things like ‘cock’, when of course we all know I mean something much stronger!

I was once told by a teacher that we swear when we’ve reached the limit of our conversational ability, and that it’s the product of a limited education. That if we all learned, and embraced the English language to it‘s fullest, we would have no need to swear.

In day to day conversation, I’d have to say I agree (to an extent), we simply can’t be bothered, or lack the vocabulary, to give long descriptions of something, or someone - it’s simply easier to call them/it ’a fudgeing prick!’ than go into the why‘s and wherefore’s of what has irritated you. So swearing can be a product of a limited education, although I’d say for the most part, it’s a product of being lazy - a shorthand if you will, when we simply can’t be arsed to explain exactly what we mean, and everyone will get the ‘spirit’ of what we mean if not the real nitty gritty.

And then there are peer groups. In some groups it’s almost expected that swearing dropped casually into conversation should be the norm; indeed, you can almost feel pressured to speak in the same way, just to gain acceptance from your peers. Frankly though, it’s a poor decision to do this, as everyone sinks to the lowest common denominator, and it becomes self perpetuating. If you don’t swear, you can be seen as ‘precious’, or trying to put yourself above others - a totally perverse situation, but one that certainly exists in many places.

My mum was a headmistress, and there was no way I was allowed to swear in the house. To this day I would never swear in front of my mum, and I’m in my mid fifties now!

All the way back to the OP, it really depends. I wouldn’t expect my lad to swear in front of me, and I’d have words if he did. Doing DIY is different, if he swore as an expletive, skinning his knuckles when a spanner slips, I reckon that’s fair game.

In casual conversation, or online, or wherever, absolutely not, not in my house! The same rules apply to anyone in the house, I wouldn’t have friends over and expect them to swear in front of me, or his friends, or tradesmen, or whoever. He’s 18 now, and an adult in his own right, he can make his own decisions, but he know the consequences of breaking the ‘house rules’.

Personally, I’d be having words with the lad, (they don’t have to be stern, unless he pushes back) he’s living under your roof, and should be abiding by the rules of the house, whatever they may be. Of course it’s easier to let it slide, giving guidance to others as they approach adulthood isn‘t always easy, as they are forming their own opinions (and of course know everything at this sort of age)!

Everyone is different, but it wouldn‘t, and doesn’t, happen here.
 

Miss Mandy

Moderator
I was taught the same message as The Dreamer in that swearing is a result of our education and limited knowledge of the English language. If we were caught swearing at school we'd get a ruler across the knuckles.
I would never swear at home either, my parents just would not allow it. Even now at 39 I'd still get told off by my parents if I swore in front of them. I really don't swear much though so it doesn't happen often.
I generally don't feel there's much need for anyone to swear anyway and I'd definitely not be letting a teenager do it in the house. Out with mates is one thing, but at home it's different.
 

psikey

Distinguished Member
At what age do you give your kids freedom to swear at home? We all know we swear and we all know kids swear like a trooper, well boys do when with their mates. However when at home what do you expect or let slide swearing wise. Reason I ask is we have a 16 year old who lives and breathes on his Xbox and we have told him a few times about swearing when on it and playing with his mates live online.

He usually has his door open and doesn't tried to hide it sometimes screaming swear words at his mates that can be heard by everyone in the home. I know boys swear with their mates but how much freedom and tolerance should you give to a 16 year old boy?
Never. We never sware at home ourselves either. My mum and dad never swore or let me and my sister swear either.

Its totally unnecessary.
 

brad123

Well-known Member
Well after 3 warnings this week including one on Monday night where we read him the last rights last night I went to get a drink and walking past his room heard him swear loud on his xbox. I gave him benefit of the doubt and thought might be a slip but on the way back nope 3 more loud effs and eff you's so hes' now banned from his Xbox. Hate them things, they turn some kids into anti social ill equipped for the real world zombie thugs.

I was a rugby playing, beer drinking 16/17 year old and I would never swear like that at home and in front of family etc. So foots been well and truly put down. No Xbox for 3 days and if he keeps it up it will be coming out of his room. All his mates swear he said To which we replied well different families and different homes have different rules and expectations, we won't accept that in this home it shows disrespect to us and family and especially as we warned him 5 times before banning him.

We aren't a strict house at all but besides the fact all the house has to listen to him shouting on his xbox and screaming on every game to which he;s been warned about, swearing is too much.
 

psikey

Distinguished Member
Well after 3 warnings this week including one on Monday night where we read him the last rights last night I went to get a drink and walking past his room heard him swear loud on his xbox. I gave him benefit of the doubt and thought might be a slip but on the way back nope 3 more loud effs and eff you's so hes' now banned from his Xbox. Hate them things, they turn some kids into anti social ill equipped for the real world zombie thugs.

I was a rugby playing, beer drinking 16/17 year old and I would never swear like that at home and in front of family etc. So foots been well and truly put down. No Xbox for 3 days and if he keeps it up it will be coming out of his room. All his mates swear he said To which we replied well different families and different homes have different rules and expectations, we won't accept that in this home it shows disrespect to us and family and especially as we warned him 5 times before banning him.

We aren't a strict house at all but besides the fact all the house has to listen to him shouting on his xbox and screaming on every game to which he;s been warned about, swearing is too much.
Remind him gaming is meant to be fun. Thats what I said to my lad. If its getting him aggressive, angry and abusive whats the point of doing it!

My mate had to take console off his 14yo son as he was getting addicted. He's been a far more sociable friendly lad since (now 18) and now says his dad did the right thing.
 

rustybin

Distinguished Member
Remind him gaming is meant to be fun. Thats what I said to my lad. If its getting him agressibe, angry and abusive whats the point of doing it!
Agree with this. The second my kids start showing signs of anger, the ipad / Wii goes off.
 

brad123

Well-known Member
It's not anger as in mad but like "ah effing hell who passed me that ball" etc. Personally I'd take it off him for good as it's doing him no favours socially and personality wise. However his friends are on it, some of his friends are allowed on it until 2am etc. It's not healthy at all, 14 hours a day on the Xbox.
 

Greg Hook

Moderator & Reviewer
Swearing is interesting, I still don't swear in front of my parents and they are pretty ancient now. Well not the F or C words, but low level stuff I do.

My sister on the other hands swears like a trooper! :rotfl:
 

dr no

Moderator
Swearing is a habit just like any other.
You can decide to let them pick it up or dissuade them from keeping it.
For some it’s a sign of their frustration, their inability to communicate freely.

I don’t allow any cursing of any kind in the home from my children.
Nor would I tolerate it of them as adults.
 

Kasgrant

Novice Member
I'm not sure what sort of age the swearing starts at , but so far none from my 4 year old. I think they pick up some naughty words when they start school as there's such a mix of kids from different social backgrounds.
 

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