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In memory of Ronie Barker...

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by SanPedro, Oct 31, 2005.

  1. SanPedro

    SanPedro
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    Somebody sent me this recently. (apologies if its been popsted before). But for anybody not familiare withhis work you're in for a treat (This is from 1972, BTW, when even the average bod on this forum was still in nappies)

    Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though God knows how many takes). The irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms (and not wetting your pants) as you read...

    EDIT: and just remember... It's all in YOUR mind if you read it that way.
    It all got past all the swear filters :)

    This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters. Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.

    The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

    Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

    At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

    The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.

    Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.

    "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

    Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.

    He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

    Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.
     
  2. dc007

    dc007
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    I don't believe for one minute Ronnie Barker would have either written or performed that piece - just not his style.

    Quite funny, though !
     
  3. SanPedro

    SanPedro
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    You may be right. It sounded so familiar/similar to something I'd heard way back then that i thought it must have been the one. Reading it again it does sound pretty risqué and after googling it I've found a number of links to the same piece.

    But he did do many pieces like this over the years.
     
  4. Adrenochrome

    Adrenochrome
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    That is really funny :rotfl: :thumbsup:
     
  5. PoochJD

    PoochJD
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    Hi,

    I can confirm, this sketch was certainly performed by Ronnic Barker, if not written by him, as I;ve seen this sketch at least twice on the BBC, during their many transmissions of "Two Ronnies" clips/best bits shows. :eek:

    Very funny sketch - and very daring! :rotfl:


    Pooch
     
  6. SanPedro

    SanPedro
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    Cheers Pooch. I was beginning to doubt myself there.

    it is indeed Hucking filarious
     
  7. Logo Hater

    Logo Hater
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    I watched nearly everything the Two Ronnies performed over the years, I watched every repeat that I knew was on, but I don't remember this particular piece.

    I have every DVD that has been produced, I have recorded the recent 6 hour long, repeat of some of their work. I do not recall this appearing in any of those. In fact I would be amazed if the producers of the shows would have allowed this to be transmitted.

    I have heard many sketches of this type of Spoonerism, some very, very clever, but this one is one I have certainly never seen or heard.
     
  8. Garrett

    Garrett
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    I remeber him telling one very simmilar but the nearest to the bone I heard him was doing one in ryhming slang, and was on about a bloke stoping someone else steping on a, small brown Richard the third. The the bloke picks the small brown Richard the third up and put it on a wall and it flys away.

    I do recall some other guy doing something like the above and it was his party piece.
     
  9. Big Adam

    Big Adam
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    I thought yesterday was halloween not april fools?

    It's not a Two Ronnies sketch, just a copy in the style of several classic Ronnie Barker monologues.
     

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