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How bad is House of the Dead?

Sick Boy

Established Member
Love zombie films. But have seen the incredibly poor reviews for this film. And all the directors other films. You can usually get some fool giving every film a glowing review just to get others to suffer like they have. But not this one.

Is this too bad even for Sky Movies to show it? They've shown some poor films.

The review for 'Alone in the Dark' on here didn't look much better, but I kind of want to see that too. Is this Christian Slaters worse film?
 

Marc

Distinguished Member
both are pretty damn awful, house of the dead especially so. they actually use game footage during the movie.. i suppose there's a half decent action scene mid way through the movie but that's about all it has going for it.
 
U

UnicronI

Guest
Definately the single worst 'done' film ever! But its worth seeing just so it can set a new stanrd for what a bad film is!
 

pjclark1

Prominent Member
I rather liked HOTD, plenty of action and adventure
unlike Alone in the Dark, that was bad in almost every way.
 
R

rmoxon

Guest
People still seem unaware of just how awful alone in the dark is so I just did this mini review to describe how painful it is.....

Enjoy....

Besides shouting things like “Tara Reid as a scientist!!!???” most people seem to have trouble describing why Uwe Boll’s second film is the pile of faeces that it is. This could be because of a few reason; they could have slept through most of it; they may have found the air that surrounded them at the time more interesting than what was on screen and so their mind wandered; or most likely, they just couldn’t believe what they were seeing and ended up speechless for several weeks. Whatever the reason though, you don’t get much worse films than Alone In The Dark (at least not without intention anyway). It’s a movie so full of lazy mistakes, obvious continuity errors and plot points that seem to have been written for different movies yet all appear here making no sense and apparently unconnected to one another. Its like an Ed Wood film without the funniness, its like playing the video games from which it is based with the levels and story all completely out of sequence. Watching Alone In The Dark feels like someone has got two red hot pokers and shoved them into your eye sockets for two hours… and that’s only the first five minutes of the film.
 

Soundwave

Distinguished Member
KevD I'm afraid you are beyond help & I have dispatched the men in white coats to come collect you, now just sit there like a good little boy & they shall be along shortly :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Now I havent seen Alone in the Dark...the fact that Uwe Bolle directed it was enough to scare me away from it after the atrocity of HoTD, which is quite possibly one of the worst films I've ever seen.

The game would have made a fantastic movie if it had been one properly but as it wasnt the whole thing was completley raped & turned into some abomination that had absolutely nothing to do with the games whatsoever & I mean when did a bunch of Raving Teens suddenly become crackshots & double hard SAS style marines???? :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono:

As an aside the second one is no better either in fact the opening scene rate's as quite possibly the most cringe inducing 10minute's of film ever comitted to celluloid, another one to avoid totally.

Neil
 
The only thing I liked about AITD was the Music playing during the useless Sex scene between Tara Reid and whatever his name was, what I don't get is why this movie got a release on WMVHD??????..
 

Marc

Distinguished Member
KevD said:
HELP ME!!! :lease:

I have a confession to make :rolleyes:

I enjoyed both these films.

:suicide:

you're on top form tonight ;)

so what did you think of battlefield earth?
 

Sick Boy

Established Member
UnicronI said:
Definately the single worst 'done' film ever! But its worth seeing just so it can set a new stanrd for what a bad film is!

Think i'll go with this view:smashin:

KevD said:
HELP ME!!! :lease:

I have a confession to make :rolleyes:

I enjoyed both these films.

:suicide:

This is the kind of Honesty we should be proud of. You are of course the first person I have found who has liked this film. I can almost see Uwe Boll celebrating.
 

KevD

Distinguished Member
Marc said:
you're on top form tonight ;)

so what did you think of battlefield earth?
No never watched it, maybe because I will find I do like it :rolleyes:

There is no such thing as a bad film, just ones that are not as good :thumbsup:
 

Marc

Distinguished Member
lovemunkey187 said:
For the love of all that is holy don't watch it.

heh, i own that and i keep being tempted to watch it again, never quite tempted enough though..

i've also got gigli :oops:
 

Marc

Distinguished Member
lovemunkey187 said:
Never seen this but I really want to watch it. Affleck has never been in a bad film.

lol you said that with such a straight face :rotfl:
 

lovemunkey187

Established Member
Like I said, Never been in a bad film. Although I have to hold my hand up and say that I've never seen Surviving Christmas. My dislike of Christmas out weighs my wanting to watch Affleck.

Seth Gecko said:
Armageddon, Surviving Christmas, Reindeer Games.........

Marc said:
lol you said that with such a straight face :rotfl:

Jay said it the best in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

"Affleck, you the bomb in Phantoms, Yo"
 

Marc

Distinguished Member
lovemunkey187 said:
Jay said it the best in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

"Affleck, you the bomb in Phantoms, Yo"

ah Phantoms, love that movie :D mmm rose mcgowan
 

Eddy.

Banned
Seth Gecko said:
Armageddon, Surviving Christmas, Reindeer Games.........

GIGLI!
 

Seth Gecko

retired member
Eddy. said:
As Marc had already stated he owned this and LoveMunkey mentioned he hadn't seen it - I was highlighting other outstanding works of Affleck.

Outstandingly bad, I should say.
 

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