Help and advice

dUnKle

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Hi,
I imagine that answers to my questions are in the forum somewhere, but so over whelmed and shell shocked at moment cant see for looking

I became a Dad on the 25th to a lovely little girl. She was 3 weeks early, raised heartbeat and extended breach saw my wife go from a routing midwife appointment to delivering via C. All in space of 4 hours. Baby was then on special care for weekend before coming home to us Monday after spending Sunday afternoon on ward with Mum

Im not sure what to do and admit to feeling rather scared and emotional at moment, in fact just had to go answer door to a salesmen, someone I would usually show short shrift to and started to well up :) - silly eh ?

Im getting plenty of cuddles and making up bottles (wife wanted to breast feed but due to op she is in lot of pain and discomfort)

Im scared im not sterilising bottles enough, im scared how hot the feed should be
I wanting to try make up a couple of batches but again scared if I should or not, then read dozens of ways your supposed to do it etc

I just feel so overwhelmed

The little one, Daisy, is good as gold bless her, sleeps, eats, sicks, poos repeat and tends to cry only when hungry or naked

She seems to feed every 3 hours or so, midwifes say thats good, however this evening she just wanted to sleep and I could not get her to take her milk, then that seems to go cold and im not sure if I need to reheat (and if so how) or what to do ?

I have two feeds made up in fridge for 2200hrs or so and then 0100hrs as wanted to be prepared

I just worry, worry about everything. Are the baby bottles sterilised enough, are the teats faulty as milk does not seem to come out. Then its either seemingly going in too fast or not going at all

Her Mum just had her though and managed to get a good amount of milk down her, but again worried took so long was cold

Then last night we winded her etc but within hour all her milk came back up, and I then worry what happens if im asleep and dont hear that

God I must sound a real fool, I have family, I have friends, two great ones who are brilliant for advice, but I guess the sounding of this out to people who dont know me helps in a different way
 
Welcome to becoming a first time dad. You will have many many worries and not matter what anyone says you will still worry. Everything is new and the thought that this little person is wholly dependent on you can be very frightening. Try to bear in mind that babies are very robust things and it would take a lot to cause any issues to them within reason. The fact the milk is a degree hotter or colder than ideal is not going to be a big issue. The fact they do not feed on schedule is not an issue either, if they want to sleep then let them sleep, they will tell you when they are hungry. As long as they are not feeding due to be ill or something similar then you will be fine.
It will get easier and you will worry less as you get more confidence in what is happening. It is currently feeling worse due to the other things that have gone on. Although family members, like parents, can be very helpful try not to rely too much on them but get into a routine that works for you and your wife. This will build your confidence and make you feel far more in control. Take their advice on board but do what you and your wife feels is best.
 
Congratulations. Sounds like you are doing fine. It does agent a bit easier as the worries become less immediate, but worriers are here to stay now - you'll get used to it!
 
Cheers

Night two went better than night one, so that must be something :)

Just trying to get the routine of making up 3 feeds, cooling heating etc
Might go try just go for walk later on todd, clear head etc, does that sound selfish ?
 
Does not sound selfish at all. We all need some time to ourselves. If it means you can function better after then I would say it is a good thing for the family as a whole. A routine is good but do not become a slave to it.
 
Pretty sure this is why you get parental leave after a birth. Don't worry either. I tend to think there is always less proficient people out there and they manage so I am sure I can figure it out. You'll be fine.
 
Had to bring them back in to hospital as baby stopped feeding this afternoon

Minute we get here they get bottle and she has a good 30+ ml and then again just had same

More than she had in last 12 hours or more

Staff here think it may be the teats we are using

Tommy tippy is who we have. They have number one on them and a small little vent on them. They think the flow is too fast hence reason for not feeding

The teat on bottle here is like this

R
ImageUploadedByAVForums1398892185.055065.jpg


Anyone say where I can get similar for out bottles at home ?
 
From memory the teats are graded 1,2,3 which represent the speed of flow with 1 being the slowest and for newborns. We used Tommy Tippee mostly although others were also OK.

My first was born by C-section and there were complications which meant that the missus couldn't do anything for herself for the 1st 4/5 weeks. Poor girl couldn't even stand up or go to the toilet by herself so I had a newborn and a disabled person to look after.
Stress ain't the word for it!
So steep learning curve for me but the most important thing I learned was that babies are individuals with likes and dislikes.
And they love a routine and need a routine (as do the parents) but sometimes they want to eat or sleep when they want to.
And sometimes they just cry! Not hungry, wet, cold, hot, lonely, tired etc.. I figured that the boy just had new lungs and just wanted to use them....

Anyways, try not to stress, take time for yourself and don't worry so much! Babies get born in caves in incredibly hostile environments and as long as the have love, they grow just fine.

Also, something else I've learned add my kids have got older, they grow and change faster than adults so what works one day, may not work the next..
 
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Cheers
The ones we have have 1 on them but midwife believed there is a slower flow version
Maybe it's the vari flow system they have which is causing issues
 
And now you aren't just dUnkle, you are dDaddy too.....:D
 
Its very overwhelming especially when you're not expecting a baby to come early.

Couple of questions:

1. How are you sterilising bottles? We have an electric tommee tippee steriliser so all bottles are washed, go in then are sterilised in about 5 minutes. Once sterilised they last 24 hrs.

2. With the teats we used tommee tippee and for the first couple of days we actually had to syringe the milk into our daughters mouth as she couldn't grasp drinking it. If you want the nuk teats you will probably have to buy new bottles. Although I've not seen those particular ones. Which tommee tippee bottles and teats do you have? We found that you needed to make sure the vent was popped open whilst cleaning as otherwise it would sometimes stick. Does the year collapse when she is drinking? Our girl fell asleep during most of her early feeds and I always had to end up tickling her feet or blowing her face a little for her to take more milk.

3. From looking at the bottle is she on Aptimal? Most milk prep advice is the same and recommends you to make feeds on demand. Obviously this is not ideal when you have a screaming newborn wanting to be fed there and then. If you've got the money I would highly recommend investing in the tommee tippee perfect prep machine. Our daughter is 10 months old and I've used it since she came home from hospital it was a god send. Back to milk - once you've made a bottle you should dispose of it within 2 hours as the milk starts to go bad. I would not recommend reheating milk either as its not good for their delicate tummies. To be honest everyone makes bottles up different and if it works carry on but I just wanted to let you know what other options you have.

(It probably sounds like I work for tommee tippee but I promise I don't ha!)

4. Where is she sleeping at night? Is she in your room?

For the first few weeks you'll find that your baby will eat and sleep and do nothing else. This is not unusual it's just because this is all they have been used to for the last 9 months. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job and I'm sure your wife appreciates the support. I had a c section so can empathise but it's crucial that your wife doesn't try and do too much too soon as she needs to recover.
 
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Cheers
Help appreciated
We have the TT sterlisier, only really wanted TT as thats all I had as baby

Ive googled and watched video on the prep machine - im not sure if I get it, besides it pouring in the required water, what else does it do ? see still have to add formula etc yourself (sorry hope that does not sound rude, its just me being a confused Dad)

Was looking at the forumal pro
 
just remembered the other thing confused about

the steriliser holds 8 bottles and teats (although no room for the lids so I do a few less bottles and teats)
It says that everything remains sterile whilst lid in place

Now this is where I get confused

I open it up
I remove a lid, bottle and teat and make up bottle, I replace the lid onto steriliser

So does this count as the lid remaining in place ? or the minute I open lid am I subjecting bottles to infection ?

I know im worrying and probably too much, but just trying get head around things

The tommy tippie perfect shot thing seems good alternative to boiling kettle and walking round kitchen with it

does it do 90ml though or is it just in combinations of 2 floz ?
 
It will stay sterile within reason for as long as it is left unopened. Once you open for first time then no longer sterile as such but bottles will be fine to use over the prescribed period if a day or so. We were lucky in that my wife breastfed ours which makes life so much easier although was hard for the wife at the start and she needed a lot of determination to stick with it. I can see the need for sterilisation but do wonder if we get too hung up on it at times. For example with the stetiliser and opening the lid. The bottles in reality are going to be fine to use for much longer than the 24 hours stated. Also about what happened before all the modern gadgets. Also once baby learns to put hand in mouth then sterilisation kind of goes out the window unless you keep their hands permanently sterile.
 
Cheers fella. Located em at boots
Purchased

Discovered she is also tongue tied so assume that will not help
 
With the bottles I've always just taken them as I needed but if you are worried you could put them together once the steriliser has finished and they are still safe for 24 hrs. You can just keep them to one side on the work top.

Whilst pregnant id never looked at how to make a bottle as I intended to breast feed but it just didn't work out. The first couple of bottles she had we followed the instructions on the tin of boiling the kettle and letting it cool for 30 mins and I just thought that was crazy! With the perfect prep it puts the hot shot of water in to allow you to add the formula so it mixes and the this water kills any bacteria in the formula. This initial hot shot also apparently sterilises the bottle again. You press the button again and it adds filtered cooled water so the temp is just right for baby. It's basically a glorified baby coffee machine but with formula. I just found it saved my sanity and I felt confident knowing I was making bottles the 'right' way. To make it even easier we had some of the tommee tippee powder dispensers which I topped up for those night feeds so you aren't faffing about with scoops.

The tongue tie will probably explain why she may not have liked the tt bottles. Hopefully she'll get on better with the nuk bottles now
 
I think you just need to find a system/method that works for you but do not feel that this has to be a new (and expensive) gadget. As a new parent you will end up buying all sorts of stuff that you will either never use or use once and never again. Even if friends recommend something as the best thing they have ever used does not mean you will find it useful. Somethings will fit with the way you do things and others will not. I am a strong proponent for keeping things as simple (and as cheap) as possible when it comes to this kind of thing. Try not to over think too much and if you really want to read a book (personally I would say do not bother) on how to bring up a child then pick one and stick with it otherwise you will just confuse yourself more as they contradict each other etc. Take other peoples advice with a pinch of salt but make sure you and your wife communicate a lot so that you can decide on the best thing to do for you as a couple and your young child. Even though you do not feel it now you do know what the best thing is for you all and you just need the confidence to put it into practise. Do not care what others think as long as the 3 of you in your family are happy and healthy.
 
PSM1 hit the nail on the head. This really sums up the whole situation, very well said.
 
With the bottles I've always just taken them as I needed but if you are worried you could put them together once the steriliser has finished and they are still safe for 24 hrs. You can just keep them to one side on the work top.

Whilst pregnant id never looked at how to make a bottle as I intended to breast feed but it just didn't work out. The first couple of bottles she had we followed the instructions on the tin of boiling the kettle and letting it cool for 30 mins and I just thought that was crazy! With the perfect prep it puts the hot shot of water in to allow you to add the formula so it mixes and the this water kills any bacteria in the formula. This initial hot shot also apparently sterilises the bottle again. You press the button again and it adds filtered cooled water so the temp is just right for baby. It's basically a glorified baby coffee machine but with formula. I just found it saved my sanity and I felt confident knowing I was making bottles the 'right' way. To make it even easier we had some of the tommee tippee powder dispensers which I topped up for those night feeds so you aren't faffing about with scoops.

The tongue tie will probably explain why she may not have liked the tt bottles. Hopefully she'll get on better with the nuk bottles now

How tall a bottle can you fit under the perfect prep ?
The nuk bottles are about half inch to inch taller than the tommy tippy ones
 
Cant add anything concrete here...
By the time we got to number 3 i realised that babies are pretty much bombproof...
Dont get too ocd about sterilising everything..

I'd actually forgotten about these times till i read this
Enjoy your down time
 
Seems ironic talking about expensive gadgets on an av forum :)

We paid £65 for our machine (think they are that much in Asda as the baby event is on, hopefully you've managed to bag some other bargains!) and I'd honestly have paid £100. I've used it 4-7 times a day over the last 11 months so I've had my monies worth. I couldn't think of anything worse than having to faff about making bottles as advised on the tin, especially when I was recovering from my c-section.

You'd be hard pressed to find a bottle than doesn't fit under there to be honest. I have the tommee tippee ones and they sit on the middle level and it has 4 height levels.

Is the tongue tie bad enough that they will cut it?
 
Waiting on finding that out about the tongue tiedness

Ordered us a machine, just under seventy

We got four nuk bottles, with the slow flow hospital style teat
Maybe once tongue tiedness sorted and she bit older will move back to the tommy tippy or avent bottles
 
Nothing to add other than congratulations. Doesn't seem like 5 minutes ago you were stressing over the wedding!

Try not to worry, the first 18 years are the worst... :D
 
Cheers my friend, and yep very true about wedding
 

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