It's my birthday & I'll do what I want to, can't I?

BB3Lions

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Big 40 tomorrow & another day older another day wiser.

My wife had been pushing for a long weekend away in Italy, I persuaded her No. Then she wanted friends family around, got that cut, now it's just a cake & family.......

I have never celebrated birthdays or important events, 16,18,21,25,30, stag do, all these so called important days, they've never fazed me or made me want to celebrate.

I.dislike the false atmosphere, family being all lovely when you don't speak all 364 other days, the waste of expense & the center of attention.

It got me thinking, am I being miserable, a scrooge etc or are there other people out there who just do not celebrate these sort of events?
 
...am I being miserable...
Yes, but you're allowed to be now you've entered grumpy old man territory. ;)

It's quite difficult, really. I'm a bit like you: hate what I call a 'fuss', but actually only when it applies to me. I'm perfectly happy to arrange and take part in other people's celebrations.

Another way of looking at it is that it's a major compliment. If people want to celebrate, then surely that's a nice thing? The least you could do is go along, perhaps low-key if you really must, and avoid not looking too churlish. It seems to me that a few days in Italy, just the two of you, would be ideal.
 
A few days would be nice, but I'm in the startup phase of a new business & tbh it would be a bad decision to just drop everything for albeit a few days. But a few days is 8 meetings I will miss, not inc the 1k lost I could use in marketing, or towards the new car.


A bottle of JD vintage spending the evening with my wife, instead of working till the early hour is sufficient.
 
I.dislike the false atmosphere, family being all lovely when you don't speak all 364 other days, the waste of expense & the center of attention.

It got me thinking, am I being miserable, a scrooge etc or are there other people out there who just do not celebrate these sort of events?

I'm completely with you on this sort of stuff, I think we must have been separated at birth.

:laugh:
 
It's quite difficult, really. I'm a bit like you: hate what I call a 'fuss', but actually only when it applies to me. I'm perfectly happy to arrange and take part in other people's celebrations.

I'm exactly the same. Love other people's events, not so keen on mine. My wife arranged a secret meal for my 30th which, in fairness I did enjoy. But the thought of much else makes me cringe. I was even feeling a little sheepish about our wedding, asking people to come celebrate "us".


Birthdays seem little cause for celebration to me, in that it should be saved for achievement or life changing events. A new baby, a new job/promotion, some sort of vindication for your efforts. Managing not to die for another year hardly stands out (in modern times) as a feather in the cap; unless you have some expectedly terminal illness.

I made my wife promise no present this year, I dont need much so any gift would be superfluous. I did get this card however, signed from her and our daughter :eek: (see attached, has a naughty word on it so proceed with care :) ).
 
In complete agreement with you. I don't like any fuss. I tried to ensure my 40th passed without incident. Don't even like my mrs trying to buy me presents. Bless her she always tries too hard! I don't do the relatives thing either although my in laws did pop round this year with a rather good present which was very nice. I quite like seeing what the kids come out with on a birthday and a hug from them is all I need. Occasionally I get more than a hug from the Mrs!
 
I felt a bit the same last year when we got married.

We had a HUGE guest list of friends and family at the start and then when reality kicked in and it was going to be £80 a head plus £22.50 per head for the night do on top we soon whittled the list down to 'true' friends and family that we speak to and see regularly.

Even though the four zero is 13 years away for me, for my wife and I's special occasions, we've already decided we'd rather spend the money on a nice meal or holiday instead so as to still celebrate but I can fully see where you're coming from :arty:
 
My big 40 is next year but my wife and i are already planning to go away to a F1 Grand Prix event in europe:smashin:
I hate being the centre of attention:blush:
martin
 
Big 40 tomorrow & another day older another day wiser.

My wife had been pushing for a long weekend away in Italy, I persuaded her No. Then she wanted friends family around, got that cut, now it's just a cake & family.......

I have never celebrated birthdays or important events, 16,18,21,25,30, stag do, all these so called important days, they've never fazed me or made me want to celebrate.

I.dislike the false atmosphere, family being all lovely when you don't speak all 364 other days, the waste of expense & the center of attention.

It got me thinking, am I being miserable, a scrooge etc or are there other people out there who just do not celebrate these sort of events?

Ive never hugely celebrated big events enough but thats just because i dont care enough to bother, im out seeing mates most weekenda so it wouldnt be anything special.

Im not to keen on forced family events, those that wanna see me and vice versa do anyway.

But i must admit it sound a bit 'princessy' to have said no to all that, its as much for the wife (and even moreso kids?) at that age as it is for you. Fair play if italy is to much because of business commitments but wouldnt hurt to have some mates over imo.

i'd have just said we have to stay at home after that you can organise what you want.
 
I know where you're coming from. Sometimes people do what they want for your birthday rather than doing what you want. It's your day, it should be about your wishes!

My missus offered to take me away for a few days for my 30th. I said I'd love to go away as long as it was anywhere but the Lakes. So she took me to... the Lakes. She thought she could justify it by booking an amazing suite and then tried to turn it round by calling me ungrateful as she'd spent a fortune on it. So, for my 30th Birthday we had a raging argument and split up. We got back together a while later, but it's not a memory we'll look back on with fondness!

It's her 40th next year. She wants to go to New York. Might take her to the Lakes :devil:
 
I know where you're coming from. Sometimes people do what they want for your birthday rather than doing what you want. It's your day, it should be about your wishes!

My missus offered to take me away for a few days for my 30th. I said I'd love to go away as long as it was anywhere but the Lakes. So she took me to... the Lakes. She thought she could justify it by booking an amazing suite and then tried to turn it round by calling me ungrateful as she'd spent a fortune on it. So, for my 30th Birthday we had a raging argument and split up. We got back together a while later, but it's not a memory we'll look back on with fondness!

It's her 40th next year. She wants to go to New York. Might take her to the Lakes :devil


:rotfl::rotfl:
 
It got me thinking, am I being miserable, a scrooge etc or are there other people out there who just do not celebrate these sort of events?

Nope, I dislike birthdays as well. It's not a case of being miserable there are a number of other psychological factors to consider for why you don't like such events. For me it's mostly the fact I hate having so much attention and being the focus, I don't mind celebrating by going out for a meal with people and having them say happy birthday to me, hey even cards are fine, but it's when it gets to all the over the top singing and having to celebrate "bigger" than a quiet night in/out that I get bothered by it.

I did get this card however, signed from her and our daughter :eek: (see attached, has a naughty word on it so proceed with care :) ).

Sorry, had to remove that as it doesn't pass the swear filter :(
 
Nothing unusual OP

Never really gone in for the big bash myself (marquee, hiring out a venue, going abroad, etc)
- my 40th was on a sunny Sunday in March, so was out for a nice pub lunch and then booze and Krispy Kreme doughnuts back at mine

Iccz - the swear filter is messed up, after allowing that actress' name yesterday :laugh:
 
Your wife wanted to make your birthday special and thought what she would like if it was her birthday, this is more proof men are from mars and woman from venus lol

Happy birthday for tomorrow x
 
Iccz - the swear filter is messed up, after allowing that actress' name yesterday :laugh:

Indeed, it's more of a case of context though. There are other words that are allowed in certain contexts but have to be removed when used in another way.

Have to admit though I did expect the filter to kick in on that. But the word in the picture would be ****, so it's to be removed.
The filter is indeed stupid :laugh:
 
Your wife wanted to make your birthday special and thought what she would like if it was her birthday, this is more proof men are from mars and woman from venus lol

Happy birthday for tomorrow x

Men are from mars women from Venus. Women think with their hearts and men with their........
 
Going back to the OP. Its my 50th :eek: in two weeks. Wife wanted to go for a weekend in Portugal but I talked her out of it. Would rather save the mony at the moment.
Having the family around for a BBQ but really don't feel comftorble with all the attention. I'll enjoy it when it happens but the build up fills me with dread.
I'm happy just to spend the time with the wife and kids and don't feel the need for a trophy celebration.
 
OP, I turned 40 a month ago and declined the offer of a big party, fuss etc and secretly spent 6 months saving up for a fortnight on a pretty much deserted coral island in the Indian Ocean with my wife, a few other unknown guests and we had a blast!

Damn, did I make the right decision! Anyway, life on the other side of 40 isn't too bad, many happy returns!
 
Well it went ok, close family in at 5pm fed watered & out by 8pm. I was in bed by 9 now in work :)
 

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