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How does a woman shift a telly?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Nobber22, Aug 23, 2005.

  1. Nobber22

    Nobber22
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    When I learned the answer to this question, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I still don't...... :oops:


    I sit opposite a really quite foxy young lady in my office who, on the whole, is quite a smart little cookie. Or so I thought until she told me what she did last night..... :rolleyes:

    She got home from work and went into the livingroom to turn on the television. I think Hollyoaks or something was about to start, so she was all fired up to watch it, but when she tried to turn on the telly, all she got was a loud clicking noise and no picture or sound. The telly in question is a 32'' Panny which is a couple of years old and has always worked fine. Now it doesn't and she is starting to panic:

    "Hollyoaks is on in a minute and I HAVE to watch it!" she howls (or some such similar cry of distress). "What am I to do??? :( ". Her boyfriend is out at this time and won't be back for hours.
    "Ah, I know" she says, "I'll get the telly upstairs and bring it down!" :clap:

    - Now some background here is important so we can get into her mind at this point. They live happily together in a communal grade 2 Listed Building with a shared Sky service. They also have a spare 28''' Sony widescreen telly upstairs which is connected to a small portable indoor aerial for Channels 1-5. No Sky multiroom setup (owing to the dish sharing).

    Ok, at this point the smart ones among you (well those who watch soaps anyway :rolleyes: ) will say: "Hang on Foxy, love. You don't need to move the telly. Just watch Hollyoaks on Channel 4 upstairs!" :hiya:

    No-Can-Do! She wants to watch E4 and catch 2 episodes in a row - you can apparently do this with soaps? :boring: - so the Sony has to come downstairs! Now!!

    So off she toddles upstairs to get the 28'' Sony. But it's rather heavy, you see and Big Strong Boyfriend won't be home for absolutely ages! She can't lift it properly and carry it herself. So she wrestles the telly off the table, onto it's screen and then slides it easily across the floor to the top of the stairs!! Then she slides it down the stairs (very carefully she tells me!) just letting it bump a teeny bit on each step - it's heavy you know! :lesson: (At this point her absent boyfriend possibly feels a slight tightening in his testicular area, but can't figure out why.... :confused: )

    After about 15 minutes of this careful sliding and gentle bumping, she gets it into the livingroom, ready to watch. (God only knows if Hollyoaks has started or not??) So she tries to put it onto the telly stand, but the darn 32'' Panny is in the way.!! So she stands over the Panny, grips it with both hands and tries to lift it off the stand. No deal. So she places a sofa pillow on the side of the stand and carefully pushes the Panny onto it.........CRASH!! It misses the pillow and cracks its frame on the carpet! At the same time, the Sky box goes sliding across the shelf (due to the Scart lead only being just long enough) and smashes one of their wedding picture frames into splinters!

    "Oh, no the wedding picture!!!" :eek: :eek: "What will I do?? I know, I'll watch Hollyoaks!! :clap: "

    But the 28'' Sony is still face-down on the carpet. So she picks it up and puts her back out!! So she drops the Sony on the floor and cracks the frame and the screen on that one! (Boyfriend feels much sharper pain in his nether regions and feels sick to his stomach)

    Boyfriend decides to limp home to find her tearful on the sofa with a bad back and the shattered wedding photo clutched to her breast. He can't watch any telly because both are narked! :rotfl: :rotfl:

    Tonight she is meeting Big Strong Boyfriend so he can buy them a new LCD that she can easily carry around the house!! :eek: :eek:

    But first she has to call the insurance company and explain what happened - will I be listening in on that conversation? Oh yes!! :devil:
     
  2. ~Kev H~

    ~Kev H~
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    :rotfl: :rotfl: Brilliant!

    Women... Know your limits! :D ;)
     
  3. richjthorpe

    richjthorpe
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    I think I know the reason, she only switched the Amp and Sky+ on and not the TV. The clicking she could hear was the MakePovertyHistory advert.

    :D
     
  4. HMHB

    HMHB
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    :rotfl: excellent - WOMEN KNOW YOUR LIMITS !!!!!
    Edit - I honestly didn't copy your post Kev - there were no replies there when I started typing this and was interrupted by a phone call. Great minds eh !
     
  5. richjthorpe

    richjthorpe
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    Hehehe, was it a Thursday ?

    :)
     
  6. Ethics Gradient

    Ethics Gradient
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    don't forget to mention to her she could have just switched the sky to the right channel and set the video going and watched it later when the boyfreind came home to help ;)
     
  7. Ed Selley

    Ed Selley
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    Which I assume she is paying for?
    Makes me so happy that my Mrs is a happy, technically savvy girl who probably looks after the gear better than I do :)
     
  8. w3dal

    w3dal
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    Isnt that Nuts Day?? :thumbsup:
     
  9. Razor

    Razor
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    Poor Bloke.
     
  10. PoochJD

    PoochJD
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    Hi,

    If she'd been even more sensible, she could simply have waited for the episodes of "Hollyoaks" to have been repeated on E4+1 - giving her a whole hour to do the job right in the first place, and not end-up buggering all the TV's in their flat! Sheesh! :rolleyes:

    Anyway, funny post, and thanks to Nobber for that! :clap:


    Pooch
     
  11. mcfarfs

    mcfarfs
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    Wicked skills.
     
  12. Shady

    Shady
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    ...or even easier... wait until Sunday morning and watch them all in bed on Channel 4 with the Sunday papers, breakfast and coffee on the go - perfect.

    Women eh...
     
  13. HMHB

    HMHB
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    Mind you, I reckon 2 smashed televisions sets is preferable to watching an episode of Hollyoaks :D
     
  14. Nobber22

    Nobber22
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    You sure you're a man? :confused:
     
  15. Mr Cat

    Mr Cat
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    seems a good idea to me...tho, I wouldn't be watching hollyoaks tho!
     
  16. branny

    branny
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    After (mis)reading the title, this thread is totally notwhat I expected. Although I did wonder how on earth a lady would pass a telly out of such a small place!!!

    Branny
     
  17. smelly

    smelly
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    Hollyoaks!!! :eek: :suicide:

    And thats the only comment I'm making :D
     
  18. mickrick

    mickrick
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    So if she has a big, strong boyfriend, why does she have wedding photos? Or put another way, what will her (temporarily absent I presume) husband do when he finds out both tellys are knacked and some bloke has given her the gift of an lcd tv?
     
  19. windrush.mail

    windrush.mail
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    my thoughts exactly ????
     
  20. Nobber22

    Nobber22
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    On further investigation, it turns out it was a picture of her sister's wedding. The whole family were posed together and the photo was placed in an expensive silver frame - which is now toast.....hence the waterworks.

    No news yet from the insurance company. :D
     
  21. lmccauley

    lmccauley
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    They'll be too busy ******ing themselves laughing :D

    Cheers,
    Liam
     
  22. Mep

    Mep
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    has to be the funniest thing i've read in ages!!
     
  23. Adrenochrome

    Adrenochrome
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    That is almost as funny as the first post (but not quite)

    Adrenochrome.
     

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