Issue with neighbour's kids, what would you do?

myss

Member
Bear with me, it's a bit of a story.

It's my parents' home whose neighbours have at least 6+ kids in a three bedroom house ranging from mid-teenage to baby. Mum is housewife and Dad's a tradesman. Both religious and nice enough to say morning to and get a response, have been helpful to my parents in the past.

Their garden is roughly 12ft x 9ft, tripod shaped, like my parent's one but it's double the size of that neighbour's one. All houses have a shed/garage partly taking up a small part of the garden, so it's understood that there's not the space to kick a football about but it's good enough to let the youngest ones run about, plus there's a swing there too.

My parents have been there since day one in the 1960'. There used to be a 2ft high green lattice fence between the two properties for years but when this family moved it (rough guess about 8-10 years ago), there developed an issue with privacy and rare times when the kids came into my parents' garden. My dad found them noisy too but my mum used to say he's being pedantic.

About 4-5 years ago, we removed the green fence and replaced it with a wooden fence about 6ft foot but it slopes down from the back of their garden towards the back of both houses. Then a few years later we could see that the kids was climbing the fence again and not only balls were going over, toys, plastic bottles, part eaten apples, etc are also being thrown. The dad had put in some installations to keep the kids busy and it seems they were using that to get over the lower sloping parts of the fence and on rare occasions while retrieving things they stayed in our garden for a play about before going back over.

To cut this long story short, my parents then became very ill, a sibling moved in and told the neighbours' dad that he's ok about one kid coming over once to retrieve something as by that time we also installed cctv and could see that they were doing this multiple times in a day. I personally wouldn't have agreed to that.

We spoken with the parents many times, they are always sorry about it, have spoken to their kids, it goes quiet for a little while, then it starts up again. We've even raised the issue of safety of their smallest falling as we can see this happening one day and would like to avoid it but the other day I threw over a ball, three kids shoes, and bottle over, and within half hour it all came back again from the hand of a little 2-3 yo standing on their side at the top of the fence.

It may not sound like much but it can't be ignored as it's becoming a needless nuisance. My family have never had such an issue with any neighbour there before. And it's only now my relative is saying that he feels like removing the permission he previously gave as it appears to have made no difference.

So - as mentioned if you're still reading this - what would you do if you were in this position? 😐 I wondering taller fences, fences with spikes, reporting for trespass, loads of things crossing my head!
 
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mikeysthoughts

Well-known Member
I can't see anything in your post that indicates their activities are malicious or damaging, so I'm tempted to say that kids will be kids and your relative can either learn to live with it and accept they will grow out of it in time, or try to suppress it and create a growing tension with neighbours.

If it were me, then I'd be quietly annoyed by the intrusion but if there was no obivous damage or privacy issue then continue to have words with the parents who it appears from your post do try to keep their kids in check. Kids being kids, this naturally goes in one ear and out the other! If a 2-3 year old is left unsupervised in the garden and throwing things over the fence then IMHO this is a case for child services...!
 

The Beginner

Active Member
I don’t think a spiked fence is a good idea, the kids will probably still attempt to climb it but could end up having a nasty messy accident. An electric fence is a much cleaner deterrent :laugh:

What about 4-5 feet of clear netting on top of the fences? It shouldn’t block out the light or be too unsightly, but it will prevent most things from accidentally coming over to your side, and it will hopefully deter the kids from climbing it. It’s good at least that the parents appear to be understanding.

Alternatively you could say you/your sibling will in future be occasionally looking after a large dog with a potentially unstable personality, so you advise them to make sure the kids don’t come into your garden as you cannot be responsible for their safety.

The 2-3 year old is unfortunately at an age where they will be delighted to find out that anything they throw is swiftly returned to them, so will happily continue to play this ‘game’ with you all day. On the plus side they will grow out of it soon enough :)
 

Jammy Smears

Active Member
It's just something that happens when you have neighbours with kids. I will say though that when mine were little they knew that if something went over the hedge, it would stay there until the neighbours were in the garden to chuck it back over, I didn't let them go hassle the neighbours or attempt to climb over and get it themselves, they had to be patient.
My kids are grown now but my neighbours now have grandkids and stuff often comes over the hedge, I just chuck it back over whenever I'm out in the garden. Not the balls though sadly as my dog kills them!

Have a polite word and say that you'll chuck things back when you see them but they're not to climb over as your parents are getting on and worrying about injuries etc
 

Dony

Distinguished Member
If it's a continuous thing I'd try holding onto all the things the kids chuck over the fence and put them in a box. Then if they come asking I'd say they only get the stuff back if their mum or dad comes to collect it.
 

Sloppy Bob

Distinguished Member
 

aVdub

Distinguished Member
Add a trellis along the top of the fence and plant a few plants that would take advantage of that trellis.
 
I can't see anything in your post that indicates their activities are malicious or damaging, so I'm tempted to say that kids will be kids and your relative can either learn to live with it and accept they will grow out of it in time, or try to suppress it and create a growing tension with neighbours.

If it were me, then I'd be quietly annoyed by the intrusion but if there was no obivous damage or privacy issue then continue to have words with the parents who it appears from your post do try to keep their kids in check. Kids being kids, this naturally goes in one ear and out the other! If a 2-3 year old is left unsupervised in the garden and throwing things over the fence then IMHO this is a case for child services...!
You're going to call child services because a 2yr old is allowed out in the garden and throws things?

Why shouldn't a kid be allowed out in their garden if it's safe?

2 year old throw things. It's what they do. No amount of telling them will stop them because they just aren't capable of understanding why they shouldn't. I bet the parents find it just as annoying. We do with ours.
 

dmpzsn

Distinguished Member
Buy a holly or firethorn (pyracntha) bush, that will deter them, also very good for the birds. A large one would be the best as they can take a while to grow. Also recommended as a protection against burglars.
 

noiseboy72

Distinguished Member
Yep, agree with other posters. Increase the height of the fence with some trellis and tell parents anything that comes over will go into a box on your doorstep. That way, the kids don't need to come into the garden and the little one will lose interest when things don't get thrown back.
 

BB3Lions

Distinguished Member
Build a gate. The elderly love kids and tell the relative to do one. One day those kids will help your parents and look after them. #keeptheenemyclose
 

Tempest

Distinguished Member


 
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tiacat

Member
Yes increase the height of the division, plant things that wont die along the boundary like Buddleia which grows quite tall or Holly as someone said as a deterent

I dont think its a case for social services as such but children aged 2 should be supervised while out in a garden particuarly if they have siblings who are climbing over neighbours fences and could be encouraged/learn that its ok to do that, they could hurt themselves

I would also take the things that come over and ensure that the parents come to collect

It sounds as if they are attempting to be ok parents but really not equipped to manage the sheer number of children they have with competing demands.
 

John

Moderator
we casually refer to it as the Hunger Games in our household.
as with a whole host of other things , we only noticed it when working from home
its kids playing . we let our kids do it and understand that kids of today want to do it
 

larkone

Distinguished Member
One of these
Doesn't hurt them but they get a good soaking every time - you can say you installed it because you had a cat crapping on the lawn problem :smashin:
 

phillyd1981

Well-known Member
One of these
Doesn't hurt them but they get a good soaking every time - you can say you installed it because you had a cat crapping on the lawn problem :smashin:
you've just made a game for the kids to play. In the summer i set my one up and my kids love tiring to sneak past it.
 

mikeysthoughts

Well-known Member
You're going to call child services because a 2yr old is allowed out in the garden and throws things?

Why shouldn't a kid be allowed out in their garden if it's safe?

2 year old throw things. It's what they do. No amount of telling them will stop them because they just aren't capable of understanding why they shouldn't. I bet the parents find it just as annoying. We do with ours.
Hook, line and sinker. ;)
 

oneman

Active Member
Yes increase the height of the division, plant things that wont die along the boundary like Buddleia which grows quite tall or Holly as someone said as a deterent

I dont think its a case for social services as such but children aged 2 should be supervised while out in a garden particuarly if they have siblings who are climbing over neighbours fences and could be encouraged/learn that its ok to do that, they could hurt themselves

I would also take the things that come over and ensure that the parents come to collect

It sounds as if they are attempting to be ok parents but really not equipped to manage the sheer number of children they have with competing demands.
Sorry but why do feel the need to continuously supervise a 2 year old in your own garden ?

As for parents, making a lot of assumptions.
 

Miss C DeVille

Well-known Member
Sorry but why do feel the need to continuously supervise a 2 year old in your own garden ?

As for parents, making a lot of assumptions.
I think it would depend on the garden and what hazards it had in it, like a pond or something. Probably ok if it's just lawn.
I would never leave my son out in the garden on his own when he was two...he'd be sticking worms and stones down his knickers as soon as my back was turned 😜
Once when we were at the beach, just sitting there, and he looked 'lumpy' round the nether regions...he'd filled his knickers up with stones!
 

myss

Member
Thank you for your replies, there are some really good idea mentioned above that I would like to put into practice as it's the forever coming into the garden multiple times a day that mostly annoying.

Regarding the 2yo, I didn't make it clear in my OP: he was standing at the top of their side of the 6ft fence, not just standing in their garden throwing the things that I returned. It's not the first time and it's not the only small child that does this.

I believe the kids do this by using whatever it is the dad built/put beside their side of the fence to entertain them.
 
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oneman

Active Member
I think it would depend on the garden and what hazards it had in it, like a pond or something. Probably ok if it's just lawn.
I would never leave my son out in the garden on his own when he was two...he'd be sticking worms and stones down his knickers as soon as my back was turned 😜
Once when we were at the beach, just sitting there, and he looked 'lumpy' round the nether regions...he'd filled his knickers up with stones!
It's what they do. Of course of there are any serious hazards then be careful but kids learn through exploring. Mine had a thing for emptying shampoo bottles, try getting that out of a carpet.
 

Ilovewaffles

Active Member
I think some posters ere are too tolerant . I would find it very annoying. Although a two year old naturally thinks of it as a game , the parents should tell the older ones about not being a nuisance - just letting them do it is unacceptable. Balls continually being thrown over can damage plants , greenhouse etc., and if that happened, the parents would get the bill! The garden sounds very small for ball games, so perhaps take them regularly to a local park to play and tire them out! The pyracanthus hedging would be very effective.
On a lighter note perhaps the long suffering people should be looking for a bar of dairy milk being thrown over, for compensation, as in the advert!
 

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