How do you cope with your partner having 'been with' other people ???

Flimber

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Serious question. Does it bother you ? Do you just not think about it ? Would it bother you if you thought about it ? (And is that why you don't think about it ?)

I'm talking about previous relationships or whatever and not necessarily ones since he/she has had since being with you :D But obviously, that counts too. Perhaps more so.

Cheers.
 
Err no. She's a tad bothered by mine though, especially as my first time was threesome (2 females before all you jokers get in there!).
 
As long as previous partners were and remain strangers, doesn't bother me.
It's when previous partners are people you know, or become people you know, that it becomes awkward.
For example, a mate starting going out with a woman I'd been with (one night stand), years ago.
Had to tell the wife prior to a meal we were all attending.
 
The way I see it is whatever my wife did before I met her, made her the woman I fell in love with.
As long as you both 'behave' now, what difference does it make ?

So if you were in the company of a bloke/s who had 'experienced' your wife, it wouldn't bother you?
 
So if you were in the company of a bloke/s who had 'experienced' your wife, it wouldn't bother you?

Only if they were all there at the same time. Hell of a party that would be.
 
So if you were in the company of a bloke/s who had 'experienced' your wife, it wouldn't bother you?

I have met one of my wifes old partners, didn't really bother me.
Its unlikely that both people in a partnership don't have a history of previous relationships / partners.
 
What's to cope with? It's in the past so neither here nor there... :smoke:
 
I've not met any of hers, and she hasn't met any of mine, thankfully.

When she married me I took that to mean she wanted to be with me and no-one else, presumably because I'm the best she thinks she'll ever have (not being vulgar, I mean as a husband), I hope she understood that when I said my vows, I felt the same. Still do. :)
 
Agree with FZR, out of sight, out of mind. It would bother me quite a lot if an ex of hers was back in the same social circle, I think. And yes, I'm fully aware that that's nothing to do with her and shows up my insecurities and blah blah blah. Can't really control how I feel though.
 
EX of mine introduced me to my wife (after we had split) that we are still friends with and we are still friends with a couple of hers.

Couple of odd "related" threads you've started recently Flimber, the first isn't unfortunately leading to this one i hope?
 
For me it would depend on the number of previous relationships. I'm comfortable in the fact that my wife had only been in one sexual relationship before, but if she was the local bike then I've no idea how I'd feel.

From my wife's point of view, there's only one previous relationship of mine that she's not comfortable with, any other's and she doesn't care.
 
For me it would depend on the number of previous relationships. I'm comfortable in the fact that my wife had only been in one sexual relationship before, but if she was the local bike then I've no idea how I'd feel.

From my wife's point of view, there's only one previous relationship of mine that she's not comfortable with, any other's and she doesn't care.

If its with her mother/sister/Dad/Brother then i would say that's understandable :D
 
personally I'm fine with it... it's part of their history :)

sometimes tho when ex's come around (due to small kids etc) - that can be an issue I dare say - as I was with someone and her ex didn't like the idea of another bloke being with his young son etc...

my current lady tho - she's a bit insecure at times - as she knows (bit's) about my background...as in the two years before I met her I had about 10 lovers - as I was trying to find the right person... :) and he fact I still have a couple (that she knows of) of my ex's on facebook... and one kept perstering me for a while - tho, she's met someone now... !
 
Would bother me if they were still floating around. Not too much of an issue for me though as things stand though.


Hope you're not running your mind through the mill though Flimber, you'll be doing yourself no favours.

Talk to your wife about your feelings if you're feeling insecure about anything, if she's reasonable then she will take on board what you're saying and change any actions that are upsetting you, within reason of course.
 
To be honest in glad she got a bit of practice in because I can't be dealing with a beginner. Joke!

Doesn't bother me massively, I don't think she gave it out too easily despite the fact I'd sealed the deal within two hours of meeting we haven't looked back since, down the line.

I think (with the exception of getting with a bike) it is more about you than her, sort any personal issues you have out and it won't matter.

That is her past and you have yours, put more effort in to being the best lover you can and live in the moment and your future.
 
I don't really get the question to be honest. She's been with other people before she met me. I've been with other people before I met her. It's called life. I chose her over all the others. She chose me over all the others.

Where's the issue exactly?
 
Chose or settled? I don't mean personally, just another way to look at it. I can imagine some May pine after a past lover who for them was just another. Thankfully mine tells me all the time what she thinks of me, withers she's very happy or a good liar. Ignorance is bliss!
 
Serious question. Does it bother you ? Do you just not think about it ? Would it bother you if you thought about it ? (And is that why you don't think about it ?)

I'm talking about previous relationships or whatever and not necessarily ones since he/she has had since being with you :D But obviously, that counts too. Perhaps more so.

I would be worried if my missus didn't have previous relationships!

I'm proud to be her hubby - beaten the other barstewards. :D
 
I had a horrible experience once when a new guy started at work with me....I popped home for lunch one day when he was out working with me. My wife was at home (girlfriend at the time).
She said "Oh Hello!" to him......Come on you all know exactly where this is going :thumbsdow

He left 2 days later :eek:
 
But what if your missus had previously been with another attractive women, and you only found out when you had a party at home one day, and your missus suggested a threesome with you and her old lover for old times sake.

That would be terrible huh ?
 
It's not something I think about, nor would it bother me if I did. It's a good job my wife feels the same, as I've lived in this house since I was a teenager and have nailed half the street. :D

My wife knows about the next door neighbour and the woman across the road, but just laughs as they're not exactly stunners. It may be different if they were!
 

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