Jeremy Clarkson's views on expats. Does he have a point?

la gran siete

Distinguished Member
The hell of being a British expatJeremy Clarkson
Alarming news. It seems that all the world’s clever people have gone missing. We know where the stupid people are. They’re in the White House, or they’re on Big Brother, or they’re singing for Simon Cowell’s supper. But while we are absorbed with this lot, the rocket scientists and astrophysicists have disappeared.

Seriously. America claims that the huge influx of Mexicans is in no way compensation for George Clooney, who has moved to Italy, and Madonna, who now lives in Wiltshire. And that it has a net brain drain.

It’s the same story in Egypt, Iran, India, Russia, New Zealand and France. Germany claims to be in the middle of the biggest brain drain since the 1940s. Everywhere you look, governments are saying that while they’re up to here with housekeepers and swimming pool attendants, their graduates are all moving out.

So where are they going? Could it be, I wondered, that all the Tefalheads have come to Britain? Certainly, we seem to have so many scientists that there aren’t enough serious projects to go round. On Thursday, for instance, two Manchester doctors announced that they’d been studying dinosaurs and found that the T-rex had a slower top speed than Frank Lampard. Wow.

Further evidence came to light on Thursday with the GCSE results. Every 16-year-old in the land, except those who have recently been shot, had scored at least 415% in advanced Latin and applied maths.

Yes! I thought. Britain is pinching all the Russian billionaires, the American singers, the French chefs, the Egyptian doctors and the German businessmen. We may not be the happiest nation on Earth or the richest. But we are the brainiest.

And then came the latest migration figures, which showed that while Britain received 5.4 billion west African pickpockets last year, we lost what the Daily Mail calls 196,000 British citizens. White, middle-class families who have moved abroad.

These figures would lead us to suggest that like everywhere else, Britain is suffering from a brain drain. That all our well educated, well spoken young professionals are being replaced by Borat.

Unfortunately, this argument fails to hold any water when you look at where these middle-class people are moving to. Australia is the No 1 choice, apparently, with 1.3m British emigrants living there.

Fine, but in the whole of human history, nobody has ever woken up and thought, “I know. I have a wonderful family, lots of money, a great job and an active social life. I shall therefore move to Australia.”

Australia is where you go when you’ve made a mess of everything. That’s why the 1.3m Brits who live there are known as whingeing Poms. Because they’re all failures.

Another popular destination is Spain, which is home these days to 761,000 Brits. Are they all brain surgeons? Inventors? Did Sir Christopher Cockerell invent the hovercraft and then move to Puerto Banus? No. Spain is where you go when you’ve sold your taxi.

What about America then? We imagine that the Brits living there are successful and bright, like David Beckham and, er, Kelly Brook. But mostly, I suspect the people who move from Britain to the States do so because they are interested in guns and murdering.

Twice I’ve bumped into expats while in America and both times they were wandering around in woods carrying preposterously large guns and wearing combat fatigues. One was chewing tobacco which, when combined with his broad Birmingham accent, made him appear to be the stupidest person in the world. He probably was.

The fact is, I’m afraid, that anyone who emigrates from Britain, no matter where they end up, is a bit of a dimwit.

I mean, why leave? Because you have no friends? Well, what makes you think it’ll be easier to make friends somewhere else. Because of the weather? Oh, come on. Sunny days work when you’re on holiday but when you’re stuck in an office, you need it to be 57F and drizzling.

Maybe you’re fed up with the crime in Britain. What, and you think California has fewer murders than Bourton-on-the-Water? You think there are no syringes on Bondi Beach?

Public services? Puh-lease. Even if you can convey to the chap on the other end of the phone that you are up to your knees in raw sewage, he will still take two weeks to dispatch some walnut-faced thief who’ll make everything worse and charge you £800.

Maybe you fancy a tax haven? Great, you save a few quid but you end up with a bunch of other ingrates in a cesspit like Monaco. Seriously, would you rob a bank knowing you could keep the money but that you’d have to do some time? No. Well, don’t be a tax exile, then, because it’s the same thing.

Honestly, every single expat I’ve ever met is the same; hunched at a bar in a stupid shirt, at 10 in the morning, desperately trying to convince themselves that they are not alcoholics, that the barman really is their friend and that it’s only 11 hours till bedtime.

And then, when they clock your accent, they launch into a slurred tirade about Gordon Brown and the British weather and how their prawns are the size of Volkswagens. And then they ask if by any chance you’ve got a copy of The Week.

Anyone who fails to realise that this is how they’ll end up is monumentally idiotic and we’re better off without them. So go and we’ll see you back here when you need some brain surgery.
 

Ian J

Banned
Perhaps they all emigrated to get away from Jeremy Clarkson as not everyone finds him as clever and amusing as he obviously thinks he is.
 
La gran - I do enjoy Jeremy Clarkson's rants, he does have very good points.

I think that a lot of British are getting fed up of walking into their local supermarket and hearing nothing but Russian or Polish being spoken and living alongside non-workers, British or not, whom claim benefits from our 'too easy' government while we have to work to earn our money.

They choose to move abroad to a community where everyone is white and speaks their own language and of course, do nothing but sit at the bar drinking cheap lager all day :D

We have often discussed moving abroad, as our country is constantly changing and not for the better, but we would only be doing what others do here and moving to a country where they speak another language and of course where there wouldn't be a single British lager lout in sight.

We would move to a remote, sunny place, with no 'rat race' and a 'back to basics' way of life and bring up our children in a more healthy, relaxed environment.

You always think the grass is greener on the other side, but at least in other countries, whatever their social problems, the sun does shine a heck of lot more than here and that would make me smile :)
 

sore napper

Well-known Member
I think Clarkson is a bit of a plunker. I don't mind people voicing their opinion, but he always seems to be voicing an opinion. Just because you have an opinion, doesn't mean that you're right.
 

wombar

Active Member
Ah, a classic Clarkson rant :thumbsup: I like a lot of the stuff he writes about as a whole, but this is coming from a man who lives in a mansion with any number of £500,000 cars parked on the drive. If we could all have his kind of life style I'm sure no one would leave the country.

However, I'm considering emmigration before I'm 30 (I'm just about to turn 27) because at this point in time the UK can't offer me what I want from life. At the top of my list is a nice house in a decent area, which, being single at the moment isn't going to happen. Terraced ex-council houses are going for £280,000 down the street from me and that means I need to be earning £80k a year to afford that or £40K if I buy with someone else. Personally I don't want to be locked into a 25 year committment for a house I don't really like in the first place. Property prices in Canada, New Zealand and Australia mean that I should be able to afford something half decent by the time I get there, I don't want a mansion, just a nice house.

Crime isn't as bad as the press make out, but there is a definite rise in casual violence by the younger generations (i.e. 8 -19 year olds) because they've grown up believing they're untouchable. The govt needs to step in and give the general public the right to give these little toe rags a good slap in the chops when they need it. There are also an awful lot of spongers in the UK who know how to play the system whilst other genunine claimants are turned away at the door.

I run my own web based businesses that I can take pretty much anywhere in the world (and employ some staff should a VISA require it), the UK isn't an awful place to live but for me, it's not got what I want. I want a nice house, some actual sun (because working from home lets me go out during the day and work at night if I choose) and a culture whose primary obsession on the weekend isn't going out and getting bladdered on 10 pints of Stella every Satuday night.

For some people the UK is great, for others it isn't.
 

Steven

Senior Moderator
Not sure about some of those comments but I think he has made some valid points there

I will however refrain from pointing them out, for fear of a public lynching :rotfl:
 

williemaykit

Active Member
Why does he pick on tax exiles when he lives on the Isle of Man?:rotfl:

I emigrated from Australia to the UK. I enjoy living in the UK for the people (yes, there is still alot of great people to enjoy life with), the weather doesn't bother (prefer the rain to 46 degree heat combined with 90% humidity where your brain feels like its about to shut down), and Europe is on your doorstep where you can enjoy a different culture each weekend if you wanted to (or afford to).

Yes property prices are better overseas but they don't come without their hinderances. E.g. Tax rates in Australia are higher (up to 49% for salaries at £20000), the government is subsidsing less and less these days (similar to what you have in America), and with a protectionist policy for local produce, means that food is getting more expensive as it has to travel by road & rail.

Am I suggesting that people don't move to countries like Australia? Not at all. Australia is a great place to live with lots of fresh food and the great outdoors. I do, however, suggest, moving over there for 3-4 weeks first before going through the immigration process (which can cost up to £1800 for a family) to live the lifestyle in the suburbs and do your sums.
 

Pat_C

Well-known Member
La gran - I do enjoy Jeremy Clarkson's rants, he does have very good points.
Me too, and I have a number of his books. He is one of few people that has managed to combine a strong sense of perception with witty sarcasm, and refused to be constrained by any sense of political correctness.

I saw him presenting at a Top Gear event at Silverstone once and he was very sharp with the ad-lib banter there too.
 

Pat_C

Well-known Member
Why does he pick on tax exiles when he lives on the Isle of Man?:rotfl:
I believe he lives mainly in Oxfordshire, and has made many references to it on Top Gear and elsewhere. He may have a place on the IoM too, probably to take advantage of their rather relaxed policy on speed limits.
 

wombar

Active Member
I do, however, suggest, moving over there for 3-4 weeks first before going through the immigration process (which can cost up to £1800 for a family) to live the lifestyle in the suburbs and do your sums.

Absolutely, I'm going to do a working holiday for a month each in Canada, Oz and NZ when the time comes. All I need is an internet connection and a laptop :smashin:

My brother is going backpacking to NZ next year with a view to staying. If he puts down roots there, I'll have somewhere to stay for a month to see if I like it. I don't know when all is said and done whether I'll come home and realise the grass is in fact brown on the other side. For some people it works, others it doesn't, whatever happens I'll most certainly be doing my homework well in advance of any decision making.
 

overkill

Distinguished Member
La gran - I do enjoy Jeremy Clarkson's rants, he does have very good points.

I think that a lot of British are getting fed up of walking into their local supermarket and hearing nothing but Russian or Polish being spoken and living alongside non-workers, British or not, whom claim benefits from our 'too easy' government while we have to work to earn our money.

They choose to move abroad to a community where everyone is white and speaks their own language and of course, do nothing but sit at the bar drinking cheap lager all day :D

We have often discussed moving abroad, as our country is constantly changing and not for the better, but we would only be doing what others do here and moving to a country where they speak another language and of course where there wouldn't be a single British lager lout in sight.

We would move to a remote, sunny place, with no 'rat race' and a 'back to basics' way of life and bring up our children in a more healthy, relaxed environment.

You always think the grass is greener on the other side, but at least in other countries, whatever their social problems, the sun does shine a heck of lot more than here and that would make me smile :)
Err right MrsSigns. :D

Walking into a Supermarket where everyone speaks a foreign accent? Funny, I do keep trying but I haven't come across one yet. However, I have been to France and Germany, and everyone at their supermarkets was Greek, Turkish, Albanian etc, not a Frenchman or German in sight......... ;)

Easy Benefits? Well, my sister lives on benefits, and I wouldn't swop her 'easy money' and 'million dollar lifestyle' with mine for all the tea in China. Not to mention that getting Benefits, as another relative has recently found is not as easy as the Daily Mail makes out...........

Our country isn't changing for the better? Well, people have been saying that since the 1780's, but that doesn't mean that it's true for all men, all of the time.

I too would love to find a remote unspoilt place, but I would have a very hard time finding one. Even the remote rain forest is under threat now. As some of my students have recently found after visiting quiet 'remote islands' the Yanks have usually found it first. After which of course the words 'quiet' and 'unspoilt' are history. :D

Yes street crime is bad at the moment, and I wonder why? 'Weak govt' we all scream on here. Ah huh. Well, Britain has gone through periods of appalling crime in the past, and the govts that were in power at the time would never been described as 'weak'. More like 'brutal'. At times, Govt can only tinker at the edges, it's up to society to sort itself out. What's the point in banging up the kids when the parents are just as bad? We can't stick them all in prison? Unless we want the country to be paying out a small (massive) fortune and turn it into some sort of 'escape from New york' type scenario.

I agree with LGS's 'Clarkson quotes'. Not everyone can be having a 'brain drain', and no the grass isn't greener on the other side. No matter how much I try and convince myself it is...............

Unusual for me to agree with Clarkson, the guys a pilchard! :rolleyes:

Oh, and I agree LFC, it's become dangerous not to go with the flow on here. ;)
 
Err right MrsSigns. :D

Walking into a Supermarket where everyone speaks a foreign accent? Funny, I do keep trying but I haven't come across one yet. However, I have been to France and Germany, and everyone at their supermarkets was Greek, Turkish, Albanian etc, not a Frenchman or German in sight......... ;)

Well slight exaggeration perhaps, but our local Asda is a nightmare - that's France and Germany struck off my list too then :D

Easy Benefits? Well, my sister lives on benefits, and I wouldn't swap her 'easy money' and 'million dollar lifestyle' with mine for all the tea in China. Not to mention that getting Benefits, as another relative has recently found is not as easy as the Daily Mail makes out...........

My sister is also on benefits, being a single mother and she always appears to have more money than me, free loans, child care allowances, council tax benefits etc. etc. and I suppose I can't comment on 'getting benefits' as I have never been unfortunate to have been in any situation to have to claim any, but they do advertise the fact that more and more people are living solely off the government's 'handouts' including many many thousands of immigrants to this country. Robin Hood culture IMO.

I too would love to find a remote unspoilt place, but I would have a very hard time finding one. Even the remote rain forest is under threat now. As some of my students have recently found after visiting quiet 'remote islands' the Yanks have usually found it first. After which of course the words 'quiet' and 'unspoilt' are history.

You know what I mean - some country retreat in the sunshine would be idyllic, with a slower lifestyle and more relaxed outlook on life - maybe this could possibly be found in certain areas in the South of this country, I don't know. But as said, more and more of us Brits are resorting to living abroad in search of a better lifestyle.

Oh, and I agree LFC, it's become dangerous not to go with the flow on here. ;)

I agree also, but we are all entitled to our own opinions and we should all respect the opinions of others :)


...as long as they're not too idiotic :D
 

damo_in_sale

Well-known Member
I believe he lives mainly in Oxfordshire, and has made many references to it on Top Gear and elsewhere. He may have a place on the IoM too, probably to take advantage of their rather relaxed policy on speed limits.

I think his wife is from the IoM.
 

pave

Banned
I like this country,worked abroad in a few places,always looked forward to coming back,not much has changed over the years in my view,still pay taxes,still get bills,always have enough money to buy crap,get drunk...e.t.c......:rolleyes:..............Always have been migrants,just in the past most of them spoke english,stiil,helps keep the cost of living down...................Be nice if all the real spongers and intolerent people where shipped out...................say...The isle of Wight...they would like the name........:devil:
 

Member 55145

Distinguished Member
Me too, and I have a number of his books. He is one of few people that has managed to combine a strong sense of perception with witty sarcasm, and refused to be constrained by any sense of political correctness.

I saw him presenting at a Top Gear event at Silverstone once and he was very sharp with the ad-lib banter there too.

couldnt agree more, esspecially about the PC part, and i think that is the true brit shineing in him.

ive considered emigrating and im only 24, but unfortunately i love my job and cant move from it. so looks like im stuck around all the chavs and people who cant speak English (including the former :smashin: )
 

krish

Distinguished Member
Is JC turning into a tree-hugging pinko lefty Grauniad reading salad muncher?

One of the rare ocassions I've completely agreed with him ;)

Btw he certainly has a property on the Isle of Wight, if any of you recall that epiodes of G Ramsay's The F Word, where Ramsay visited and cooked for them
- though he lives in Chipping Norton, Oxon
 

overkill

Distinguished Member
Something about pots and kettles springs to mind here :D
Oh, I don't mind a debate Ian, and I totally agree with you that I can jump in with the best of them. :D

However, it's the really nasty, sometimes violent digs at people (which I don't do) when they dare to suggest any answer beyond 'hang and flog', and worse, as recently, when they put forward hard facts to support their argument, (which seemed to only rile the 'birch em' brigade even more) and just get abuse rather than reasoned responses, that I get fed up with it. And why I don't bother coming in here so much anymore.
 

Steven

Senior Moderator
There is a "Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister" facebook group as well
 

Member 55145

Distinguished Member
There is a "Jeremy Clarkson for Prime Minister" facebook group as well

now thats interesting, a worthwhile reason to sign up after all those junk mails from them
 

Pat_C

Well-known Member
Is JC turning into a tree-hugging pinko lefty Grauniad reading salad muncher?
You mean one of the people he refers to as being "of the sandal persuasion"? :)
 

krish

Distinguished Member

Pat_C

Well-known Member
Hehe perhaps not that weird, though JC does sound more 'chattering class' than 'Richard Littlejohn/Kelvin MacKenzie' with that column.
He is certainly more light hearted about most matters. But even Richard Littlejohn can be quite witty in presenting his slightly right-wing views. I recently heard him on LBC talking about the Police, saying that we should not be concerned about stakeholders, but steak knife holders.
 

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