Kit123
Established Member
Hello Playstation fanatics,
As you may know I have been looking to buy a television for my son - he will also require a PS3. On further inspection of the issue I have discovered that this is in fact a completely unreasonable demand, to ask a 12 year old boy to spend his pocket money on a £300 game console.
So, instead of buying such a silly item I will steal it. In this thread I will outline my plans and you can give me any feedback where you feel necessary whilst giving me information on your own experience when trying to steal a Sony Playstation 3.
The Plan
At approx 07.00 I will enter the retailer known as GAME. I will mull around the shop for exactly 17 minutes, mostly in the used sections - showing a strange interest in the 'Disney' gaming titles.
The purpose of this is to alert my self to the staff at GAME as someone who knows so little about video games that they couldn't possibly know the value of a Sega master system, let alone a PS3.
Wading through the pungent droves of overweight mothers and emotionally frustrated children at the PSP Section, I will eventually reach the PS3 display. Upon reaching this area of the shop I will scream very loudly and wave my arms as if I were in grave danger. This will assert my self as a serious customer, far from their usual selection of time wasters.
Once an employee arrives to assist me, I will insist they remove a PS3 from a box so I can check to see where its centre of balance is. I understand this is common practice in retail outlets so I doubt I will have many problems getting the PS3 in my possession.
You may say this is all well and good, but how am I going to get the console out of the shop? Well, this is where my whole plan fits together. I have been researching how to conceal the system and various accessories on my person, the first obvious choice was to pretend to be a pregnant woman. I originally thought I could get away with this as many women in Birmingham have a startling resemblance to a Neanderthal. I have now ruled out this option as I find my self far too handsome to ever perform in such a role.
Then it came to me, a clown!
As you see from this image, clowns have the ability to blend inconsipiciously into a crowd whilst retaining the ability to wear, frankly, obtuse trousers.
My plan is to craft a kangerooesque pouch out of twisted coat hangers and used cereal boxes (a technique I perfected after many years of studying Blue Peter).
I will simply distract the GAME employee by pointing outside and yelling "Look over there, a well supported PC game with no copy protection!" He will soon scamper off and this will allow me to just slide the PS3 into my pouch and make a smooth getaway.
Clown costume: £25
Transport: £3
Coathangers and cereal boxes: £1.78
My Son's love: Priceless
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else theres dressing up like a clown and nicking it.
---
Thoughts?
As you may know I have been looking to buy a television for my son - he will also require a PS3. On further inspection of the issue I have discovered that this is in fact a completely unreasonable demand, to ask a 12 year old boy to spend his pocket money on a £300 game console.
So, instead of buying such a silly item I will steal it. In this thread I will outline my plans and you can give me any feedback where you feel necessary whilst giving me information on your own experience when trying to steal a Sony Playstation 3.
The Plan
At approx 07.00 I will enter the retailer known as GAME. I will mull around the shop for exactly 17 minutes, mostly in the used sections - showing a strange interest in the 'Disney' gaming titles.
The purpose of this is to alert my self to the staff at GAME as someone who knows so little about video games that they couldn't possibly know the value of a Sega master system, let alone a PS3.
Wading through the pungent droves of overweight mothers and emotionally frustrated children at the PSP Section, I will eventually reach the PS3 display. Upon reaching this area of the shop I will scream very loudly and wave my arms as if I were in grave danger. This will assert my self as a serious customer, far from their usual selection of time wasters.
Once an employee arrives to assist me, I will insist they remove a PS3 from a box so I can check to see where its centre of balance is. I understand this is common practice in retail outlets so I doubt I will have many problems getting the PS3 in my possession.
You may say this is all well and good, but how am I going to get the console out of the shop? Well, this is where my whole plan fits together. I have been researching how to conceal the system and various accessories on my person, the first obvious choice was to pretend to be a pregnant woman. I originally thought I could get away with this as many women in Birmingham have a startling resemblance to a Neanderthal. I have now ruled out this option as I find my self far too handsome to ever perform in such a role.
Then it came to me, a clown!
As you see from this image, clowns have the ability to blend inconsipiciously into a crowd whilst retaining the ability to wear, frankly, obtuse trousers.
My plan is to craft a kangerooesque pouch out of twisted coat hangers and used cereal boxes (a technique I perfected after many years of studying Blue Peter).
I will simply distract the GAME employee by pointing outside and yelling "Look over there, a well supported PC game with no copy protection!" He will soon scamper off and this will allow me to just slide the PS3 into my pouch and make a smooth getaway.
Clown costume: £25
Transport: £3
Coathangers and cereal boxes: £1.78
My Son's love: Priceless
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else theres dressing up like a clown and nicking it.
---
Thoughts?