I'm in the dog house for teaching my son a valuable lesson

Discussion in 'Parents Forum' started by Liquid101, Jun 20, 2015.

  1. Liquid101

    Liquid101
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    I took my daughter for a bike ride this evening on the cycle path near our house. While on the ride I spotted my 11 year old son's bike and helmet abandoned just off the path - he was out with his mates and had obviously left it and was playing down by the river. 20 minutes later we came back and the bike was still there - I could hear them all in the distance, but was slightly annoyed that he'd left it well out of sight on a fairly busy path. So I picked it up and took it home. I thought that coming back to discover it missing might teach him a simple lesson in bicycle security.

    Anyway - his mother was not amused when I got home. She thought it was a bit harsh, and was worried about how he would feel when he discovered it missing. However, given that he is pestering us to buy him a new £450 mountain bike (and we're just about to do just that) I felt that learning this lesson might save him a more painful lesson in the future.

    After 20 minutes of explaining my reasoning, I got fed up with the look of thunder on her face, So went to find him. I found him where he'd left his bike, with his mates, obviously trying to work out what to do.

    He told me his bike had been stolen, and said he'd left it hidden in the bushes (a story which all of his mates backed up.. What are friends for!) - I didn't make him suffer, and told him his bike was safely locked up in the garage at home, and explained the reason for doing it. He was a bit annoyed, but mostly relieved, and totally understood my actions. Happy days, right?

    No - now I'm getting the silent treatment from the other end of the sofa from the girlfriend.

    Am I in the wrong here? What would you have done?
     
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  2. Trollslayer

    Trollslayer
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    Hopefully I would do the same. You were thinking about his long term benefit and he accepted why you did it.
     
  3. shodan

    shodan
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    I think you dealt with it very well mate. Ask your missus what she would have done, WITHOUT the benefit of hindsight. Your boy understands, what's her problem with it?
     
  4. Liquid101

    Liquid101
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    She thought it was unfair to make him feel like that. I know exactly what it feels like - I had my Raleigh Aero Pro burner nicked in 1987 - and it still hurts now. I wanted him to feel it for 30 minutes, to save him from feeling like it for 30 years.
     
  5. shodan

    shodan
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    Blimey, you must've REALLY loved that bike! All I know is that a bit of personal responsibility goes a long way in this life!
     
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  6. kav

    kav
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    Agree with what you did @Liquid101, a smart way to teach a valuable lesson without any long term pain. You weren't doing it to be malicious. Best to remain stoic about it with your girlfriend - no need for anger if she's not seeing it your way. She will eventually accept that you were right but you'll have to wait for the emotions to dissipate first. ;)
     
  7. Synchro

    Synchro
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    Well done. Good lesson!
     
  8. Synchro

    Synchro
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    By the way. Did you leave your bike unattended when it was stolen? Like father like son?
     
  9. Liquid101

    Liquid101
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    I did, but I thought it was in a safe place. I think I was followed.

    It was an expensive bike at the time, over 300 quid in 1985. My parents understood my love for BMX, so didn't mind. I was gutted when it was stolen, not just because it was my prized possession, but mostly because I felt I'd let my folks down. The fact they didn't blame me or get angry made it worse.
     
  10. paulyoung666

    paulyoung666
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    You did no wrong ...
     
  11. Miss Mandy

    Miss Mandy
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    I think you did the right thing. Regardless of what your girlfriend thinks as long as the lad has learnt from it that's the important thing and if he's getting that new bike he'll look after it a lot better.
     
  12. N3ptun3m00n

    N3ptun3m00n
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    Absolutely the right thing to have done. Tbf I would have acted like I hadn't of taken it home to begin with to further get the point across!!

    Your gf should appreciate the fact that you have done this and it wasn't some low life scum actually taking the bike. She would then have been genuinely mad with your son for a real reason!! Sometimes (all the time) I just can't work the female species out. It's the sort of thing my mrs would do.
     
  13. Jsnatch

    Jsnatch
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    Cant see anything wrong, but im always getting into the same situation with the looks of thunder and silent treatment.

    It usually always ends up the next day or two our son (2yrs) will be running circles around her and have her wrapped round his little finger, until daddy steps in! and its always because she "doesnt want to upset him"

    or i get told the golden line "its a mummy thing" and when its not child related "its a woman thing" haha!
     
  14. Trollslayer

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    Personally I find it a selfish thing, putting her comfort ahead of the child's long term well being.
     
  15. Liquid101

    Liquid101
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    Thanks - next time I want a couple of hours of silence, I'll pull this line out.
     
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  16. paulyoung666

    paulyoung666
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    Did a similar thing a few years ago when I was trying to get our kids to wear bike helmets , found them stuffed in the hedge around the corner , removed them and hid them , you should have seen the looks on their faces when they found they were gone !!!
     
  17. Mr X

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    I would do exactly the same thing! Can't believe your GF reacted in that way.
    If you had done nothing and the bike was subsequently stolen, she would have then no doubt blamed you for not doing anything!

    Can't win!

    I like your principles, stick with them mate but consider losing the GF ;)
     
  18. Pecker

    Pecker
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    You did the right thing.

    Steve W
     
  19. Hjboss

    Hjboss
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    It's good u did that and we as guys understand the moral of it all but sometimes ... Most of the time people don't see things the same way and by people I mean the other half .
    Well if your a positive person you'll see things in a positive way and the the thing is he still has his bike and hopefully it won't get stolen and I think your son has learnt that- a valuable lesson.
    Don't worry about her just spend some time with your son and daughter and she'll come round eventually
     
  20. AdrianMills

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    Yes, I think that was a good way of teaching him a lesson. And what did he forfeit for the lies he told?
     
  21. Liquid101

    Liquid101
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    Nothing. I couldn't be sure he'd lied to me about where he'd left his bike. It's possible that one of his mates had moved it without his knowledge - I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Letting him think it had been nicked for 20 minutes was punishment enough.

    In the weeks since this incident, he has been considerably more careful with his bike. So something obviously sank in.
     
  22. Trollslayer

    Trollslayer
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    Learning to take responsibility, no bad thing.
     
  23. shahedz

    shahedz
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    Would have done the same thing. A very valuable lesson at little if any real cost.
     
  24. baker

    baker
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    I'd have done the same thing, but most probably slightly selfish, as the main reason is I wouldn't want to fork out on a replacement bike had it actually been stolen :laugh:.
     
  25. LJx

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    I think you did the right thing. When I was younger my mum saw my brother leave his bike outside ASDA unlocked, she took it home with her and locked it away. I think he got it back a few months later. He still thinks it was stolen to this day
     
  26. Harkon321

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    I'd have done exactly the same.
     
  27. Showoff

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