Is this type of thing now the norm?

Lennyz

Novice Member
Hiya,

Is this scene played out nationally nowadays, and if so where are we headed?

This is basically a summary of what I witnessed, I wasn't watching everything as that would be weird but it is an approximation as to the chain of events.

Been out with my 10 year old son for lunch today and whilst chatting and waiting for our food I notice a family show up on the table next to us. A high chair is pulled up to the table, dad opens ipad and places it in front of the young girl, (i am guessing she is around four years of age) don't know what she was watching but she seemed to be fixated.

Dad then gets out his iphone and puts it on the table whilst looking at the menu. Once he has chosen he then proceeds to look at the phone.

Mum turns up and looks at the menu and they chat and discuss choices of food, eventually ordering. Dad continues to look at phone and then after a while mum roots in her bag and pulls out.... yes you guessed it a smartphone.

All three members of this family are now gazing at an electronic device in blissful ignorance of each other.

I don't know exactly what I am saying by posting this but I was struck at the time by a general disappointment, a family goes out at the weekend after maybe working all week and being apart, possibly sending a little one to nursery, if it is anything like my situation. Only to go out to be together and experience some time together in the outside world and enjoy a meal and catch up.

The week before I called into a high street coffee shop and while I was in the queue I saw a couple of guys probably about my age 40's sitting opposite each other at a small table. Both of them gazing into there smartphones seemingly oblivious to each other... go figure

I love technology and all it has to offer and am amazed by gadgets, why would I be a member here and an avid reader, I own a PAYG mobile phone, not a smartphone I must however add, but I do realize the benefits and must have attraction to them. It is the cost of owning one that is the main reason I don't have a smartphone at the moment (remember the earlier reference to having a child in nursery ;)).

Wht do you all think, has anyone else seen something similar and felt the same?
 

qwerty321

Member
I can be kind of bad at times. Use my phone to pass the time and stuff.

That said, if Im out with friends or family, Im not going to sit there ignoring them and use my phone instead!
 

FZR400RRSP

Banned
Isn't there some irony here?
That the op is posting a long message on an Internet forum at 9.28pm, when the couple he was 'amazed/disappointed' with are maybe chatting away on their sofa?
Why isn't he having lively debate with his partner?
And replace iPad with colouring book and would it be such a problem with the 4YO?
Would it be better to be in a restaurant with a bored 4YO?
Or if the couple took out newspapers, would that be a problem?
Maybe they're sick of 'lively chat' and want some peace!
The op sees some sort of 'disfunction' in the situation, I don't at all.
 
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Member 55145

Distinguished Member
I tell you one thing, I was at a restaurant the other day. Trying to eat my meal, when this couple came in with their 4 yr old brat

The two parents were constantly talking because they clearly hadn't seen each other all week and their child was screaming and running around

Really ruined my meal!

;)
 

Jamezinho

Distinguished Member
To be honest the op does raise an issue that I see all the time. People do seem glued to their phones and are often more interested in communicating with other people on Facebook, via text, etc...rather than engaging with the person/people they are with.

I find this a bit rude personally. To me it sends out a message of disinterest.
 

logiciel

Moderator
A telephone is for making telephone calls, or just possibly for sending texts.
Doing anything else with it is ridiculous.
 

Desmo

Distinguished Member
There's always one :D

Smartphones can be very handy and do a wonderful amount of things, but I do partly agree with the OP in that they should be left alone in some situations and going out for a meal, for me, is one of them. But then we're all different.
 

Knyght_byte

Novice Member
Isn't there some irony here?
That the op is posting a long message on an Internet forum at 9.28pm, when the couple he was 'amazed/disappointed' with are maybe chatting away on their sofa?
Why isn't he having lively debate with his partner?
And replace iPad with colouring book and would it be such a problem with the 4YO?
Would it be better to be in a restaurant with a bored 4YO?
Or if the couple took out newspapers, would that be a problem?
Maybe they're sick of 'lively chat' and want some peace!
The op sees some sort of 'disfunction' in the situation, I don't at all.

Um....no irony.....the OP is presumably at home, at the end of a day, possibly checking email and decided to have a quick mooch on the forums. His partner might be in bed or having a bath or something.

I do agree with the OP though in the general context, not necessarily the exact situation. I have a smartphone, yet do not feel the compunction to turn it on the moment I sit down at a table with family/friends, unless I'm receiving a call, or someone asks 'how do you get to East India Quay station'. So, granted, it is possible both of the parents had something to check on their devices.....and to keep the child from annoying (sorry, disturbing) them, they give it an ipad with cartoons on most likely. Yes, in some respect, you can draw a comparison to giving a child some crayons and paper....except the crayons and paper will definitely be providing a learning experience for the child. The iPad may just be showing a repeat of a show the child has seen many times in the same situation.

I tend to go to the restaurant and cinema more than I do the pub nowadays, and most of the time, the people I am with dont tend to look at their phones unless a call comes in, and switch them off in the cinema. However, I'm frequently disturbed now in the cinema by the rather lurid glow of a smartphones screen waving around and some moron shows off something pointless he's just been messaged. They might turn the sound off, but if anything, the screen glow is just as annoying. Then, when we are in the restaurant, you see so many people sit down, and then take their phone out of their pocket/bag and put it on the table.....I didnt realise there were so many doctors in my area.......

I am all for the advance of modern tech, and its integration in society, but it would be nice if people would be considerate for one (the cinema) and perhaps remember that you dont have to text the person opposite you to get their attention when in restaurant....they may just respond to traditional stimuli such as 'hi'.....
 

Fozzybear

Novice Member
A telephone is for making telephone calls, or just possibly for sending texts.
Doing anything else with it is ridiculous.

I use my phone occasionally for recording birdsong but its main use is as an alarm clock. I only have it for emergencies or when I really need to talk to someone about something specific so use it only rarely for calls/text. Ridiculous? Owning an ipod touch (iphone with the phone bit missing) I've found a lot of things on it that would be very useful on the move so I can certainly see the advantage but some people really do take it to extremes.

I don't really want to be someone that gets grumpy if people want to spend their time yakking into a phone or tapping away at tiny buttons, it's their choice really, though it does annoy me a bit I must admit when it happens at a tea break or out socially. I grew up without a home phone let alone mobiles so never really developed the need people now have to be in constant communication with each other.

Don't see too much wrong with the OP's scenario if the couple don't do that all the time, which probably would not be very healthy for a relationship if they did. If you spend a lot of time with another person you're not necessarily going to want to spend every moment talking to each other, though if I went to a restaurant it would be a rare occurrence and I'd not want to spend it reading twaddle on facebook or something.
 

Ian J

Banned
People do seem glued to their phones and are often more interested in communicating with other people on Facebook,

I was at a party recently trying to engage a neighbour in conversation but he wasn't really listening as he was too busy posting to Facebook that he was at a party with me :)
 

FZR400RRSP

Banned
Um....no irony.....the OP is presumably at home, at the end of a day, possibly checking email and decided to have a quick mooch on the forums. His partner might be in bed or having a bath or something.

And the couple involved in the original post might have had a row.
See how generalising works?
 

HMHB

Distinguished Member
The thing that annoy me most are the people who have to read a text as soon as it arrives even when you are mid sentence in a conversation with them. They then just stop listening to what you're saying and you're expected to shut up whilst they read and answer the text.
 

Fozzybear

Novice Member
I had an interview once where the guy showing me around spent most of the time looking at his mobile and replying to text messages. Every 15 seconds the phone would come out and he'd check it... no exaggeration!
 

Ian J

Banned
I had an interview once where the guy showing me around spent most of the time looking at his mobile and replying to text messages. Every 15 seconds the phone would come out and he'd check it... no exaggeration!

Should I come back at a more convenienet time :D
 

nheather

Distinguished Member
A trend I've noticed with my children (13 and 17) is that they do not use eMail, nor will they talk on their mobile phones.

Primary means of communication is Mobile Texting and Facebook.

Cheers,

Nigel
 

Tempest

Distinguished Member
I will admit, I hate kids having mobile phones on a family day out.

We arrange a trip out, pay for the petrol, give them money to spend on say a pier, go down to the beach, you know, a paddle or sandcastles, and they sit there staring into their mobiles, texting their mates.

Argh!

Might as well, save money, leave them at home texting and I'll go out and enjoy my day out.

I did actually (in a joking way) ban a girfriend from having her phone with her on my 2nd holiday with her. Out and away from everyone, just two of us, which never happens at home, kids, mother in law, friends etc etc, and whilst experiencing the holiday place, peace at last, phone keeps going, "Hello mum" natter natter natter" etc etc all day long.

:(
 

Solar

Well-known Member
Primary means of communication is Mobile Texting and Facebook.
I feel this causes low communication skills and confidence due to no confrontation or human interaction, and is exactly why I encourage my kids and missus not to use them.
My sister sits in her room all day with Facebook and Blackberry messenger, has no real interaction with other people, suffers from depression and is on the brink of agoraphobia, she was nothing like this until she got her BB.
 

LeftyXXIII

Distinguished Member
My other half is addicted to BBM, she only has a couple of friends on it, but they all are constantly messaging one another - that was until I had a go at her for doing it whilst in my company. She stropped for a bit and then realised that it was quite rude, now it sits on the side and she'll check it once in a while whilst we spend our time together.

She also prefers texting to calling whereas I can't stand texting as it is so easy for someone to read it wrong. I've been there a few times...
 

kav

Distinguished Member
A telephone is for making telephone calls, or just possibly for sending texts.
Doing anything else with it is ridiculous.

There seems to be a bug in the forum software, the quoted post is at least ten years old and hopelessly out of date.
 

Tempest

Distinguished Member
There seems to be a bug in the forum software, the quoted post is at least ten years old and hopelessly out of date.

Before long someone might even be crazy enough to suggest taking a Photograph with a Telephone.

Lock them up I say!
 

p9ul

Distinguished Member
I'm guessing the girl was probably about 2, we've a three year old who's been nowhere near a high chair in ages...
 

Scotteh

Active Member
The best example that shows how this world is progressing for me was the end of Life on Mars - If you haven't watched it and intend to stop reading now....





When Sam wakes up from his coma, tries to go back to normal life, all the bright colours are purposely sucked out of this whole sequence. He starts going about his day to day at work, then goes outside, sees people on their phones, ipods, earphones in, nobody socialising with each other and realising that maybe technology and how society has "progressed" isn't all that great....

That whole sequence pretty much sums up modern society for me, it's a very well done scene and hits the nail on the head.
 

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